I find that whenever I tell myself "okay today we're going to actively work on our diet" or "today im going to start" I seem to loose self control. It's like I've decided I'm going to fail so there is no point in trying. I start out good and by night fall I'm ready to go insane. I get sort of angry at my husband and everyone and then eat my emotions out. I start to think in sort of a rebelious way, "Damn it! I can eat whatever the heck I want to!" And the thing is it was me that decided to change my way of eating... and I do eat pretty healthy but by diet I mean not eating my usual deserts and cutting back portions (they're huge). :(
It just seems 100lbs is so far away....
01-29-2007, 01:58 AM
Man, I can understand completely where you're coming from. :hug:
I'm pretty much the same - I've lost count of the number of diets I've started only to blow them within the first few days.
This time I'm trying something different and rather than starting off full tilt, I'm making gradual changes. I'm changing one thing at a time and making that a habit before moving onto the next thing to change. I started off by making sure I ate breakfast every day and once that became habit, made sure I had 2 pieces of fruit each day, and so on. I've had slip ups, sure, but it hasn't been the "well now I've blown it completely, let's just forget the diet" train of thought that it would've been previously.
Maybe you could try something like that and seeing whether that works for you...
01-29-2007, 08:12 AM
Don't look at the big picture... it's important to have it in mind, but it can be so overwhelming that it stops you from ever starting. Everything we do seems daunting when you add it all up... imagine if little kids actually grasped the fact that they would spend the next 13 years doing homework and going to school! Think about spending 50 years in one job! I don't know about anyone else, but that makes my mind boggle O.O
Nicole's approach is a good one if you know that you're more likely to progress by making small changes. For me, I knew that I had to make an all-or-nothing start, or I would just be replacing one bad habit (say, too much fast food) with another (too much chocolate). So I banned all junk food (soft drinks, fast food, lollies, chocolate...) from my diet and made a committment to exercise for an hour a day.
Now maybe that's a bit extreme, but it can be done if that suits your personality. It sure as heck wasn't easy for me. I went from being a compulsive eater who had NEVER gone a day without binging in 5 years to that! So understandably the first few days were terrible, the first few weeks... I would be hit by massive cravings. But I'm happy to report that now they've died down beautifully! I'm absolutely amazed at how ambivalent my attitude is towards junk food now. You might find something similar happens with your views on portion size.
Maybe I'm rambling a bit, but I wanted to let you know that you're definately not alone in feeling like that, the first few days are a big hurdle. But please be reassured, after a few weeks it gets SO much easier and it's so worthwhile. You're worth it!
Maybe think, hey, I'll just give this a try for three weeks (or whatever amount of time you like). I owe it to myself to try for that long and if it's not working for me, I'll find another way. But just give it three weeks, because that time is gonna pass no matter what and when that day comes around, won't you be glad that you made the first step back then? Remember you are NOT a failure, you can do ANYTHING you put your mind to!
Good luck whatever you do, we're here for you :)
01-29-2007, 08:27 AM
I know that the first few days are very very hard for me too. I put things in a one hour at a time "I will eat only healthy things for this hour" and then do that all day after I do that for a while no real limit then I move on to for "today" I will eat healthy and move on to a "week" then I leave it at this week. I add in exercise when I feel like it is time, I am just starting that (so not much on that yet). I slip from time to time as we all do and I have to go back to one hour at a time or one day at a time but I have learned from all of my slips and I have had results even with them. You can do it!!!
01-29-2007, 09:17 AM
I am so with you on this one. 100 lbs is too much to take in! What I've done different this time (it's only been 2 week, mind you) is I'm taking it one month at a time. I'm so tempted to think beyond that.. but soon as I do I give myself an excuse to quit - saying it's too much. All I'm going to do is one month. My hope is that I will be successful this month - and be motivated from there on.
For my first month I'm taking it easy with calories. I aim for around 2000 a day. For a lot of people that may not seem like dieting. My days used to be around 3000+ calories.
Cut yourself some slack... and just take baby steps.
