Subforum request: Relationships and Weight Loss

Esofia · 07-06-2011, 05:07 AM

Could we have a new subforum for Relationships and Weight Loss, please? To cover all sorts of relationships, of course, friends and family and colleagues as well as partners. We get so many posts about it that it seems worth putting them together in their own happy little group.

IsabellaOlivia · 07-06-2011, 09:32 AM

*Raises hand in favour*

Suzanne 3FC · 07-06-2011, 12:06 PM

Thanks for the suggestion, it's an interesting idea! I'm not sure that I'm personally in favor of it though. Our general Weight Loss Support forum is a good home for topics that involve supporting diet and relationship issues if they are directly weight related. General romantic relationship problems fall under General Chatter since they are not weight related and IMO seems to suit the topic well.

I'm not sure IB would want to add another forum at this point either, since we have such a large number of existing forums. I think it would take a major new diet plan to get a new forum or sub-forum going.

Thanks

DrivenByAmbition · 07-06-2011, 01:00 PM

I think it would be a good idea to place romantic topics in the same place. General chatter does some time become flooded with these topics. Why not put them all in the same sub-forum and leave the general chatter forum for general chatting, not relationship issues.

Esofia · 07-06-2011, 02:38 PM

And after all, we do get huge amounts of posts on weight loss issues as they directly relate to other people. The world of dating, unsupportive or even abusive partners, friends being diet saboteurs, how our mothers influence our weight, people commenting at work, it's all a linked subject. I think it would be beneficial to have it in a separate subforum, where it's easier to find related posts, and also so that if the same topic is coming up again and again, people can more easily find threads on it and learn more (and sometimes avoid unnecessary repetition). At the moment, threads on these topics are scattered all over the place, to the point where we can have two posts on identical subjects started up on the same day in completely different locations, and it can be difficult remembering exactly which abused wife/irritated daughter/unhappy friend you're talking to.

Esofia · 07-06-2011, 03:13 PM

I should also mention that I think this forum is great and beautifully organised. I originally found this place when I was looking for other vegans who were trying to lose weight, and to my delight there was an entire forum for veggies on diets, with little subforums and FAQs and all sorts of useful info handily grouped together. I really appreciate the neatly set up subforums and sticky threads, the way you can find subjects so easily, and the incredible way that the place is so well-behaved. I mean, this is one of the most sensitive topics out there, and people are polite and helpful even when they're distressed, and the moderators quietly step in when they need to. So thank you again for doing a smashing job here.

You mentioned that IB may not want to add another forum. Could you explain more? I don't even know who IB is! It seems relatively straightforward to add another subforum to me, but I may be missing something. If you're worried about it creating extra work, is it anything I can help with? I really do think it would be worth it.

Suzanne 3FC · 07-06-2011, 04:11 PM

IB stands for Internet Brands, the company that owns this website. I'll pass the link to this thread to the community manager at IB so they will be aware of the request and they can take it under consideration

Thanks for the suggestions!

fatgyrl · 07-06-2011, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esofia

..... The world of dating, unsupportive or even abusive partners, friends being diet saboteurs, how our mothers influence our weight, people commenting at work, it's all a linked subject. I think it would be beneficial to have it in a separate sub forum, where it's easier to find related posts, and also so that if the same topic is coming up again and again, people can more easily find threads on it and learn more (and sometimes avoid unnecessary repetition).

These can be touchy touchy subjects. It would be really great if this sub forum was visible to registered members only, it would help those in abusive situations not to have their relationship issues open to the general public. This adjustment should just be a setting when they set up the board. I know we have like 77,000 members but it is still not the general public. (and it would keep this one small area off of google as the google crawlers would not have access)

Suzanne 3FC · 07-06-2011, 10:27 PM

I'm sorry but there won't be any private forums on 3FC. Besides, it wouldn't stop anyone from reading them because anyone can sign up. A lot of lurkers sign up just because they get fewer advertisements as members than as lurkers, but have no intention of posting. Any curiosity seeker would sign up just to read them because they might expect something more juicy to read.

There are private forums out there, but there is generally a registration fee attached.

I'm sorry!

Esofia · 07-07-2011, 04:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fatgyrl

These can be touchy touchy subjects. It would be really great if this sub forum was visible to registered members only, it would help those in abusive situations not to have their relationship issues open to the general public. This adjustment should just be a setting when they set up the board. I know we have like 77,000 members but it is still not the general public. (and it would keep this one small area off of google as the google crawlers would not have access)

I actually asked about private subforums last week, but apparently no can do, which is fair enough. I do worry a bit about the people who put intensely intimate details online, but I suppose all we can do is remind them occasionally that what they're writing is public and could be identifiable as them, which is particularly concerning with the domestic abuse cases. If we were to get a relationships subforum, at least we could put up a sticky with links to Women's Aid and the like (and there are no doubt good forums on domestic violence we could send people to. I don't know any myself, but they must be out there), and reminders that abusive partners are prone to snooping around their partner's computers and how to be sensible about that. (Again, if it's a manpower issue with stickies, I'm glad to help, and if it's the case that we could get a new subforum but without stickies, it'd still be great and far better than nothing at all.) I still can't get over how many people put their photos on this site, with both their faces and bodies showing.

dancerindenver · 07-08-2011, 10:55 AM

*another hand raised in favor of a new subforum for relationships*

lynnie923 · 07-09-2011, 07:47 AM

I think a 200 lb subforum should be added

April Snow · 07-10-2011, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lynnie923

I think a 200 lb subforum should be added

the 100 lb club is for people who are working on losing 100 lbs - sometimes more, sometimes a little less, but my impression is if you are starting over 200 and working your way into Onederland, that's the right place. And it's a great forum, if you haven't checked it out yet!

IBobi · 07-13-2011, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suzanne 3FC

Thanks for the suggestion, it's an interesting idea! I'm not sure that I'm personally in favor of it though. Our general Weight Loss Support forum is a good home for topics that involve supporting diet and relationship issues if they are directly weight related. General romantic relationship problems fall under General Chatter since they are not weight related and IMO seems to suit the topic well.

I'm not sure IB would want to add another forum at this point either, since we have such a large number of existing forums. I think it would take a major new diet plan to get a new forum or sub-forum going.

Thanks

I have to agree with Suzanne, it does sound like something that has only tangential uniqueness in terms of what's already on the site, and is potentially fraught with problems (especially potential legal ones when people start discussiong their personal lives/family/loved ones in detail and likely critically), and could be a potential moderator quagmire.

For the time being, let's use the existing resources of the site and see if they can be leveraged to more or less suit the needs of the members posting here. We can revisit this down the line.

Thank you,

Paul
Community Manager

Esofia · 07-13-2011, 05:55 PM

Could I ask how this would be any different from the huge numbers of posts already existing on that subject? I'm just suggesting grouping them together. If you're unhappy with this subject being discussed on the site, then you may want to notify everyone that you're altering the rules and will be deleting a large number of posts, perhaps up to a third of some subforums.

I am also not sure what you mean by "tangential uniqueness", since we are talking about relationships specifically as they relate to weight loss.