[RubyRedEmi]

Today is my first day that I am "struggeling" with my OE... I had made a nice dinner for a friend and her husband who are visiting from out of town, and I have been doing well, but afterwards I have been craving sweets, chocolate, something! I keep going to the cupboards and to the fridge, knowing that I did not buy anything sweet while I went grocery shopping. But the habit of it... I feel out of control, I almost got into my vehicle and drove to the gas station to get a snickers bar! I didn't... The craving is starting to surpass, but that feeling of being out of control! I hate it. I keep telling myself I can do it, it will work, give it time... But it's so hard. Which I know you all know how hard it is, but it was so hard to not get seconds at dinner... So hard not to grab another piece of garlic bread... so hard not to eat until I felt like I was going to throw up from being so full...

Ok. I feel better now. Sorry for venting, but I know you all understand that out of control feeling, and I needed to talk to someone! I hope you are all doing well, how are you all doing?

[charlenej]

Hi Emily,

I'm sorry you're having a bad day. Breaking out of the habit of overeating is so very hard in the beginning. At least it certainly was for me. Your body and your mind are adjusting. I remember going to the store and all of the junk food reaching out for me like I was in a bad dream.

Dinner parties can be hard. Especially in the beginning and maybe not having having certain foods around would be helpful. Maybe next time you can serve food that isn't as tempting for you as garlic bread (that would be hard for me too!)?

You are right...the more you work program and through it, I promise it does get easier. It's good that you gave the cravings/feeling time to pass!

Food is getting easier for me. I don't like being too full anymore. It's a miracle! I tried to start new habits in the beginnging as well like getting up off of my couch and taking a walk with my dog everyday and reading OA literature and inspiring things.

Have you gone to meetings? I can't remember if you said you had or not? If so, do you have a food plan or a sponsor or any of the literature? What about your HP (Higher Power)? These are all must have tools for OA.

Please vent anytime you need to.

Charlene

[marny]

Hey Emily-

You came to a good place. I come here too when I'm feeling squirrely. Charlene gave you some great stuff to think about. She's a smart lady.

A very wise person once taught me in an OA meeting to put a big sign in my refrigerator and cupboard that says, "It's not in here." So, whatever you might be looking for: comfort, love, distraction, or whatever, you'll be reminded that it's not in there.