Weight Loss Support - Now he's upset with me because he miscalculated Lent!




cbmare
02-20-2007, 12:51 PM
As many of you know, I'm giving up beef and pork (anything that moves on 4 legs) for Lent. I did beef last year. It was a difficult struggle and a challenge to my inner strength. I decided to give up more this year. I feel that by doing this, it makes my desire to make this weight-loss journey work. It helps me to add another resolve in my life. If I can give it up for Lent, why not continue with a better eating habit?

Anyway, he counted 40 days from Easter. That would make Lent start on the 28th. I kept telling him it will start on the 21st. Sunday's are not counted. He'd made plans to take me out to a steakhouse for dinner on Wednesday. I told him that we could still go. I don't need to order steak. He's all upset with me because I won't eat steak at a steakhouse. What's the big deal? We've gone to fish places and he orders steak.

It's not my fault that he wouldn't listen, pay attention blah blah blah!

Now I have to put up with his crappy attitude!

Sabbotage! It's sabbotage!

I want a divorce.


Spinymouse
02-20-2007, 01:04 PM
He's all upset with me because I won't eat steak at a steakhouse .

That seems like a silly thing for him to be all upset about! Sheesh!

problysewin
02-20-2007, 01:57 PM
Geez, men and their meat.

He should be proud of you being able to turn down steak from a steakhouse. That's hard to due, and for Lent non the less.

My brother actually used to gripe at my SIL about not ordering steak when they'd go to a steakhouse, so she finally ordered one and put ketchup all over it. It shut him up.


ennay
02-20-2007, 02:01 PM
lol... we always had godawful steak growing up and then cooked til it resembled shoe leather. The only way I could eat steak was to dip it in ranch dressing. The first time I did that around dh he almost fainted. Then he introduced me to filet mignon medium rare. ahhhhhhh

But we went to outback steakhouse for valentines day and I ordered chicken, just wasnt in a steak mood.

marbleflys
02-20-2007, 02:29 PM
poor DH, they are such simple creatures.........

here's an easy solution....order surf and turf...........don't eat the steak, bring it home for him...

or save the steakhouse dinner for after holiday, go out for some other specialty dinner....japanese?

cbmare
02-20-2007, 02:56 PM
poor DH, they are such simple creatures.........

here's an easy solution....order surf and turf...........don't eat the steak, bring it home for him...

or save the steakhouse dinner for after holiday, go out for some other specialty dinner....japanese?

I even suggested that we go out tonight instead. I don't know why he can't change it by one day! A friend wants us to go there sometime because the chef/owner is one of his good friends.

I think he is going to agree to put it off until after Lent.

I'd been suggesting this place for the last several months. He'd been wanting to go there but always pooh pooed it. I'm not going to let him let this escalate.

- He'd wanted to go but kept saying no when I suggested it.

- He miscalculated Lent. Never mind that the dates were in the paper, online and everywhere else.

He's just being a little boy. If I didn't think he'd like it so much, I'd give him a spanking.

MariaOfColumbia
02-20-2007, 02:58 PM
So, what are you giving up? Just Beef and Pork? Or really anything that moves on 4 legs? Alligator? Rabbit?

Are snakes OK? Would a 3 legged cow be OK? Is it just mammals you are avoiding? Or could you eat an oppossom if you wanted to? How about Kangaroos? They move around on 2 legs.... AND aren't mammals....

How about frog legs? I saw some in the store just the other day. Are they disqualified by having 4 feet, even though they mostly swim?

Or is it just about giving up things you regularly eat? Can you eat weird things you don't normally eat?

Sorry, my imagination ran away with me there.... I am curious, though. What exactly are the rules you've imposed on yourself?

marbleflys
02-20-2007, 03:01 PM
I thought she would be eating fish, chicken and turkey...

FreeSpirit
02-20-2007, 03:14 PM
No offense, but I think it's cute when married couples bicker. :p

I'm sorry he's being such a baby about it, but you do have to admit... it is quite the silly situation. Taking a step outside the situation and looking in is sometimes really helpful to put things into perspective. Okay, you're husband didn't listen, you're right, (stifle that grin, missy!) but your husband cares about you and is trying to give you a wonderful night. Maybe he's upset because he feels like you're not going to have fun or enjoy yourself because you can't eat any steak. Tell him that if you like the resturaunt, you guys can go there after lent and THEN you'll have steak. He can just... taste test the steak for you, lol. I think one of the most important part of our journey is to learn to not let food control our lives. Don't let a little bit of beef ruin what could be a lovely night out with the love of your life.

