Discussion 4- Key Three: A No Fail Environment

[Angel26519]

Hi Everybody!

I thought I would go ahead and open up this discussion for everyone.... I know there are lots of you that are ahead.

So post away! :)

[sflake]

Hi Everyone, newbie here. Just got my book & got caught up with the reading. I have read some of the other posts and there is some amazing stuff written. So glad to be among you all. :D

I think I can deal with a junk cabinet that I just don't go into. I do the shopping but we are all adults in my house. So I buy the junk cuz, yanno it IS for them. From now on I simply will not buy the junk. If my family wants it they can have it, but they have to get off their butts & go buy it themselves and I will stay out of their cabinet.

I have already done the big clothes thing...gave away 3 large bags.

[Mima]

I have finished the book and I absolutely loved it but following it is harder-I got rid of my size 14 jeans-3 pairs-signed up for the pool-all food out of sight-following healthy eating but not eating enough protein and vegetables and too many carbs. Can't eat dairy. I'm also allergic to husband's snacks. I want to make this weight loss permanent-I am only 2 lbs to goal but would like to lose 3 more. Bye for now Mima

[diphthong]

Mima, try upping your protein with Whey Protein Powder, mixed in cold water and a little crushed ice. That is, if you can tolerate whey. Food allergies have got to be the pits. Best wishes for your success!

dip

[nanj]

This "no fail thing" has been interesting for me. I wish I could throw out my large clothes, but dang it they still fit me! I will have trouble with throwing them out, because of past experience. I lost a 100# once and got rid of all my "fat clothes" and gained it all back and not put very much expense into my wardrobe lately. If I could fit into my scrubs, well that was good enough. Everyone in my family has told me I need some new clothes, but I just say I am not going to buy any until I'm thinner. My coat is 8 years old. I found one on sale for $110 and it was beautiful and it actually fit me and at my size that is a miracle in itself. My husband was angry because I wouldn't buy it. My response was "I won't be this fat next year and I'm not going to spend that much on a coat." I thought about this and realized my school of thought on this was: 1. I'm not worth 110 dollars
2. If I bought this coat I might still be in that size next year! What a defeatist attitude, so negative. Well, I'm still not buying a new coat this year, but I'm buying a beaut next year and I'm going to spend $120 on it, LOL, and it will not be a size 28-30 it will be a 12-14 size maybe even smaller!

I realize how much food I have squirreled away around this house. If it is on sale I buy it, might never use it but it is there. Now what is that all about? I'm gonna go through my freezer and cupboards and pitch it or give it away. We were so poor when we were kids and I guess I'm afraid that I will not have enough. I heard somewhere that you have 60,000 eating experiences in you life and evidently I have been trying to cram them in all at one time. I've got such an obsession with food! Now to break that! Find that I am still trying to eat by the clock, rather than by true hunger! But, trying to space it 5 hours apart with no eating in between, and not eat over 500 cal. at a setting. Usually, I stay around 400 cals. and that leaves me enough cals. left over to eat an apple or two.

You all hang in there! I think about everyone of you and have put you all on my pray list.

[diphthong]

NAN! That's exactly what I used to do! Buy all this food on sale and had it everywhere. My cabinets were stuffed, and it was piled up in the basement too. And I would keep buying more and more. I have done this for at least 8 years since moving into this house. We even have a 2nd side by side refrigerastor in the basement, and a large freezer in the garage.

BUT, when I decided to change, all the food went. I cleaned the kitchen cabinets out, and use a cabinet that's out of the way for baking stuff. I also emptied the basement shelves, both friges and the freezer. All the illegal food, and most of it was, went to my son and his fiance. They are still eating it, and that was in July, and before Dr. Phil. It was something I knew I ad to deal with and DO.

I figured out that I did this too because of events in my childhood. My mother did groceries on Saturday, and all the goodies were gone by Monday. But my best friend's house always had plenty of food - whatever you had a tase for was there. This really impressed me, so when I became a domestic goddess, my house always had plenty of food, when I was married anyway. When I was a struggling single mom in between marriages, it was different, but we ate fast food most of the time because of my schedule.

Trick is you recognize WHY you keep all that food. I can attest, you can't eat what's not there. So the decision is up to you what to do with it. If you can't handle grocery shopping until the new habits kick in - get someone else to do it for you from your list.

