I'm at my lowest, and I seek those who wish to help me...

[Aspen19]

Hello everyone...

I am here because I have fallen to the disgrace of an ugly monster and I'm finding it a enormous challange to figure out how to deal with it. I have come to the understanding that I am bulimic. I binge and binge....and then when I think about all the I have eaten...I get disgusted and I make myself hurl. This has been happening off and on for more than 7 months, and just recently it has been out of control.

I'm 5'7" and weigh 120 pounds (but thats scale....and in my eyes, I would like to see the flub turn into muscle) Over the last 3 years, I have lost 25 pounds and I did it in a very healthy way. But I just experienced a horrible breakup and I have become so depressed. And nothing is worse than seeing your ex with his new g/f when you've put weight back on. I eat roughly 4000 calories a day....and lately I have become so tired of making myself puke that I have deffinately put weight back on, since I cannot make myself expell the calories. But I still eat and eat and eat....and it's so frustrating. I cry everyday because every morning I tell myself that this will be the day that I change it for the better, but something usually triggers an eating attack. I worked so hard to get my weight off, and it was so easy, but it is now SO DIFFICULT for me to eat good and excercise every day like i used to. I eat fries, pastries, doughnuts, cookies, bread, pizza....you name it thats fattening and high in sugar...and it's usually been in my mouth.

Anyways....I'm looking for help....I'm looking for someone who will help me on a daily basis. I need a partner who has been/if not still is...just as frustrated and disgusted as I am. Becuase...I am sick of looking in the mirror and seeing something so hideous, yet I know is beautiful... :(

Aspen19

[gonzostar]

i just wanted to leave a note that i am hoping you get the support you need. i am at a different spot that you - i am a compulsive overeater but not a bullemic and i won't be able to offer what you want. don't lose hope.

[PamPSM644]

Those of us on the other end of the scale can understand better then you'd imagin.Our self image is the same and we use food in all the wronge ways.You must get into a program now Do not wait. It never gets better on its own.You must deside that you want to live then grab on tight to any and everything that may assist you to do that.Bless you in your strugle.

[wildblue_yonder]

Hi,
I hope you can find the strength you need to get through this tough time. Sometimes we go through extremely hard times in our lives but we have to keep in mind things will change, they seldom stay the same. I think many of us here have been overeaters. I have never been bulimic but have thought about the process because I wanted to be thin so bad. The problem is bulimia causes many other problems health wise and that is too costly a price to pay. At least you are talking about it and can see what you are doing, that is a step forward.
Remember, this too shall pass!

God Bless, Kim :coffee2:

[KimmyAnn47]

Also a compulsive overeater, not bulemic, though it certainly has looked appealing at times. I belong to an OA group, and there are TONS of recovering bulemics in the group, many with a lot of time since their last binge as well as their last purge. If you have not tried Overeaters Anonymous, please consider giving it a try. It has worked for so many others, maybe it will work for you too! There is hope! Kim

[Peg]

Hi aspen19,

I'm a newly returner to this website. I read your post and wanted to respond to you to say I understand how you feel. :( but hang there, I know it's easier said than done. Anything worth having takes time and effort :strong:
I turned 43 years old this month,:eek: belileve me you have lots!!! of time to find Mr.Right, but first you have to take care of you, only you, then when he does come along the relationship will be wonderful :dance: but, until then, you need to take care of what is bothering you.

Take Care

Peg