I need help!
I really should listen to my own advice. I can't do one day right.... Is an emergency TO what I need? Is it to quit? If I quit I will miss everyone here. If I don't quit I will be disgusted with myself all the time. I tried Cassi's advice, I TRY to follow my own advice. I can not do ONE DAY!! COME ON ONE DAY! I think this is really beginning to depress me. I am so tired of feeling so lousy about it all. I am sure you all are tired of hearing about it but this is really getting to me now. I do not feel attractive what so ever anymore. I mean look at my avatar I looked happy there. That is not how I feel anymore. Thanks for listening.
02-08-2007, 10:50 PM
Barb- I really feel for you sweetie. I have felt this way before too. The truth is, weight loss is one of the hardest fights that we will ever engage in. I know that you want to do it, you obviously feel that you need to do it. What is holding you back? I think that you really need to do some soul searching and decide just what it is that is pushing you into self sabatauge. I can sit here all day and tell you that you are sooooo worth this fight, but you have to believe it too. I have probably said this to you before, but sit down and make a list of reasons you want to lose weight. Then add the reasons you deserve to lose weight. Post it where you can see it often, the fridge, bathroom mirror, etc. Then quit beating yourself up. From now on, only positive thoughts about your body, your eating habits, and your food in general. It is not fair to you to be miserable all the time over this.
02-08-2007, 10:58 PM
I know we can use all the right sounding words to give you support and tell you that it's going to be ok. Sometimes, however, all the words in the world don't make a difference if you're not in the right place "mentally"...
It's very easy for us to lose focus.. I should know... Sometimes, we have to step away and gather ourselves together.. It can take a day.. It can take a week.. But if you're not in the right place, you will continue to mess up and continue to kick yourself about it.
Something is keeping you from staying on track.. Have you lost enough weight to the point where you're comfortable with your sucess so far? Are there things in the house making it easy to slip up? Are you not getting enough support from your family? There are a million things out there to get in our way, but in reality, the only thing keeping you from your goal is yourself.
If you think you need to step back from the plan for a while, maybe you do, just long enough to rediscover why you started it in the first place. I think, after a short time, you'll realize that you WERE doing well, and that you WERE losing weight and that you still have the power to continue.
Getting over the blahs doesn't happen overnight.. It took me the better part of a month and a half to realize that it wasn't going to get easier... But the more I thought about how far I'd come made me realize that if I could make it this far, then I had the power to keep going..
There's still "Happy Barb" in there.. the Avatar only tells part of the story... She's in there somewhere, but you have to stop kicking yourself. Kicking ourselves makes us look and feel unattractive.
02-08-2007, 11:16 PM
First off you need to take a deep breath. Do you honestly want to quit? Do you think that you would be happier if you were back to your old ways of eating? TO may or may not help you. I had a major carb binge 2 days ago on TO. Is there a certain time of the day that you are cheating? Are there certain foods that are making you cheat?
Go through the house and get rid of all the foods that you can't eat. If DF has to have candy or other trigger foods for you, have him put it somewhere where you can't see it or you don't know where it is. Tell him how you are feeling and ask him to help you out.Then sit down and write up a menu for one week at least. Do your grocery shopping off your list. Go home and cut up your veggies and bag them into snack size baggies, do the same for your fruits, nuts etc. If you have to have candy, get some sugar free stuff, if you still have the bowl of candy on your desk at work, put it on someone elses desk or throw it away. Make up some SF jell-o and put it in single size serving containers. Plan, plan, plan and then plan some more.
The things I just told you are things that I had to do this week. DH went out of town and I told him to take his oreo cookies with him. I had 5 of them during my carb binge, and then ended up throwing the rest of them down the garbage disposal. I find that if I make a menu and plan accordingly that I stay on track better. You can't beat yourself up if you slip up, you just have to brush it off and get right back on track.
I was moved to gold back in Oct. at 178. I have been gaining and losing the same 3 lbs. since then. I would be in the loony bin or have cut my tongue off if I chastised myself everytime I screwed up. It's a journey that will have it's up's and down's. You will not lose every week, you will not stay on course every week. Barb, I have been doing this for 56 weeks. I should be on maintenance right now.
Don't give up, you are worth the effort to keep going. Myabe just take a break for a while. Put your account on hold at the COD and take some time to get back into the groove. Losing weight is 98% mental. If you are not in the right place mentally you are going to beat yourself up forever. You just have to make up your mind that you are going to do it and I know that you can. We can do this together!!!!
02-09-2007, 08:20 AM
Barb - Everyone has already posted the best advice. I don't think you are the only one that has ever had these thoughts, and the fact that you post a plea for help is, to me, a sign that you don't really want to quit.