Good luck, hun. I hope that you guys can work things out.

Glory87
02-20-2007, 04:03 PM
Bah, go after Lent and still order the fish. Order what you want, when you want. I don't let people influence my food choices anymore, I'm not sure why food is so wrapped up in love, companionship, social events, family. I eat for ME and for MY goals - if anyone doesn't like it, that's tough.

LaBonita
02-20-2007, 04:08 PM
Men can never be wrong. If they realize they are, they fight and fight until we cave in and "let them" be right. I'd just joke about it with him and tell him he's such a big baby. My boyfriend does it all the time...he can't stand it if I'm right!

AmberD
02-20-2007, 04:12 PM
I see divorce as the best possible solution.

That'll learn him.:p

sotypical
02-20-2007, 04:47 PM
My boyfriend is like this too. He gets upset because he thinks he is doing something nice, but I am not intrested - so it hurts his feelings. :(

Maybe some of you want to join our 40 day lent challenge http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=105082

I am giving up articial sweenters and I am counting sundays! no day offs for me

SwimGirl
02-20-2007, 05:06 PM
My bf used to think that us having pizza for dinner was something special for me, and that getting it for me showed love. I don't get it. He's coming around, he went out the other day to Costco (not a close trip) to buy me a HUGE bag of broccoli that I wanted but couldn't find on weekends. Turns out they only have it on weekdays.. go figure. That was part of my valentines day gift, I loved it because it was so thoughtful and creative.

I know we have to deal with certain things with being in a relationship, but I'd go crazy if my bf pulled that! I agree with Glory - eat what you want when you want it because it's your choice what you put into your body, not anyone elses. Which I suppose is how lots of us get overweight - eating stuff we don't REALLY want to because someone insists.

-Aimee

ennay
02-20-2007, 05:38 PM
My boyfriend is like this too. He gets upset because he thinks he is doing something nice, but I am not intrested - so it hurts his feelings. :(

Maybe some of you want to join our 40 day lent challenge http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=105082

I am giving up articial sweenters and I am counting sundays! no day offs for me

yeah...dh gave "me" a laptop computer for Xmas. The only time I get on a computer I am nursing or holding the baby...ummmm laptops dont work for that. Besides, I have a perfectly good desktop and have never liked laptops and he knows I hate computer gifts. He bought it for HIM and was mad because I am not thrilled with the present.

Whittlin
02-20-2007, 07:30 PM
Isn't the whole reason for going to a steakhouse to be able to get their scrumptuous salmon? :hun: Nothing on the menu is better! Yum! People travel for miles to get the signature salmon dishes that most steakhouses serve. The chef/owner would be delighted to see that you all ordered something different - why would the chef want the whole table to order the same thing???? He couldn't show off!

I like the surf and turf idea EXCEPT beef would still be coming to MY plate, juices all running together, as IF it was what I was going to eat and it would ruin the meal for me to be ordering exactly what I'd said I was giving up. It would make me feel uncomfortable and I would probably resent him.

I don't really think it's sabotage :chin: but this is meaningful to you and therefore time for him to step up to the plate and be supportive. Have a good season.

EZMONEY
02-20-2007, 10:25 PM
Geez, men and their meat....


Can't beat it! ;)

....... they are such simple creatures.........


Thank-you!

I even suggested that we go out tonight instead. I don't know why he can't change it by one day! A friend wants us to go there sometime because the chef/owner is one of his good friends.

Is there more to this MARE?

He's just being a little boy. If I didn't think he'd like it so much, I'd give him a spanking.

Go ahead ~ you might LIKE IT! ;)

So, what are you giving up? Just Beef and Pork? Or really anything that moves on 4 legs? Alligator? Rabbit?

Are snakes OK? Would a 3 legged cow be OK? Is it just mammals you are avoiding? Or could you eat an oppossom if you wanted to? How about Kangaroos? They move around on 2 legs.... ..?

