comfort foods for stress

[sweetpea00]

I have a very chaotic life style and my biggest problem is when I get stressed which is often I want to eat. It is a comfort thing for me.

I have a high stress job and two teen age kids. There never seems to be a slow moment even on the weekends. It is just go .go .go all the time. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can get past the wanting to eat all the time just to comfort myself because my life style is crazy?:?:

[rochemist]

A failure to plan is a plan to fail. Quit grabbing and going and find a way to plan what you will eat. When something is really important to us we do it. I started getting up at 0430 so I could cook for myself everyday. And I run, run, run, until 1800-2200 hours everyday, but now I have healthy, good tasting, non-sugary (sugar and stress and you'll just eat more) foods.

Miss Chris

[OnMyWayDown]

I have the same problem. I have learned that when I feel that hunger pain to stop and think, "Am I really hungry, or am I eating for comfort?" Nine times out of 10 realizing what is about to happen and stoping and making my self think about what Im about to do stops me. It makes me think "Ok instead of eating, Im going to....." I normally will get a big glass of water and sit down with my book. If you have the time to stop what you are doing and fix or get that comfort food and eat it, then you have the time to do something else. And if all else fails and you must eat, try to have something healthy to eat.

Rhiannon

[ellis]

Darn! When I read the title of this thread, I thought we were going to make a list!
Let's see:
- chips
- chocolate
- bread and butter
- mashed potatoes
- toast
- rolls
- garlic bread
-

Sweetpea, I know it's not the greatest thing for me, but I'll make myself a small pot of coffee. I LOVE coffee, and it gives me a bit of a lift.
And yes, like the other girls said, plan ahead. Keep some good, healthy foods on hand. Something that you LIKE!

[rochemist]

:lol: YOU FORGOT BRIDGE MIX!

What the heck are comfort foods anyway? They never give me comfort just indigestion, gas, fat, and lazyness. Its stuffing all the feelings down and medicating with simple sugars that make it comforting.

This is me drunk on ice cream,"Do whatever you want, I just don't care" :(

Miss Chris :grouphug:

[ellis]

This is me drunk on ice cream,"Do whatever you want, I just don't care" :(

Miss Chris :grouphug:

I hear ya! When I've got low fat/low cal ice cream in the freezer plus high fat/high cal for the kids (like Smartie, Rolo, After Eight...) and I'm feeling crappy, which one do I eat? duh.

[cyndi7]

I just joined here today. I came to this topic because that's what I do too! :( I use food (mainly chocolate and sweets) for my comfort and stress food. I'm addicted to chocolate, so much that now I actually am starting to hate chocolate, but I still use it for stress anyway. :( I know I should keep healthy snacks around, but they don't do what chocolate does :nono: I hope I get to the place one day where I have gotten over chocolate, I don't need it, crave it, or want it. Ever. :)

[ellis]

Cyndi, welcome! :wave: I'm eating chocolate as we "speak". :rolleyes: We have a daily thread in you'd like to join us... come on over!

[ellis]

Make that weekly. :D

[rochemist]

Welcome Cyndi! Please join us on the the weekly thread on the EDS board.

Chris

[funniegrrl]

To me, this problem has to be attacked on several fronts:

First, look for things that will satisfy the urge but involve little or no calories. If you're a person who likes to crunch away stress, keep a bowl of ready-to-grab crisp iced vegetables in the fridge. Will this satisfy you as much as a bag of Doritos? No, not at first, but you can teach yourself to find them satisfying. If you want something sweet, try a hot or cold beverage with artifical sweetener. In the winter I like the fat-free, sugar-free hot chocolate mix that's only 25 calories per serving.

Second, you have to find ways to "comfort" yourself that don't involve food. This can take some trial and error, and you have to resolve to put up with some discomfort while you search for the best solutions. But, you have to find other ways to get a similar effect. Face it, if you are using food as a coping mechanism, you can't just take away the mechanism without replacing it with something. So, when you have that urge to eat ... either do something to distract you/keep you busy, or something that has a calming effect. That could be anything from reading, to housecleaning, to yard work, hobbies, walking / exercising, washing the car, meditation, doing your nails, whatever. You may say, "But I'm too busy for that, I just want to eat on the run." Well, obviously, it's your choice. But you have to find stress management techniques that will diminish the need for food if you want to beat this. If you just stuff it down without replacing it, you'll only increase the stress level and one day you'll wake up and find yourself in the middle of 987 empty Krispy Kreme boxes. I think a lot of women are overweight through stress eating simply because they refuse to take time for themselves and declare that they deserve time & attention like everyone else. If your whole life is devoted to serving other people, then you are a fairly poor servant if you refuse to take care of yourself. You may need to mark out specific times of the day as "me time" to help deal with the stress issues. It's hard for any of us to say what techniques might work for you, but you have to apply some creativity and problem-solving thinking to this, or you'll just spin your wheels.