As for the coat, and you not being worthy of a $110.00 coat is absolute bull. You are worthy of a $1,10.00 coat! So go back to the store, find one in the next smaller size, and put it in layaway. Use it as a goal. That's what I did back in March and continued all summer. I'd put smaller clothes in layaway, because if I didn't make the goal by the time came to get them out, I could always get my money back. And I will tell you, I got all the clothes out, and a good portion of them are already in the give away pile. When the summer clothes went on clearance, I picked up several items in sizes 12 and 14. They are mine, they hang there where I look at them at least weekly, and I can imagine what I will look like in them. I bought a cute pair of capris, in size 14 that I use as a "pantsometer." When I bought them in July, I couldn't get them on all the way. Now they are on but too tight across the butt. My mantra through all this has been, "Wait until they see me next year."

I am currently in a challenge on the Buddy Forum where I promised myself a black leather jacket if I make my 10/31 goal. (That's why I have all the numbers under my signature.) I tell ya, these little mind games work! Please don't use your past experiences with this new way of living and eating. Wipe the slate clean, one step and one day at a time. To avoid eating between "clock" meals, forget the clock for sure, and try eating smaller meals 5 or 6 times a day. I had to do that when I started weight lifting because of the necessary protein intake. It took me awhile to get used to, and some days I can only force down 5, but it is doable. Some nights I will just have a big bowl of vegetables and mozerella cheese for supper while my husband eats because my calorie or carb intake is close to max. For dessert or evening snack, I have a sugar-free fudgesicle, or SF Jello or a cup of Fat free hot chocolate.

It took me months to get the right eating and exercise plan under my belt. (No pun intended.) Every body is different and you have to search, research and experiment to find what's best for you.

If *I* can do this, anybody can. Don't think for a minute that me or anyone else doesn't fall off the wagon now and then. Every day is a new chance to climb back on.

dip

[Libra925]

Dip, I love your posts. You always have so much to offer us and your words are very motivating. You are so close to ONEderland. I would be so excited! I'm happy today because I'm at 279. No more 280s for me! I'm on vacation next week and don't plan to weigh in again until October 29. I KNOW I'll have a good loss. Vacation is being spent at home starting projects for Christmas so I won't be tempted by vacation food and I always drink lots of water when I'm home. I find it's very hard to sew and eat at the same time!

I don't have any fat clothes other than the ones I'm currently wearing! I do however, have a few dresses a couple of sizes smaller that I plan to wear again before spring. I have a great red dress that I hope to wear by Christmas, but know I'll wear it by Valentine's day. I can't wait to get rid of the clothes I'm wearing. They are soooo old and I'm sooooo tired of them!!

Have a great evening.

Marilyn

[diphthong]

Marilyn, very sweet of you to say that. I hope I'm not coming acrossed as a 'know-it-all'. I just want to share my journey with you all because I know this stuff works. I have a mentor here at 3FC who has inspired me and keeps me going, We believe in the philosophy of 'passing it on,' and that's what I'm trying to do. So I am making myself available to anyone who is serious about changing. Feel free to PM me any time, anybody. And look at you, already losing and setting goals! Put that red dress out where you can see it often, even if it's just a glimpse each day. Use it as a meauring stick. Go ahead, put it on, and try it on again after your next weigh-in. Pick out the shoes, and jewelry. Imagine your holiday hair and try new make-up ideas. When was the last time you took a few hours in the bathroom experimenting with hair and make-up, like we did as teenagers? Another great thing about the journey is when *you* accept that this is about you, for you, nothing else matters time wise. Those who depend on you will respect and accept it once they see you are serious.

>>"I am learning to be patient and compassionate with myself as I gain the courage to be true to myself. "<<

The courage to be true to myself. Wow, that is so true. And the patience? I'm swiping this from another lady in another forum where I hang out:

>>". . .a great story that has been told many times about Thomas Edison. It seems that he ran into an acquaintance who asked him how he could remain so enthusiastic about his work, when, despite countless experiments, he didn't have any results to show for it.

"Results!" he cried. "Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things that won't work."

That's us -- we're learning what won't work. And those are really really valuable lessons."<<

Oh, and about approaching 'ONEderland' - I am scared. I am now at the weight I was 11 years ago when I got married. But because of exercise and weight lifting, I know I don't look the same 11 years ago as I do now. I feel like I can do anything compared to 6 months ago, when my butt was so big, I knocked stuff off shelves in stores with it. I am afraid that I will accept this as comfortable and good enough, but in my heart I know it's not. At last check, my body fat was 32%, and that's not lean enough for my age healthwise. So right now, that's the thought that keeps me going. And all those size 12 and 14's! And my mentor. And Dr. Phil.

