Weight Loss Support - Is anyone else annoyed by this? A bit of a rant. . .




LisaMarie71
02-18-2007, 10:45 AM
I'm talking about what I refer to in my mind as "whole foods snobs."

I've posted several times here about how I believe you have to do whatever works for you, and I know everyone agrees with that. I've always believed that, for myself, if I don't allow myself to eat small portions of things that I love (even if they're processed and not the healthiest thing around), I won't stick to my plan. I have all the admiration in the world for people who can switch completely to whole, clean foods and never turn back. I also understand that you start to lose your cravings for processed stuff when you switch over. I've done all the reading, the research, etc. It's not that I'm unaware, and after all I do eat MOSTLY whole foods.

What annoys me is when "whole foods snobs" see me eating something that I've carefully planned into my calorie allowance, like a simple little 100-calorie pack of cookies, and they give me advice about HFCS (as if I've never heard of it) and tell me I shouldn't be eating it. I've lost 71 pounds. Also, I'm not an idiot.

Often, someone will change to a completely "clean" lifestyle and then act utterly disgusted by people who are tempted by "unclean" foods. There's a lot of "Oh, I would NEVER eat that," even from people who are still obese and probably have eaten a LOT of that in the past -- they're just not eating it currently.

I may sound harsh, but really I'm just annoyed by people who are self-righteous and judgmental about someone else's choices, even when those choices are clearly WORKING for that person!!


Obsidianbbw
02-18-2007, 11:01 AM
I have to agree with you. I find it annoying when I see people berate someone for eating a non whole food, ignoring the fact that people need to do what works for them and the bottom line is what works for one person doesn't work for another.

Mami
02-18-2007, 11:03 AM
My personal motto is nothing hurts in moderation. I like to enjoy life so I prefer not to be overly restrictive or disciplined with myself about anything. That's just me. Some people like to be very controlled with themselves and more power to them. However, if I can eat a filling 160 calorie meal, which happens to be a Hebrew National FF hot dog (50 cal) and a (gasp) Wonderbread hot dog roll (110 cal), I'm eatin' it! So I guess I eat like you, usually fairly healthy but never restrictive of any particular food. If I want a cookie I'll eat it, but since I started calorie counting I look up the nutrition info and usually the number of calories in that cookie (esp. those large ones at Subway) makes me easily avoid it next time.

Even so, I've never felt any sort of negative vibe about this from anyone on here, though I dont post the details of what I've eaten (except the Planning thread where intentions are good when posting) unless I'm asking for advice and then I would expect to get a range of opinions on how to correct what I'm seeking advice on. I'll agree with some responses and not with others but I appreciate the different opinions anyway.


lilybelle
02-18-2007, 11:04 AM
Lisa, I hear what you are saying. We should all just pay attention to what is on our own plate. That is one reason that I don't post my Fitday. I keep track of my calories and I do allow myself low-calorie treats at time. We each need to do whatever works for us. An example of this is that since I do have stomach problems and need as much fiber as I can get. I don't eat as much protein as a lot of others do. I'm doing what works for me.

I can sympathize with your frustration. If you think this is bad, you should see some of the responses I got when I first came to 3FC's and unknowingly mentioned in the general thread that I was doing Atkins. (which my doctor had put me on). You'd have thought I was a criminal. I'm not doing Atkins anymore , but that is how I lost over 90 lbs. so it worked for me. If a person wants to eat nothing but whole foods, more power to them. Personally I need what works for me and wouldn't be very good at sticking to that 100% of the time. I found what I know is working for me and I'll stick to it.

Libby1972
02-18-2007, 11:28 AM
I agree and disagree in a sense. Because, while I enjoy foods that are not so good for me in extreme moderation, I really feel that nourishing my body healthfully, should be my primary goal. I don't intentionally eat things I don't enjoy just because they are healthy. I eat things that taste good that are healthy. My problem with processed foods is that I have a high incidence of heart disease and type 2 diabetes in my family. So HFCS and partially and fully hydrogenated oils are not an option for me. The latest research links both of those things to heart disease and diabetes. However, the food industry won't stop adding them to our foods. So, I am a watchdog for things like that for myself and my family. I do give advice against those things, when it's solicited, but I don't go out of my way to badger someone about what they are eating. If someone says, "hey Liz, is this healthy or good for me?". I read the ingredients. If it's not, I'll tell them and I'll tell them why.

