Weight Loss Support - Fat fascism




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sarah1980
02-10-2007, 04:17 PM
Hi,

Why is it assumed that fat people are slobs and unattractive?

I am very sure that I get treated very differently because I am larger, especially when I go shopping.

My hubbie has always been really supportive, but my in-laws drive me nuts with their attitude, almost as if I am some sort of slob.

In general, I thik this attitude is really prevalent in society (especially UK) and its almost criminal to be fat.

Ok, Im off to the movies. :)

S


shelby897
02-10-2007, 04:43 PM
Have you ever seen any of the specials where they have the same person go places -- thin and then in a "fat suit" and it's amazing the difference in how they are treated. They've even done some where someones car breaks down and the "model" gets tons of people to stop, but when she puts the "fat suit" on, no one will stop. It's really pretty sad to judge people on their outward appearance.

sakuya3834
02-10-2007, 04:59 PM
I am shocked and appalled EVERY DAY at how differently I am treated now that I am thin than when I was fat. It makes me sad.


FullSteamAhead
02-10-2007, 05:24 PM
Hi Sara,
I agree about the prevalence in our society today, UK and elsewhere! THe following statements I make are of course based on my own beliefs and opinion based on current knowledge I have gained thus far (both external and internal).

I have been on both sides of the coin, nice figure and fit and overweight! I had and have to deal with things on either end and so that is why I feel it is so important that we must be secure with and in ourselves, love ourselves and believe in ourselves and even if we are not so happy with the current situation to have a belief and good attitude while reaching our goal, whilst in the meantime, remembering the beautiful and positive things about ourselves along the way (internally, etc. )

I do not consider myself a follower, never have! THank goodness for that! I think being a bit of a noncormfist in subtle ways is a good thing in certain avenues or respects. For example; society's beliefs, views and expectations regarding beauty! It changesssssssss! In the days of mariyln monroe, to be curvy and have an hourglass figure was in! THen, we hit the waiff look! To be pencil skinny! We are bombarded by what is acceppted, via t.v, magazines, you name it! What is scariest about this is how not only it influences our psyche, but that of our young people, children and teens! A search for identity is in place, and voila, roll models! It just recently came to my attention thatn ow underweight models are banned from performing or being acceppted. Eating disorders went up during the super thin skinny society promoting days, correct me If I am wrong.

Societal expectations or demands surely have a huge impact and as much as I hate to say it (and hate it) stereotypes have been and are a stronghold universally...only difference is they vary a bit from culture to culture, etc.
I honestly never felt the need to be super thin, even when it was in, I just always wanted and wantthe best I can be! for me! where i feel comfortable and happy with myself and am content with it! Personally, I think curves are sexy! :) same thing with fashions or fads of this sort, oh bell bottoms are in then out, this is in and out! please people, I wear what looks best on me!!!!!! I dont care if its in or out, if i feel good and happy how i look, thats what counts!

Sara, I don't know exaactly what is being said to you by your in-laws to have prompted you to post or walk away from the situation not so feeling good, but dont let anyone or anything get you down! I don't know your situation, but I think that people, even close ones, can sometimes say things that have a negative impact without realizing it or just dont understand.
Pay no attention Sara, fight it! and fight it like the dickens!

As for your comment of societal view about overweight persons as being slobs, etc. , not just in the U.K, but from my personal experience seems to be more of a prevalent view in all of europe! The other one is, (a very stereotypical and common belief here and elsewhere) no willpower! ohhhhhhh, that makes me mad! All of my life, I always beleived in my strong willpower. One day, long ago, (after i had put on weight) a woman freind of mine happened to utter the words, "no willpower" boy did I get mad! yes i have willpower, and strong willpower, once I set my mind to it I can do anything! hmmm, it's no wonder I have gone from being an extremely social person with tons of friends to basically a hermit, very weary and picky of who I surround myself with!

