Weight Loss Support - Why does this annoy me so much?

View Full Version : Why does this annoy me so much?

02-22-2007, 06:51 PM
I've re-started my weight loss after maintaining for several months and now I have a weight loss buddy. She's new to town and we get along great. We also have about the same amount to lose to get to our goals.

Last night we were talking about our weights and food issues and whatnot and she mentioned how she's going to miss eating fast food for lunch every day and having all that full-fat ice cream in the evenings, but that's how she got to the weight she is so it's got to go. I just laughed and said "yeah". But here's where I feel kinda down...that's not how I got here. I didn't eat mounds of fast food or yummy snacks. I just had a portion control issue. I can't actually remember the last time I "pigged out" on junk food.

I guess what's bugging me is that here I am at the bottom of the hill working my way back up, but I didn't get to have the fun ride down. For some reason, mentally, it feels different to have gained weight eating whole grain pastas and fruits and veggies (in too large quantites, mind you) than to have been sitting around munching on potato chips and pizzas. I feel like I missed the fun.

I know this isn't totally rational. Obviously it doesn't matter how you gained the weight if you're going to try to lose it. And, I suppose it means I've already learned the right food habits, if not the right eating habits. But I can't help feeling like maybe I should have eaten that pint of Hagen Daas by myself or something because now I really can't.

Thanks for letting me vent!

02-22-2007, 07:16 PM
You're right...it's not rational. If you didn't eat that way, you probably wouldn't have enjoyed it or enjoyed how you felt. If I were you, I'd be happy that you don't have to deal with battling fast food or sugar cravings. No matter what your weight, you are probably a whole lot healthier having eaten too much healthy food than if you were the same weight having eaten fast food and junk!

Portion control is a BIG issue to deal with :hug:


02-22-2007, 07:28 PM
I can understand that. I also understand the battle for sugar, fast food and soda. So from the other side of the fence, how DARE you not have those issues. J/K!! I think regardless of how each of us got to the overweight/obese side of the thin/fat fence is irrelevant, the only thing that matters now, is not how you got here, but how you leave here. Healthy<you're WAY ahead of the game here>, with portion size under control, and hopefully, fitter than when we began.

02-22-2007, 07:45 PM
I'm with you. Truthfully, I've always eaten relatively healthy foods. I've always despised most fast food. From a healthy food standpoint I should be good right? There are a few unhealthy foods that I love but I have almost always eaten them in moderation. (with the exception of a binge here and there that was more psychologically damaging than physically damaging)

I got fat on portions too.

02-22-2007, 07:51 PM
You're right Margaret, it isn't rational but it makes total sense!

I agree with what Mel and Angi have said. But I can understand what you mean. Sometimes I actually miss some of my binges - I know it sounds wild... but it's true. However, memory's a tricky thing. I remember how amazing the food tasted at first, how those first few bites of everything were just so wonderful... but somehow I don't immediately remember how depressed I felt, how unattractive, how deeply ashamed. I choose not to remember how disgusting I feel after eating a dozen or two dozen cookies. Even now as I write this some part of me is saying "yeah but it all tasted so good". Yeah, I guess.. but it all tasted horribly too. And I know how I look on the outside, but who knows what all of that unhealthy food has done to my insides.

Still, I understand.

But I can't help feeling like maybe I should have eaten that pint of Hagen Daas by myself or something because now I really can't. I disagree. Yes, you can. You can always make that choice - whether you do or not is a different matter. I don't recommend it of course, but the choice is still yours.

02-22-2007, 07:52 PM
However, I don't understand the feeling that "now I really can't." I can and do. Just way more moderately than I did. Had pizza the other night. But its the first pizza in at least 2 or 3 months. I don't recall the last time I had pizza before that. Whereas I used to have pizza at least every week. I used to eat junk food constantly. Now I know that it's something I don't say I "can't" have, but something I can't have "all the time".

02-22-2007, 07:55 PM
I would have never thought on that on my own- but now that I do, I would be envious too- especially if I rarely ate those taboo items and had a hardy appreciation for the taste of an extra-cheese pizza. ^-^ I don't think it is irrationals, and I think it is healthy that you understand why you are unsatisfied. What is irrational is if you decided to eat the way she had just because you feel you missed out. That would be like going through a party stage in your forties because you "missed out" when you are a teens and early twenties. Not worth it- so keep up the positive work, at least you won't have to battle the chemical cravings from Fa(s)t food.

02-22-2007, 07:55 PM
Maybe I'm not understanding your post, but you said you've maintained your weight for the past several months right? So you've maintained eating large portions of healthy food...she's gained weight from eating junk. So you shouldn't feel bad because you didn't gain, you just didn't lose. It's going to be much easier for you to get back on track then it will be for her.

02-22-2007, 09:50 PM
It's hard to think you might have "missed out" on the "fun" of eating a whole container of Haagen Dazs and then wondering how soon your arteries will completely clog up. :lol:

But never fear--eventually you'll learn how to eat things like ice cream--in small portions, consciously, with a strategy so that it doesn't blow everything. It is possible. But it takes some time and commitment to get to that point.

The last time I ate a fast food hamburger, I couldn't finish it, and what's more, I didn't want to. It no longer tasted good to me. Why feel bad about missing out on something that you don't like? :dizzy:

When I want pizza, I have a Lean Cuisine pizza for lunch or dinner. It's enough, and it satisfies that desire. I know exactly how many calories are involved, and I can't overeat on it because when it's gone, it's gone.