:hungry: as Rachael says "YUM-O!" nutin' like some good 'ol possom and Kangaroo to warm the tummy.

No offense, but I think it's cute when married couples bicker. :p

WHAT? you must be single! :dizzy:
.

. I eat for ME and for MY goals - if anyone doesn't like it, that's tough.

I love strong :strong: :wl: women with attitude! :)

Men can never be wrong.

Thank-you! :D

My bf used to think that us having pizza for dinner was something special for me, and that getting it for me showed love.

-Aimee

Doesn't it? :?:

yeah...dh gave "me" a laptop computer for Xmas. The only time I get on a computer I am nursing or holding the baby...ummmm laptops dont work for that. Besides, I have a perfectly good desktop and have never liked laptops and he knows I hate computer gifts. He bought it for HIM and was mad because I am not thrilled with the present.

Oh for pete's sake ~ put the darn laptop ON THE DESK! or next year you'll get a toaster ;)

shelby897
02-20-2007, 10:45 PM
I say go and have whatever you want -- if he's so into steak, he can have the 1 lb artery clogging steak with mashed potatoes and a loaf of bread -- he'll be so tired after eating all that he won't argue!!

I have learned to compromise -- due to the fact that my husband and I went to Disney World (when we were dating), we stood outside the Hard Rock Cafe for about 1/2 hour arguing about going in (I didn't want to :dizzy: ), so we went where I wanted to go -- the Neon Armadillo -- so that is where I have to tell everyone we got engaged, because that was what he had planned to do at the Hard Rock -- so compromise, compromise I must -- if done correctly, they will still feel like they are right (even when they aren't!!)

cbmare
02-21-2007, 01:38 AM
I say go and have whatever you want -- if he's so into steak, he can have the 1 lb artery clogging steak with mashed potatoes and a loaf of bread -- he'll be so tired after eating all that he won't argue!!

so compromise, compromise I must -- if done correctly, they will still feel like they are right (even when they aren't!!)

That's what I was trying to do by going tonight (Tuesday).

He knows that I don't order beef very often.

This place serves Kobe beef. It's expensive. I would have shared a steak or at least a bite with him tonight but not after I've made my obligation to myself Wednesday.

You are absolutely right! He is usually too tired to do much other than walk in the door and go straight to bed after one of those meals. Gee! Do you think that might be why he, too(!) has a weight problem? :o

cbmare
02-21-2007, 01:44 AM
[QUOTE=EZMONEY;1580465]Can't beat it! ;)
I don't even want to comtemplate that one

Thank-you!
On behalf of Marbleflys - you are welcome!

Go ahead ~ you might LIKE IT! ;)
Actually, I prefer them. Thank you very much.

:hungry: as Rachael says "YUM-O!" nutin' like some good 'ol possom and Kangaroo to warm the tummy.
Actually, I've had kangaroo. I rather like it. Hmmmm. Since they only use 2 legs...........

I love strong :strong: :wl: women with attitude! :)
You must if you keep coming here.


Gary, you are priceless! I'm so glad to call you my cyberpal.

cbmare
02-21-2007, 01:54 AM
OK. Sheepish boobalah fixed a lovely dinner tonight.

I stopped by the German meat place next to work and got 2 fillet mignons. His was about 10 oz and mine was 6. I could eat half only. We'd gotten some 3 mushroom soup on Sunday. He fixed part of the container to go with the steak. He wrapped the steak in bacon which I didn't eat and he didn't complain. We had fresh asparagus, white no less. He fixed 2 big baked potatoes. Neither was a cheesy potato. I could only eat about a third of mine.

He even commented that he's come to realize that I'm serious about this.

DUH!!

He also looked at the menu plan that we'd made for the rest of the week. He now realizes that I'm not partaking when he has 4 legged animals on it. I've made a separate notation for myself.

This Friday will be fun. We're having a going away party for one of his guys. I don't know why he keeps having people over. After the remodel, I can't "hide" in the kitchen! I hate entertaining. He can't understand that because he thinks I'm outgoing. Well, I am on here and someone else's home. Not mine! He finally caught on to that last year. We've been together since the 80s. Sometimes geniuses are stupid people. (Yes, he is one).

cbmare
02-21-2007, 02:01 AM
So, what are you giving up? Just Beef and Pork? Or really anything that moves on 4 legs? Alligator? Rabbit?
4 legs. However, we did discuss alligator. They are amphibian. The last time I had gator was 20 years ago. So, I don't think it will be an issue here.

