What attitude is causing you the biggest difficulty in really succeeding in your weight loss efforts?
What can you do about it?
What will your new attitude be?
Most recently for me my biggest struggle was not lossing as quickly as I wanted too.
I can change my attitude and expectations looking to the long run rather than short term and yo-yo as was the usual. I can keep my goals clearly in front of me, making it my first priority before anything so that I have more to give and restore to me , the greatest gift of being the person I can be.
I had to do a big mental adjustment and realize that as important as speed can seem ...permenent is far more important. To lose a little is better by far than lossing none. I will get to where I am going. If it speeds up great , if not I am making more headway than I have in years and can easily take it slower and steady.
I have lived my life with a slender person trapped inside a fat suit. A prison to me as surely as any iron bars and far more incedious. A prison which has always limited my interactions, my choises, my hope, dreams and most of all my freedom to be totally myself and comfortable in any and all situtations. I have made life hard in sso many ways so needlessly and have had to prove myself far more than my slender contemporaries. I did it to myself and I am the only one who can fix it. Thanks to my beloved support group I will achieve all my goals.
10-20-2001, 05:19 PM
Pam... What a thought provoking subject.
I think that my worse downfall is at times I don't believe that I can do this. That weighing anything under 200# is possible. I have weighed over 200# for 20 years. It is what I know. And When I don't "buy" into it I think somehow it is related to when I go off plan. I can't picture myself thin yet. ANd with the weight and inches I have lost so far I still see myself as 272#+ . It has only been recently that I can "See" the weight loss. I know that I am wearing smaller clothes but I still percievs myself as larger. I am also suddenly getting attention from men. I am extermely uncomfortable with this. And this is at 242#, what will happen when I am smaller? I have used my "fat suit" for so many things and now it is going away.
I am determined to do this. I just need to adjust to it slowly.
The mental thing is so much the hurdle. I used to eat my emotions away. I am better at this now. The exercise is helping with that. I am also afraid that because I sometimes don't feel that Ican do this, I in turn don't take my program seriously enough, thus "slip". I have recently reved up my workouts to combat this. And am trying to pay attention to portion control again.
Well thanks Pam
10-21-2001, 09:25 AM
This is good, Pam...a good outlet for us "losers".
In the beginning of this program, I had a real problem with wanting all those other foods that I dearly love. I couldn't imagine having to always eat this way...but it was the other foods (and the meds, and, and, and) that put me in the position of having to do this program again. My problem was that I completely went off of the program.
Being home and totally in control, it's easier for me. It's natural that I now eat this way. In time, once I have reached my goal (and I KNOW that I WILL REACH MY GOAL!!!) I might allow myself a "little" of my favorite food...but only once a month. I don't want to be on the yo-yo wagon ever again. This is, indeed, a way of life.
I also have had a real problem with it taking so long to lose this weight...I do not have the virtue of being patient. Because of having to take meds, or having allergies, I have lost 10 pounds over and over again since I started. After the fiasco of eating improperly while away for the funeral, I really became disenchanted with this program...I didn't think my body would allow me to continue losing. I got terribly depressed, not only about the loss of my brother, but because of the fact that the weight wasn't going...and then it wasn't going fast enough. I really had to do some soul searching to straighten my thinking out...and finally have pulled myself out of the funk I was in.
I remember when I lost all my weight once before...I absolutely could not see myself as being thin. I was wearing a size 12 , I was thin as a rail, and I was still trying to lose. My Mom had to have a talk with me about what I was doing to myself. I am at the point now where I still can't see my weight loss. I've gone from a very tight 22W (I truly should have been wearing a 24, but I refused to go there. I looked like I was painted into my pants!!!) to a loose 16W. I was surprised last night when I put on my jeans shorts. They had been washed and dried to death. When I put them on, they were not tight in the waist or on my butt...I couldn't believe it!!! Yet, I still cannot see my weight loss. I am going to have to really work hard on this.
When I was younger, one of the things that kept me from loosing weight (or made me gain it) was the attention I got from other men. Like you, Pat, it made me terribly uncomfortable. I wear a huge, gaudy wedding ring with 5 diamonds on it (I've got large hands...elegant, yet artistic...after all, I am an AMAZON!!!, and I can wear huge and gaudy), and men still try to get my attention...another thing I have to work on.
But, I am in control. I know what I have to weigh to be at my goal, and I will continue on this journey with the facts at hand. I won't let my inability to see this loss or the fact that men are ignorant keep me from doing this program properly. I am doing this for ME!!! And no one is going to make me sabotage my program.
This program is getting to the point that it's just every day stuff. We have to eat to survive...we've done so all our lives. We have always picked and chosen what we ate before and we continue to do so...only now we choose wisely. Why do we? We have goals to reach...OUR goals.
Goodness, I got windy, didn't I?