Just be well educated in what you are putting in your mouth. If you don't see a problem with it, don't sweat it.

fatburner77
02-18-2007, 11:31 AM
Holy man, am I annoyed by those guys! Their behaviors and attitude remind me a bit of this:

Orthorexia nervosa
Not an official eating disorder diagnosis, but the concept is useful. The name was coined by Steven Bratman, M.D., to describe "a pathological fixation on eating 'proper' or 'pure' or 'superior' food."

People with orthorexia nervosa feel superior to others who eat "improper" food, which might include non-organic or fun foods and items found in regular grocery stores, as opposed to health food stores.

Orthorexics obsess over what to eat, how much to eat, how to prepare food "properly," and where to obtain "pure" and "proper" foods.

Eating the "right" food becomes an important ,or even the primary, focus of life. One's worth or goodness is seen in terms of what one does or does not eat. Personal values, relationships, career goals, and friendships become less important than the quality and timing of what is consumed.

Perhaps related to, or a type of, obsessive-compulsive disorder

Nothing that a bag of Cheetos and a Ho Ho can't fix, though...;)

kaplods
02-18-2007, 11:32 AM
Sometimes it's so funny it's sad. When I was a probation officer, my boss would give me (and everyone else in the office) nutritional advice at the drop of a hat. Everything he said might have been true, but it's hard to take any health advice seriously, when it comes from a chain smoker. I always wanted to say to him, "give up the cancer sticks, and eat a twinkie already" - (I hate twinkies but that's another story).

problysewin
02-18-2007, 11:36 AM
I do know what you mean. One of my dearest friends is that way. I also think some people are not meaning to be that way. When I used to read a lot of diet, wholefoods books or whatever I'd be so paranoid to eat a morsel of anything not organic or wholefoods or whatever the book I was reading at the time said not to eat. I do not read any of these kinds of books anymore because I don't like rules.
Ued to work in a small natural foods store and some of the people were fanatics. I was starting to get that way and it interfered with many other parts of my life like family dinners at the in-laws etc. I hated feeling like I was going to get some terrible disease because I ate something "bad".

Well with that being said I do eat mostly whole foods, but I'll eat other things I like too, like hot dogs with all their nitrates and everything! See I used to think I would instantly get a tumor from them. Is that crazy or what? You have to live life and not worry so much. I have definetly found a balance now over the last 10 years or so and it's a great freedom.

I do have to avoid refined sugars and flour though. I get foggy headed and just can't drop a pound. I also get intense cravings for more. Since I have completely cut them out I feel sooo good. Great energy, mood, no cravings, etc. I would give someone the advice of cutting it out if they were having difficulty controlling cravings, etc. and asked for the advice. I would not tell anyone what they are eating is bad, because if they can handle it, then it is not an issue for them.

No one should make their food issues someone else's.

rockinrobin
02-18-2007, 11:48 AM
I too hear you, LOUD and CLEAR. I live mostly on a whole foods diet. Vegetables just work well for me. They are healthy and I really, really like them and I can eat a large quantity of them. And of course there's the lean proteins like fish and white meat chicken and all the other good whole foods. But I most definitely eat processed food as well and the occasion HCFS. I wouldn't want to eat them all day long, day in, day out, but I, yes I, no one else see NOTHING wrong with them occasionally. Every day now (this wasn't always the case) I eat a sugar free jello pudding and a sugar/fat free Danon yogurt with artifical sweetner in it. Yikes. Bad Robin. Just kidding, I have ZERO guilt about them. ZERO. This might sound dramatic, but with out those 2 items I honestly and truly believe that I would not be sticking with my new lifestyle. I really have no doubt about it in fact. This is what works for ME. Dare I even mention that last week I ate 7 bites of 5 different desserts at a social event. I hadn't a clue to what was in there. Not a clue. I think it is more important for me to lose the weight (and keep it off) then eating an occasional artifical item or a dessert made with white flour and sugar. I also 100% respect those that disagree and definitely see their point. I just wish they would respect my choices and see my point as well.

