Weight Loss Support - combating self sabotage

View Full Version : combating self sabotage

03-01-2007, 11:25 AM
My SIL helped me realise that I am a self-saboteur. When I'm on form (dieting and exercising) I can loose between 2-4lbs a week. My plan is when I get down to my goal weight DH and I can start trying for third child. At this rate I could be there in as few as 6 weeks. The problem is that my youngest just turned 4 months. I'm not mentally ready to start trying again, which is where the sabotage comes in. I only worked out once last week, and once this week. I haven't really been watching what I eat. I do realise part of it could be fatigue from being a single mom right now. DH should be back with in the next 2-3 months. I don't know what to do to give myself the motivation again. I know I am sooo close, but yet still so far away.

Oh yeah, and I'm gaining weight again. 2 weeks ago I was down to 162, I'm back up to 165 again. :(

03-01-2007, 11:33 AM
Hi there! I am a self sabatoger at times too.. but if its not wanting another baby right away then why not just tell your hubby you wanna wait? Also, the fluctuation in weight may not be that you have gained, because I know personally.. I fluctuate 2-3lbs always.. hence.. I dont weigh myself anymore.. I just dont.. lol.. Personally I am a slave to the scale, my little girl broke mine and Im *not* buying another :)

03-01-2007, 11:39 AM

Remember...you CAN lose the weight now and WAIT awhile to begin trying for that third child! That would give your body time to recover from baby #2 AND help you enjoy that thin body for awhile BEFORE you get pregnant again. It sounds like you are afraid of losing the weight because then you'll HAVE to get working on trying for your third child. Maybe you need some time with #2 before you try for #3. Is it your husband who wants another child so soon after the second one? Remember that is YOU who has to carry the child and YOU who needs to really want to do this again! Just MY two cents!


03-01-2007, 11:50 AM
The orignal plan was to wait til #2 is a year before we started trying again. I thought it would take me that long to loose the weight. Now that it's coming off easier than I thought, I'm worried that it will just happen cuz I will feel sexier and want more sex! :p We're strictly Catholic, so I won't prevent pregnancy.

03-01-2007, 01:22 PM
We're strictly Catholic, so I won't prevent pregnancy.

Do catholics WANT more babies? A friend of mine told me once, "I'm Catholic. I know, I have 6 siblings!" when she said that her mom didn't use birth control. I know some Orthodox Jews have INTENTIONS to have a lot of kids, but I didn't think Catholics cared too much about the number of kids, just they'd keep the babies if they "happened".

03-01-2007, 01:46 PM
How were you going to prevent it if you DIDNT lose the weight?

You can always use natural family planning. I believe most Catholics are ok with that. (Thats where you take and chart your temperature and just abstain during your fertile times). Also, if you havent yet, delaying starting of solid foods if you are nursing can extend the protection of nursing longer. Although once your baby starts sleeping through the night, your natural protection is greatly diminished anyway.

If it is stressing you out to think about having another child right now then I would think about the sanctioned ways of delaying pregnancy. There are plenty of fun things that can be done in the bedroom without as much pg risk.

In either case, try to separate the weight from the pregnancy scenario. You are getting healthy for YOU and for the family you have now.

03-01-2007, 03:12 PM
I'm quite talented at self-sabotage. I've done it successfully at least two or three times. My best armor to keep from doing it this time is twofold: let everyone in my world know what I am trying to do and what I tend to do as I get close to my goal and keep reminding that it is NOT time to slack off now!

The other thing is to remind myself - do you really want to do this again? Are you really looking forward to jumping back up to a size 24 and need to ask for the extension on the seat belt on the plane? To be breathless when you climb a flight of stairs? To spend yet another year shopping at the fat lady store? To be embarrassed when strangers look at you because you're big, not because you're beautiful?

But then, I'm 43 and have done this entirely too many times. I'm single and completely nonreproductive by choice, so I don't understand the need to produce BUT I recall reading in a really wonderful book called "The Dieter" that "if she spaces her pregnancies right, she can blame her fat on her kids for another 10 years." You don't want to do this and you know it.

Food for thought. The good news is that we have this wonderful forum and the best folks in the world on it to keep us motivated and upbeat as we move to our goals. Thank heavens for that!

03-01-2007, 04:02 PM

If you are interested in Natural Family Planning (and if it acceptable to your beliefs) I reccomend a book called Taking Control of Your Fertility. I used it to get pregnant but it works both ways. Very clear and detailed method of predicting when you are fertile. Course you would have to use so restraint but I think its only for one week out of the month and then you could just put a little more energy into your workouts.

Best of luck.

03-01-2007, 06:27 PM
veggielover ~ We both want 6-8 kids. We do not believe in preventing in any way.

ennay ~ Not feeling sexy enough to have sex. I know about NFP/FAM, we used that to get pregnant with our 2 kids.

hikerchick ~ I have the book and the software. We had infertility issues TTC our first (she took 3.5 years, our second only took 2 cycles), and that helped figure out the problem. Now that it's 'fixed' I'm worried.

You don't want to do this and you know it.
That's what I needed, thank you.

I guess I'm just more depressed now. I feel like I'm drowning. I've been keeping my head up for 4 months now. DH needs to come home to get me out of the water.

03-01-2007, 07:43 PM
:hug: It has to be so hard to have a 4 month old and another child with your dh in iraq. I do feel for you so much there, I am practically drowning today and I have that support.

Take care of you however you can.

03-02-2007, 11:42 AM
I have made an appt to see a psychiatrist for Tuesday at 9:30. I probably should have done this weeks ago. Oh well, I'm doing it now.