General chatter - How to introduce my significant other




Jen415
01-02-2007, 11:29 AM
Hi y'all...I'm headed back to a "reunion" of sorts this coming weekend. This will be the first time that most of these folks will meet my "boyfriend". I'm looking for a better way to introduce him other than saying "This is my boyfriend." (I think I'm a little too old to have a boyfriend, but he's not my fiance (yet), but he's more than a casual aquaintance. In other words, we are in a long term relationship.)

So...I'm open to ideas....


phantastica
01-02-2007, 11:38 AM
The best I've heard is to refer to him as your partner. "Boyfriend" does sound kind of juvenile, and "significant other" is simply a mouthful. "Partner" is gender neutral and isn't dependent upon a marriage certificate.

In these parts, 'partner' has often been misinterpreted as a homosexual term, but that shouldn't matter because he will be with you.

GreatBigMonsterMomma
01-02-2007, 11:39 AM
How about by just using his name? That's how I usually introduce my husband. (And no, people do not always assume that is the relationship.)

Or you could always use paramour, which has a certain...je ne sais quoi.


techwife
01-02-2007, 11:55 AM
Jen: How old are you? I know boyfriend sounds kind of juvenile, but it also has a sort of fun valley girl thing to it that may instill a bit of jealousy to the long-time-marrieds. You could chew a big wad of gum, do your best Moon Unit impression and say, "This is my boyfriend..." with a toss of your hair...or you could use Sabra's option and just use his first name. Although the valley girl impression may instill said boyfriend to promote himself to fiance if you say things like "Grody" or "Gag me" while you talk to people. Just a suggestion.

I vote for just using his first name. Partner would have people wondering if he's had a sex change as that's what I equate to a gay couple. Significant other makes me think this is a couple that is boycotting marriage in lieu of a freestyle commitment. You might also consider roommate, main squeeze or lover...all which conjure up conflicting images.

I'd just go with his first name while holding his hand...if peopel want to know details, they'll ask.

Glory87
01-02-2007, 03:04 PM
Hi y'all...I'm headed back to a "reunion" of sorts this coming weekend. This will be the first time that most of these folks will meet my "boyfriend". I'm looking for a better way to introduce him other than saying "This is my boyfriend." (I think I'm a little too old to have a boyfriend, but he's not my fiance (yet), but he's more than a casual aquaintance. In other words, we are in a long term relationship.)


Ha, in an earlier post you used "SO" so carefully I thought you meant a lesbian relationship! How about just introducing him by his name and dispense with all the titles? How about "I'd like you to meet Dave (or Stan or whatever), we've been together for 4 years."

Jen415
01-02-2007, 03:24 PM
Sounds like just using his name is the way to go! Besides, most folks will figure out we are more than friends when they catch us making out in the hotel elevator! LOL

Techwife: I'm 41....smack in the middle of being middle aged! I remember Goldie Hawn calling herself Kurt Russell's "girlfriend" because it sounds really young and sexy!

Glory: Someone else thought I might have been a lesbian too! Only those who watch carefully and read my posts know! ;)

Phan: I've referred to him as my partner in the past--I may end up reverting back to that.

techwife
01-02-2007, 03:39 PM
Jen: I'm 41, also! And the Goldie Hawn theory is exactly what I was going for. Nothing wrong with your situation having a youthful air to it. And I've been known to make out with my boyfriend..I MEAN HUSBAND... on the elevator, too. :love: Just not when the kids are with us...I get the evil eye from my daughter.

almostheaven
01-02-2007, 08:47 PM
41 is middled-aged?!?!?! Did you have to tell me that? :(

I see nothing wrong with having a boyfriend at 41...at any age for that matter. But my 86 yo former neighbor called her boyfriend her "companion". Something new and different.

AmberD
01-02-2007, 08:56 PM
One of my professor's in college was forever referring to his 'partner'. I just assumed that he was gay. It wasn't until the very end of the semester that he threw a 'she' in there.

Turns out he'd been living with this woman for over 5 years and was having the same problem as you, he thought 'girl friend' to juvenile, so for lack of a better descriptor, he called her is partner. It confused my poor conclusion jumping brain.

Long story short: I think first name is the way to go.

