Oh man. I just had a friend take my photo. Front, side and back. Who the heck IS the person in those pics??? I'm talking serious FAT chick.
Do any of you think of yourself as your skinny self, or your previous self? I think of myself as BK (before kids). I was thin...I was cute !! I was PRETTY! And now I see this picture and it totally makes me want to barf.
Talk about a housewife from ****. I look so frumpy it is sad. I look HUGE HUGE HUGE. I called a local hair salon and have an appt scheduled for tomorrow. It won't fix my problem, but least I can do is have good hair, right? We moved to a new state back in September and I have not had anything done to my hair since before that.
Man, I look so gross....I just had to post. Maybe I'm writing more to myself , but knew the friends here would let me.
On another note I have joined a local BIGGEST LOSER challenge at our YMCA, it started 2 weeks ago and ends on May 25th. Main reason for the new photo. However since all the weight came on I never allow my photo to be taken, that is why this is such a shocker. The number on the scale is bad enough, but seriously a photo IS worth a THOUSAND words, isn't it?!?!?!?!?!
03-02-2007, 03:23 PM
I'm so glad we have a place to blurt like that. It does feel better to get it out in type ... don't you think?
I agree with everything you said, photos are often the kick in the butt that we need to get started, but ... I can't agree on one thing ... you probably are cute and pretty still. Those good things don't change they just become ... overshadowed. have fun at the salon.
03-02-2007, 03:51 PM
I can understand your shock at seeing that your internal picture of yourself is jarringly different than the photo you saw, but to provide another perspective: I have been morbidly obese since early childhood (underweight until about age 4, and obese by 5 or 6). I look back at photos of myself in highschool, during the year or two that I had dieted down (with diet pills) to just a little overweight and even any photo of me under 225 lbs, and say "wow I was HOT," even being a "fat chick."
Some people get motivation from disgust at themselves, and I'm certainly not going to judge, but I'm slowly learning that the opposite is true for me. Weight loss doesn't give me confidence - Confidence allows me to lose weight.
03-02-2007, 03:55 PM
2bthinagain -- I agree -- it's like looking at someone else -- so I think we are more objective when we see a picture than even when we look in the mirror. I unfortunately had not only let myself gain 100 lbs, but had completely given up on my appearance as well - wearing men's t-shirts that were way too big, nasty looking sweats or jeans, etc. So, now that I'm working on it, I'm doing the same -- making sure my hair is nice and done, a little make up and clothes that fit. I have to be overweight at this point, but I don't have to look like I don't care about myself. Besides, those pictures will help you put it all in perspective when you get to take your next set!!!
03-02-2007, 04:36 PM
a few years ago i mad a concious effort to loose some weight. i lost about 30 pounds. in retrospect i don't think that i ever looked better in my life ( except mabey when i was in hs) IN RETROSPECT. at the time...it was never good enough, i still thought i was fat. i still felt embarrased and inadiquit. i slowly sunk into a depressinon and put the weight back on over time. i'm the heaviest now that i have ever been in my life. about a year ago i started seeing a therapist and realized that i had alot of self esteem problems that i didn't realize i had. i realized that i was a defeatist, that i sabatoge myself. alot of things ...but the key is that i realize. am i upset with myself for letting this get this bad. yes. but the brightside to this is that this time i have what it takes to embrace myself. this time i not only know that i deserve to suceed but ui demand that sucess. tomorrow is going to happen.....tomorrow being the sum of all my small day to day sucesses that will add up to me being at goal weight. it's just over the horizin for me, and it is for you too. mabey this is your "this time". don't down yourself. now you have what it takes to not let this happen again. keep going you will get there, you will transform right before your own eyes and it will be the most amazing thing ever. you have that to look forward to.:)
03-02-2007, 04:37 PM
btw...."Weight loss doesn't give me confidence - Confidence allows me to lose weight.
absolutely brilliant. that's worth taping to my mirror.
03-02-2007, 05:01 PM
Ah yes, I did that myself when I started my WW last week and I was appalled!!!! I couldn't believe how I look. It's like when I looked in the mirror I really didnt see myself. It wasn't pretty, but I'm glad I did it now.
03-02-2007, 05:06 PM
2bthinagain: Let me first say that I feel your pain and I understand EXACTLY how you feel. How can we have this picture in our mind of what we think we look like (like before kids) and the reality be so radically different? Denial, I guess. Glad we have a place like this to vent.
HOWEVER, I also have to say I had to laugh a little bit at how you wrote your post. Your outrage is very clear and you certainly left no question as to how you really feel. Thanks for the chuckle!
But, hang in there! You can do it and make the after picture just that much better!!!