You aren't missing out on anything except something more to give up!!! Keep going! You're on the right track!


02-22-2007, 10:19 PM
I can relate to this. I was the same way--I didn't eat a lot of fast foods, never drank regular soda, didn't binge, nor did I eat a lot of sweets or desserts (certainly more than I do now, but really, not that much). Sometimes I'll hear someone talking about how they lost weight just by giving up fast food and concentrating on eating healthier and I'll think "Well [expletive], I have have measure, weigh, and count every fricking calorie, gram, and ounce I put in my mouth and keep it all under a strict limit to lose weight. I wish it were as simple for me as giving up fast food and regular soda; I could do that in a snap." :mad: It is frustrating!

But I try to remember that if had eaten all that stuff, I probably would have weighed a lot more than I did and it would have been a lot more work to lose the weight. And because I already had reasonably healthy habits, it definitely gave me a leg up. At least I already knew how to plan my meals and cook my own food. It's hard to teach yourself both portion control and healthy eating at the same time; luckily I already had a good start on the healthy part and only had to learn the portion control part.

My mom's favorite saying was "Life isn't fair" (seriously, she said this just about anytime we complained about something). One of my favorite sayings is "Change the things you can; let the things you can't go." This is one of those things that 1) doesn't seem fair and 2) you can't change. When I first started dieting I was really frustrated by the fact that some people would be able to eat more than me and lose or maintain their weight. People who are taller than me can eat more and weigh more and wear the same size as me. My SO can literally eat anything he wants. Eventually I had to just accept that, while it might not seem fair, I'm different and I can't do those things. There are other things that I can do that others can't.

As others have said, it doesn't mean I can't ever have pizza or Haagen Daaz, just not everyday and only in moderation. Also, I don't have to be thin. There's no law. If at any point I decide that eating pizza and Haagen Daaz is more valuable to me than being thin, I'm free to make that choice. Sometimes, I do make that choice, but then I always come back to wanting to be thin and work to lose the weight again.

02-22-2007, 10:24 PM
For some reason, mentally, it feels different to have gained weight eating whole grain pastas and fruits and veggies (in too large quantites, mind you)

It feels way more frustrating I bet.

But on a totally different topic I just wanted to say, I have a huge problem with whole grain pasta, or just pasta/white potatoes/bagels/rice (even brown rice) in that I can eat a whole bunch or even a little and feel hungry like an hour later with those types of foods. For some reason my body just doesn't want to feel full with them, so now I don't eat them. That contributed to my portion sizes, because I felt I had to eat more and more in order to fill me up. (and in essence it never did fill me up anyways!)

02-22-2007, 11:16 PM
Hi Margaret!

I TOTALLY get what you are saying!!!

I've never been much for junk food, but I certainly have eaten my share of the healthy stuff -WAAAAAAY too much of EVERYTHING!!!:?:

Here's something that helped me:

In The Thin Commandments Diet by Stephen Gullo, MD., he writes about talking with yourself and saying, "I can eat whatever I want. I DO need to ask myself if my choices are helping me to reach my goal, though. If they aren't helping me reach my goal, then maybe I need to rethink my food plan." By telling yourself that you CAN eat a certain food it relieves the sense of "bad" or "forbidden" from the food. Also, by asking yourself if eating the food will help you reach your goal, it gives the control back to YOU rather than giving the power to the FOOD.


02-23-2007, 02:16 AM
Just thought I'd check in before bed. Thanks so much you guys!!! I knew you'd understand. :)

And as for saying "I can't", I guess what I really mean is "I shouldn't". :) I'm trying to stay as healthy as possible.

JamieY: What I mean is that when we both gained our weight she did so eating unhealthy foods but I was eating large quantities of health foods. I've maintained only by carefully measuring everything out (it's the only way for me).

Man, I wish life was fair! You'd think I could have learned that lesson sometime in the past 30-something years :) j/k

Thank you so much for letting me vent a bit. It's just like Barbara said up a few posts, if only it could have been as easy as giving up regular soda or cheeseburgers! Heh heh heh. :)

02-23-2007, 06:20 AM
It's ok to feel like that and good on you for looking deeper and thinking about why you feel like this - instead of just jumping off the wagon and into a pint of ice-cream, lol.

If you try and look at the positive here though - not trying to preach, but give yourself a reason to be PROUD of yourself. You eat healthily and that is a great start. You are halfway there! Battling portion control might be tough, but YOU are tougher and you can do this! Especially with all of 3FC cheering you on! Whereas your friend will be dealing with terrible withdrawal symptoms, sugar cravings, fat cravings, thinking of how she used to eat... as well as dealing with portion control.

02-23-2007, 08:46 AM
I'm right there with you on this. I was very heavy at a very young age (I was just under 300 lbs as a 14 yr old) so I was heavily restricted in what I ate as a young person. Of course I'd eat stuff outside of the home but usually not fast food as I never cared for it. My mom would make relatively healthy dishes but I'd eat a lot of it. I didn't indulge in non-diet sodas until I went to college and even then it was usually for those late nighters than anything else. When I graduated from college, one of my favorite binge foods was french bread and brie (or other cheeses). Throughout my college years, I gained 30 lbs total. Not enough exercise and too much eating. After college, I bought a car, stopped walking everywhere and gained 30 lbs very quickly. Still I look at it and say 60 lbs I gained while I was an adult but somehow I gained well over 100 lbs too much as a young child so I don't even remember how I gained the weight! I just remember being dragged to various doctors due to the weight and always being criticized about my eating.