Return of the LGBT Chicks...

[alisonlerae]

Hmm...

This thread has caused me to pin-point a connection with my sexuality and fatness.

I'm bisexual, I just don't let it be known to the general public because there's no reason too. I've only ever been in two really long, serious relationships. One with a female, one with a male. I married the dude. He's amazing -- the most kind, understanding and open person I know. He's heterosexual, but not homophobic. We understand each other.

But then there's friends... since moving back home from where we moved so I could attend college, I've found it really hard to make girlfriends. You know, the people you cuddle with on the couch while watching crappy shows like Teen Mom. The people you ***** about your husband too. The people you go on late night walks with, and gossip with.

I think it's because I haven't found anyone open enough to eventually be honest with them without them freaking out. How do you girls handle this? I'M GOING CRAZY WITHOUT MY BFFS. I think this is why I've gained so much weight since graduation -- eating my loneliness.

[philana]

Hmm, I don't think anything I can say will apply to you. I am from The Netherlands and we are pretty tolerant. Also I hang out with kinda the intellectual folks, who seem to be even more tolerant than average. So I've never encountered any issues with female friends.

I read a research study the other day about how in the US 70% of freshmen are pro gay marriage. So I'd think that atleast in the college system lot's of people are a bit more openminded than average?

I might have a completely backwards idea of how closeminded most americans are. Mostly because a good friend of mine is from Texas, and well.. that's a horrid place to live and be gay. Haha. Though from what I gather Florida and New York aren't so bad to be gay. How's Omaha?

Goodluck!

And a bit of universal advice: If people can't accept you for who you are, then would you really even want to spent time with them? Better to know who you can cound a friend than not to know right?

[putznanu]

Just wanted to add my two cents - lesbian woman here from NJ - Hello all!

[neon_zephyr]

Originally Posted by philana

I might have a completely backwards idea of how closeminded most americans are. Mostly because a good friend of mine is from Texas, and well.. that's a horrid place to live and be gay. Haha. Though from what I gather Florida and New York aren't so bad to be gay. How's Omaha?

I've lived in many places, including Omaha and I'm from Texas, even though I live in Southern California, now. Much of rural TX and even many metropolitan centers can be homophobic, but there's a big LGBTQ community in Austin and Houston and Galveston. Also, plenty of art and culture in those cities. There's a small, but open-minded community in Omaha, but not as much presence in Lincoln, from what I remember. I think sometimes, you just have to look harder to find connections in places.

[chubbyNerdJ]

Re: The post about LBGTQ Texas: There is also a thriving queer scene here in Dallas! Like the OP said, you just have to look a bit harder to make connections.

But per the original thread, I'm a queer woman. I feel like of odd sometimes in the LGBTQ community because I feel like, as a fat woman, I don't fit in, physically, at least. Some of it is my own issues with my size, but still...

[Smilla]

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[Kay7jay]

Figured I'd throw myself in the mix.. Pansexual in Las Vegas.

alisonlerae - I definitely get what you mean! I am lucky enough to have a few friends who are open to my sexuality, and figured it out without me having to say anything. It does still get lonely though because while they are OK with it, they can't relate to it so it creates a divide between us.

As for the weight and dating- I hate my own body. HATE it. so I'm changing it and while I do that I have made a personal choice to not date. I will date again when I am under 200, quite the reward for reaching one of my mini goals.
That said, other people don't hate it (or are willing to overlook it?) and I actually get asked out quite often.

But I truly believe I have to love myself before I can love someone else. No one I know actually supports my decision to not date, but I just am not as happy as I could be so why put that on someone else?

[bopbot]

Hey, everyone. Bisexual woman in a committed open relationship with a man, here.

I've never had a problem with anyone being less than accepting of my bisexuality--in fact, I think it was almost a point of attraction for a lot of people--but my partner and my's disinterest in sexual monogamy is a totally different ball of wax. A lot of our friends who don't flinch at someone's sexuality are a lot less comfortable when that same person wants to share it with people outside the relationship.

I think that my partner and I having sex outside of our relationship is actually very important for the health of our relationship as a whole. Sex with the same person, while comfortable and loving and occasionally very kinky, never really has that same breathless rush as having sex for the first or second time with someone you've been attracted to and never really thought you'd have sex with. And that I have someone to go home to afterward and share with, and that it makes both of us even more excited about each other, makes it all the better.

But I feel less sexy since I gained weight, and I know that's why I haven't really pursued anyone outside my partner--not because I'm not interested in anyone else, because I DEFINITELY am, but because I don't feel comfortable enough with myself to think I'd enjoy the pursuit.

But hey. I'M GETTING THERE.