01-29-2007, 09:18 AM
When we look at the road ahead of us, it can be extremely overwhelming. What helps for me is to keep reminding myself that I'm not on a diet. A diet has a beginning and an ending. I am retraining myself to live a healthy lifestyle and this take practice and involves trial and error. This is not a race and this does not require perfection. There will be detours along the way as I learn what works for me and how I want to live the rest of my life. Yes, I want to be slender. I want it badly! But, my focus can't be only the weight loss. This last month has brought some amazing changes in my body and in my family. My stamina has increased, I can lift myself up from sitting a lot easier, my thinking is less foggy and my mood swings are gone because I stopped eating a ton of sugar. My hubby and oldest daughter have lost a lot of weight. Hubby is working out with me which means he is getting healthier, too. Hubby has become more attentive...if you know what I mean. :o
Please don't give up. Changing our lifestyles is not easy, but it is so very very worth the effort.
01-29-2007, 11:10 AM
:hug: I understand. I found that number so daunting when I first began. I really like what people have said so far - some people do well by making small gradual changes, while for others it has to be all-or-nothing. What do you respond to better? Go with that. Is it easier for you to exercise or cut back food? I would advise everyone to start with their strengths, so that when you begin to work on the harder parts you'll have some confidence and pride in what you've already accomplished. So if it's easier to exercise - start with exercise and when you begin to change what you eat, you may not feel so much pressure because you'll know that you're already "in the process of working to lose weight" so to speak. It may be something completely different - like maybe getting enough sleep so you have the energy to exercise or so it's easier for you to eat the way you want to. Maybe it is taking the time for yourself to deal with your stressors so you don't cope with them through food... Whatever it is, start with what is best for you. And always keep in mind that you don't have to have all of the information, knowledge, and ability to start - you just have to start. Nothing is set in stone - you can change whatever you want along the way and if it works, keep it - if it doesn't, change it again :) It's all up to you.
100 lbs seems like a lot, I know. Truthfully, it is a lot, but once you start it is not as hard as it may seem. Time will pass anywas and days add up to become weeks, then months, then years.. so if you focus on making healthy choices each day and continue, you will become much more healthy overtime and the pounds will come off in the process - today that may not mean much, but a year from now it definitely will. That time will come anyways, that year will come, and we could be stuck in this cycle at our current body sizes, weights, and healths, we could be gaining more, or we could be regaining a wonderful life and losing all the horrible things that come with being obese.
I know it's so hard to start, but it definitely does become easier :yes:. It is important to feel like you are not denying yourself things though... it's ironic, because in truth, we deny ourselves so much by staying at this weight or gaining more. There are so many things I have lost out on and not allowed myself because of this weight... that choosing to not eat a piece of cake or buy fries pales in comparison. And it's not like I never eat that stuff... but there's just so much more I want out of life than fries, you know?
Hang in there and stick with us :) I think being around this site just somehow kicks you into gear :lol: You can do this 100%. Have you seen people's Before and After pictures? I find that's always a super place to go to when I feel I need a great reason to stay on track. Just remember: you can do this, you can do this, YOU CAN ABSOLUTELY AND DEFINITELY DO THIS!! :D And we'll back you all the way :hug:
01-29-2007, 12:27 PM
I can relate to so much of your post and you got such great suggestions. One thing that has really helped me is reading success stories of those who have lost a lot of weight. I scour the web and buy magazines with success stories. The stories are inspirational. The tips are helpful. However, the biggest thing I've gotten out of them is the fact that these successful losers are not better, smarter or stronger than me. They are just committed to there program. That is it. The reason things haven't worked in the past is that I wasn't committed enough. I gave up on myself. I am just not going to allow that anymore. You deserve this and you can do it. Don't think of what you are losing or giving up. Think of the healthy and fit and strong you that you are building.
01-29-2007, 12:41 PM
Just take a look at your ticker...You have ALREADY made a great start with the loss of TWENTY-FOUR POUNDS! Do you realize that is 84,000 calories BURNED already?!!!:carrot:
You are ALREADY TWENTY-FOUR POUNDS closer to your goal than you were when you began!:)
You can do this, and you have ALREADY shown that you can by your great weight loss!