I really think though no malicious intent is intended. People (myself included) just get so very passionate about "their cause" and want to share it with the world. I am just as passionate about eating the "bad" foods once in awhile as "they" are in NOT.

lilybelle
02-18-2007, 12:02 PM
This is reallly a great thread to think about. I'm guilty of the following sins/pleasures.
1. I eat regular peanut butter
2. I use Splenda in my coffee
3. I buy regular fruits and veggies, not the more expensive organic ones
4. I occasionally have baked cheetos or baked doritos with my tuna sandwich on whole wheat bread for lunch.
5. I drink a diet soda if I want one

But, compared to the fact that before changing my life, these were my sins/pleasures I am doing great:
1. I had 2 sausage,egg, cheese biscuits with hashbrowns and a super-size regular coke most every morning for breakfast
2. Lunch was almost always Pizza (3-4) slices with breadsticks and full-fat ranch dressing, Or Taco Bell Quesadilla with an extra beef and cheese burrito
3. Dinner was usually KFC, a 3 piece fried chicken dinner with Large coke or a whole Family size bucket of chicken nuggets with 2 orders mashed potatoes and gravy.
4. I used to drink a 6 pack per day of Mountain Dew in the 24 oz. bottles
5. I used to eat 2 or 3 candy bars a day.
6. Often had a large ice cream butterfinger blizzard from Sonic as a late night snack.

I've come a long way and I'm proud of how I eat now. It's a far cry from how I used to eat. So even though my eating isn't perfect, it is pretty darn good now.

problysewin
02-18-2007, 12:10 PM
"I think it is more important for me to lose the weight (and keep it off) then eating an occasional artifical item or a dessert made with white flour and sugar." Quote - rockinrobin
I agree with you.

I'm not against anyone else eating white sugar or flour or HFCS or anything else they want to eat. I really don't think anything should be off-limits, unless you personally decide it for yourself or there is a medical issue. I had to stop eating it to get some control and finally start losing some weight. I have things I eat that are "bad", that I won't give up. It's the only way I can stick with for the rest of my life. Thank goodness for stevia because I still like the taste of sweet!

Mami
02-18-2007, 12:20 PM
What forum is this happening in? The Whole Foods forum perhaps? LOL I find the people on 3FC really helpful and knowledgeable and no one has made me feel like they judge me for my choices. I see non-whole foods listed in the Planning thread in the Support forum, and no one comments about other's eating generally. Now then there are the posts about "why am I not getting off this plateau??!!!" or the ever popular "my metabolism must be slow cuz I'm not losing" (I thought that way when I joined 3FC..LOL), and those posts WILL get honest responses from people about why the RESPONDER believes the poster's efforts may be failing. Also those that start off their "diet" (not lifestyle) on that Monday morning (after binging all weekend) with 1 slice of whole wheat toast for breakfast, no butter, a Lean Cuisine for lunch, 2 cookies for a snack, and then a can of soup with 3 lo-fat crackers, most of us get a bit concerned because it is too lo cal and all that processed junk will not nourish that person enough to sustain long term weightloss. People are commenting from experience as many have been down that road a million times and have finally discovered a lifestyle that can be sustained. Perhaps they are excited about finding their "cure" and they want to share it. Not sure anyone claims to be an expert but we're all here to offer our opinions. As for me, the ones who "go overboard" on they're new lifestyle sort of motivate me to at least get nearer to how they're doing things, though I am just not that sort of person to completely deprive myself if I want something or to push myself to work out constantly if I dont feel like it.

nelie
02-18-2007, 12:25 PM
Just this morning, I was thinking about how much my life has changed in the past few years. My weight loss and eating lifestyle has been such a journey. A few years ago, I was plagued with stomach problems, pepto was a staple in my home and almost daily I'd have some stomach "issue". I would always think I had a sensitive stomach or what not. I don't know what "fixed" me but I no longer have stomach issues and I can't say when the last time I had to take stomach medicine.

