[squishy1]

Hi everyone

I've been off and on here for about 3 or 4 years. The last time was more than a year ago.
I've never been "skinny." When I was younger, in junior high mostly, it really really bothered me. I went through periods of starving myself to lose weight and whatnot, but always gained the weight back + more. When I was about 17 and a half, I became completely comfortable with being a plus sized woman. I was a size 16 or 18 bottoms, 14/16 tops. I was proud of my squish, proud of my size. I had such an amazing body image for the first time ever! I was SO confident! This is an incredible thing for anyone, especially considering how rare it is for someone to love their body. However, while it was a wonderful thing, it soon became a problem. Being okay with being plus sized made me somewhat apathetic about what I ate. I started eating whatever I wanted, when I wanted, in whatever portion sizes I wanted. Since then, I think I've gained 40-50lbs or more. I'm not sure exactly how much because I look at weight as only a number; a number that means nothing to me. What matters to me is how I feel, and I've noticed a difference in how I physically feel. More out of breath, etc.
I'm worried about developing high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, and all those other health problems. I want to be healthy. I'm only 19 for cryin' out loud. Soooo, while I'm completely comfortable with being plus sized, I want to be plus sized AND healthy.
So, my first step is going to be starting to exercise again, which I haven't done in over a year!! I'm also going to buy a scale tomorrow so that I can track how much weight I lose, even though I exactly care about what my weight IS, I'd like to keep track of how much I LOSE. Right now I wear a size 20, some brands 22, in bottoms and size 18/20, sometimes 22/24 in tops. I'd like to get back to a 16, maybe 18, in bottoms and 14/16 tops, which I think is totally do-able and totally reasonable. I felt really good and healthy then. Maybe even I'll go down to a 14, but at least 18 is my goal for now.

But anyway, I needed to share!!

[futurepixie]

Good for you!

I think that it sounds like your head is in a wonderful place, and your goals are too. That matters so so so very much. And it is nice to hear about someone who loves their outsides. I admire you for that- I haven't mastered it yet.

I think that as long as your number one goal is better health, then the rest will fall into place for you- and you may even surprise yourself.

[shrinkingchica]

Well, it really IS all about just trying to be healthier on this site and not purely losing for losings sake.
So, good luck, I know you can do it and Welcome!

[Mama_Angel_2006]

Hi Squishy:
I'm in the same boat you are. Except I'm a few years older than you. I'm slowly using weight but it's required a change in eating habits and for me that's really hard when your significant other is a junk food junkie! I guess it just requires more will power! Anyways,

[Ready2ShedLBS]

I think its wonderful that you are happy with your outside at a plus size, size. I remember when I was a size 14 I was like.. I would just be happy if I was an 11, haha I got to an 11 and then it was I would be happy at a 9, then 7, and now.. I am aiming for a 5 which I am *sometimes* a 5 now.. just depends on who makes them, judging by my weight and height you wouldnt think I was a 7 but I am.. so.. just a forewarning.. diet and exercise become very consuming.. so you may very well surpass your original goal..

[squishy1]

Thanks to those of you who replied!!
I've officially started my weight loss. I stopped taking Effexor, which caused me to gain about 50 pounds, and since I stopped taking it I've lost 7 or 8 pounds(I haven't even started exercising yet). I was about 276, now I'm 268. Bought a new scale and everything a few days ago! I'm gonna start my exercise soon, and we're getting a pool this summer so I'll be able to get in it too!

[MissLeeLee]

I love your attitude! Welcome back!!

[mscatren]

Squishy-

i am so glad to see that there is someone who feels the same way i do! i have always been a little thick and im okay with that. i love my my curves, but i just want to be healthy. I'm sorta new at this so if anyone has suggestions im open to em!

*~CAT~*