Are snakes OK? I've had snake. I actually like it. It slithers, no legs.Would a 3 legged cow be OK? Now that's just mean to all the 3 legged cows out there. Is it just mammals you are avoiding? Or could you eat an oppossom if you wanted to? I may be southern, but there are some of us who haven't eaten that. However, at this time, I'd have to say no.How about Kangaroos? They move around on 2 legs.... AND aren't mammals....I like "roo".

How about frog legs? I saw some in the store just the other day. Are they disqualified by having 4 feet, even though they mostly swim?We actually discussed this, too. I like frog legs. However, it is not something that we eat on a regular basis, so I think it could be put off for a few weeks.

Or is it just about giving up things you regularly eat? Can you eat weird things you don't normally eat?I had wild boar Italian sausage the other night. I liked it because it is actually leaner than most meat and has a nice flavor. However, no more for a few weeks.

Sorry, my imagination ran away with me there.... I am curious, though. What exactly are the rules you've imposed on yourself? I gave up beef last year. I added the extra challenge of giving up anything with 4 legs. beef pork etc.

I had fun with your post. Thank you. I didn't know how to feel at first, then came back in after a glass of wine and was having fun!

twistedhoneydew
02-21-2007, 09:22 AM
How about Kangaroos? They move around on 2 legs.... AND aren't mammals....


Wait, what? Kangaroos are furry and have mammary glands, which makes them mammals. They're marsupial instead of placental (just like opossums) but they're very definitely in class Mammalia.

Also, to whoever said alligators are amphibians, amphibians are creatures who spend part of their life-cycle with gills, breathing underwater, and then develop lungs and breathe air. Alligators are born breathing air, and are therefore reptiles, not amphibians, even though they live in water.

Sorry, botched taxonomy bothers me. I'll get back to work....

LLV
02-21-2007, 09:36 AM
Men can never be wrong.

Tell me about it. Mine's never wrong, either. And if he gets 'caught' and realizes he totally screwed up, he finds a way to make it look like it's my fault.

lol

Whittlin, just eat chicken! And if your husband doesn't like it, that's too bad.

Mrs Quadcrew
02-21-2007, 10:40 AM
I have a good one for this thread....we ride ATV's (which I love!) Anyhow - he bought me a set of new tires for mine for Christmas - a very nice gift, and I needed them. BUT - (here's the kicker) He gets new tires whenever he wants them for NO reason - but MINE are my Christmas gift. Gotta love 'em!;)

MariaOfColumbia
02-21-2007, 11:16 AM
Wait, what? Kangaroos are furry and have mammary glands, which makes them mammals. They're marsupial instead of placental (just like opossums) but they're very definitely in class Mammalia.

Also, to whoever said alligators are amphibians, amphibians are creatures who spend part of their life-cycle with gills, breathing underwater, and then develop lungs and breathe air. Alligators are born breathing air, and are therefore reptiles, not amphibians, even though they live in water.

Sorry, botched taxonomy bothers me. I'll get back to work....

ACK!!! :fr: You are right!

I used to know that stuff! My memory is going. :( :faint: Senility approaches. :( I'd better start doing some sort of mental exercises to try and preserve what's left....

cbmare
02-21-2007, 02:10 PM
Wait, what? Kangaroos are furry and have mammary glands, which makes them mammals. They're marsupial instead of placental (just like opossums) but they're very definitely in class Mammalia.

Also, to whoever said alligators are amphibians, amphibians are creatures who spend part of their life-cycle with gills, breathing underwater, and then develop lungs and breathe air. Alligators are born breathing air, and are therefore reptiles, not amphibians, even though they live in water.

Sorry, botched taxonomy bothers me. I'll get back to work....

Like I said, it was over 20 years ago. I don't think it will be an issue over the next several weeks.

Thanks for the correction. He's actually the one who said they are amphibian. LOL.

JessicaBT
02-21-2007, 02:36 PM
Well, I'm really new here, so I'm not sure I should but in, but true to form, I'm going to anyway.