I have cleaned up my diet incredibly over the past couple years and I'm grateful, beyond weight loss, what it has given me. For me, it has been a very personal journey. So there are things that I say that I don't eat now because I don't. I have some indulgences but they are rare. I know some people say they could never give up this or that and that is fine. For me though, there are things that I am willing to give up because I see no benefit to them.

You, as we all are, are on a personal journey. Some people may give advice because they are grateful for what they have learned on their own personal journey. So, I wouldn't take it to heart, unless someone is decided to critique your fitday journal without your request. There may be controversies that arise as well such as HFCS and partially that has to do with books coming out saying it is "bad" such as "You: On a Diet". Although I think I'm one of the few people that thought that book wasn't all that great especially some of the advice given.

Anyway, I'd say remember to take advice that anyone gives you as just that advice. It isn't a medical opinion, it isn't a doctor's note, it is just someone trying to express their information through their experiences.

Mrs Quadcrew
02-18-2007, 12:30 PM
I agree with Mami ~ I've not seen any "offending" posts - although there are some who ASK for input, and it is given. I think that is one of the great things about this board - the info is there, take it if you choose, if not, move on! I have found nothing but support and good strong information and help here.

NESunshine
02-18-2007, 12:33 PM
I can see what everyone means and I'm feeling lucky that I don't have people who criticize what I eat...mostly of everyone I know I currently eat the healthiest anyway. I agree with doing what works for you. I've lost 31lbs so far by making simple healthy changes and exercising more and that works for me. Truthfully the only thing that I avoid is soy products because I'm at high risk for breast cancer (my mother) and I'm even higher because I've already had cervical cancer. I have normal things like cholesterol, blood pressure, I'm not pre-diabetic. I have switched to a good amount of whole foods, cut out red meat, I don't buy white bread or pasta anymore but that is just a personal choice and it works for me because I enjoy whole grain rice and pasta just as much, if not actually more than I enjoy the other stuff. But I still occasionally use splenda, I drink diet coke, if I eat out I try my best to keep it healthy but I'd be a liar if I didn't say that I had a couple of french fries last week... In comparison though to my lifestyle just a few months ago... bacon egg and cheese sandwiches or bagels with cream cheese every day, full fat double lattes, burritos, massive amounts of chinese takeout, or any other takeout for that matter...well its very different.

The way i look at it, I was I smoker since the age of 12...yes thats right, 12, which means that at age 26 i have done 14 years worth of smoking damage to my body. I hopped on the get healthy wagon at a point when I was about 4 steps short of full blown alcoholic and I lived off of nothing but cigarettes, alcohol and massive amounts of takeout every single day. oh...and I was sedentary. When I think about that, then I'm not gonna sweat an occasional dinner out or diet coke.

I think everyone should do what works for them. When I post I welcome everyones angles and advice on what has worked for them because you never know when you'll get some advice that will fit into a plan for you. Everyone is different, our medical present and pasts, our family history, our bodies are all different and no one thing is right and no one thing is wrong, its all about a lifestyle that you are comfortable with that is sustainable for you.:D

rockinrobin
02-18-2007, 12:38 PM
Lilybelle I feel the same exact way as you (which doesn't surprise me). I am so proud of my food choices, I have come a loooong way and I wouldn't change one little thing that I am doing now. Of course I always reserve the right to change it up a bit if I find it is no longer working for me. Do I think that the artificial stuff should be kept to a minimum? Yup. Am I perfect? Of course not. But I don't HAVE to be.