I think attitude has a lot to do with our success. If you constantly tell yourself you just can't do this, eventually you will give in. If, however, you wake up believing in yourself and saying...I can do this, I will do this, I am worth it.....(and repeat this about a hundred times a day), you will have a better chance at success.
(Deb - things you suggested are things I do (make DH hide junk food and throwing lots of good food down the garbage disposal due to my own lack of willpower!!).
02-09-2007, 08:33 AM
Barb - you have been given excellent advice already.
There are plenty of others who have felt like you, myself included. I'm in this for the long haul. And this is my 3rd time restarting. Have I gone off plan? Absolutely. But instead of having a whole bag of chips in one night, I may grab one or two. Small changes, but ones that will make big differences.
All you can do is just take each day by day. Don't beat yourself up over what went wrong, but think about what you have changed that was RIGHT with your day. ANYTHING positive about that day's eating experience. And look back to where you were pre-LAWL. Did you have those same eating habits?
Know that we are always here for you. Even if you're not able to stay POP for one reason or another, I do hope that you continue to post!
02-09-2007, 08:35 AM
I was just looking back at Deb's post about the SF candy. If you do get it, don't do what I did. I bought a bag of Dove SF candy. It was AWESOME!! I ate all BUT 3 pieces in the bag.
Needless to say my tummy was not feeling too well ...
02-09-2007, 10:10 AM
First off I love you! Remember my 'do not suck' chat too!
Honestly it is so easy to write the advice but hard to live it. I think you just have to wrap your mind around the plan. If you've lost some you may just want to physically and mentally maintain for a bit and then refocus on a new session of losing. Get Valentine's day out of the way, go out and enjoy it reasonably and then recommit.
I know I've said it before but you have to remove the temptations. Anything that might make me cheat is NOT in my house! When I'm out and around it I have to fight an inner battle but my victory is more important to me than the 5 seconds of taste I might get by giving in. Then I'd be miserable for days over a gain.. one wins over the other to me.
You can't change yesterday or predict tomorrow but you can control today. You can do it when you are ready and we're all here for your rants and victories. Remember too everyone that posts has been through this before so we are all in the same boat!
02-09-2007, 10:28 AM
SF Lifesaver Creamsavers are wonderful, I carry them in my purse but make sure I never have more than 3 at a time, since thats how many I can have in a day. I almost always get rid of my sweet craving with just one candy because they're so yummy! Hang in there Barb. You're here for a reason, the support of this great community! All of you guys lift me up, make me laugh out loud literally, make me cry at some of the sad stories especially this past week, seemed to be the week for tragedy. Just remember we're going through exactly what you are everyday, struggling to stick to this freaking diet LOL But just remember, you're better off now than when you started this journey and it is SO worth it!
02-09-2007, 03:13 PM
Barb I know exactly what you are feeling. Because right now I am in that same "funk" with you. I am like "why do I keep messing up." Truth is there is going to be days like this, there are always going to be times where we just want to run out and get a Whopper with cheese...lol. If you have ever watched Nemo, you know what Dori said..."Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming!" Even if we do not lose huge amounts of weight right now, it is somewhat fulfilling to know that at least now we are conscious about it. Where before we would had just kept on eating till the cows came home and then laid out in the pasture with the cows and kept eating...lol. Hang in there, which is for both you and me, and the rest of us who are struggling. HANG IN THERE MISSIES AND MR.'S!!!!
02-09-2007, 03:17 PM
Barb- I feel ya-really . . . .I was a the same point last week-do great all day until I went home. The POP challenge is helping-the last 2 days i've actually stopped myself from cheating because I didn't want to have to say I blew that day.
So-when are the cheats happening? A certain time of day? A certain place? A particular food? Let's set up a battle plan so you can get 1 day under your belt . . .
02-09-2007, 03:20 PM
Not sure about Barb, but I cheat the most when I get home. I mean my husband gets all kinds of chips and stuff, or maybe I will have an extra bar because I am craving choco., something like that. Barb is it the same for you?
02-09-2007, 04:11 PM
See.. that's the hard part.. I'm so thankful that Liz and I are doing this together, because I know if one of us wasn't, the temptation to eat questionable things while out or pick up the bag of chips would be SO strong..
That said, however, I know that if Liz was doing this alone, I'd have the wherewithall to not keep bad stuff in the house.. My chip and french fry eating would be done at work...