Have a safe and healthy day!

dip

[Rowan Bailey]

This is a great chapter, I have been working this one for sometime now. I did a post under the first chapter about when I quit smoking, and I, on my own, applied these exact principles in doing that. It absolutely works.

I just made my environment support that I don't smoke, and it did make it MUCH easier. I have applied those priniciples in how I stock my kitchen. If I buy a box of cookies, I will eat them over the course of a day or two until they are gone, I cannot eat just one or two at a time. I have learned that when I want cookies, I go to the bakery and buy 2 cookies, this way I don't give myself the chance to overeat. I learned this from a trainer/food coach that I worked with years ago.

I always order special off the menu and order special meals on the plane, and do my best to keep to the three bite rule when I eat of with deserts.

But, even though I have this down, the other issues are still stronger and keep the weight on, but I feel that this key is a necessary tool to support all of the other keys.

I did however get an immediate headache after looking at the next key.....can't even remember what it was, so it must be a major one!!!

Happy reading...
rb

[diphthong]

Rowan, Thanks for reminding me about the 3 bite rule! I haven't applied it for awhile, and this is a good time for me to start again!

dip

[Libra925]

What's the three bite rule?

Rowan, I can really relate to the cookies. I have conned myself into thinking I can "eat just one" so many times. I know that if I can just have one or two cookies, my sweet tooth with quiet down. Wrong!! I'll plow through that package like a addict. I guess I am somewhat of a sugar addict, though, since I have so much trouble getting off of it once I eat it again. Anyway, I now simply don't buy the stuff. When the cravings hit in the evening, I'm too lazy to go to the store to satisfy them. I ate some dry wheat chex last night when the craving started. Not quite the same as sweets but at least the need to nibble was satisfied.

Marilyn

[ShihtzuX2]

dip -

I just had to laugh at the line about "when my butt was so big I knocked stuff off the shelves in stores."

I thought I had the patent on the "shelf-cleaning ***."

Seriously, this thread has really been inspiring.

I'm coming to the realization that part of making my no-fail environment is going to have to be limiting my baking. I LOVE to bake!!! Esp. when the fall weather comes on. On "Cooking Thin" Kathleen Daelemans said she had the same problem when she was fat, saying there's something soothing about the "rhythm of the kitchen." There IS something soothing about those repetitive hand motions (like stirring --- and eating!).

Sometimes I've been baking bones for my and my friends' dogs, just because I want to bake--and there's nothing tempting in the dog treats for me if I don't use peanut butter in them.

I've learned to ask myself when I'm in the store and feel an attack of "junk food lust" whether I'd be able to limit myself with that food in the house or am I already, in the back of my mind, planning a stress-relief binge. If the answer is the latter, I don't buy it.

I think the thing that makes permanent weight loss/weight control so tough is that it demands all those noble virtues that are sometimes just downright inconvenient or painful to practice: courage, discipline, honesty, determination.

[diphthong]

>>"I thought I had the patent on the "shelf-cleaning ***.""<<

Sami, ROFLMAO! Great post, too! And we have that Fall baking thing in common, and dog treats is an excellent idea! And since I have 6, I'm going to do a google search for some recipes. See! We learn new tricks each day, from each other to kick the old habits. Yipppeeeee!

Marilyn - the 3 bite rule is to help in not depriving yourself. You see something you really want, but know it's not what you should have. So you take 3 bites, putting the fork or spoon down in between bites, savor and enjoy. When you finish the 3rd bite, throw the treat away, down the disposal or give to someone who will eat the rest and send them out of the room. (DH comes in handy for that.) You've tasted it, savored it, enjoyed it, but didn't eat enough of it to do much damage. This works well if you are dining out and just have to have that dessert, or live with people who are not eating your new way.

Something my husband tipped me about that I had no idea. Ever go out to eat, you're hungry. and that salad or appetizer tastes so good? Well, it's a physiological thing. When you're hungry, your taste buds are heightened. Just part of the wonderful way our bodies work. By the time you get to the main course, taste buds are calming down. By dessert, taste buds are at minimum because your stomach is full. He told me this after I had eaten 3 desserts at a buffet, and I commented that they didn't taste as good as I thought they would (eyes) and that the salads tasted much better. That would have been a perfect time for me to exercise the 3 bite rule instead of finishing them off, even though I was full.

dip

[Summerlover]

Dip, thanks so much for the cyber hugs!