Love and success to you all,
10-22-2001, 01:04 PM
Isn't it funny how afraid of ourselves we are. It isn't the men themselves it's how we will deal with it that causes the fear. It is all so safe when we are big, you can even flirt without consequences when you are big but after a weight loss it is all different and we have to be so sensitive as to whwere the other person is coming from! We know what our intensions are! I use a sort of mantra for myself as I lose weight because that has always been a big issue for me too. My Mantra is...I am totally safe at all times, I have the ability to handle any and all situtations in a good and positive way. After saying this to myself on a daily regular basis for so long , I am beginning to realize how true that is. My greatest tool is my sense of humor. Male attention is not something I was in any way short of no matter what my weight, which is odd really. It gets alot worse as I lose weight but I am a grown woman and can avert any unwanted attention and know that as nice as the attention can be at times
I have the wisdom to know when I have to take a hold of any given situtation.
As far as the speed of weight loss..... that has been, and still is something I find agravating at times. I am used to lossing weight so fast and this time it is a struggle in a big way. Every pound is a major effort. That is new for me. I am older and far less active now. It shows. I am somewhat limited as you know and I have a problem with that. It is a concept that is difficult for me to deal with and has been for a long time. My apache blood just does not accept that easily but I cope ok , no not great but for the most part in good humor.
The mental is the battle , isn't it. By the way Lee..... I am three hundred and four pounds and wear a size seven ring...I love big jewelry and totally believe in glittering to the teeth!!!! I get away with it pretty well. Amazons aren't the only people who can get away with it....but it helps!!!! Oh Amazon Queen and dearest friend these small bones have an Amazon attitude!!!! One more thing we have in common. ROFL. Who would have guessed!!!!!!!
Love you all,
PS. I always dreamed of having a glitter party. Glitter falling from the ceiling on everyone!!!
10-22-2001, 09:53 PM
I don't have any "attitude" or stumbling block to weight loss right now. But, I do wonder why I allowed myself to get FAT!
I am the oldest of 5 children. My sister is next, then three brothers. I was always very tall for my age and built nice. My sister was skinny, one brother was skinny, one brother was average, and one brother was very heavy growing up. My dad was average and my mom was very heavy. We all ate the same things......and were very active kids.......but we came in all shapes and sizes....and that amazes me! I am blond with blue eyes, my sister is a brunette with dark eyes, and my brothers have sandy hair and green eyes....that amazes me! To grow up the same...and be so different. I never had a "problem" with my weight until I reached highschool. Horrible periods led doctors to put me on a variety of different birth control pills to correct the problem. I gained 30 pounds in 3 months. I was 5'9" and a majorette. That did not sit well! "LET THE DIET WARS BEGIN!!!" My weight went up and down and up and down alllllllll thru highschool. Back then (I am 43) we were WEIGHED weekly. Try that now in your local highschool! The largest majorette uniform was a 12. I was a 12. I blame the pills for the start of it all.
I married at 20......(a size 14 gown) and the doctors found that all the problems I had were indeed endometeosis. One surgery and more pills........they found problems in my uterosis and suggested I try to start a family if I ever wanted to have children. Fortunately....I got pregnant without any trouble and had my first son. I turned 22 in the hospital. I CRASH dieted after having him down to a size 12. What a mistake! I looked good but felt horrible. I began to eat normally again...went up to a 16 and we decided to add another baby to the family and woooooo hoooo...eating for 2 and uuuup went the scale! I lost most of my weight eating pretty light after baby #2...but then I began having panic attacks after our home was flooded out pretty bad...and mor weight appeared! I always thought growing yup with a FAT MOM..........and seeing how she struggled with "all that goes with living in a fat body"........I would NEVER, NEVER, NEVER get fat! But....it happened. And....here I am. I also blame eating low fat and high carbs for the bast 15 years on my weight. I was NEVER a big eater or a junk eater.......I was a salad munching, pretzel and hot air popcorn crunching, skip lunching, kinda girl. It did not make sense to me.
Well.....this summer I put on my bathing suit (June 15th) and I about puked at the site of me. I was 5'9" and weighed in at 262 pounds. I HAD ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!! A co-worker had given me a copy of the Atkins Plan 2 weeks before and I pulled it out as a last resort. I had tried everything under the sun........and failed. The only way I had success was to starve myself. I gained on Weight Watchers.........I was hungry on Richard Simmons Deal a Meal.......I ate enough salad in my life that I should be GREEN....and no luck. Atkins was the answer and I thank the Good Lord that I found it!
I have taken off 38 so far. I get mad that it is coming off so slow. I am an "angel" on plan...so I feel like I DESERVE for the scale to give me more approval! Truly....I get sad that I pass up soo many goodies and 1 pound....1 pound 1 pound! I know that the scale is going LEFT for a change and that is oh so good. But, I get gready for more! Also, clothes fit better and all, and I am now in an 18 from a 20 or 22 so that is nice. But I get discouraged! But I will NOT give up!
