Weight Loss Support - A little resistance from significant others?




ellabella
03-05-2007, 10:59 AM
Okay, I know this isn't exactly a new subject, and from the posts I've read, our husbands, mates, partners, significant others, ETC., seem to provide varying degrees of support for our weight loss efforts ranging from, say, 100%+ supportive, to actually sabotaging us. Mine, to date, has been 100%+, I'd
have to say. And in a good way, too - telling me that he's perfectly happy with how I am now, but if I need to lose weight for ME, he understands and wants to be supportive. Actually, HE could stand to take off a good 20 pounds (or 30, to be perfectly honest, although at 6'2, he certainly carries the extra weight a lot more gracefully than I do). SO, he - not me, you understand, but HE - said he'd just as soon eat what I was eating. (High fiber, low calorie, low fat - lots of salad, high fiber cereal, high fiber breads, fruits and veggies, lean meats). SO, I've been making us both really attractive meals all weekend - things that meet *our* diet criteria but look nice and are nicely garnished. Lovely, in fact, not having to cook separate meals or sit nibbling on my greens while he scarfs down macaroni & cheese or something. So, this MORNING, after we both have our high fiber cereal with blueberries (VERY filling) I notice him over at the counter making his usual peanut butter sandwich and a half to munch on his way to work (we both have at least one-hour commutes in opposite directions). I didn't SAY anything, but am feeling REALLY resentful, like he didn't really mean what he said. I KNOW I'm overreacting a little bit, but it really did annoy me. I'm sure I'll get over it, but for some reason, that just stuck in my craw something awful. Hard to explain. I just feel a little sabotaged, even though it's not going to make ME eat anything I shouldn't. Oh, blah! I sound just like a control freak, don't I? LOL This diet is just SO important to me right now. I feel like it's now or never, you know? Oh well, have a great day, all, and keep on keeping on!
Ella :p


healthytoad
03-05-2007, 11:26 AM
Okay... deep breath...release... :)

It sounds like he is being wonderfully supportive! give him a great big hug! His making a peanut butter sandwich for himself doesn't make him less supportive! He is bigger and a guy.. his calorie requirements are going to be different. What fills you up may not be enough to fill him up and hold until lunch. (this one took me a long time to accept.. I wanted to keep up and eat as much as he did. I had to learn that I have to give myself smaller portions..unfair as it is!)

Peanut butter is good for you! If it's on whole wheat, so much the better. It's not like he grabbed a bag of pork rinds and beer LOL And even if he did...that is his choice. You wouldn't want anyone policing what you eat, would you? Or thinking what you choose to eat some how affecting their emotional well being or choice to be healthy? Let it go, appreciate what a gift you have in a supportive husband :)

canadian mom
03-05-2007, 11:37 AM
I think it is great that he is being supportive. My hubby makes somthing else after he eats also if he is still hunry. i do not take this offensively it could be worse he could be asking YOU to make it for him.


kaplods
03-05-2007, 11:41 AM
My husband weighs about 25 lbs more than I do, and is 6" taller than I am (In my warped logic, that makes me "heavier" than he is - at least I am much more overweight than he is).

And yet, that darned y chromosome seems to mean that he can eat at least 1.5 times as many calories as I can AND STILL lose more weight per week.
It used to frustrate me to no end, because seeing him eat stuff I couldn't, especially if it was something "off plan" (mine, not necessarily his), and still lose more weight that week than I did - well, lets just say my thoughts weren't always generous. But it's not his fault that his metabolism works differently than mine, and even when he just isn't as interested in dieting as I am, I can't make his choices for him (and most of the time, I remember that).

ennay
03-05-2007, 11:46 AM
I would see that as supportive too. dh eats well at home and whatever the heck he wants not at home and that way we are both happy.

He may need more calories than you, or he may just not be ready to jump in fully. But as long as he isnt fighting you about the meals you do share I would just be silent.

clvquilts
03-05-2007, 11:50 AM
Even though I have a ton of lunch meats and healthy salad makings in the fridge, my DH ordered 2 pizzas for lunch yesterday. Our local parlor has a two-fer offer. DH likes to get them both so he can reheat the leftovers. Fortunately, I HATE cold pizza or reheated pizza.

But, of course I had to indulge in a slice of sausage and a slice of mushroom AND a second slice of sausage, not because I was still hungry, but because I couldn't resist. And I only ate one of the big chewy crusts.

The good news is it filled me up for the day and I didn't even want to have a salad for dinner to compensate.

onmyown
03-05-2007, 11:50 AM
haha! You really have to focus on yourself. It's great he's eating what you are. Mine eats the old way. ANd the thing is I USED to try to eat what he was eating and he's 6'2" and i'm 5'7" and i'm not a guy. Guys luckily can eat more. If he was eating what I was not only would he be starving but he would lose twice as much as me. No, I let him eat what he wants and I feel THAT much more healthy when I'm eating this beautiful chicken salad heaped with chicken on top! I think he's more health conscious when I'm eating this way. But I understand your frustration don't get me wrong. He SAID he WANTED to eat what you were eating. But again that peanut butter isn't the worst thing for him. If had started eating one of those huge snicker bars or something like that then.....grrrrr. But MINE never commited to eat the same and i'll be watching a movie with him and he'll be eating that popcorn that is off limits to me...awwwwwww

Beach Patrol
03-05-2007, 11:55 AM
I can't even get my husband to try whole-grain bread. He did, however, switch to "WhiteWheat" :rolleyes:

One itty-bitty step at a time.... :carrot:

Cheryl14
03-05-2007, 12:06 PM
Your husband IS eating what you are eating, but he's eating some extra stuff, too. That's OK. He's STILL eating what you are eating! Guys DO require a larger amount of food even IF they are eating the same foods as we women are eating! I live with my husband and two sons (5'11" husband and sons who are 6'4" and 6'1") I'm just 5'6". Although we are all eating the same foods that I cook, they eat all kinds of extra stuff that I don't as well as MUCH, MUCH larger portions. I doubt that your husband ever meant that he would eat the exact AMOUNTS of everything you eat and go one-for one-with you on all foods for the day! Congratulate him for all of us for being a very supportive guy!

Cheryl

ellabella
03-05-2007, 12:09 PM
LOL! You all KNOW that you've made MY day, right???? Actually, the peanut butter WAS on 15-grain whole wheat bread. And OF COURSE he can eat more than I can - he's BIGGER! (I think I had forgotten that little detail). Thank you SO, SO much!
Have a great day, folks!
Ella