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Old 11-23-2005, 08:47 AM   #46  
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NO SANTA!??!! I am shocked
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Old 11-23-2005, 08:50 PM   #47  
2 wheels is plenty :D
 
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Does this mean Santa doesn't have a willy?
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Old 11-25-2005, 06:10 AM   #48  
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No presents for you - chick in the hat - you dirty lady!
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Old 11-25-2005, 04:22 PM   #49  
2 wheels is plenty :D
 
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Default Don't believe what they tell you, Santa!

I was framed....
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Old 12-04-2005, 08:45 PM   #50  
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Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the

pearly
gates. "In honour of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must

each
possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He
flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said. "You may pass

through
the pearly gates," Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys.

He
shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said, "You may pass
through the pearly gates."

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and

finally
pulled out a pair of women's panties. St.Peter looked at the man with

a
raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "These are Carols."

And So The Holiday Season Begins

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Old 12-05-2005, 09:48 AM   #51  
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That's a good one Ilene!
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Old 12-05-2005, 12:53 PM   #52  
Alis volat propiis
 
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I don't usually like man-bashing humor, but -- OK -- I thought this was cute:

Three Wise WOMEN would have ...

... asked for directions

... arrived on time

... helped deliver the baby

... cleaned the manager

... and brought practical gifts.



And then there's this one:

Three WISE MEN?
(C'mon, get real.)
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Old 05-02-2006, 08:44 AM   #53  
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My Danish friend just sent this, Lol!

Condoms!!!!

Imagine if all major retailers started making their own condoms and kept the same tagline...

Sainsbury Condoms - making life taste better

Tesco Condoms - every little helps

Nike Condoms - Just do it

Peugeot Condoms - The ride of your life

Galaxy Condoms - Why have rubber when you can have silk

KFC Condoms - Finger licking good

M&Ms Condoms - melt in your mouth, not in your hands

Safeway condoms - Lightening the load

Abbey National condoms - because life is complicated enough

Coca Cola condoms - The real thing

Duracell condoms - keep going and going

Macintosh condoms - It does more, it costs less, it's that simple

Pringles condoms - once you pop, you can't stop

Burger king condoms - Home of the whopper

Goodyear condoms - "for a longer ride go wide

FCUK condoms - no comment required

Muller light condoms - so much pleasure, but where's the pain

Flash condoms - Just sit back, relax and let Flash do all the hard work

Halford condoms - we go the extra mile

OnDigital condoms - plug and play!!!!

Royal Mail condoms - I saw this and thought of you

Andrex condoms - Soft, strong and very very long

Renault condoms - size really does matter!

Ronseal condoms - does exactly what is says on the tin

Domestos condoms - gets right under the rim!!!

Heineken condoms - reaches parts that other condoms just cannot reach

Carlsberg condoms - probably the best condom in the world

AA Condoms - for the 4th emergency service

Pepperami Condoms - it's a bit of an animal

Polo condoms - the condom with the hole!!! (VERY poor seller!!!)

What´s your favourite LOL
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Old 05-02-2006, 10:50 AM   #54  
Bewitchin' in the kitchen
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Old 05-02-2006, 12:07 PM   #55  
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Oh that's good!!
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Old 05-03-2006, 01:16 PM   #56  
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Talking Welfare

A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to
thecounter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd
really rather have a job."

The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We
just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a
chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive
around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes.

Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to
escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her
sexual urges. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the garage.

The starting salary is $200,000 a year".

The guy says, "You're bullshittin' me!"

The social worker says, "Yeah, well...you started it."



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Old 06-30-2006, 06:54 AM   #57  
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Presidential fun!


http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/georgie.htm
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Old 06-30-2006, 09:37 AM   #58  
Bewitchin' in the kitchen
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aj-

peacock2- fun!
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