To get to the punchline,,,,,,, don't let anyone get you down, absolutely do not stand for negative comments like that! Don't let anyone bring you down or make you feel bad about yourself! what do they know? think about it? You know yourself better than anyone! introspect, analyze, introspect! well ok, i guess that's it for now, you struck a chord in me and I get passionate about such things, which is good because i can fuel or channel it......hope you had a great night at the movies :) do let us know if it was good and or if you have any recommendations.

almostheaven
02-10-2007, 05:31 PM
While people do get treated differently based on outward appearances, I've also noticed that we often treat ourselves differently as well. I was just thinking about my daughter the other day. She used to color and perm her hair and wear makeup. Since she's put on weight, she doesn't do that anymore. She keeps her hair in a ponytail, wears no makeup, tries to make herself look unattractive. And I remembered...I used to do that. I wore a ponytail more often than not. I wore frumpy clothes. My daughter favors sweats. :(

FullSteamAhead
02-10-2007, 06:02 PM
heaven, I just saw your post. You feel responsible in some way for your daughters current behavior? OH my goodness, and, or if, you have placed a lot of emphasis on apperance, not to late to change. I don't know how old your daughter is, though I am assuming she is young. Don't you worry, t hey change!
I agree what you said about changing intrenally yet I am in a whole different ball park game. Not a kid anymore! I am a grown woman! My folks, as beautiful as they are, back in my heydey appearance was a big thing in my family! Let me put it this way, a lot of emphasis was placed on my appearence. I had a certain appearance for some time and when it began to change I dont think they quite adjusted or they had some difficulty. THey just were not used to seeing their once beautiful daughter overweight!!!!! and I got those feelings through unconscious behaviors and remarks on their side, not to mention those of others surrounding me! My parents, I love to them to no end, they are super! Needless to say, not so long ago they saw how i got ( like not wanting to go out because i put on weight or didnt look perfect, etc.) and one day my mom actually apologized! she said honey, im sorry, i think maybe i made you like this! THey felt just awful when i wouldnt even go to visit! we are not perfect, we learn from each other! As for you daughter, i dont know her age but at a young age particularly, we go through phases! for me, it only stands to reason that i was not taking as good care of myself (when i felt down) as i normally do! the best advice i can offer is, don't emphasize it! If i had a pimple on my face, my parents used to point at it and say, whats that? quizically? lol come on now! focus on the positive and build on that! maybe a new dance or spring shopping trip together? I have worked with many children and a wise woman once told me, even to focus on the positives too much is an over emphasis on appearance! A simple compliment will do. HOw true that was!

almostheaven
02-10-2007, 06:51 PM
Oh, I don't feel responsible. In a way I'm responsible for how she now views food because of how I was raised to view it. But the behavior is something I've noticed that most overweight people take to. It's like...you reach a certain weight, you start feeling unattractive and so you start behaving unattractive. That weight might be different for everyone. But at some point, I've noticed that most overweight people let themselves "completely" go, and not just in the weight department. I think when I was overweight that I was subconciously thinking what's the use or something along those lines, so I didn't even bother taking the time to try and "pretty up."

Gamerchick
02-10-2007, 07:04 PM
I believe people treat you differently depending on your weight...because more people came up to talk to me when I was 160, and wanted to hug on me...

But in the end, I know we treat ourselves differently because of our weight, too. And people also treat girls who are too skinny differently, as well.

But then, I find the people who outwardly say to people, "You treat me like this because I'm fat..." just as annoying as, "You treat me like this because I'm black."

I mean...I am now accepting my body, and am not going to make other people uncomfortable because I am bigger. I have a bunch of nice friends at school who care about me, even skinny friends. They don't care about my size, but that DO get annoyed when I'm all depressed over it.

And everyone who says, "If you're so unhappy about it, change it!" But it's for you.

Let the people who want to be disgusted and rude be disgusted. It's for you anyways. And we can't change it. Sure, it's wrong. But racism still exists. All those things still exist. I mean, at least our size is changeable. I find worrying over other people's actions makes me miserable.

I'd rather not worry about it and worry about my own health and size and what *I* think is my good size.

srqmomof2
02-10-2007, 08:35 PM
Oh, I don't feel responsible. In a way I'm responsible for how she now views food because of how I was raised to view it. But the behavior is something I've noticed that most overweight people take to. It's like...you reach a certain weight, you start feeling unattractive and so you start behaving unattractive. That weight might be different for everyone. But at some point, I've noticed that most overweight people let themselves "completely" go, and not just in the weight department. I think when I was overweight that I was subconciously thinking what's the use or something along those lines, so I didn't even bother taking the time to try and "pretty up."

I agree with you here. I gained a lot of weight during the past 10 years, went from a size 5 when I married in '97 to a size 18 now. I had very low self esteem to begin with, but with the weight it just got worst. Eventually I stopped buying pretty clothes for myself, mostly because I was embarrassed at the stores, so I wore jeans and sweats. I stopped wearing makeup because I thought, what's the point? I'm fat and ugly anyway. It's like I was waiting to lose the weight and be within the society guidelines to make myself look pretty again, otherwise it would be a waste of time. I know how silly it sounds but it made sense in my mind...sometimes it still does. I'm working on it though, not just the weight but trying to look and feel prettier every day.

Gamerchick
02-10-2007, 09:02 PM
I got really depressed when I was 250...but I had been for a long time. I stopped brushing my hair, brushing my teeth...but when I got thinner I started brushing my teeth to fix what I did, brushing my hair, and trying out makeup. I still don't like makeup...I don't think I'll ever wear it. But I was cutting my own hair and buying more impressive clothes.

LakeGirl
02-10-2007, 09:15 PM
Great topic, girls!

I have always had weight issues since I was a kid and even when I gained more and more weight over the years, I have always continued to wear makeup and do my hair. But I don't think it is because I feel confident or comfortable in my own skin. I think I do it as a way of "making up" for what the rest of me looks like.

ennay
02-10-2007, 09:16 PM
I agree - fatism is the only socially "acceptable" discrimination. If people were to behave towards people of color the way they behave towards the obese they would be shunned, fired and sued.

I also agree on the taking care of self. I think the first step for me is dressing crappy because I dont want to spend money on clothes that size. So I will live in one pair of jeans and wear them too tight or too loose. Then it degrades to - why bother with the rest of my appearance when my clothes look like crud. etc.

WindyCityChick
02-10-2007, 10:04 PM
Interesting topic. I do believe that there is a different standard of treatment for overweight people. And not all overweight people let themselves go, I have known some plus size ladies who really do present a great image of themselves. But for me, while I don't think I was a total slob, I know that the more overweight I got, the less care for my appearance I took. It was all subconscious, but looking back on it now, I realize that I let too long go between haircuts, I didn't really take the care with my make up that I do now, I didn't work hard to find clothes that were flattering to my body type. All part of the negative image I had for myself.

willmakeit
02-10-2007, 10:07 PM
Hi sarah...you are absolutely right...overweight people are indeed treated differently and discriminated against... Its in America/Europe/Australia/Asia every where!!!

Now when you complain about this...people will tell YOU to change and be positive or ignore others blah blah! But is that the correct answer? I do not think so!!! (Its like telling disabled to ignore or be postive rather than fight discrimination...how fair is that?) I wish all overweight people stand up for it rather than just suffer/ignore this fact! Most overweight people will not be able to maintain weightloss all their life (proven stats) and further more obesity is going to increase and more and more of our kids will suffer from this.

Its proven in studies that:

1. Academic and professional success is more likely if you are better looking (even if you had similar qualifications).
2. Thin people tend to break traffic rules more often than overweight people but thin people are more likely to be forgiven by the traffic police.
3. Look at Miss USA (Tara Conner)...She got a second chance merely for her looks (there were thousands of other women who were probably rejected/disqualified in the first round because they were a lb or 2 overweight or an inch or 2 shorter...they never got a second chance)!

I have had issues with my inlaws as well (honestly, i can never respect them as much as I would hve otherwise now)! People who havent been through this struggle will NEVER UNDERSTAND!!!

samanthaf63
02-10-2007, 10:54 PM
There was (is? I don't even want to know) a popular Chicago d.j. who loved to lambast people on the radio. He would take ignorant callers to task over racist issues, picking on the mentally and physically handicapped, even sexist issues. But, boy, did he LOVE to pick on fat folks (and considering he was chubby in his 20s, I do not foresee a thin future for him by the time he hits his 40s).

I am most particular about my appearance, whether I weigh 250 or 150. I am careful about my makeup, my clothing, my hair, my perfume. I work for a Fortune 100 company and travel under my company's name constantly, so it is important to me that I always look good, even on travel day.

And yet I am treated like the bubonic plague because I am fat. Once the customers get a chance to know me and talk to me, I can visibly see them warm to me and grow to appreciate me and my skills as well as my personality. but it can be pretty hard during those first couple of weeks.

Sassy_Chick
02-10-2007, 11:18 PM
Hi all,

Boy can I relate to a lot of this! I can relate to getting treated differently because of my weight, I too have been on both sides, not extremely skinny, but I did lose weight and now I'm heavy, boy what a difference in how people treat you!

I too can relate to heaven's daughter, as I do that. I work nights and don't see much of anybody, so I never wear make-up or do my hair and I can wear pretty much whatever since I work nights, as long as its clean and neat.

I used to never leave the house unless I had my hair and makeup fixed! I wouldn't even go out to get the mail without it! I remember ONCE I did and I RAN to the mailbox and back! Now I could care less. It started after I got married and for a few years I was a housewife, so I hardly went anywhere, and I just began to think, "why bother with hair/make-up if I don't go anywhere." And that is where it snowballed and now I still do it. Even if I do buy new clothes that are less "frumpy" I either don't wear them or wear them once and that is it.

Anyways, :hug: to everybody!

shelby897
02-11-2007, 12:02 AM
Sassy chick -- sounds like me -- I'm a stay at home mom who works part-time (at home). I've just recently set a rule that I'm not allowed to leave the house in sweat pants unless I'm going to the gym!! My poor husband comes home from work and I'm usually in shorts and a T-shirt. I've been thin and great looking to my current "overweight and don't seem to care" status. Definitely treated differently -- more attention and much more courteous attention when I was thin. Add, I had the same money, need for service both ways. I have to admit when I was thin my hair was always done, makeup on and clothes nice. So I guess I could blame some of the lack of respect from others on myself -- you get what you give -- if you try to be invisible, clerks, fellow employees, etc. will begin to treat you that way. Now that I am older and wiser (I hope), I will remember all of this when I am thin again and not take it for granted. I wish it worked both ways and everyone was treated equal and fairly, but it just doesn't work that way. However, having been on both ends of the deal -- I hope to always remember how it feels to be ignored by clerks and treated poorly in general and will make an extra effort to help everyone around me out.

kaplods
02-11-2007, 12:21 AM
The "at least we can change it," attitude really offends me. Firstly, for some people it would be easier to change the appearance of their race than their weight. It is often extremely difficult, if not impossible, and at what point does social acceptability become mandatory? Since it is now possible to "fix" ugly noses, chins... should we expect people to? At what weight are we "allowed" to demand decent treatment? Should ethnic people who can "pass," be expected to?

People treat you to a large extent according to how you and others in the environment them allow them to. When and where it is "ok" to bash people in any group, it will happen. You're not likely to find "gay bashing," in a gay bar, in Los Angeles especially one with a 275 lb, 6'6" bouncer.

The problem with allowing anyone to treat you (or anyone else in your presence) disrespectfully is that it sends the message loud and clear that it is ok, and even justified.

I get so angry at any acceptance or even resignation at fat-bashing, because it makes healthy behaviors that much harder, and unhealthy habits that much easier as we isolate ourselves and fail to take care of ourselves "because we don't deserve" better.

JayEll
02-11-2007, 07:18 AM
Biases against race, against fat, against handicapped, against WOMEN (yes) all seem to be rooted in some tendency of the human race to want to feel superior to someone else, and also to fear someone who is "different." If we could all really believe that every human being is precious, and see that precious humanity in their eyes, think how the world would change!

If we could further see that precious light in the eyes of the animals in our world, think how the world would change!

This of course doesn't mean we shouldn't lose weight if it's a danger to us, or even just because we want to!--or that we shouldn't make sure we are clean and neat in appearance--whatever style we choose. But the point is, a person isn't "more valuable/worthy of love" when thin, nor less so when fat.

Jay

Beach Patrol
02-11-2007, 07:36 PM
MHO: society looks at a fat person & decides that they are lazy & incompetent & nasty, etc. because society reasons that if a person can't take care of THEIR APPEARANCE, how can they be expected to do anything else correctly?

Of course, those of us who have seen both fat & thin in the mirror gets it from both ends. "Wow! you've lost weight! You look great!" (meaning, I didn't look great before!) and of course the general well-meaning but ill-advised "Here's a diet that might help you!" ...(um, excuse me, did I ASK for your expertise???) And who can forget "She has such a pretty face... too bad about the rest of her..."

:tantrum:

There is no good about being fat. We all know it. It's NOT attractive! -it's TOO WARM, it's hard on our joints, our heart, our general health, makes it difficult to operate in a "thin world" (think airplane seats...) and about a thousand other negative things are connected to FAT.