I have no fat clothes to toss out...I'm wearing them...and somehow I just don't think that walking around nude is what Dr. Phil had in mind!:lol:

My kitchen is mostly legal except for some goldfish crackers my DD likes to snack on. Every once in a while, my DH (he does the grocery shopping) comes home with junk, and I yell at him. Shortly thereafter, I'm stuffing it down my throat...especially if it is chocolate.

I thought this chapter was good, but not as helpful as the last one, "Healing Feelings." Now that was profound!!!

I don't have much time during the week to read, because I have so much schoolwork to take care of (I'm a teacher) during the week. But this weekend, I will try to find some time for the next chapter.

You are all wonderful, and your postings have been very inspirational. Thankyou!

Summer

[ciecie]

i have never been one to eat and watch t.v. and at the sametime so having the t.v. as a food free zone is no problem for me. when my folks are having their snacks at happy hour, i just go upstairs and get on my p.c. if the weather is decent, i'll go for a walk instead.

[Summerlover]

Well, today my assignment is clearing off my dining room table so that we can eat all of our meals there from now on. I wish I was doing this in the summer...then we could eat on the front screened in porch or on the back deck. Now we have one choice. That is okay. I should be grateful that I have a dining room.

On to the next chapter!

Summer

[diphthong]

I don't know why but I had a hard time parting with my clothes. I made 2 piles - Resale Shop and Goodwill. They have sat there in my BR for over 3 weeks, and each day I woud tell myself I had to deal with it but couldn't.

Yesterday, I brought out the winter clothes and added to the piles. Once I got going, it was easier than I thought it was going to be. I think I had such a tough time with it was that there were so many beautiful things, much of which I barely got to wear. (Don't ya resent the people who design such beautiful plus sizes now?) Everything has been bagged and boxed and will be dropped off tomorrow. Again, I feel relieved. Now if I can just get a little head way on this office turning back to a diningroom!

[FrouFrou]

I have been lurking a bit here and just reading what everyone else has to say. You ladies are very inspiring and Dip your posts as always blow me away. I think the way you do but when it comes to say it, well, the words don't flow. :lol:

Anyway, I am having a hard time with the clothes. For a very, very long time, even when I was smaller I have always worn and loved the comfort of wearing big shirts, even mens shirts. I always buy things a size or two bigger, doesn't make since. I think though for so many years I have just been so self-conscious of my weight and body that I am really hiding. Actually I know I am. I just don't feel the need or desire to show off all my fat. But I have been looking at pitcures and boy, what a wake up call. I know I am overweight but I don't have to look like a blimp or a bag lady! So, this has helped me, but the clothes are sitting in a bag by the closet. I just need to get them out, and now.

Also, I have a hard time not eating in the living room. Not because the table is cluttered but because I usually eat dinner alone and I don't like sitting there staring at the wall by myself. Hubby usually works 4-6 evenings during the week and the kids, well, what kids?? :lol: When they are home they are usually in their rooms. But I know this is something I have to work on.

Thanks ladies for all the inspirational posts. I do enjoy reading them all and they are helpful, even if I don't post much. Take care.

[Mima]

Hi guys-not sure I can eat whey-think that's made from milk. But a supplement would be good. My kitchen is pretty safe and I got rid of my size 14 jeans-Everything else is small because one and a half years ago, I was below goal, so I have lots of small clothes-I do have some summer dresses that can depart now that you think of it, Bye for now Mima-love the book.

[soiley]

Hi - I'm new to this forum (but not to 3FC). This chapter was hard for me. I'm wearing the biggest clothes I hope I ever have to wear. So the closet was no problem. Ah, but the food. It's very hard for me to toss food. We were not very prosperous when I was a kid, and I went thru a hard time when my ex walked out where I had to work 2 jobs to keep food on the table for me and the kids. So throwing out food is a bummer to me. Fortunately my son & his 2 girls visited from out of town the day I was doing the clean out, and they (all a bunch of skinny minnies) got bags of potato chips and boxes of twinkies & stuff like that. They hit the jackpot dropping in on Grandma that day!! My mom was staying a week with my brother so it was easy to get rid of all my problem foods (crunchy salties) that she wants to have around. She's a chocoholic, candy eater & cookie junkie. I told her when she got home I would take her wherever she wants to go to buy her goodies and she can keep them in her room (she stays there mostly all the time anyway), and to please not let me know where they are & not offer them to me. Then I told the grandkids that I babysit a couple of days a week that there would be no more junk food in the house. I would keep fruit, yogurt, & things like that for them, but I wasn't buying any more junk. Then I told my sons (soda pop junkies) that if they wanted the stuff when they came to my home, they had to bring it with them and take any leftovers home with them. They all seemed to go along with it, which was helpful. I do all the shopping, but I am learning to just not go into certain aisles. I've been trying to go just after a meal, so I'm not starving when I go. Trying to make a list, and not buy what isn't on the list. The only exception I make is in the fresh fruit & vegetable area. You never know what may be cheap or look particularly wonderful. The hardest for me is not keeping any food in plain view. Putting stuff away immediately after I am done with it. Oh, the other horrible thing was that I had food stashed in almost every room of the house. I never realized I was that bad at doing that. Well, it's all gone now, unless I'm cleaning some closet someday and find some stash I had forgotten about. :)