03-02-2007, 05:16 PM
i refuse to post pics of myself for that reason...i look horrid in pictures...if my fiance had seen a picture of me before he saw me in person, he would have never given me a second look...even though it is not about outward looks...but i am much better looking in person, and we are our own worst critics on top of that...i have to turn my head to the left and slightly lift my chin to look halfway presentable in pics...find your good side!!!
03-02-2007, 05:30 PM
I know what you mean. The picture is partially what caused me to get serious in the first place. I've known for a while that my daughter isn't too proud about the way I look. Especially lately. She was pretty young when I was at my goal weight. And in the past maybe year I've put on another 10 or 20 pounds. So she snapped a picture of me without me knowing it and she 'saved' in on the digital camera. I couldn't believe it. I looked like this horrible looking frumpie lady and I didn't have my contacts on so I was wearing these disgusting readers and my hair was pulled back and I had on this big ol' sweatshirt. Since starting this a week ago. I've been wearing makeup and doing my hair (more often) and trying to make an effort. It' really feels good doing these things. Well, keep those before pictures because I can't wait to see them after you get to your goal!!!! I'll save mine as well. But no way will I show them off yet! hahaha
p.s. we'll have to go have one of those professional sexy pictures taken when this is all done with....well...anything will look sexy compared to the way I looked in that first picture...hahaha
03-02-2007, 06:14 PM
Thanks everyone. I'm still in shock. I mean, I knew I was fat....but I just had no clue what the people around me actually were seeing. It's humilating.
Love the idea of a professional sexy pic being taken when it's all done. But I cant' imagine that day ever getting here.
The one bonus, I've lost my appetite for sure. I will try to work on confidence, but currently I have nothing to be confident about, other then I'm confident Im the biggest mom in town. Oh and luckily I have my personality to fall back on.;)
03-02-2007, 06:18 PM
Use those pics to motivate you!! I know that I like to "talk" to myself as I'm working out "I'm NEVER going to be fat again!" , rinse, repeat :)
And I do think we are harder on ourselves than anyone is... my DF thinks I'm the hottest chick in the world (and he met me when I was at a "normal" weight). He gets really upset when I berate myself and say I'm fat, he just doesn't see me that way.
Hold your head HIGH! Fake it till you make it! Focus on those pics and do everything you can to NEVER be that way again!!
You can do it!!
03-02-2007, 07:31 PM
Of course you have things to be confident about, your weight, even if you hate what it is right now, does not define you. Your weight is only one small part of who you are. Fat is JUST fat. Don't dismiss yourself and your accomplishments so easily. It tears me up to see women tear down their whole self-worth based on weight gain. Have you really accomplished so little in your life, that gaining weight negates it all! Come on you're a mom, you know better than that!
Remorse and guilt may provide you some motivation, but looking at weight loss and your health as something you are doing to pamper your wonderful self (as apposed to dieting in order to punish your sorry, worthless butt) will make the process a lot less painful.
Get that sexy photo now.
03-02-2007, 07:59 PM
The glamour photo sounds like a great idea...but i fear that even that will come out horrible too...if the photographer took 50 pics...maybe 2 of them would be good...:dizzy: :getwell: may our pics get well soon
03-02-2007, 08:33 PM
I agree with Colleen -- at what point did we become a sum of our weight? It should dictate how our life goes as much as our shoe size does! It is just a superficial fact of life -- we are all mothers, sisters, daughters, friends, etc. not "233 pounds" -- do you put that on your resume or do you put your finer qualities? I am upset that my picture is so horrible, but those around me that really matter don't look at me and go ":fr:" every time they see me, why should I? We need to get past the superficial and start working on who we want to be -- inside and out.
03-02-2007, 09:39 PM
My kick in the rear was not a picture, though those pics of me in my bridesmaid gown for my sister's wedding last year was enough to make me want to barf... My dress was a size 22, the largest size that the gown came in, and though the waist did fit, the bust was way too big and had to be altered down to fit my 40 D bust. The size 22 thing was pretty humiliating, since my sister is a size 6, and her other bridesmais were a size 4 and a size 12... I was the only "big mama" in the wedding party. Everyone said I looked lovely. I think I looked like a big burgundy hippopotumus...
My actual kick was an unexpected glimpse at my naked backside in the mirror. I was undressed, and about to get into the tub. I had just had a fresh haircut, and I took a hand mirror and was fiddling around with my hair, and then I looked down, and I really wanted to barf. I had never really seen me from that angle before. Thank god for clothing to cover that mess up! I mean, how disgusting! I think I have the ugliest behind, flat and wide. YUK!! Anyway, that's what made me want to turn it around... I want to see if I actually have a decent figure underneath all this flab. It's been so long since I have seen it, and I really want to see it again...