This leads to the third point, which is to look for ways to reduce the stress at its source. What can you and your family do to make life more serene? This is a big, complicated topic, but I think it's crucial. If you job is extremely stressful, maybe it's time to consider other employment. If family life is chaotic, how can you change things to make it less so? Let's say there is something that causes you stress, and you really truly cannot change anything about it. Then, look at how you can change your reaction to it. If your boss makes steam come out of your ears every time he walks by, then figure out how you can let go of those emotions and find a way react differently.

In all of these areas, I think journaling is crucial. If all you can say is, "I'm an emotional eater," all you've done is admit you are a human being. In order to conquer this problem, you have to figure out what you are reacting to, what the reaction is, and why that makes you want to eat. Sometimes you have to journal for a while before you can see patterns. And, admittedly, looking deep into ourselves can be painful. Often we don't want to do that kind of interior work, we just want to have a quick magic answer. The first two points here are more along the lines of practical strategies, but unless you couple that with a journey of self-discovery and management, you're only solving half the problem.

[Reaferg]

Right now what comforts me is Hot Tamales the super hot ones O M G too good. Can't eat chocolate I'm beastfeeding. Otherwise I'd be eating that. And butter bread it's the devil :devil:. :)

[cyndi7]

funniegirl, are you really Oprah? :D

Just kidding, but that does sound very similar to what Oprah expresses to her viewers, and by the way, I love Oprah! :D

Everything you said makes sense, funniegirl, the problem is, figuring out a way to deal with it, I hear what you are saying and agree with you, but everytime I get motivated and really want to try, I do well for a few days, sometimes even a few weeks, lose a few pounds, sometimes lose a good amount, like 10 or so pounds, but then something happens to make me fail, or should I say, I "allow" myself to fail.(and then gain it back, or some of it anyway) :( It's such a cycle and pattern with me. I take responsibility for it though, I know it's my fault, and my failure, I just can't seem to be and stay consistent. :(

I joined here in hopes that people here will truly understand that pattern, and find encouragement in that. This seems like a great place, and I'm thankful that I saw this site (which was in a magazine in Borders book store). :)

Thanks to everyone here who participates and takes the time to share and express their feelings, and encourage each other. :)


cyndi oxo :goodvibes

[Jennelle]

I think one thing that we forget in all the behavior modification tricks is that, for some people, certain foods contain certain chemical compounds that wreak havoc on our biochemistry. Being "addicted" to chocolate (or sugar or carbs) is absolutely no different, biologically, than being addicted to alcohol or drugs. When you are biologically addicted, no amount of sugar-free, fat-free anything is going to help. It's the chemical compounds in the chocolate that are doing it, and for severely addicted people, the reaction to chocolate in sugar-free chocolate is no different from the reaction to chocolate in "real" chocolate. When you're at this point (as I am) the only sane and rational choice is to just give it up completely.

Welcome to our board, Cyndi! :)

[cyndi7]

Jennelle, you are so right! I tried getting Russell Stover sugar free chocolate one time, and I found myself eating the whole bag of that too, which has calories even though it says sugar free. You are very right, and it truly does effect me like alcohol and drugs. I (unfortunately) did them when I was young (before married and being a Mom) and it seems like when I left "that" addiction, I turned it over to chocolate and sweets. I really "want" to give up chocolate and sweets. I don't even like chocolate anymore, because I feel like I am abusing my body when I eat it. It used to make me feel good, now it just makes me feel bad and guilty, but yet I keep abusing my body with it. :(

Thanks so much for your reply! :)


cyndi oxo
and thanks everyone for the nice welcome! :)

[funniegrrl]

Yup yup yup, physical addiction to certain foods -- especially carbohydrates -- is a very real phenomenon. There's a book called Anatomy of a Food Addiction that explains this in detail.

And no, I'm not Oprah, far from it. And, I understand the cycle, because I've lived through it many times. What I'm saying is that it is possible to BREAK the cycle with the right mindset and the right tools. WHY do you "let yourself fail?" What is it that allows you to do well on a program, then fall off and never get back up again? Only you can answer those questions, but until you do, the cycle will just repeat. You say you get where I'm coming from, but you can't do it. You can't plan, you can't think of alternatives, you can't work on stress reduction, you can't journal? You're waiting for a magic wand to wave over your head and make everything different? And if that doesn't happen, you're just going to throw up your hands and quit?

