Just wanted to introduce myself, and thank everyone who is here for ... well, being here. I think venting on a board will be much better for me than venting to my non-dieting friends, so thanks in advance for putting up with it!
I am working through the whole "being irritated with myself for being back in this position again" thing.
About 4 years ago, I had gained some weight and did the crash diet thing. Since then, I've put those 40 lbs back on... plus 60 more (260).
I was in denial for a while... don't ask me how. To a certain extent, I've always been able to carry my weight. No one ever believes what I weigh. But even I can't carry 260 lbs. I have known for a while I needed to do something... when Jan. 1 came, I made it about 12 hours before deciding to put things off until the 4th... and then, psychologically, I really couldn't let myself push it back any more.
I would like to get back down to 160, which is a weight I feel comfortable at. That's still almost 30 lbs over my lowest-ever adult weight, of 133... I can't believe I thought I was fat then. I was a size 10! At 5"3", but still. Just losing 100 lbs seems impossible, never mind half my body weight!
That first week was pretty horrible. I thought about food constantly. But the second week was better. And I have lost weight. Week 3 is right ahead... and when it's over, I will be 10% of the way to my goal!
My goal is to lose at least 3 lbs per week for 33 weeks... just to give myself an end date to look forward to: August 14. 2010. If I am successful in losing 100 lbs by that date, and I am still motivated, maybe I can lose the last 30 before Halloween (about 10 weeks after that).
That seems like FOREVER... but gaining even more weight sounds even worse.