Weight Loss Support - Here we go again - a rant




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mel67
02-10-2007, 09:31 AM
:( Well, some of you who've been here a while may remember me, some may not. I guess you could say I took a "diet hietus". I hit 173 in October, and then spun out of control. I guess I got so excited that I'd lost 30 pounds that I eased up on myself....and never put the breaks on. As of today, I have gained back about 15 of what I'd lost. I'm not not not changing my ticker, please just let me have that small pleasure to enjoy :)

I know what I have to do to get back on track. I know what I have to do to loose the weight. Problem is, I'm sick and tired of it. I'm sick and tired of watching what I eat. I'm sick and tired of counting calories and fat grams. I'm sick and tired of being ever mindful of what goes in my mouth. But I'm also sick and tired of being over weight, and having a closet full of kickin clothes that I can't wear. I have been on a "diet" for the better part of 17 years, and I'm ready to just say I don't care any more. I sooooo badly just don't want to care any more. But there's that small little voice in the back of my head, that says "you do care, and you always will", that small part of me that won't let me give up for good. and it is a constant war on the inside of me.

well, sorry I came back just to whine. I just woke up this morning feeling really fat, trying to find the motivation to make today "the day" to start again. how many times have I started again.....

anyway, thanks for listening.


bargoo
02-10-2007, 09:48 AM
Boy do I ever hear you! I am back to counting calories , I know this works. @2 years ago I lost 54 pounds and due to stress eating I regained 44, I am really mad at myself, but am getting back on track , counting calories and exercising,You can do it, too.Think of it as improving your health.I think counting calories is a healthy way to go,by the way I thought I would kick start my weight loss by going on Meat and Egg,sure I lost weight but I never want to see an egg again.

kaplods
02-10-2007, 10:01 AM
I've been on the diet rollercoaster since I was 5 (I'm going to be 41 next month), so I can relate. The only thing keeping me from giving up, is knowing that if I do, I will not only gain back what I've lost, and I can't bear the thought, let alone the reality of weighing over 400 lbs. I will have sleep apnea again, and won't be able to sleep on my back again..... undoing all the little and large progresses I've made so far.

I've also backslid recently, and am trying to muster the courage and enthusiasm to go on. What seems to be helping is taking failure out of the equation. How many other areas of our lives do we make behavior changes without beating ourselves up the way we do in this one. I'm striving to do laundry more often so I don't have to wait until I'm out of clothes or until the last bathtowel. Do I beat myself up when I "fail," or decide that since I have I won't ever do laundry again because I'm such a slob, or punish myself by getting something dirty.

It's a stupid analogy, but it's helping me remember why I'm trying to make these changes - to make my life easier, not to make it harder. I'm journaling again and doing it in a different way. I write down EVERYTHING I eat. Yesterday it was kind of tough because I'd done well all day, and then slipped up 3 times after I'd decided I was done eating for the day. Each of those times I was tempted not to write it down, or "do it in the morning," but I wrote them down. I also don't just list the food and it's calories, but how I feel about the choice. The rule I've given myself is that I can't write only something bad, I have to include something good about the choice, even if it was "sure tasted good at the time." Although I try to be more specific like "I really enjoyed the creamy texture," or whatever, so that I can look at the choice later and decide if there were a better choice that would have satisfied.

It may sound stupid, but this reminds me that none of my choices are "bad," (so neither am I), and that all of my choices have consequences - both positive and negative.

These are new techniques for me, so I can't say how effective they'll be for me in the long run, but they're giving me that second (in this case 500th) wind I need to keep going. I think that is key for me, and maybe you to - needing to keep it fresh and interesting so healthy behaviors don't seem like looking forward to a life sentence in solitary confinement.


northernbelle
02-10-2007, 10:01 AM
I am one that will always have to watch what I eat. If I relax even for a week, the food intake creeps up and goes off track.

I have been trying to make this a lifestyle change- keeping junk to a bare minimum, having good choices in the house, cooking healthy, watching portion sizes. But even too much of good food can add up.

Don't think of it as a 'diet'. I try to eat and prepare food normally- that is I will have a sauce on the meat, mashed potatoes, etc. Not too many foods are banned, just put into their place. I don't like many junk foods, so I can let those go. The ones I like- like cookies, nachos- I buy maybe once every 3 months just so I don't feel deprived. (Of course, it helps that I have no kids at home)

There are tricks to make it easier. Have a specific number of dinner recipes on hand. I am usually pretty strict during the week, then not so strict on the weekend. Make double recipes, so that you can freeze one for later on. Plan, plan, plan. Eventually, the actual time you devote to 'diet' becomes less.