The hardest thing for me is not eating in front of the TV, because I eat alone so much of the time. I either read or watch TV while I'm eating. It's like I can stand the silence of sitting at the table alone.

[Mima]

Wow Soiley-what courage to do all that!!I still eat on the couch when my husband isn't home. But that's not when I overeat. Afternoon and late evenings for me. I have so many food allergies, it's not hard to give up things-I've already given them up. My husband has sugar free cookies and ice cream but I'm allergic to wheat and milk. I need more vegetables and protein. I think I'll start having a serving of vegetables at lunch-I can't eat raw because of my stomache so I'll cook something. Mima

[nanj]

Dear Soiley,

You go girl! I too was a stasher. My daughter and her kids have been very happy about my cleaning house. There were somethings that I couldn't toss because of hubby, so I vaccum-packed everything that I thought that I might try to take a bite out of. I just hate getting out the vaccum-packer and I don't like using the vaccum bags because they are expensive. My husband just kind of scratched his head and hopes this is not another fad.
I cleaned off all the counters and my husband wanted to know if I even vaccum-packed the salt and pepper! LOL

I remember the days when we couldn't all eat at the same time. I had three kids in three different schools and everyone of them were in sports. Talk about finding time to eat together!! I miss it though, now I have my kids calling me asking for slow-cooker recipes because they are going through the same thing. I'm really sorry that I didn't teach my kids better eating habits. I look at what they are fixing for their families and cringe. They all notice Saturday, when they were all over that sour cream, butters and such were either lowfat or fat free. My grandson had to eat whole wheat bread and you'd thought I asked him to eat poop! They all had to eat apples for snacks. "Where are the carmel apples?" I just handed them a jar of natural peanut better and told them to have at it. I know they think I have some kind of dementia!

[ciecie]

i have been following dr. phil's food plan for about a month now. so far, so good. this month, i lost on 10/2, 10/16 and 10/23. i stayed the same on 10/09. i belong to tops. my chapter meets and weighs-in on thursday morning.

[Angel26519]

Way To Go Ciecie....

Keep up the good work!

[mauvaisroux]

:bravo: to all of you who are doing your "homework" by giving your pantries and closets a makeover!

I am currently cleaning out my closet and getting rid of my "fat" clothes and plan to give them to charity. I want to reach my goal and stay there! :D

Next I'll tackle my kitchen and get rid of any "illegal" food.

[gonzostar]

i actually didn't fail the tests in this chapter! :lol:

my environment is pretty good. save the candies the boss puts on the desk, and the occasional chips my boyfriend buys, i don't keep snacks around. i can't handle it. i am working towards being able to handle it, however. i haven't eaten and work candy in 2 weeks. i barely notice it anymore because i'm not going to eat it, plain and simple.

[nanj]

I did it! I took every one of my summer clothes and took them to Goodwill. Three huge garbage bags full! I know that I can still wear some of them, but by next summer, I will not be able too. My family thought that I was nuts. But, I told them that if I get rid of these clothes there is not going back! I will not fail. Of course, there will be days that I will mess up, but I'm not going back! My husband has left over pizza and a cheese cake in the refrigerator. Two of my favorite things. NO pizza for me but I had a small piece of cheesecake (180 Cal.) and I didn't feel like I had blown my whole diet. I ate lite for supper, fish and green beans, and felt I could eat just one small piece. And I'll be danged if I didn't just eat one piece and let it be. I'll bet that was about the first time that I actually felt in control of eating cheesecake. I'm trying to remember that Dr. Phil says it's not wrong to eat one piece just not the whole thing.
Nancy

[Angel26519]

WAY TO GO NANJ! That is having control over the food instead of it having control over you!

Also I know how hard it is to get rid of clothes! So that was great!!!! I am working on this one this weekend!

[ceejay52]

I loved reading these posts. My closets and cabinets were cleaned out last summer. Every now and then I still want to eat something chocolate so I have sugar free puddings for that.