Weight Loss Support - Stupid insecurities still sticking around...
02-14-2007, 09:21 PM
So today was a wonderful valentines day, I spent all day in bed with the new boyfriend (as of today officially using the word, it feels weird to say it!). By every reasonable standard, things are great. We're moving slow physically (minus the sleeping in the same bed thing... look, for me, its progress), he seems to really like me... but I'm still so stressed about my body, even though I think I'm at the end of my weight loss - I was looking to lose 10 more but every time I dip below my current weight it all goes from my chest and i HATE feeling saggy. In fact, when I said to him that I wanted to lose ten more, he was shocked. I guess I'm trying to figure out how much of my stress is normal insecurity and how much is about the weight loss - I don't remember feeling so uselessly insecure with other guys, although to be fair its been a few years. I'm just about OK with him touching my belly but I'm constantly checking my posture, sucking in... I don't know. Its so hard to feel pretty after not feeling pretty for so long. I guess I'm just feeling like a stupid little girl, and its hard because I do like him a lot and don't want to CREATE problems. I guess I just need to hear from some other women, I REALLY need a big hug but no one is around.
02-14-2007, 10:46 PM
I think it's normal. I'm not there yet, but I'm battling it too. I think anyone who is use to being fat struggles mentally and emotionally with NOT being fat or as fat. I revel in each inch and pound lost and make sure I point out areas that are getting smaller to my SO, but I'm still bummed about the flabby, saggy stuff. It just looks BLECH in my book. Almost like it was sexier when it was full`o`fat. I think the mental/emotional stuff takes alot more time to come around. I honestly do. I still *see* myself as 289 pounds, even though I was pregnant at that weight, my normal weight was in the 250 range, I still see that. When I grab clothes to try on, I grab 22/24 sizes, Matt grabs a size 18. I'm convinced they won't fit and amazingly, once we're in the dressing room, they do. He sees me as I am, I see me as I was. It's a battle to begin to see ourselves as others do. Take some recent pictures of yourself, compare them to older more heavy pictures of yourself. I find that helps, ALOT. Of course, I look at them alot, everytime I feel like I'm still that fat<ter> person, I open up my picture file and spend some time ogling the newer, thinner me against the heavier me. It helps that others comment on my weight loss etc, but until I start to believe it, my brain can't, yanno?
02-15-2007, 08:36 AM
Have you tried adding more exercise and weights? I know that it has helped my body A LOT! Try pushups for increasing your pecs which will keep your chest size where you like it. Yoga has helped with balance, and my recent workouts using my exercise ball are helping with abs when nothing else seemed to work for me.
Exercise also makes me feel good mentally and emotionally. I hear that exercise actually increases the amount of endorphins (feel-good chemicals) that the body produces!
I also checked out your FitDay entries. You may want to add vegetables and fruit to your diet. Fast foods can make you feel sluggish and bloated. Try more protein.
Be confident and look at all your successes so far. I would be THRILLED to weigh what you do RIGHT NOW! You can do this!
I've also had that problem in the past, where I regularly used to range from size 6 to 12. At the time I would still consider myself heavy in the size 6, which I now see is totally ridiculous and something I will NEVER EVER do again once I lose this weight. You sound very slim now, but if you haven't been lifting weights you could be feeling flabby. Muscles add a lot of sex appeal as they tend to add in the areas we might want like the boobs and butt, but it is FIRM not flabby so it looks hot. Even the hips get a muscle that you can tell feels really good to the guy when he's touching you. When I was working out regularly, even when I felt kinda large in my size sixes, I must admit I still felt sexy because I knew I was toned.