02-09-2007, 04:27 PM
I would also like to add that maybe it is time to talk to your doctor. Maybe he/she can help. It is a really hard thing to do........to go tell a doctor that you have had the blahs too long for your comfort level.....that you are down and can't get up. Dieting, binging, lack of self control........these are all ways that we can act out what is going on inside of us when we do not know how to help ourselves. We often take out our emotions on our bodies. Some starve themselves, some exercise to extremes, some binge eat, some cut themselves...the list goes on and on. I am not suggesting that you have any serious mental things going on........or that you are defective in ANY way......I am saying........you sound like I used to.......before I got help. My help started with my internist. I used the excuse that I was going to quit smoking so that I could get Welbutrin (anti-depressant). I was far too proud to be completely honest. I was going to quit smoking......and I did (whoohooo), but I am still taking the meds, and that was in May. I was forced to admit this at my OB/GYN appt yesterday, when the midwife asked me if I was taking the Welbutrin for depression.....and I was like, "no......it's for quitting smoking......oh, wait, it has been 9 months since I quit...........yeah, I guess it is." Now, my "depression" symptoms weren't excessive crying or the inability to get out of bed or anything drastic like you see on T.V. Mine were more about being super edgy, overwhelmed CONSTANTLY, lonely (missing my girlfriends afer moving to a new state......and that took a while to hit me..like a year and a half), unable to care for myself the way I used to be able to. For example....I was gaining weight, and no matter what I did, I couldn't get a handle on it.......I rarely made an effort to look nice.......I didn't get out at all.........I made no time for me to be a woman.....only a mom..............I just didn't put effort into ANYTHING except for my kids.....and I blame that on instinct.
I have been accused of being annorexic (I know, right, a fat annorexic....this was obviously at a thin time in my life) by a counselor.........a perfectionist...........oh, girl......the flaws go on and on...LOL......the point I am trying to make is.......sometimes we all need help........and maybe this is one of those times. You are so smart, and you are trying and trying and trying........and that is commendable........but if you really feel hopeless......down..........discouraged beyond reason........it might be time to reach out in another direction.
02-09-2007, 04:47 PM
It really is not fair of me to ask Phil to not have treats in the house. He really eats relatively healthy. There arent chips in the house, he is a crackers person. I buy candy that he likes and not me so I dont eat the candy (that did not work the other day for some reason but normally it does). It is the extra cheese sticks I eat, the extra Kashi or Luna bar, the pop I grab to drink, the hot chocolate, the other day I found myself with the peanut butter jar and a spoon, it is the not measuring my food, making non LAWL choices b/c I already screwed up and I am punishing myself I guess (not that I say that I think it is the thinking process).
Have you lost enough weight to the point where you're comfortable with your success so far? Are there things in the house making it easy to slip up? Are you not getting enough support from your family?
No, I have not lost enough weight, I gained it all back now. Phil is very supportive so it is not that. In fact I am home before him and he does not see the cheat....
Then sit down and write up a menu for one week at least. Do your grocery shopping off your list. Go home and cut up your veggies and bag them into snack size baggies, do the same for your fruits, nuts etc. If you have to have candy, get some sugar free stuff, if you still have the bowl of candy on your desk at work, put it on someone elses desk or throw it away. Make up some SF jell-o and put it in single size serving containers. Plan, plan, plan and then plan some more.
Did that today, I bought all plan food with the exception of a couple of things for Phil but it was all for my LAWL plan otherwise. I also decided that on Sunday I will do FF not TO. I think I am going to act as if I am starting over, day 1.
NISHA: Yes, it is after work that i cheat. It seems like the same thing you do.
Nicole: I thought about that, but I have a great fear of anti-depressants... I am not against them but I saw my stepmother go CRAZY to the point of needing shock theraphy and trying to kill herself and they kept giving those to her and I have that same fear.
Like I said I will try Sunday as if this is day 1 with LAWL....
Needless to say I am on day 3 of the POP challenge and do not have 1 day under my belt.
Thank you all for your advice.
02-09-2007, 04:56 PM
I too find that my biggest desire to cheat comes after work. So what I've done now is to save either my fruit or a lite until I'm on the way home or just after I get home. That way I'm not tempted to snack while getting dinner ready.
Are you on the lites?
02-09-2007, 05:00 PM
I was doing the all food plan but decided to go back to Gold with lites but use the substitutes b/c I like the tastes better and I cant afford the lites themselves.
02-09-2007, 07:58 PM
Barb, I can SO identify with this. Too bad we're so far apart. We could buddy up and keep each other in line!
02-09-2007, 10:02 PM
I know that this is a little late, but I just want to tell you that I believe you can do this.
You look like you have a plan. I wanted to say something to you eventhough it's slow coming, because you know the struggle that I had for 3-4 weeks and I wasn't cheating. I could have given up, but that wasn't an option. You too have come this far. Don't allow the thought of quitting to enter your head.
Deb gave you some wonderful advice as well as everyone else. If you can't do one day at a time, do one meal at a time and one meal will turn into a day at a time.
YES, you are worth it and YES you will do this. I believe in you!:D XOXOX