Spinymouse
02-18-2007, 01:08 PM
I agree that the bashing of anyone's food choices is inappropriate and just plain rude. And hey - I drink evil tap water!! I sometimes have a hard time with a friend whom I consider a "water snob!" I do drink bottled water when I buy some to take with me somewhere but not to keep in the house when there is a faucet right there.
If I were to bash something, it would not be the eater but something much bigger than that, a socio-economic precedent that I often wonder about: how did white bread and white rice get to be the "default" settings for food choices when you go to a restaurant or convenience store... how did chicken nuggets and french fries and corn dogs become the "default" selections on kids menus.... that kind of thing. It just baffles me. But I have no right to bash anyone for their individual choices as to what to consume.
jo

JukieF
02-18-2007, 01:28 PM
I think that whatever works for you is the thing you should do. I tried Atkins and couldn't lose weight on it, and I had a hard time sticking to it. I've tried WW and The Zone... You name it. I finally found something that's working, and it just happens to be a vegan diet. But I would never make comments to anyone about their choices. We all have to find the program that works for us. And anyone who's lost 70 pounds obviously knows what she's doing!!!

My best friend has eaten an Atkins-style diet for many years, and it works for her. It's pretty funny when we go out to eat together now. :-)

My biggest concern is the excessive history of heart disease in my family, and that's why I chose a diet that avoids meat and dairy and focuses on whole grains and legumes. But that's just my family. My husband's family, for instance, has no history of heart disease on either side, and they all live into their 90s. So he doesn't have the same concerns I do.

The biggest thing, I think, is finding something you can stick with. No matter what type of diet it is, what good is it if you can't stay on it? You shouldn't have to defend the way you eat, epecially when you're so successful. You're to be congratulated!! I'm in awe of you, LisaMarie. I hope the day comes when *I* can say I've lost 71 pounds!

LLV
02-18-2007, 01:29 PM
This is reallly a great thread to think about. I'm guilty of the following sins/pleasures.
1. I eat regular peanut butter
2. I use Splenda in my coffee
3. I buy regular fruits and veggies, not the more expensive organic ones
4. I occasionally have baked cheetos or baked doritos with my tuna sandwich on whole wheat bread for lunch.
5. I drink a diet soda if I want one

But, compared to the fact that before changing my life, these were my sins/pleasures I am doing great:
1. I had 2 sausage,egg, cheese biscuits with hashbrowns and a super-size regular coke most every morning for breakfast
2. Lunch was almost always Pizza (3-4) slices with breadsticks and full-fat ranch dressing, Or Taco Bell Quesadilla with an extra beef and cheese burrito
3. Dinner was usually KFC, a 3 piece fried chicken dinner with Large coke or a whole Family size bucket of chicken nuggets with 2 orders mashed potatoes and gravy.
4. I used to drink a 6 pack per day of Mountain Dew in the 24 oz. bottles
5. I used to eat 2 or 3 candy bars a day.
6. Often had a large ice cream butterfinger blizzard from Sonic as a late night snack.

I've come a long way and I'm proud of how I eat now. It's a far cry from how I used to eat. So even though my eating isn't perfect, it is pretty darn good now.

Wow, what wonderful changes! And reading your post was like looking into a mirror. I used to eat like that too. I never ate breakfast (I still rarely do, I'm just not hungry in the morning) but for lunch I'd have a Big Mac, a large fry and chicken nuggets. If we ordered pizza, I wanted a medium to myself and would usually eat all or most of it. My biggest addiction was big bowls of pasta covered in some type of cream sauce. And fried foods. Batter it and fry it and I'd eat it.

As for the original topic, I wouldn't be bothered by what others say. Just do what's best for you and to heck with the rest of it.

Obsidianbbw
02-18-2007, 01:38 PM
I don't think anyone is trying to bash someone else...I think it is just how it comes out and being passionate about something can color intent.

There have been a number of time I have seen someone post

I ate <xyz> and I feel horrible. Please help me get over this and keep going.
or

As part of my plan which work fine for me I am eating <xyz>.


People may reply with

OH MY GOODness you can never eat <xyz> again...did you know it has <abc> in it? They have done a billion studies on <abc> and it can lead to <insert horrible thing here> I never eat anything with <abc> in it. I have lost (insert lbs here) and I perfectly fine never eating <xyz> and you should be too.

When really they mean.

Have you thought about trying an alternative to <xyz>? I know it tastes good, but it has <abc> in it which isn't so great for you. I try and stay away from <xyz> and that has helped me in my journey. Either way, good luck with your journey and remember to do what works for you.