EZMONEY
01-02-2007, 10:08 PM
HEY JEN I GO WITH INTRODUCING BY HIS NAME, FOR ME "PARTNER" IF IT IS NOT IN A WORK OR BUSINESS SITUATION MEANS GAY THESE DAYS. I WAS 40 YEARS OLD WHEN ANGIE AND I STARTED DATING 11 YEARS AGO, SHE ALWAYS INTRODUCED ME AS GARY, I WAS NEVER OFFENDED. I SUPPOSE MOST PEOPLE FIGURED OUT WE WERE A COUPLE PRETTY QUICKLY :devil: ;) YEP, SHE ALWAYS INTRODUCED ME AS JUST GARY, BUT THEN AGAIN MAYBE I WASN'T SIGNIFICANT :D

NewDay4MeToo
01-02-2007, 10:18 PM
I think just keep it casual and fun.
You could say
"This is my guy, ____"
"This is my man, ____"

Say it with a smile and a look at him and that will be all the explanation that is needed.

midwife
01-02-2007, 10:21 PM
I use partner all the time. I also never assume relationships (marriage, dating). Never assume the 18 year old guy standing next to the 18 year old girl in labor is her boyfriend. He could be, or he could be her brother, friend, step-father, father of her baby, or any combination of said relationships. But I digress from the topic.

Partner is easy and using it rarely causes confusion or chaos from my perspective. I don't think it implies gender. But it is also generic. These people will get to know your sweetie on a personal level. I think by stating his name, your actions and his will clarify the relationship.

teahoney
01-02-2007, 10:40 PM
I agree with just going with the first name although the valley girl impression suggested by techwife has piqued my interest. lol

Wolfena
01-03-2007, 03:06 PM
I say just introduce him by name.... if you feel the need to call him something else "partner" sounds pretty good.

Jen415
01-08-2007, 04:13 PM
Well gang, the reunion was last weekend. I ended up calling him boyfriend for the most part. Turned out to be no big deal either way.....;)

midwife
01-08-2007, 04:24 PM
It's funny the stuff we worry about, and then it is no big deal, huh? Hope you and your guy had a good time.

WildWoman
01-08-2007, 11:18 PM
Well I am 38 and my guy is 48-and "boyfriend" sounds juveline and "manfriend" sounds wierd. I have only been dating this guy since August-and am shocked how many people are already expecting to hear the "F WORD"!!


(fiancee) LOL
Enjoyed reading this thread-think I will just stick to his name.
CHEERS!
WW

BlueToBlue
01-09-2007, 02:35 AM
I've been in a long-term relationship for 11 years now (we've lived together for 6 years), so I've had to deal with this for a long time. I hate using the word boyfriend because it sounds like we just started dating, it doesn't really convey the depth of our relationship. And it also sounds juvenile.

I've also found that just introducing him by his name alone absolutely doesn't work. It's sounds good in theory but, in practice, people really want me to define the relationship and are uncomfortable if I don't do this. If I just introduce him by his name, I almost always get some sort of strange look at a minimum and at worst someone will go on to make a joke out of it.

So I go with "partner." It's true that this word is most often used in same0sex relationships but when I am introducing him to someone, it's pretty clear I'm not a lesbian because he's standing right there. When I'm referring to him in absentia, I figure 1) it's not the worst thing in the world for someone to accidently think I'm a lesbian (I mean really, what's the big deal) and 2) eventually, they'll figure it out. At some point, usually pretty quickly, I'm bound to refer to him by name or using the pronoun "he," and that clears up the whole question. Only once in the six years that we've been living together and I've been consistently using the word partner have I ever had to explain to anyone that I'm not a lesbian.

lizziness
01-09-2007, 03:10 AM
I think it's good to use the person's name. I find myself saying "my husband" a lot and it annoys me I don't know how other people feel about it. I just figure it's easier than explaining who Scott is for people who don't pay that close of attention to me (and i always assume they aren't hehe)

Anyway, Wildwoman, what you said about the "F" word is so true. Just wait... it's a never ending cycle. We moved in together it was when are you getting married? we got married it was when are you having kids? It just never ends! I am still trying to find the most appropriate comment for people to that question... i'm inclined to say - "since we're on the subject of progressing life milestones, when is your funeral?" but that seems a little harsh.. what do you think? *LOL* Seriously though, my mother in law buys gifts for our unborn children when we have told her several times we are not having kids. Bah! Sorry, didn't mean to take over the thread with my rant.

Name is the way to go. :)