Retorts for Rude People

Goddess Jessica · 06-26-2003, 04:34 PM

Ok women, I need some help. If you'll remember in the B***H thead, I have a problem with people at work always commenting on what I'm eating. Today, our office manager stopped me in the hall to say, "Oh wait, I want to see what you're eating." I know they think it's cute to "encourage the fat girl" but it really just makes me want to kill them.

I need some retorts for rude people. My mother always told me to say, "Why do you ask?" Because it's suppose to make people realize that they're being nosy, but these people KNOW they're being nosy and they just don't care.

HELP! Or else I'm going to have to sacrifice one of these peons to the Goddess of Slimming.

Lidian · 06-26-2003, 04:59 PM

These aren't original but they stuck in my head --

(1) Just repeat the question. "I'm sorry, I don't understand. Are you asking me [fill in the blank]" Sometimes this will embarrass them (though it won't always work, I mean, come on, they are rude enough to say it once!)

(2) "Is that supposed to be funny?" But in a sort of ironic way, not defensive, like you can't believe they are being so stupid.

(3) "Only if I can check what you're eating."
(4) "Why, are you taking a survey?"

And I do like your mom's response too. Iam not sure that any response really gets through to this sort of person. My father used to make fun of me taking small bites when I was dieting as a teenager (and has been known to do it in recent years, yuck) saying in a coy annoying way, "oh? are you making little [whatever] balls?" This always makes me want to hurl him through the nearest plate glass window. But I just say nothing. That's my final suggestion, though it is the opposite of cathartic...just ignore these rude idiots. Maybe they just want a response from you. Why give them what they want?!

And then you can go home and kickbox their imaginary rears!

Lidian

GeorgiaLady · 06-26-2003, 05:29 PM

Great Comebacks Lidian!!

I also like, "Are you serious?" as you continue to walk on by.

Another tactic: When someone says something rude or asks a questions I don't want to answer, I act like it was never uttered and either ignore them or make some comment on a totally different subject. Ex: Rude Person: "Oh, my goodness!!!!! You must be on ANOTHER one of those crazy diets!!!" Your Response: "Hey Marge: Have you ever noticed how sweet and thoughtful Janis in accounting is? She must be one of the most supportive people I know!" ..................Keep walking.......don't miss a beat and don't ever let them know it bothers you. No one says you have to acknowledge or comment back to everything other people say either. Sometimes just a "curious" look says a lot.

Good luck to you...and keep up the great work!!!

ellis · 06-26-2003, 06:19 PM

Oh Jessica... too much!

If it were me, I'd probably just smile, say, "Excuse me", and walk away.

But what I'd LIKE to say is:

Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?

Better a wide body than a narrow mind.

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

That was extremely unkind of you. I guess that you said it
to make yourself feel better. Did it work?

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

I hope you like yourself better soon.

What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

Don't worry. I only fight people in my own weight
division.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
love and hugs...

Lidian · 06-26-2003, 06:51 PM

Great comebacks, KC and Ellis! Serves em all right! Hee hee

Lidian

rochemist · 06-26-2003, 07:04 PM

People always have this coy way of saying things, just restate it so its really what they are saying,

"Are you worried that I might have too much to eat?"
"Whats your point"
"I think I can monitor my own intake thanks"
"Do you want to trade lunches?"

Miss Chris

dentrassi · 06-26-2003, 07:10 PM

GREAT comebacks!!!

Ellis-I especially appreciate your alien probe comeback!!

Jessica-WHAT AN IDIOT!!! Sorry you are having to deal with that!!! You COULD also make up stuff. Just lie outrageously about what you are having.
(Duck L'orange, etc etc, Napoleans flown in from France....)

mauvaisroux · 06-26-2003, 07:27 PM

I would clutch my lunch to my chest and say in a funny accent "no! eet's mine! all mine!" and run off in the direction of the lunch room

Or give her a mysterious smile and say " I'm sorry that's a state secret" and walk away.

Or... say " I'm sorry, is there a new company policy that all staff lunches are to be inspected before they are consumed? No. Oh, well then see you later" and smile and walk away.

Or ..."Why? Is there an office pool involving my lunch? So what are you betting on?"

If you smile you and laugh you can get away with saying anything

GeorgiaLady · 06-26-2003, 10:52 PM

You could say, "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"

Ha, Ha....Line from "Top Gun." I knew there was a reason to memorize lines from movies.

dentrassi · 06-27-2003, 11:59 PM

HAHAHAHA!!!

lizziness · 06-28-2003, 08:26 PM

well, personally, besides telling them to

off.....

I would probably say something smartass like

"Well, let's see... I'm superfat - so I must be eating something unhealthy... let's see what's in here... Yes, that's right, it's my 3 big macs, 4 candy bars, and half gallon of potato salad" then give them a firey look and walk away. heh.

then again - I'm kinda a *****.

Goddess Jessica · 06-30-2003, 03:36 PM

Okay, all your comebacks are so fabulous that I'm going to dedicate each day to a different one. I'll let you know how they work.

Sojourner · 07-01-2003, 12:41 AM

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours..." and then smile naughtily, wink, and walk away. That should give them something new to talk about.

Sojourner · 07-01-2003, 12:44 AM

Or maybe... "Oh no, you must be confused.... I'm pretty sure they put the rat poison in your sandwhich."

jujuridl · 07-01-2003, 05:24 PM

Jessica, et al. YOu got me going today at my site:

______________

What do you say to the jerks who feel the need to comment on your body, your diet, your life?

I may have a plan:

http://skinnydaily.blogspot.com/2003...y_archive.html

Really, if enough of us print these cards and use them, we might be able to make a difference.

I'm not kidding.

I'm not.

Really.

JuJu