Keep at it. And don't worry about ranting here. You probably said what everyone else is feeling.

Glory87
02-10-2007, 10:33 AM
It's hard to explain, but what finally, ultimately worked for me was accepting (I mean, really accepting) that I can't diet short term and expect long term results. I had to find something that I really LIKED, that I didn't hate doing everyday, that I could for the rest of my life. I couldn't diet for awhile and then go eat "normally" - my eating normally made me heavy!

If you don't like counting calories or fat grams, don't. Get 5 breakfasts, 5 lunches, 5 dinners, 2 snacks that you know the basic calorie count and just swap in and out everyday so you know your average total. I never looked at fat grams. I cut out junk, fast food, processed foods, when you're only eating lean protein, whole grains, fruits and vegetables, the challenge is eating ENOUGH fat, not worrying about too much.

Good luck - but please be thinking LONG TERM. If you want to lose the weight and keep it off, your goal can not be "I want to weigh x lbs" because what happens when you reach x lbs? Do you stop? Do you quit dieting? That's a recipe for weight regain, and gaining it all back is just heartbreaking.

phantastica
02-10-2007, 10:47 AM
I am kind of in the same boat as you. I lost 70, but put on 30 (and now I've lost a few of those 30 :) ). This has been over the course of sixteen months. I don't count calories or enter foods into fitday on a regular basis, because I find it tedious at this point, and I won't keep up. I have a fitday account, and every now and then I take a random day and enter it, just for a checkpoint.

What works for me is to approach this as a hobby - learning about nutrition, etc. I read a lot of the latest diet crazes (objectively), take what works, leave the rest. I love learning what nutritional values different foods have, and different ways of preparing new vegetables, etc.

And keep coming back to 3FC! It truly helps.

Cheers!

rockinrobin
02-10-2007, 10:59 AM
I think it is really and truly important to look at it as not what you are giving up, the high calorie, high fat, high sugar, high volume food, but what you are GAINING. A healthy body. An active body. Hopefully a longer life. A life with less worries. The best possible chance at being the best possible YOU. Any sacrifice you think you may be making is nothing, nothing compared to what you will be GAINING.

I also agree that you must, absolutely must think of this as forever and ever. NO starting and stopping. Just continuing. Good luck.

LLV
02-10-2007, 11:53 AM
I know what I have to do to get back on track. I know what I have to do to loose the weight. Problem is, I'm sick and tired of it. I'm sick and tired of watching what I eat. I'm sick and tired of counting calories and fat grams. I'm sick and tired of being ever mindful of what goes in my mouth. But I'm also sick and tired of being over weight, and having a closet full of kickin clothes that I can't wear. I have been on a "diet" for the better part of 17 years, and I'm ready to just say I don't care any more. I sooooo badly just don't want to care any more. But there's that small little voice in the back of my head, that says "you do care, and you always will", that small part of me that won't let me give up for good. and it is a constant war on the inside of me.

I used to feel this way too. And you know what finally got me to the point of not having a constant war going on in my head? Realizing and admitting to myself that this CAN'T be a diet, but rather a lifestyle change. Something I can live with the rest of my life.

Yes, I count calories. Will I be counting calories until the day I die? Probably. I have to in order to keep from putting the weight back on. I didn't lose over 85 pounds to sabotage myself and gain it all back. I'd rather not eat at all than be fat. No food is worth that. Not to me. At least not anymore.

I perfectly understand that 'war' inside your head. And I know how exhausting it can be. But I learned to relax a little bit and just say, "Look, you're in this for life. You're still young. Do you want to go the rest of your life driving yourself crazy? Of course not. Find a comfy resting place and stay there."

So, like many others here, counting calories is what keeps me in check, it keeps me accountable. Do I still have favorite little 'sinful' treats now and then? Sure I do. Deprivation doesn't work. And I'm surely not going the rest of my life without pizza, fried chicken and ice cream cones! lol

But when I have them, I work them into my daily calories. Some days I'm a little over my calories, some days I'm a little under. It's never an exact science. I don't stress myself out trying to stay at an exact number. That's crazy. I don't try to stay at an exact number on the scale, either, because I perfectly understand that weight fluctuates from day to day. I know a girl who pulls her hair out if she's not EXACTLY 119 pounds. Not 118, not 120, but 119. Why I don't know. She simply picked that number because it sounded good, I guess, and she drives herself NUTS trying to stay there. I said to her, "Girl, you need to relax on yourself or you're going to be in a straight jacket soon."