We want to lose weight for different reasons: some of us might just want to look better, fit into those old jeans from college, show an ex that they really missed out, etc. Some of us want to improve our health. Some of us want to feel better body-wise or head-wise (or both.) Some of us know our very lives depend on it. Whatever the reason, we've all felt the sting of unaccepting society to the fat person.

Is this the SAME SOCIETY that is unaccepting about saying the f-word in public? The SAME SOCIETY that is unaccepting about interracial relationships, 60 year olds wearing mini-skirts, atheists, casual drug use, homosexuals, etc-etc-etc-etc??? Yes, I believe it is.

It's really up to US to say SCREW SOCIETY. At some point, we HAVE to stop worrying about what others THINK of us, and just survive on what WE think of OURSELVES.

kaplods
02-11-2007, 08:11 PM
I agree that learning to find and cherish our own value, and "screw society," is the only way anyone of us who swim against the stream of mainstream society can make some semblance of a life, without sacrificing our identity or hating ourselves.

Part of the challenge with weight loss, for those of us who are far beyond those few vanity pounds, is that we were not born or raised, nor are we living, outside of society. We are part of the society that scorns us, and a lot of research shows our perception and opinions of ourselves actually tend to be more negative than that of the average person. So if we hate ourselves, what hope is there?

Being able to say "go to H****" to those who laugh at us in a bathing suit or on a bicycle is a step many of us can't make because we say it to ourselves and never get in that bathing suit or on that bicycle. Some of us are so afraid of what other people will think or say, we never leave the house.

I've been morbidly obese for nearly as long as I can remember (first diet in kindergarten) - the only obese child in the family, where only a couple members were even overweight. I've also been lucky enough to be rather outgoing, so I learned to conquer or maneuver around many of my fears, but it's still a constant battle within myself for self-respect.

almostheaven
02-11-2007, 08:40 PM
Here's another type of bias I dealt with personally that's not often thought of. Yeah, people are discriminated against for race, gender, religion, political affiliation even, weight, and even...being a single mother. It's often been "thought" that single mothers take a lot of time off work and are unreliable. Yet, when I was doing the single mother thing, I couldn't AFFORD to take off work. I lined up plenty of backups when my daughter was sick. I never missed work. I worked OT. I was the most reliable employee they had because I had a daughter to take care of and no one was going to do it for me.

Yet, how many single mothers do take those days off or just lay back and let welfare help them out? Is that where part of the bias came from? It could be some of the cause for the thinking about obesity as well. Many obese people CAN become lazy. Not all for sure. But with that much weight carried around, it's not far fetched to believe an overweight individual is going to tire out easier. As has been mentioned, their health isn't in the best condition either. So they may drag more. I've seen some overweight people who could run circles around a skinny person any day. But they are far and few between. And as I mentioned about how I noticed the trend in myself and my daughter to kind of downplay our looks...

Sometimes we can't put all the fault on those holding a bit of bias. Maybe it's what they've seen and experienced. Doesn't mean the bias is right...always give someone a chance before making a judgment based on someone else's behavior prior. But they CAN get a little jaded by prior experience.

It's like racial profiling. If every robbery in an all white neighborhood has been committed by a black man, and you see a black man slowly driving through, what are you gonna think? We get biased by what we've experienced.

Aquanetrocker
02-11-2007, 10:41 PM
Something I've found interesting is that at work(I work in a jail), when residents, or their families are upset they call me a "Fat b-word", they call the skinny girls just the b-word. Like the extra insult is necessary.

pato
02-11-2007, 11:08 PM
well, people tend to do that, calling names etc, because it hurts more than just the b word alone.
years ago when my brother and i didn´t get along very well he used to call me stupid fat girl or worse cause he knew it was my weakest point. and i hurt him with words too with things i knew would hurt him. i am not sure if all humankind does the same, but from what i see..almost all.
and i agree with heaven, every time i feel fat, very very often i would say, i try to dress as worse as i can, like trying to hide or to reassured to the other´s eyes that i am ugly and fat.
but when i feel fine with myself i dress nicely, wear jewelry, etc.
it´s all about attitud and self-esteem, i´m learning that step by step.

trekkiegirl
02-12-2007, 12:28 AM
Here's another type of bias I dealt with personally that's not often thought of. Yeah, people are discriminated against for race, gender, religion, political affiliation even, weight, and even...being a single mother. It's often been "thought" that single mothers take a lot of time off work and are unreliable.