You know, husbands often start to feel threatened when their wives start to change. Especially for the better. They're afraid you'll become too good for them. They're afraid you'll develope new interests and meet new people who might be more interesting. Some of the husbands who lean more toward abusive and controlling (and wives too, don't get me wrong,) are afraid that if you feel better about yourself and become more confident, they'll lose controll over you, and you might start making your own decisions.
Even mothers, sisters, and usually well meaning best friends will do things like bring over donuts for the first time in their LIVES right after it becomes apparant that you are serious about dieting. Or ciggarettes when you quit. Or take you to a club with a bar when you quit drinking. That sort of thing. Often, they don't even do it on purpose or really know they're doing it. Sometiems they do.
But the goal is to maintain status quo. A best friend who's always been the "skinny one" might be threatened if you were to be skinny too. A best friend who's always been fat WITH you will feel threatened if you start losing weight without her. And men, bless their souls, may think that other men will start to look at you, when they may have felt safe from that before. I don't know your husband, and I don't mean to badmouth him. I just wanted to mention that otherwise nice people do the sabotage thing ALL OF THE TIME. As long as you aren't giving in, and you are going forward anyway, he can whine all he wants. Don't let it make you feel bad. Eventually, like Dr. Phil says, he's going to have to get on board or look pretty silly whining in the corner while you're having a good time. Go ahead and have a good time.

http://www.3fatchicks.net/img/tulip-bar/fireworks01/lb/230/125/230/.png (http://www.3fatchicks.com/weight-tracker/)

Reddalice
02-22-2007, 06:48 AM
men. . .and. . .food. Enough said.

Is that really me
02-22-2007, 01:42 PM
cbmare, you're giving up beef and pork for Lent, which is a great sacrifice. But I am confused. You bought and ate beef filet yesterday, Ash Wednesday? There is no meat allowed on Ash Wednesday or on any Friday during Lent. Why did you choose to eat meat yesterday (I'm assuming you're a practicing Catholic since you are giving up your 4 legged food for Lent). Not trying to give you a hard time; I'm just curious.

Jo

cbmare
02-22-2007, 02:30 PM
cbmare, you're giving up beef and pork for Lent, which is a great sacrifice. But I am confused. You bought and ate beef filet yesterday, Ash Wednesday? There is no meat allowed on Ash Wednesday or on any Friday during Lent. Why did you choose to eat meat yesterday (I'm assuming you're a practicing Catholic since you are giving up your 4 legged food for Lent). Not trying to give you a hard time; I'm just curious.

Jo

Look at the date of my post. I had that on Tuesday.

I'm not Catholic. I observed my first Lent last year as a personal challenge to me. I'm doing it again this year.

Trust me. God and I have some intense discussions during this time. Especially with hot and sour soup. I can't have it this year because it is pork and chicken based. I think I'm going to make some of my own using only chicken.

Is that really me
02-22-2007, 03:01 PM
Hey, thanks for the clarification! I never looked at the time on your other post; I just thought that if it was Ash Wednesday you'd have your excuse not to eat meat so your husband would stop bugging you about it! ;)

Kudos to you for giving up pork and beef. My family would shoot me if I ever suggested for them to try and give it up. They won't touch seafood (except for canned tuna). The kids not wanting to try fish I kind of get; but my husband's excuse? He says he won't eat anything that swims in it's own toilet! :rolleyes: Men can be such wingnuts!

Good luck with your goal!!

Jo

cbmare
02-22-2007, 03:07 PM
Hey, thanks for the clarification! I never looked at the time on your other post; I just thought that if it was Ash Wednesday you'd have your excuse not to eat meat so your husband would stop bugging you about it! ;)

You are quite welcome!

Kudos to you for giving up pork and beef. My family would shoot me if I ever suggested for them to try and give it up. They won't touch seafood (except for canned tuna). The kids not wanting to try fish I kind of get; but my husband's excuse? He says he won't eat anything that swims in it's own toilet! :rolleyes: Men can be such wingnuts!
Boobalah just started eating fish a few years ago. He loves the trout that we catch.

Good luck with your goal!!

Thanks! I can do it. I can do it. I have to keep repeating that.

Jo

It's gonna be a challenge.