Also it bothers me when someone posts about something and people reply with unsolicited advice about what they are doing wrong? Did I ask you that? When in my post about basket weaving did I mention I wanted advice about how horrible I am eating?

Ok, I am being a little extreme here, but you get the idea.

-Obie, sometimes feeling like sometimes there is nothing but space and opportunity.

Heather
02-18-2007, 01:42 PM
Like Lily, Nelie, Linda and others, my food choices have really improved since I started this personal journey (great way to see it, Nelie). I don't always make great choices. In fact, many of my daily choices aren't really ideal. But compared to before... such a difference!

I also see how these better choices translates not only into weight loss, but also into better health and energy for me. Not only that, but I also love the food I'm eating. Sometimes wish I made more of these better choices. Maybe I will over time, maybe not.

Heather
02-18-2007, 01:44 PM
Obie -- I had to laugh at your description and think you're so right that people often mean something different than they say. And this medium of communication isn't the easiest to really get the intent of sometimes. Smilies can help interpret a person's intentions :) but there's still a lot of miscommunication!

FreeSpirit
02-18-2007, 04:34 PM
Yeah, it is really rude and annoying.

Looking at this from the other side of the fence, though... for some people it's the "all or nothing" mentality. While they have no right to tell you what you should and what you shouldn't be eating (way to go on 71 lbs, btw!!) I think it may just be easier for them to put bad foods on the same "level" as drugs, kind of. They're bad, and them as well as everyone need to just stay away from them!

kaplods
02-18-2007, 05:06 PM
I think it has finally truly sunk in that the "all or nothing" mentality has largely contributed to my obesity. When I couldn't be "good," I would either stop trying or worse, decide to be "really bad" one "last" time before trying to be "good" again.

Mami
02-18-2007, 05:26 PM
Also it bothers me when someone posts about something and people reply with unsolicited advice about what they are doing wrong? Did I ask you that? When in my post about basket weaving did I mention I wanted advice about how horrible I am eating?


I dont think its the posts about basket weaving that get that response, its the ones that complain (and in some cases whine) about being overweight, having a "slow metabolism", being addicted to sugar and binging, or not being able to keep the weight off. In those instances, IMHO its perfectly appropriate for people to comment on things they glean from the post that the poster may be doing to sabotage their weightloss goals. I think people are just trying to be helpful, and we certainly dont have to agree with everything every single respondent comes back with. I just think people should consider seeing a response to a post in a positive rather than negative light when it could just as easily be viewed from the opposite viewpoint (e.g. criticizing vs. wanting to help). IMO, people on 3FC generally mean well.

lilybelle
02-18-2007, 06:05 PM
kaplods, I agree completely. The "all or nothing" attitude made me even fatter. I even had Dr.'s that made me feel that the only way to lose weight was to live on baked chicken breast, salad, fruit and brocolli every day. I have to feel like my food choices are ones that I can live with everyday to continue my journey.

I agree also with the posters that say "I don't think anyone is trying to be rude or hurtful". I think every one of us is passionate about this journey and we try to help each other out. No two of us eat the exact same. We all have personal preferences and can respect each others journey.

wyllen, exactly. At least now I look at the food labels and see what I put in my mouth. Before, I was oblivious. Even on my very worst day, I eat much better than I did before. If I have a severe craving for a cookie, I read the label and decide I'd rather have a 90 calorie Rice Krispie treat bar compared to a 200 calorie chocolate chip cookie. Even small changes like this really add up over time.

JayEll
02-18-2007, 06:05 PM
There is so much conflicting information if you really get looking into it, that we wouldn't be able to eat anything if we tried to follow it all. No red meat! Oh no no no! And not too much fish because of mercury... and not too much carbohydrate... unless it's whole wheat pasta, which frankly tastes like cardboard to me ;) ... And absolutely no margarine, but no butter, either... and never any refined sugar... heavens, no... and watch out for spinach and salads in bags... And don't eat soy because it might have estrogen-like effects... eggs have cholesterol... and mustn't have too much salt... and caffeine is bad for you, except when it isn't... And don't eat frozen dinners, they aren't good... heavens, no fast foods ever! and no olives, good grief!!! and only free-range chicken... Well, you get the idea. (and probably got it long ago!) :lol:

Let's all try to do the best we can, and not judge what others are doing. Wouldn't that be lovely?

