Brooklyn dyke here. I'm more femme than not but I suspect I'd be higher femme if I were thinner-right now when I attempt femme it comes out matronly. AH well- we shall see what happens
Openly pansexual married to a heterosexual here. Glad to see this thread and all the support. Screw people that say you can't be any one thing because of the person you're with? That doesn't even make sense!
Brooklyn dyke here. I'm more femme than not but I suspect I'd be higher femme if I were thinner-right now when I attempt femme it comes out matronly. AH well- we shall see what happens
THIS. Gosh, this sums up my entire fashion life. Especially because I enjoy vintage (40's-style, mostly) dresses, which tend to have much more conservative lines and sleeves. Most of the time, especially with my hair pulled back, I end up feeling like The Trunchbull from the mid-90s Matilda movie, which is certainly not what I'm going for. And most modern, youthful dresses, unfortunately, have empire waists, which make me look decidedly pregnant. No good, either way. I haven't learned how to pull it off, but I refuse to give up on dresses! I can only hope that slimming down will make things at least a little easier.
Bi, no significant other to speak of, also more-femme-than-not, though I certainly have my days when I want nothing to do with anything even remotely girly.
Hi! Well, I was on the old thread and moved to SF to find my first RN job, when that turned out to be really a bad move, I ended up gaining the weight I'd lost. So, now I'm working in Oregon and back to being healthy.
Dorky butch lesbian here. Getting trimmer gives me more clothing options and lets me try to lean more toward dapper than dorky. Still working on that.
A couple of you mentioned wanting to femme it up but feeling frumpy in your clothes - please let your femme flag fly! Some of the hottest femmes I know are overweight. Please don't think you have to be thin to be beautiful, or that you have to wait until you are thin to be yourself.
Brooklyn dyke here. I'm more femme than not but I suspect I'd be higher femme if I were thinner-right now when I attempt femme it comes out matronly. AH well- we shall see what happens
I feel your pain. I wear a lot of black, and a lot of jeans. I've always been into makeup but the clothes are tough!
Gay chick living in Michigan with my gf of 2 years.
So this is quite off topic but I need some advice or words of encouragment.
My entire life I have been overweight...secondly even though I have lost some weight and would like to celebrate that, I am still not to a "healthy weight." My girlfriend who is extremely motivated to get healthy be healthy, who at one time was 60lbs bigger than she currently is, is at a healthy weight, and I don't think she understands that my story is different than her story.
I have never been small than gained weight, I was an over weight kid that always has been over weight. She was a healthy weight, and than gained weight in a different realtionship and we started getting healthy together. However it has been harder for me to lose weight than it has for her. Although she says she understands my struggles, I truly believe that she does not. For I have never known the land of the "healthy" or "skinny" or "inshape" or whatever land you want to call it, I have never been there. She was there, than left, than went back.
So the fact that I am at this weight I currently am is a success, and I understand that but I feel like I am letting her down by not staying as motivated as she is. Of course I have a lot more responsibilities right now in my life than she does and than from when we first started this journey. I have not given up the good fight it has just stalled slowly. (I'm still losing weight but just not at a quick pace like I first did.)
I guess I'm just wondering if anyone can sympathize with me, and or have any advice at getting her to understand how I'm feeling. ::sigh:: I have a few other things I need to get off my chest about my weight right now but I will save that for another day. If anything to anyone that reads this....thanks for listening to me. I needed it.
UKnw.. I think everyone can relate on some level. We all want to be the best we can be for our partners, and if we see them being more successful or more motivated than us, it can be challenging. Just keep in mind that just like your weight experiences are different from your girlfriend's, the way you motivate and follow through are different as well. IT doesn't mean they're better or worse, just not the same. Also keep in mind that just because you're taking longer to get to your goal, it doesn't mean that your success is "worse" than hers. You're doing what you can, when you can, and like you said, it's wonderful that you've gotten this far!
Every person I've ever dated has been pretty fit. My last boyfriend was bulking up and it made me feel terrible that I couldn't even drop some weight. My current boyfriend is a bit tubby, but I know that he could drop weight much faster than I ever could. I've always been big, so I don't know what it's like to be smaller. Sometimes, I'm a bit happy that he's gained weight while with me. It makes me feel less enormous. I honestly think that he doesn't lose weight because it would make me feel bad. He can find the motivation when I can't.
UknwULikeThat - A lot of people have this issue. You're not alone. Don't measure your success against those of others, especially your significant other. You'll get there, just not as fast as her. But you will get there. Let her success motivate you to keep going. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and your health is so much more important than the pounds that you drop.
Especially because I enjoy vintage (40's-style, mostly) dresses, which tend to have much more conservative lines and sleeves. Most of the time, especially with my hair pulled back, I end up feeling like The Trunchbull from the mid-90s Matilda movie, which is certainly not what I'm going for. And most modern, youthful dresses, unfortunately, have empire waists, which make me look decidedly pregnant. No good, either way. I haven't learned how to pull it off, but I refuse to give up on dresses! I can only hope that slimming down will make things at least a little easier.
