Hello~ I'm Rei. I'm 21 and in need of a little support. My post is quite long, but to those who read it, I thank you deeply.
I will tell a little about myself.
I was always a big girl....ALWAYS. Although I was big, I never really thought of my weight much. I mean, I knew I was bigger than all of my friends, but they never made much of a deal out of it.
I did realize some things though. When ever me and my friends went to the mall, I was always the biggest one. Their would always be boys talking to them, but everyone just overlooked me(which is better than being picked on I guess). It didn't really bother me because I wasn't interested in boys as much back then. Then we would go and try on clothes....well THEY did anyway. I just looked at all of the pretty clothes I thought I could never wear. I loved my friends, yet hated them at the same time...
It was maybe the beginning or middle of 2008 when I had a routine checkup. Everything was pretty alright with me. Then it was time to get on the scale. No biggie, right? I took my shoes off, stepped up and waited a few seconds. Looking as if nothing was wrong, the doctor told me "Sorry, I can't tell you your weight. You're over the capacity." That was the moment I realized I had to do something.
Gradually I cut down what I ate and I think I lost about 10 pounds the first 2 weeks or so. In November I believe, I started a full-fledged diet. I started working out, and ate about 1200 calories a day. Everything was awesome! I went from 306+ down to 180lbs after the first year. That's when everything stopped. The whole beginning of this year(2010), I stopped completely. No matter what, I couldn't (and still can't) seem to find motivation. I went from 180lbs to 215lbs. Though I'm nowhere near where I used to be, I still feel kind of like a failure.
I'd really like to get down to my (weight wise) goal of 130-lbs. This time I don't plan on rushing (though I'd like to be down by Christmas 2011). If anyone is willing to be an online weight buddy or just someone to talk to, please don't hesitate!
And for those wondering why I'm posting in the Alternachicks section, I'm here because like many of you, I'm not the average girl (or guy). Since I was 16 I've listened to rock. That may not seem so surprising unless you live with a family who listens to mainly hip-hop and rap. From rock I moved onto different genres like gothic metal, symphonic metal, Japanese visual kei, EBM etc. Recently I really like Korean pop! haha. My style also changes. I have a deep love for different Japanese fashion like Gothic Lolita, Gyaru etc. The only problem is..I CAN'T FIT ANY OF IT. Friggen Japanese brand sizes are always so small. ARRGHHH!! When it comes to makeup, hair styles, accessories, I've got it all down though.lol That's another reason why I want to lose weight: To wear what I've dreamed of wearing (I actually have had dreams of me wearing frilly Gothic Lolita dresses! And I wasn't fat!) I love dreams....unless their nightmares....and sometimes I like those too.
Thanks for reading! I love you all (not in a creepy way). BYE~