I am so excited, I got a new job which pays a third more than I am making now. The bummer is I have to put my kids in daycare. My daughter is going to flourish, she loves kids, people, she is outgoing (though a little strong-willed). I am worried about my son though. I know its because I never have had to leave him for more than an hour or two. SIGH. I know he will get used to it (atleast I am telling myself that) but I hate that someone else will be watching/raising my children. The daycare I chose is very well established with a great reputation, the workers were all nice and well informed, and trained. I have no doubt to their abilities. But, well I feel so guilty, I never really wanted to be a stay at home mom, but this year I worked it so I would be home (not pay every dime I made to a babysitter) This job is 4 days on 4days off so I will be home more, but at the expense of giving up my children 4 days per week. SIGH, I really cant wait to start at this new job though. 1 consulation for me is I get to pick up, not drop off.
Congrats on the new job! What are you going to be doing?
4 days on and 4 off sound doable. Will this be on weekends as well? If so, then there are 2 of the days that they will be home with you through part of your work.
I'm sure your son will be OK. It may be hard at first. He'll adjust.
Thank you. I am going to work for ocean spray on there Craisin line (mmmm). Its 4 days on 4 days off so when I work will vary. 3 month training though is m-f 7-4. At least I get to start putting them to bed.
Leaving the kids at daycare the first few times can be heartbreaking (thankfully you'll not be dropping them off!). I'm sure that the daycare will allow you to call in to make sure the kids are doing okay just to let your mind rest. I wouldn't try to talk to the kids, though--that would be hard for them to understand.
I worked full time since my kids were born. I know how hard it can be--especially when they are young. My DS had a lot of separation anxiety. He was in a home daycare situation around the block from my home and we're extremely good friends with the daycare person. She was so funny, she'd actually have to pull him off my leg!!! She would take photos and show me later all the fun he was having with the other kids. I have to credit her with so much! Both she and her various helpers (she had 2 or 3 during the years I took DS there) were great with the kids. She had 2 sons just the same a little older than mine and they were the ones that got him potty trained!!! By the time I took him out of there and put him in preschool, he knew his ABC's, could count to 20 in English and Spanish and could read a few simple words. Not bad for a 3 year old! Anyway, my kids are now 16 and 12 and very well adjusted and do well in new situations. I really think that putting them out there at an early age helped them to be independent and open to others.
Alinnell, You made me cry. Don't feel bad I am easily set off these days. Just sitting and playing with my kids I start to cry. I guess its just a sign that I love them.
Makenna was babysat in a "grandmas" home until just after Tommy was born (hes 15 months) Then I hated giving my paycheck for child care. (in the 3 hours I worked in the daytime, I made 27.50 and paid $25.) Then I went back to work after DH got off. I gave up those first 3 hours and pay a high school girl to sit for an hour a day (time between me being at work and DH getting home). So I have been home with Tommy and Makie for a full Year. I will miss my kids, but this job will be a great opportunity for me. I very much agree that daycare is great for kids, the socialization will be great for both my kids, and I toured the daycare and loved it. SIGH I think I am more worried about myself than anything.
One thing you said in your first post is absoluely NOT true. Putting your babies in daycare does not mean that someone else is "raising" your children. Part of raising your babies is making sure they are provided for. You aren't putting T&M in just any old fusty daycare. You found a great one with loving providers that will care for your children while you work to help provide them with more of the things they need and want. That is commendable, not passing off responsibility. I hated sending my first child to daycare, was worried about him getting more attached to the sitter than with me, but no matter how much he loved his childcare provier, his face lit up like fireworks the minute I hit the door.
Sorry I made you cry! But I know how you feel. And you're right, daycare is terribly expensive. I ran into an old coworker the other day who still has a little one in daycare. She was telling me the difference from when our common-aged kids were in daycare. Ridiculous. But I guess we all have to make money somewhere.
Ridiculous. But I guess we all have to make money somewhere.
I kind of take this to heart. People complain a lot about how much day care costs are. My take on this is.....these people are taking care of your most precious thing in your lives, your children....and yet that is always where folks want to cut costs. I know people who don't bat an eye at their $500 car payment, but the cost of their daycare they feel is unreasonable.
I have had an in home day care for many years now, and I have helped to raise many children. I think my biggest compliment was when one of my first children found out she was pregnant, she called me to see if I still had my business and if I would take her baby when he was born. I've done it long enough now that I now am watching a 2nd generation.
jc - you are lucky to find a nice place that will help to nurture your children - congratulations on your new job! NO one ever takes the place of Mommy, but knowing that your children are going to be with people who truely care for them is a wonderful gift you give them.
I guess I don't have much more to say other than the others said it all perfectly! I too was the picker upper, not the dropper offer and the BEST thing is when the children see you and their faces LIGHT UP and they say "MOMMMY!!!!!!!!" and throw themselves at you! Its so sweet. Well and yes, at first I interpretted that as relief, like I was taking them away from this place, but keep in communication with the workers, they would tell me all about how much fun they had, the nice things they did, etc.
And even if they do make a scene when you first drop them off, I swear they make that scene just for the parent! One time I forgot my scarf and went RIGHT back in, peeked in Rachel's door, and she was already laughing and playing. The daycare workers are really good at helping out with the transition, taking the child by the hand, distracting them right away, etc. Both the kids ended up not even fussing when we left.
Just make it through the transition, Maki will be fine, if she's anything like the stories you tell about her, she'll be a natural. And she'll love it. Tommy might just surprise you, Rachel did me. Post again on that first day and let us know how you do.
xoxoxxoxo
Thank you everyone. You don't know how much I apprieciate your words. I can't thank you guys enough, but I do feel better about it. They are going to get used to it and have fun, and we will all be better for it.
<The cost does suck, but they are providing so much for me I am willing to part with it, (sort of) My day care payment will be more than my house, car, utilities, granted my house and car payments are low compared to others, but WOW! I figure that 2/3 of my husbands monthly earnings will be going towards daycare, I just have to look at it as an investment in their future>
Are you or your husband able to participate in a dependant care spending account? I don't have any kids but I know my company has something where money is taken out of your paycheck pretax for dependant care which includes child care. So basically your childcare would be paid from untaxed income rather than taxed income.
If your company doesn't do that then you can also get additional refund dollars off a percentage of what you pay in child care when you file your taxes.
I tell you my daughters preschool is awesome. She has learned so much and is so happy. I do feel for you because I know how hard that would be but they will do great.
jcatron - I work for a resource & referral company for child care. Trust me, most mothers feel exactly the way you do. Guilt is a huge issue when sending children to day care.
As for your littler one who isn't used to day care, there are several great books out there for children that you could read to him, that talk about mommy always coming back and mommy always loving her baby even when she's away. (I can get specific titles if you're interested.)
On the upside - a 4 on 4 off schedule is rare and a GREAT find. A lot of mothers wish their employers would have flexible hours like that. Way to go!
Thanks you guys, I will definatly check out what my company offers on child care. As for the books, I have been talking to the kids about it. Makenna cant wait, everyday she asks to go, Tommy is more clingy than normal, but that is mostly because of his cold.
Daycare, SIGH
I guess its just a sign that I love them. 
Okay I feel more like I got this 