Go for it, girl! You already are on your way!:carrot:
01-29-2007, 01:47 PM
I think you're right those first few days feel like a lifetime and they are definitely the hardest ones you'll have to ride through. I think the all or nothing approach worked for me initially - it's good to have a clean break from your old habits so that you can stop the cycle of overeating the habits you've developed over the years. However, longer term I started to reintroduce former bingey foods back and learn to eat them moderately - this was hard and sometimes I overdid it but eventually I did learn to enjoy a little of these foods every now and and then. Figured if I'm going to do this for life there should be no foods that have such a power over me that I need to ban them. I've been at this for two years and still have bad days but think you just build confidence over time that you can get back on track easily if you want to. Wish you well in riding through the tough first few days/ weeks but it'll very quickly become a habit you'll see!
01-29-2007, 03:55 PM
I totally know what you are saying, and have definitely experienced the same thing more than once! I made a decision to focus on doing this for 4 weeks, I ditched all the sugar in my diet, all the pop, no artificial sweetners, I also went pretty extreme, but thats what I needed. The biggest decision I made was to be grown up about my cravings - I don't need to cave, I am in control of what I put into my body.. NOT fleeting moments of cravings. That was pretty huge for me.
You know how to lose weight, you've proven that by losing 24 pounds!! Congrats to that - just remember what you did, how you did it, and how it made you feel. You can do this!
01-29-2007, 06:06 PM
After losing 80 pounds I made the mistake of letting old habits creep back into my lifestyle. Several months later I'm battling 20 pounds to get back within a reasonable range of my goal weight. Today is the third day I've managed to stay on track - every hour of the past three days have required a conscious effort to stay in line.
Interestingly enough, the 20 pounds I'm facing right now aren't any less daunting than the first 80 that I faced two years ago. Losing weight is hard, period. Take every day minute by minute if you have to. And, even though it seems counterproductive, take the focus off of losing weight until you feel more confident in your ability to actually do it. To me, one of the biggest hurdles to losing weight is that there is no instant gratification to my efforts. Personally, I find it very discouraging that I can eat clean and exercise perfectly today and know in the back of my mind that clothes that were to big a year ago are still going to be to tight tomorrow. So, instead of focusing on how far I have to go I'm setting goals that I can meet by the end of each day and that are independant of the scale. I'm not ignoring the big picture all together - just breaking it down into more manageable pieces for the time being. So, instead of thinking to myself, "gotta go exercise if I'm going to lose weigh", - which I know won't happen for at least a week (and even then won't be noticeable except for the number on the scale) - I'm thinking, "Go exercise". That is something I can do RIGHT NOW that will make me feel good physically serve as an instant mental accomplishment.
I'm trying to think of losing weight as the by product of positive changes I'm making to feel good about myself and my health rather than making it the ONLY reason I'm making the changes in the first place.
01-29-2007, 09:17 PM
It just seems 100lbs is so far away....
It will be even further away the longer you wait. :hug:
Time is going to pass regardless. What you do today will directly impact tomorrow.
Don't think about 100 lbs. Weight loss is secondary. It's a positive side effect of eating healthy and exercising. We should be doing that anyway.
You are doing great, losing 24 pounds already! Like Cheryl said, that's 24 lbs less to lose. Please don't give up. YOU DESERVE IT!
01-30-2007, 12:58 AM
Wow, you guys have been really supportive and I love the suggestions. I'm going to start implementing them now. I think I'm going to make some mini-goals for each month. What has worked so far for me was really making a no junk food in the house rule (although its been broken periodically). I've changed everything we eat to whole foods & little to no processed foods & Kicked out juice! I'm still eating way too big portions, but I should be happy for where I've gotten to & that should be motivating in itself. I hope yall don't mind I'm going to post a link to this thread on my blog so I can check back at it for inspiration. :)