3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Support Groups > Alternachicks

Thread Tools
Old 05-31-2010, 04:30 PM   #1
Senior Member
grrrkgrrrl's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 214

S/C/G: 84.7 kg/66.5kg/66.5kg

Height: 5'6''

Default what am i doing wrong?

I need to vent. I hope maybe people who have more life experiences can support me and give me advice.

Before I lost weight, I was in a relationship which ended last year. I found myself alone, had to move house and remain in england by myself. Whilst losing weight, I was also liking my wounds -relationship wise, so I was pretty low and kept focusing on me.

fast forward to "lately + new thin body". I have been told always I have a pretty face.
Me? when I look in the mirror, i do not see any major facial flaws, but that's about it. Sometimes, i do find myself pretty, but i think everyone does that! I basically consider myself more than the sum of my parts. I am cultured, funny, a musician, and many many more things. Back home, in greece, i have a lot of deep and meaningful friendships which have been my main support network through everything.

I cannot make friends in england.

Lately I am being hit on and on, and on some ways i am sick of it, because when i declare my disinterest, people tend to disappear. why?
i am not particularly flirty.maybe there's an english-mediterranean barrier i do not seem to understand.

all i want is some friends. people who have space for another person in their lives. but no, i get hit on and when i say "look, but, i thought we were friends... :/" people run off.

this happens with both men and women, and whilst i am not interested in men sexually at all, even with women i have not found one that it really "clicks" in order to push things forward in a romantic level.

i have thought about this for many days. and to a point, it might be a ridiculous post "booohoooo people flirt with me". how sad is that? but trust me.. when you're on your own, in another country, and all you want is a real friend... it sucks not to have one.

i have even thought if a solution would be to put weight back on and disappear again as a flirting candidate. but not to worry, it won't come to that. i lost weight for myself and i will keep it off for myself.

grrrkgrrrl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2010, 07:40 AM   #2
this space for rent
eroica27's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Yup, Still in Ohio
Posts: 227

S/C/G: 274/274/140

Height: 5'8"


Oh Grrrkgrrrl! Huggles. I understand because as I lose weight i'm getting more attention and I don't like it. but instead of stopping in my weightloss, ive pushed forward and try to distance myself from people in other ways (like mentioning that I would like to learn Klingon). I would start off by looking in the paper or craigslist for groups that interest you. That would at least put you in situations that would bring you with people connected with an interest other than flirting and hopping into bed. The bad thing about clubs and such is the vast majority of folks are going to have fun and maybe hookup for the night. you could also post in the platonic friends sections of papers that you are looking to meet new people to do activities that interest you.
I stuck my arm out, but the car wouldn't turn-Olive Oyl

eroica27 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2010, 07:46 AM   #3
Junior Member
ThatJillianGirl's Avatar
Join Date: May 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 11

S/C/G: 135/120/120

Height: 5'1"


Oh sweetie, I understand!
I wish we lived closer.. I would be your friend! =) I'm having some friend issues, myself. I feel alone.. like.. my friends aren't just caring right now so much. It sucks. When I text a friend and don't hear back for 7 hours.. it's like.. blah! LOL.. I just need some good friends in my life.

I don't think it has anything to do with your weight, or... anything. It's just them.
ThatJillianGirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2010, 08:55 AM   #4
astrophe's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,855

Height: 5'8"


I'd look at where you are hanging out first. I think at certain locations people are looking more to be flirting than friend making. Like in clubs or bars or... that seems more like "flirting" than "friends. "

Maybe it would help if you looked for friends in other places? Where else do you go?

Started Jan 2016:
astrophe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2010, 09:05 AM   #5
Junior Member
itssnowingfire's Avatar
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 4

S/C/G: 255/255/124

Height: 4'10


I totally agree with astrophe. Go somewhere that you can find like-minded people. People that like what you like and go from there. Reach out to someone, be the first to say hi. I can't promise it will happen overnight, but eventually you will find that great friend. Good luck! I too also wish that I was in the UK so we can be friends...but we can still be friends on 3FC right?!

Good luck with everything.

itssnowingfire is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2010, 12:34 PM   #6
Senior Member
chicpanda's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Tampa, FL
Posts: 204

S/C/G: 294.5/276/190

Height: 5'2"


I don't think you are doing anything wrong per se. The others have made some excellent suggestions to you. You sound shy. If you continue to be so very unhappy, maybe reading some on building self confidence would help. It's tough to be a stranger, eh? Congrats on the weight loss btw

It's not the destination, it is the journey.

first mini goal: lost rebound weight finished 1/14/10
loose re rebound back sliding pounds / 35 to drop
2 gone
chicpanda is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-09-2010, 03:42 PM   #7
Bewitchin' in the kitchen
mauvaisroux's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 11,506


grrrgirrl - it's been a while since you posted this - how are you doing, hope things are getting better for you.

I find it harder to make new friends as I get older - it is difficult to find people my age with similar interests and my old friends are all busy with their spouses and kids. I have joined a couple of groups on-line that have meet-ups in my area in an effort to meet new people. They meet at cultural events and go see films together etc. etc. so they don't just hang out in bars.

Perhaps you could find a group with similar interests in your area to join?
We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled.
The trick is, knowing how to tip ourselves over
and let the beautiful stuff out. - Ray Bradbury

Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice and no guarantee is made against accuracy. Please see your physician before taking advice found on the internet.

mauvaisroux is offline   Reply With Quote

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
So what am I doing wrong? Take a peek please ~lookin for lean~ Weight Loss Support 49 09-04-2005 09:28 AM
What am I doing wrong? (weight won't go down...) Sushi Penguin Weight Loss Support 17 07-08-2005 06:09 PM

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:28 AM.

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2