Jay

bargoo
02-18-2007, 06:17 PM
OK, I sometimes eat Cool Whip,I admit it, please don't tell the Food Police.

problysewin
02-18-2007, 06:20 PM
JayEll - I really liked your post!

lilybelle
02-18-2007, 06:28 PM
JayE, I like your post too. I don't have the desire to stress out over every little thing. I'm happy enough to know how much calories and fat I am getting. Besides, I am blind as a bat and couldn't possibly read all that tiny info. on the food packages. It takes me long enough to grocery shop as it is.

LLV
02-18-2007, 09:09 PM
OK, I sometimes eat Cool Whip,I admit it, please don't tell the Food Police.

:fr:

I, for one, am shocked! To the dungeon with you!

Heck, I tip the cans of Reddi-Whip when no one is looking and spray a big shot of it into my mouth, lol!

:o shhhhhh! don't tell anyone!

I agree with the others that I don't really think people (whether it be here or anywhere) are meaning to offend when they offer advice. I mean, let's face it, when we're trying to lose weight, we're going to be very defensive and take things the wrong way. I know I did. Like now if someone would say to me perhaps one slice of cake instead of two would be better, I would probably say, "Yes, you're right, what was I thinking?"

2 years ago if someone had said that to me I would have gone on the defensive and would have taken it personally - "What, are you trying to say I'm FAT???? It's only 2 slices of cake! It's not like I'm eating the entire thing!"

See the difference?

Now, I HAVE seen a couple of posters here in the past that flat out said things like, "I can't believe you guys eat that junk! Do you know how bad that is for you? I wouldn't touch it with a 10-foot pole, but if you want to polute your bodies, that's your business."

And that's a given. Just about anywhere you go you're going to find that. But I haven't seen it in a long time and for the most part I believe people here are wanting to help each other. It's just sometimes we have days where we take it the wrong way. I know I sure have.

LisaMarie71
02-18-2007, 09:38 PM
Lots of great responses here. I just want to clarify that I wasn't actually talking about 3FC posters when I wrote the original post. Someone asked which forum it was happening in, and it's not...I was referring more to real life. And of course I know that people sometimes have good intentions when they offer advice, but that's not the people I'm talking about. I'm talking about the people who CLEARLY feel superior to you if they eat strictly whole foods. Surely you guys know that such people exist. I'm not talking about helpful advice givers -- I think I'm intelligent enough to know the difference.

What I love about this site is that we usually DON'T get that kind of crap here. Sure, there's the occasional "Oh, I would NEVER eat that" response on a thread, which smells a little like whole foods snobbery, but for the most part we're all really supportive of everyone's efforts. That's why so many of us are seeing success, with all our different plans, and enjoying it along the way!

Learning2LuvMe
02-18-2007, 11:12 PM
I think anyime ANYONE thinks they can tell you what to eat they are full of it. We have enough internal judging going on we do not need it from anyone else. - Eileen

MicheleKC
02-18-2007, 11:34 PM
I don't know anyone who eats just whole foods. If it weren't for the frozen entree section in the grocery store, I would have had a more difficult time cutting out the fast food. As long as I watch my sodium intake, I have the Lean Cuisines, Healthy Choice, etc. and my M.D. said they were fine.

Also, when eating just 1200 to 1500 calories a day, like I do, I have to make sure that those calories are packed with enough nutrional power to sustain me until the next time I'm hungry to eat.

For me, if I substitute an order of french fries or a bag of chips for a salad or steamed veggies, that means I don't feel as energetic or as full later as I normally would. That's why the 100 calorie snack cookies wouldn't work for me.

I do occassionally enjoy the 100 calories 94% fat free microwave popcorn. I crave carbs more than I crave sugar.

Whatever works for you. I wouldn't tell someone else to deprive themselves if that's what works for them.