I'd try calorie counting for a while if you haven't yet. It's the only thing that ever worked for me. Because if I don't stay accountable, I'll lose track of what I'm doing and I'll start gaining again. Counting calories allows me to eat what I want (although I eat healthy and lowfat 90% of the time) and still stay at a certain weight. I'm not exactly at goal yet, but I'm comfortable. Again, I'm not going to focus on just one number. Although it would be kinda neat to see if I can get under 130! :)

But I'm not stressing over it. I'll get there eventually.

carolr3639
02-10-2007, 01:32 PM
I think everyone has to have a plan they can do for life. I tell my kids if you eat when you're hungry and stop when satisfied (not stuffed) you'll remain thin. I did that for about 30 yr then spent the next 25 dieting. Not good.

chick_in_the_hat
02-10-2007, 03:33 PM
For me - whether or not to watch what I eat and getting exercise daily is no longer a choice. It's just part of who I am. You have to find something you can do for the rest of your life. It will probably never be easy....sometimes life sux like that.

Feel free to rant, tho! That's why a lot of us come here. Never to feel alone with this problem again. :hug:

Beach Patrol
02-11-2007, 08:05 PM
I can sooooooooooo relate!

I've yo-yo'd to the point that I was thinking "Ack! Being fat ain't all that bad... after all, I can eat the yummiest of foods & who gives a rip? I will be 50 in 7 years anyway, and in another 12 years I'll retire, then I can eat ice cream for brekkie if I wanna!" :rolleyes: Silly me! :dizzy:

I have dieted seemingly all my life. Even when I was thin as a rail, & borderline anorexic, I remember DIETING. During my adult life, I've lost at least 25-30 pounds, & it keeps FINDING ME & bringing along 10 of their friends, the little crappers! LOL! - So there it is: the reality of it all! I HAVE PROVEN TO MYSELF THAT I CAN LOSE WEIGHT. I KNOW WHAT IT TAKES, & HOW TO DO IT... but keeping it off? Heh, there's the oopsy-daisy! :o :sorry:

Yet, THIS TIME, I feel "differently" somehow. About a month ago, I decided - that's right, I DECIDED - to look at junk food as POISON to my body. I view it the same way I view cigarettes. BAD FOR ME. NO GOOD VALUE. I got off the sweets rollercoaster by using South Beach. I am trying MORE different foods (I recently learned that I LIKE whole grain bread! who'duh thunk it?) And altho I would LOVE to look like my avatar again (that was August 2005) I am not going to rush it. I accept the fact that weight loss does not come on overnight & it won't disappear overnight. I'm not going to beat myself up for eating something I want, and I'm not giving up my most favorite foods - EVER. In turn, I am going to take it SLOW & EASY, learn to try NEW FOODS, make WISE choices, EXERCISE SMARTER, NOT HARDER, and stop being so judgmental of ME.

I am not my body shape. My body shape does not control me. I am worth more than a bag of M&M's, a piece of cake, or that 2nd helping of spaghetti. My life is all I have. I will take care of me. :yes: :dancer: :woohoo:

pato
02-11-2007, 11:14 PM
oh my..it´s like reading what i say at least once a week!! a constant battle but we have to win it. good luck mel!!

Heather
02-11-2007, 11:46 PM
What seems to be helping is taking failure out of the equation. How many other areas of our lives do we make behavior changes without beating ourselves up the way we do in this one. I'm striving to do laundry more often so I don't have to wait until I'm out of clothes or until the last bathtowel. Do I beat myself up when I "fail," or decide that since I have I won't ever do laundry again because I'm such a slob, or punish myself by getting something dirty.

Colleen- I loved this analogy! You're right, in other areas we don't necessarily use the label "failure" -- we just try to improve. Why not in for eating and exercise, too??

Though think about it -- if we did think of ourselves as failures if we didn't get the laundry done and DIDN'T if we "messed up" our diets -- we'd be thinner, but our clothing would be FILTHY!! :D

sportmom
02-12-2007, 12:19 AM
Beach Patrol -- that is an amazing avatar. Even b4 I got to the point where you said it was you, I thought to myself, what a great body style to achieve. This girl looks healthy and athletic and a great goal for all of us to strive for. Holy heck -- it's a "real" person!! How much were you in Aug 2005, cuz you look great! Was this your 135 goal?

What you say makes a ton of sense, like all the posts here have. On another thread, we talked about eating like normal people and wanting to, instead of dieting. I thought about that alot this weekend, because for me, I want to eat like normal people too. I've enjoyed waking up and not thinking about junk food the minute I wake up - where I'm going to get my big gulp, what restaurant I'm going to finagle a way to get my family to eat at, what's the junky fast food choice for lunch...... I don't think NORMAL people think about that when they wake up. So it's been a relief now to wake up without thoughts of where my "fix" is coming from.....for me, that's what normal feels like. :)