The way I broke the cycle was by finally realizing deep down that I could not "go on a diet" and "lose weight." I was so deeply mired in my fat, compulsive overeating way of life, and in being vastly overweight, that the only way out was through approaching this like a disease. In previous weight loss attempts I, like most people, assumed that I would eat a certain way for a while, lose weight, and when I reached my goal I would be magically transformed into a person who naturally ate properly. When something happened in my program that showed that magical transformation wasn't taking place, that I was still the same person with the same impulses, I became discouraged and quit, either all at once or gradually. What I finally realized was that I would ALWAYS be the same person with the same impulses -- that was never going to change. But, I could work on how I reacted to those impulses. That meant a LOT of self-observation, self-learning, conscious effort, and planning, planning, planning. I had to be CONSTANTLY aware of what was going on in my brain and whether it was leading me the wrong way. I had to learn to recognize which thoughts were destructive and which were helpful. I had to make a conscious effort to think more helpful thoughts, even if I didn't really feel that way.

What it also meant was that I could not go on another diet. It DID mean that I had to find a way to manage food -- and my illness -- for the rest of my life. I thought about people who have, for example, diabetes. If they want to be healthy and manage their disease, they don't really have the option of "falling off the wagon." If they make a slip, they can't just say, "Oh well, I give up." They have to get back on the wagon the very next day, if not the very next bite. I had to approach my problem in the same way. When you look at this as a LIFESTYLE CHANGE, and not a diet, the wagon gets a lot bigger and more secure. You may get jostled around a bit, but there's more padding. And, if you do fall off, it's a lot easier to get back on.

This is where that demon "all or nothing thinking" is so hurtful. When you are trapped in that mindset, you assume that doing things perfectly is the only way, and if you can't do it perfectly, there's no point in even trying. That is a load of hogwash, and I should know -- it kept me fat for 39 years. You have to teach yourself to think differently; even if you slip, even if you slip every single day, it's still worth the effort to get up in the morning and try again. If you are approaching this as a new lifestyle, then overeating one day is no big deal. If you are on a diet, ruled by the scale and timetables and perfectionism, then one day of overeating is a disaster.

If you haven't already seen this, I highly recommend the book The Thin Books by Jean Eddy Westin. She is an OA member, and I found a wealth of information and encouragement there.

[carito]

I feel you on this! We all look for sources of comfort when we're nervous. Seeing as I am not a very sociable person, I don't like relieving stress in groups, and food is on my Worst Stress Relievers List. I am a new member, but here's what I think about it:

When I prepare for tests or freak out about something, fridge seems like the comforting thing, but sometimes taking a cool shower or throwing out old stuff helps a lot more in terms of making me feel better. I noticed this about myself that I am especially compelled to eat extra on two circumstances: when I am with friends or family, eating socially (like ordered pizza or birthday cake), then the best thing you could do is grab a *small* bite to please people and swithc to tea or coffee or water, and the BIG one, stress eating. Exams, college applications, anything that makes me nervous. It is worse when I am together with someone, as in a study group, then I seem to want to eat more.

What worked for me a number of times was taking a walk outside, a cool shower, or doing something alone which is meaningful for me but for which I usually don't have time, like throwing out old stuff, deleting old files, rearranging my books or clothes. Washing the dishes, however much I hate it, occasionally works too. Turning up the music and dancing for fifteen minutes instead.
The basic idea is a distraction that appears to consume all of attention and that you view as introducing improvements in your life. It helps to relieve my negativity often.

As funniegrrrl said, some foods like veggies or low-carb nutritional bars, or even a bottle of water or low cal drink that is nearby (brush the teeth after that!) can be of great help.

Strategically, choosing a place to study or work away from the fridge is best. Maybe going to the study hall or library where foods are not allowed can be a precommitment, a deterrent from eating. Another thing, maybe it's just me, but when I am engrossed in something like a cool movie, I have the popcorn effect, and I grab whatever food is nearby. So I stock myself with a plate of vegetables or low cal crackers and water before taking off to watch videos. It's not really stress, but it's a bad habit I guess.

A small thing that can also help is putting away the plates or trays with the remaining food in the fridge or anywhere out of sight and leaving only the portion you want on the plate. Say, I put a serving of salad, and I remove the tray from where I can easily grab it and add another helping. Maybe, skipping the pastries or cookies and other high cal junk carb products section when shopping in anticipation of a long stressful day at home or at work.

Overall, it's what I noticed about a good friend of mine, when she overeats on a given day and notices that, she tends to stress out even more, and then eat a lot more following "it doesn't matter, I exceeded my limit anyway" philosophy. So, maybe if you ate a few extra snacks or a sandwich that wasn't pre-planned, just let it go and think of replacing the dinner with a lighter dish, but not let the stress mount solely because of that. The self-fulfilling eat more-stress out-eat again circle can lead to undesirable weight ups.

[Hunskie]

Oh yeah.... same boat... If there's a choice between chocolate and something healthy to ease my stress, I know I'm gonna reach for that chocolate bar, even if I have to hop in my car, drive five miles to the nearest store at 11 pm to get it ;)

Now if I went with the theory of chocolate is the same stimulant as sex, my husband would be a very happy man! :lol: