[lqsota]

I have decided that I need some help. I attended my frist OA meeting last Tuesday and felt a real conection to the process. However in the past few days I am falling apart more then ever. I think I need to talk to someone about what is going on in my head because if left up to me... I cant seem to take this on myself.

I am young, happy and in most ways living the perfect life. Yet I can not get a hold of my obsession with food. I dont have the willpower to do it on my own. I tell myself over and over- you can do this... just say no. Eat healthy small snacks and you will not have to binge... the more I convince myself I can handle it- the faster I slide farther down.

What is wrong with me that I can even have the will power to say no to a lunch date when I just ate half my kitchen?

How do I go about getting a sponser? Maybe that is the answer...

[marny]

Hi there-

It took a lot of courage to go to that first meeting.

You asked "What is wrong with me that I can even have the will power to say no to a lunch date when I just ate half my kitchen? "

What's wrong is that you have a threefold disease: mental, spritual, and physical. You are trying to cope with the illness without treatment. Would you try to go it alone if you had cancer? Would you blame yourself and ask what's wrong with me if you had a tumor? Compulsive eating is no different. It's a disease that attacks us on 3 levels.

Yes, you need someone to talk to. At the meeting were you given any phone numbers of members? If so, call them. Go to another meeting and get a sponsor. You do this by listening and looking for someone who has what you want. Then, after the meeting tell them you are ready to stop eating compulsively and need help. Ask them if they will sponsor you. If they can't due to other commitments, ask someone else. Don't take it personally. Don't give up.

There are online meetings every three hours around the clock at www.therecoverygroup.org Get a copy of the book Alcoholics Anonymous and start on the first page-- keep reading. Get a copy of the OA 12 steps and traditions. Start at step one and keep reading.

You are not alone. There is a solution. The steps take hard work, but if you work them, there are promises for recovery and a lifting of the obsession.

I do not have the willpower to do it on my own. Niether do the hundreds of thousands of other people in OA. The good news is we don't have to "depend on our own unsteady willpower." Instead, we can depend on a power greater than ourselves. We can be supported by the fellowship. We can find sanity through abstinence and working the steps.

There is hope. There is help. I'm here a lot if you want to ask questions.