ItsAboutTime
02-19-2007, 01:15 AM
I was just telling my husband that I can't, yeah that's right can't, stop eating everything I'm eating now. What I am going to do to begin with is start eating breakfast (I never do now), eat something good for me at lunch, and then eat whatever I normally would with my family at night but just eat less of it. It may not seem like the right thing to do but it's what's right for me right now.

fiddler
02-19-2007, 02:37 AM
I think it's generally pretty annoying when someone in real life proselytizes about their food choices, whether it's whole foods or something else.

aphil
02-19-2007, 09:11 AM
My 2 cents...

For the most part, I don't think that there are that many true "clean eating" braggarts here at 3FC. I really don't. There are always going to be a few...but that is the case with anything, anywhere.

But-here are something as a mod that I run into:

~Someone who has lost a few pounds, but have plateaued-and are ranting and complaining and agonizing over it in various threads. Others want to help, and check into their FitDay account. The person IS eating lower calorie...but they are eating a lot of refined foods, sugary foods, etc. and have not ramped up their exercise in months. Others then offer advice...and sometimes the person doesn't really want to "hear" it. :)

There is a difference between having a fat free pudding, or a 100 calorie pack twice a week-or having a fat free pudding, a 100 calorie pack, and a beer all in the SAME day. That, to me, isn't moderation. If someone is on a 1200 calorie plan, they just had about 1/4 of their diet (300 calories) in "junk".

Moderation is okay...but with some dieters, it "isn't" moderation.




There are also personal choices that slowly happen over time-as nelie talked about. Different goals. These often change from the time that we start losing weight as we progress or start to maintain. Some have goals of simply being a certain weight or size...and that is it.

Many of us, though, have goals of continually getting fitter and healthier-and that also includes slowly omitting refined foods...quitting smoking...choosing to only drink wine on occasion if we drink alcohol because of its health benefits...choosing to only have a small piece of semisweet or bittersweet chocolate, rather than milk, if we do choose to have some (for the antioxidant punch)...choosing maybe to become a vegetarian, or omitting beef from our diets...choosing to eat organics, not only because of our health-but for the environment as well...there are SOOOO many things that evolve for many of us here over time.

It isn't just with food-it is also with fitness. Some choose to only walk for exercise, or do Curves, and that is just fine. But, others get more motivated, and end up running marathons, or competing in bodybuilding competitions, or end up being aerobics instructors, personal trainers, or something similar. (When I was 21 and partying, I never thought that 10 years later I would be a dance teacher, and would only drink wine.)

It is a personal journey for all of us, and we are all in different places, and will all end up in different places.
I guess you just have to stop taking things personally. I don't get offended when I am at a dance conference and half of them are vegetarians (I am not)...they don't eat meat, are proud of it...and I can eat beef.

I just prefer it to be a brand that doesn't use antibiotics and growth hormones. :rofl:

We are all different. :D

Mami
02-19-2007, 09:24 AM
LisaMarie, I think the fact that you are down SEVENTY WHOLE POUNDS (Yay!!), no one should be telling you a thing!

At the risk of getting everyone on here pissed at me (but please hear my point before getting upset), there are people out there in the world who CLEARLY need either some help, encouragement or a plain reality check about their weight and food choices (maybe this should be reserved for someone close to you). If someone who is close to you is on drugs, wouldnt we all chime in about them quitting? Well how is that different from a person who is *significantly* obese eating chips and fast food etc. Isn't there something to be said about people who try to offer encouragement or advice or to have the *you know whats* to risk that person getting mad at them to try to discuss their weight issues? Not sure why people are so offended by this. It is very hard on a person to carry all that weight, as many of you know and sometimes you want to just get someone to start fighting that weight. While many obese people know everything there is to know about healthy food, according to the posters on 3FC many arrived at that weight simply because they are in denial and/or know nothing about nutrition. These types could possibly use some advice. Just TRY to at least determine where the "advice-giver" is coming from when offering up their unsolicited advice :) Hey, they might actually tell you something worthwhile and to me it shows they care.