How about just being single, period? I've never had a desire to be married nor have children. Almost everybody around me is either married or wants to be. Society is set up for couples and families or the dream of them. I had a job once where, during a strike, they assumed I would be willing to temporarily relocate to another state. Um, no, I had a family...a mother, elderly grandparents that I helped take care of. I had responsibilities, too.
I *like* being single and childfree. I like being able to do what I want when I want. I'm not wild or irresponsible but I like not being tied down. Whatever "control" exists in my life, I want the greater say in it. :D

Another type of difference that I noticed... and I won't even say discrimination but more of a societal assumption...I'm a first generation American-born of Italian descent. I grew up in two worlds...the Italian household and family, and the American world everywhere else...it was like travelling between planets. Most of the people I've worked the closest with over the years are from several generations of American born. To look at them vs. me, you'd see no visible difference. But underneath, I've observed noticeable lacks of sensitivity, patience, understanding of other cultures and a certain expectation that if you live in America, you should act like an American...and what that means is, of course, whatever is most familiar to that person (i.e., well, this is what I know and what my life experience and those around me has been so that is what being American means to me). Heck, they even pass along people with accents on the phone to me (be they Spanish, Asian, whatever) because they had less experience in life being around different kinds of people than I did and I supposedly understand the accents better. :p

I don't mean to downplay the weight biases, not at all. I'm just saying that there are biases of so many kinds because people tend to gravitate to what is familiar to them, don't understand what they've not had much experience with, and buy into whatever images and messages the media and society are hyping in that era. If you think about it, you could simplify society right down to marketing and consuming. Am I buying what you're selling, be it a product, a look, an attitude, a way of life, etc.?

Gamerchick
02-12-2007, 05:40 AM
My boyfriend said to me, "Well...you shouldn't be angry over anyone being rude to you. Their opinion doesn't matter. And since you're doing something about it, you shouldn't even be considered fat."

I take it as a compliment...and really, I guess I am weird about it, but why are we on this site if we weren't trying to lose weight for our own reasons? If you're on here to fit in to society's standards, I feel sorry for you.

I want it for me, so *@&* What everyone else thinks.

(Of course, I get upset when people say rude things...but eventually, you got to get over it. EVERYONE is made fun of for something, and I don't care WHO you are!)

almostheaven
02-12-2007, 10:01 AM
I once saw a bumper sticker that read: "I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight."

almostheaven
02-12-2007, 10:05 AM
I'm just saying that there are biases of so many kinds because people tend to gravitate to what is familiar to them, don't understand what they've not had much experience with, and buy into whatever images and messages the media and society are hyping in that era. If you think about it, you could simplify society right down to marketing and consuming. Am I buying what you're selling, be it a product, a look, an attitude, a way of life, etc.?
Exactly. So can we really put all the blame on people who have these biases based on what they know? I mean, if they figure a obese person is lazy because its what they've seen, shouldn't some blame be placed on the obese person who was lazy in their presence?

Now personally, on the single person deal, I've always worked with people who felt single people were more dependable...no children to tie them down. Which is probably part of the same reason they felt you could travel. HOWEVER, I once witnessed a single employee who was the most UNdependable. Drinking all night and coming in late or not showing up at all. She probably led some employers to think that's how singles behaved. Shame on her.

Cheryl14
02-12-2007, 10:44 AM
I've seen the shows where a beautiful, thin model-type person puts on one of those "fat suits" and goes out places and interacts with people THEN comes back WITHOUT the "fat suit" and interacts with the same people and visits the same stores. It IS truly amazing the different experiences that take place!

In my opinion it is more than just the fact that the person is "fat". Clothing fits very differently on us when we are heavy. I look at my own pictures of myself seventy pounds ago and look at how my clothing looks on myself. I THOUGHT I looked very neat and well-put-together back then! Now as I look at those pictures and video of myself, I disgust myself! If I disgust myself, no wonder thinner people are disgusted by fat people!

I have a shape now, but I only THOUGHT I had one seventy pounds ago! I bought bigger clothes that would cover up the rolls of fat that I had accumulated. In many cases I bought MEN'S sweaters because they fit better! I had lost my woman's shape!

We are visual beings. We like sleek-looking cars and pretty decorated rooms in our house. We create visually appealing landscapes for our yards. Let's face it, when we are heavy we lose our basic human shape! We have bulges where WE should look sleek like our cars. We look...NOT human, and sadly FEEL less human, too!