I took the name 25_HOPEFUL because in 2003 we will celebrate our 25th Anniversary with a cruise. I want to be beeeeeeautiful on that cruise. I want to walk around in the body I was meant for. A size 14 will be wonderful. Anything less than that will be a bonus. This 18 is not me....but I am getting there. I recognize my face again....and when I look down at my legs....they are starting to look like mine....not my mother's. I cry for the fact that she has battled her weight all her life..........and has never gotten to goal. I do NOT want to be like that. I am MAD at myself for allowing myself to get to this weight. The "pill roulette", the anxiety, the metabolism,the heridity, the stupidity, the low fat-high carb mistakes, the crash diets.......they ALL played a part in this YO-YO game.
But, I am finally winning the game. I have the right TOOLS this time.--- Atkins, my wonderful and supportive family and friends, this site, this BUS, you fellow warriors.
We will all reach our goals together because we will not have it any other way. I read each and every word you all wrote. I see myself in your stories. I have cried your tears and you have cried mine. Nobody wants to be fat.
Dana (ALWAYS HOPEFUL!)
10-22-2001, 10:36 PM
Fear that i will get there
fear that i will not
fear that i will not look good
fear that i will
fear that i will be to old to enjoy what i should
fear of the attention
fear that i will not get it
I went to a wedding and had a great time onw thing that happened was that i could dance and still breath after several sets i even twisted for a whole dance non stop!!!!that is amazing but one thing that i did otice was i was starting to get attention from then men not because of my husband but because of me. even his boss. i wasembarased (secretly i love it) but it was some thing i had never experienced before!!! i always flirted and had great fun with the guys, but this time it was different. i am afraid of that.
i think that i am afraid of failure, what if i do not get there? i am puting my self ina position to make me get there, i would usually go just so far and then stop no matter what i did. that is not going to happen to me now i am going to make it all the way this time. i need to for me, not to a point that i think it is enough but to a point that i look good i want to draw the eyes from the crowd i wan the looks, i have never gotten them before an i want them now. I want it before i have a cane!! I want to help others, i want to see others make their dream, i am trying but it is so hard to keep the goal in site when so many things get in the way. thanks pam for this thread it is making me think again, i need it!!!
10-23-2001, 10:49 AM
Sweet Sue, it sounds to me more like a fear of success than failure. It is a human condition one that most people have but for us all it contains a twist. Why? Because we do want the attention and fear it at the same time. When success happens and all the attention occurs we find ourselves going a little nuts for a time. How many times have you seen that happen in others? I have seen it alot. My own Mom went through it. The clothes, the freedom , the attention all brand spanking new! Like discovering life for the very first time and we should expect a bit of that. It isn't a bad thing it is a learning process how to deal with life differently with all new choises and options. Choises and options that we have never had before. I think we fear our own reactions to it all. Even sexually. I know How much I love and value my Hubby and wouldn't trade him for anything. I also know that new challenges will occur men will show up to challenge me in this area and after starving for so long from the things our slender sisters take for granted....how will I react. It is all so exciting!!!!
But ......we are of an age to know and choose well not kids who will go off and not stop to consider the results of our actions. We have a lot more life experience under our belts and yes from time to time we have to reconsider and make decisions on what we want from life but that would be true anyway. That is normal to life. We are perfectly able to play well and not get ourselves in a problem. We have been alive long enough to know when to keep cool, when flirting is safe, and when to mind our p's and q's. We are powerful people who have learned much in lfe and will keep what we value safe and sound , including ourselves. We are women and women have a special insight that we can trust especially when you know your balance will be off for a time and you will be keeping tabs on ourselves. So the fear is really that we don't trust our own responses to a life unknown to us. That is only human and with little real basis. So enjoy and trust your knowledge you have a lot of it. More than you ever realized.
10-28-2001, 02:28 AM
AT THIS TIME MY BIGGEST ATTITUDE IS ANGER AT MY OWN BODY AND IT BETTER GET ITS ACT TOGETHER QUICKLY!!!!!!!!
Yes I am frustrated, yes Iam ticked off to the max and yes I am still on a wild yo -yo rollercoaster.
I am just to pissed off for words at this moment!
I am being royally betrayed by my own body yet again. I have put up with ( in good spirits) being nearly bedfast for 8 years
The loss of use of my hands for almost two years
Falling when I walked,
Passing out on a regular basis
pnemonia every six weeks for an entire year
loss of bladder control for over 4 years ( not any more Thank God)
numb legs ( also no longer an issue)
and horrifying back pain and nerve pain throughout my whole body just because.
RSD it is called
and a variety of other such nonsense all in good humor but this!!!!!!!
I demand this body get it's act together and drop this excess weight my mind is ther and my body had better jump up and follow suit or it is going to be really... really....hungry for a long ...long time!!!!