03-02-2007, 10:37 PM
My kick in the butt, the 18th, 109th? I dont know, I've tried so many "diets". Anyway, the one that got me, was a picture of me sitting with my dad and 2 kids, in this double chair he has. Everyone was all crunched, except me. Me, I was spread in all my fat girl glory, smiling like an idiot. I saw those and about died. WTF?!?! Who the BLAZES is that fat chick with my dad? Oh crap! Thats ME!!! What the heck HAPPENED to me? I got fat, thats what happened....
So, I changed it. I quit doing "diets" and started living a healthier life. Moved more, made healthier choices, and cut back on sweet tea and coffee and started drinking a bit more water.
*btw? When I say fat chick, in refrence to myself, it's an honest take, not a summation of who I am, if others can snicker when I walk by, it's much easier to take them aback if I laugh too, yanno?
03-02-2007, 10:58 PM
Oh no I'm not dismissing any of my accomplishments. Sorry I came across like that. I know I'm everyones best friend. I'm very social and make friends very easily. I have wonderful kids and a great life. College educated but now a stay at home mom. Many good things about my life, and it's not so much that my weight defines me....I just don't like the way it looks, and as if it doesn't gross me out enough, esp after seeing the photos, it just hurts that every place I go, every playgroup, every workout room, every party, every where I see the skinny moms....it's just like for once, just ONE day could be there be ONE other plus size mom. And now I'm on a soap box, forgive me one and all.......even in the plus size catalogs, that don't look very PLUS. The media, the magazines, the celebs, THIN IS IN, and I guess that is what makes me feel unacceptable to others in the weight dept. People who haven't been "here" just don't understand how I got to be this big. I hate the "looks" from people that don't even know me, and don't know my story. Sadly there are people that judge us on our looks...and that's just sad. Because the inside is so much better.
I know I'm a good person. I'm a good wife and a good mom, a good daughter and a good sister. I know I have great qualities.....the one problem I have is this belly and chin and yada yada yada. Just because I do not recognize that skin. I don't look like me. I could have my old weight and have purple dots on me and I would not recognize me. That's all it is, I want to recognize me. KWIM?
Velveteen -- I will try what you suggested, good tip for sure.
Lacorso - thanks for the laugh.
Shelby - and Colleen thanks too for your advice, I will be working on who I want to be ......just a little more so on the OUT.
Thanks everyone. I knew I could come here and vent my frustration and be made to feel so welcome.:hug:
03-02-2007, 11:07 PM
Cajungal - I hear ya! I know exactly what you are talking about! I'm sure we all have a great figure underneath the extra flab. And I mean that in the nicest way! For me that picture was just nasty. I should take photos more often. I should stand boldly in front of a 3 way mirror and just check out all my glory. Hopefully it won't be there forever. I mean, that's why I'm using 3fatchicks right? To keep me on track!
Angihas2 -- you can call me a fatchick any time. Anyway, I know what everyone means about the healthy lifestyle. That really is the bottom line.
Thanks EVERYONE for sharing your advice and words of wisdom....
anyone else have photo stories to share??
03-03-2007, 12:02 AM
I can totally identify with how you are feeling. I was watching a video my son made of our family at Christmas time. I know I am fat. I see the fat me when I look in the mirror. But, the fat person I saw in that video seemed to look so much more fat than the person I see in the mirror. It was hideous. I wonder if other people see the fat person from the mirror or the fater person from the video. I know my family loves me no matter what, but as others have said ~ there are others out there who judge us by our outer apperance.
03-03-2007, 08:27 AM
I’ve REALLY been enjoying this thread, mainly because I, too, hadn’t realized the full extent of my goldanged FAT CHICK-ness until I saw some photos that my (skinny little) sister took when she was up here visiting from North Carolina in September. (I’m in Massachusetts). We drove down to Newport, RI for a day because that’s where we both were raised and both love the ocean. We climbed around on the rocks up past the public beach and sat looking at the tide coming in. It was really awesome. Her son, who is just coming back from a couple of years spent in and out of hospitals with an inoperable malignant brain tumor (He’s in remission! Hooray!) was with us and was snapping photos. NOT a digital camera, so she promised to get them developed and send me a set when she got home. She took forever to send them - I had to keep reminding her when we talked on the phone - but finally, a couple of weeks ago, the package arrived in the mail. I swooped down on it, tore it open, and about fell over. Was that ME? Omigawd! I looked like a whale cavorting about on the beach with a SARDINE! Yup. That did it. I am SO done with thinking I look “fine” as I just buy one size larger, pretending it’s because I “don’t like my clothes too tight”. Bologna! It’s because one size smaller is TOO small! I’ve been “doing the healthy stuff” since I saw those danged pictures. Today, I’m even going out for a walk. Haven’t weighed myself yet because I’m “scairt”. <g>
THANK you for all the input, support, and shared stories! This is GREAT!
Have a beautiful, healthy day!