I think people look at us when we are heavy and think of us as LESS HUMAN than they are. Maybe we ACT the part, too, without really realizing it.

Cheryl

almostheaven
02-12-2007, 06:36 PM
I look at my own pictures of myself seventy pounds ago and look at how my clothing looks on myself. I THOUGHT I looked very neat and well-put-together back then! Now as I look at those pictures and video of myself, I disgust myself!
Oh yeah, I've had those moments. I see some of the dresses I had on before that kinda look like smocks when I see them in pictures now. VERY unflattering. At the time, I bought them because they were comfortable and I THOUGHT they looked good on me. Maybe it's the me part that didn't look good in them, but my guess is that larger clothing choices (in the cheaper stores anyway) really stink.

Beach Patrol
02-13-2007, 12:47 PM
Something I continually remind myself about: STEREOTYPES - they exist "for a reason." I try not to be pre-judgmental of anyone for any reason, but I have found that sometimes I just AM. I think that's human nature.

I've looked at pictures of me in both fat & thin times, & WOW - what a difference! - Not just my weight, obviously! - but the way I dressed, the way I wore my hair, everything. Even quite a few pics of "chunky me" where I am literally HIDING behind someone else in the picture (sad). Otherwise, when thin, I am wearing something cool, funky, modern, stylish. So there's "chunky me" VS "funky me".

I prefer FUNKY ME. So why wouldn't anyone else?

GR8 2B48
02-14-2007, 08:50 PM
There are many discriminating people out there. The only difference between being discriminated against because of weight is that we can do something about that. You can't change the color of your skin or a disability. I think people who have never had weight issues look at overweight people as letting themselves go and not taking care of themselves, never knowing that there are sometimes many underlying issues involved. Food can be a comfort, people who have been sexually abused, for example, sometimes subconsciously gain weight as a cover up so they won't be attractive to the opposite sex, etc., etc., etc.

Denise

ennay
02-15-2007, 03:16 PM
I just have to admit ...

I dont think i have fat fascism towards adults, but I most definitely make negative judgments towards the parents of fat kids. It pisses me off when I see obese 7 year olds and I just want to slap the parent silly.

Reddalice
02-15-2007, 03:50 PM
My boyfriend said to me, "Well...you shouldn't be angry over anyone being rude to you. Their opinion doesn't matter. And since you're doing something about it, you shouldn't even be considered fat."

I take it as a compliment...and really, I guess I am weird about it, but why are we on this site if we weren't trying to lose weight for our own reasons? If you're on here to fit in to society's standards, I feel sorry for you.

I want it for me, so *@&* What everyone else thinks.

(Of course, I get upset when people say rude things...but eventually, you got to get over it. EVERYONE is made fun of for something, and I don't care WHO you are!)

I do think there is a difference between people who wallow in their fat and if they can do something about they make excuses and don't- and the people who are fat and actively working hard to lose the weight that harms their mental and physical health. So if you are here, and working for something beautiful like health- tell people to mind their business, and their ignorance and insensitivity isn't appreciated. We should keep our chins up- smile (even if it is a wicked smile). Not only does that help acceptance by speaking up- but it also says you know being unhealthy isn't okay- and that is why you work so damn hard. ^-~ [to everyone> :hug:

Angihas2
02-15-2007, 04:13 PM
I just have to admit ...

I dont think i have fat fascism towards adults, but I most definitely make negative judgments towards the parents of fat kids. It pisses me off when I see obese 7 year olds and I just want to slap the parent silly.

Ok, I'm the same way! If I, as an adult, choose to remain fat and unhealthy that is my choice, but when I see a kid, who is seriously overweight, not just kid chubby, but overweight, and I see the child acting out in public and mom or dad slipping them a candy bar, bubble gum, promising mcdonalds etc, I get infuriated! My kids don't even know what fast food is. We eat at restraunts, real ones, when we eat out, even if it's a buffet style. We always make sure we serve there what we would serve at home, 50% of plate to fresh fruits n veggies, 25 to meat 25 to grains. They get dessert, usually jello or frozen yogurt if its available. I would HATE to see my kids struggle with these exact same issues I struggle with. My parents always told me they worked hard to make my life better than theirs, in all ways not just financially or via education. I want the same for my kids. I want them to think of low fat yogurt as a dessert, not a punishment.