Hi Barb-

Welcome! I know what you mean. I was up and down and up and down, screwed my knees up, back problems, no energy, just really frustrating. The good news is that you are not running out of time, now is the perfect time! I was 46 when I finally grabbed the bull by the horns and decided to take control of my health.

Sounds like you are ready for that leap, making the decision to change your life. It really has to be a lifestyle change, not just a diet. Bet you know that already :) I needed to find a plan I could really live with the rest of my life. With a diabetic partner and a lifestyle that already included lots of vegetables and whole foods South Beach was a perfect fit for me. For other people Weight watchers, low carb, or calorie counting are the way to go. Check out some of the plan specific forums to see if something clicks for you. You may change along the way, add new tools or even whole new "diets" but you need something to start with. Something that adapts to a family will be important. I'm sure you don't need the frustration of cooking different dinners!

Once you settle into a plan you will want to start thinking about exercise and making a little time for you. One step at a time though, that's the best way to approach this journey IMO. Feel free to PM me anytime. I'm always happy to be a one woman cheering squad :)

Thanks Cyndi...

Yes, I will actually be cooking separate meals.. that is one of the reasons this is so hard. My kids will only eat certain things, they don't mind SOME healthy food, but pasta's and quick foods we have had a lot of. I know our eating habits and food choices are terrible. I can change mine, but putting a vegetable in front of these kids is a joke most of the time and I end up throwing them out. If I would have raised them from day one with learning to eat better it would have been easier. But, I had terrible habits I passed down. They are used to Hamburger Helper, canned pastas, and corn dogs, and now its hard to tell them after all this time we are suddenly changing everything.

How long ago did you meet your weight goal.... ?

The only thing I am trying to do now is eat no greasy stuff and walk on my treadmill every day and lift weights every other day and eat as many fresh fruits and vegetables as possible. That's about all I know how to do.. it worked the last time, I lost 40 pounds, then I just got burnt out on seeming like I could never have anything good, I said screw it, and gained it back as soon as I changed back to my old eating habits... which I now regret.

I appreciate SO MUCH having a one woman cheering squad! I'll take you up on that! Thanks!! Barb

Hi! *waves*

I'm... in love with a woman. I'm physically bisexual (er... maybe? I've never been attracted to women before I met her and I'm still not attracted to any women aside from her, they do nothing for me), but since I've never been in love with anybody else before, I wouldn't know if the same thing applies to emotions. Yeah... let's just call me bisexual. :dizzy:

My main focus is health and falling in love for the first time has been a big motivator to take better care of myself.

Hi ladies :)
I'm totally new to this website, came across it through google just this morning and joined. Looks awesome here.

Found this board/thread almost immediately- glad it exists!

I'm Jillian (31) and a lesbian. Currently loving someone who is out of reach for me, and unhappy about that... but working through it every day :)

I don't have a ton of weight to lose.. perhaps 15 to 20 pounds, but it's been a struggle for me for quite some time. Great to find it here for advice/support!

I've been away from this site for a while and regained some of my lost weight as a result! I'm Shannon (34) and a lesbian. My wife and I have been together for 6 years and legally married since August 2008. I'm trying to get back on the wagon and lose some more weight. I've been trying to get pregnant for over a year now without much luck so I'm hoping the weight loss will help. I'm glad I found this thread!


Shannon

It's nice to know if the Age 50 + group kicks me out (I just came out to them)
I have a home here.

I was a little concerned at first but everyone around here has been wonderful and very supportive. I know some of those 50s Chicks and look forward to joining the forum next year. Welcome :)

Welcome, everyone!

I'm happy to see this thread moving, I was worried I'd killed it when I showed up. :o

I hope it moves! I know I'm new here, but it'd be a great "home" to have!

Chicpanda (I'm so sorry I don't know your real name).. congrats on coming out :) I know, it's hard to do! But, I bet it felt so good.

Well... on the subject of coming out... I've been talking recently to a friend who is questioning and she said what she dreads most is the gossip from acquaintances and co-workers. She has very loving and open-minded close friends, it's the wider circle's gossip that scares her because she HATES being the center of attention and being the subject of gossip in general, let alone on a subject as personal as sexuality. (She lives in Hollywood, so it's not a violent reaction she fears or anything like that...) I recommended talking to someone who's already out and can maybe reassure her, but she's painfully shy. I figured I'd pick your brains instead.

There's nothing to out as far as I'm concerned since I have no idea where I fit in myself. The woman I love... I have no hope of her ever wanting a relationship with me. I'd be proud to come out as bisexual and in love with her so we can live openly as a couple but the couple part ain't happening and I'm only physically attracted to men (so far) so... *shrug* I can't be of much help to her. On top of all that, I'm a loner and have exactly one friend (and I'd never worry about her knowing, in fact she probably does already) and could care less about gossip and what people think of me. You guys have already gone through this experience so maybe I can use your words of wisdom to help my friend if she ever decides to take the leap or figures out if the emotional pull she feels towards women can be clearly defined somehow.

It's so hard to give advice, or say what we (I?) think she should do.. because, really.. only she can tell. I think it's a great idea to come out to someone that's already out.. that would probably make her feel more comfortable. The first time I came out I did the same, to a girl friend of mine who was out. And I actually did it through e-mail, because I was nervous. I was able to get down thoughts and tell her/someone... without feeling pressured, without seeing her face, etc. It's scary that first time! I've been out for 10+ years now, since my very early 20's.. and now when I have to tell someone, I do it with pride and confidence.. but, it wasn't like that in the beginning.

I know for *ME*, I can't hide. I felt this.. weight.. on my chest before I came out. I felt like I wasn't being true to me.. so it was something *I* had to do. But, I know some people can hide for a very long time and never come out.

It really depends on her. If she WANTS to come out, she should.. people might talk, sure.. but really.. it ends quickly. She just needs to find someone she's comfortable with. (I wish I knew her! lol.. I would help!!).

Good luck to her :)

Hi Ladies -
Been trying to find a support group to fit into but nothing really fit.
I'm Gay/Lesbian and single. I would love to date someone but I am seriously injured and am hoping to lose weight and heal.

*Waves to All*

Great thread! I'm 42, been with my partner for 9 wonderful years. I came out to my mother when I was 15 and she was horrified so I stayed quiet for quite a few years after that. Now I'm just sort of me... I don't go out of my way to tell people, but if they ask I tell the truth. My partner is butch and gets called "sir" often, so I think people just assume we're a str8 couple. So I guess that makes me a wimp in the LGBT society, but I'm just not the "in your face" type LOL

Nice to "meet" y'all. Oh and yes, there are gay people in FL, especially in the Miami area of South Beach. I live in West Central FL and there are gay people here too, but there are more in Miami.

I am married to a man - 10yrs in August, he lives in america, and i am in a committed relationship with a wonderful woman - 2.5yrs who i live with here in australia.

I consider myself sexually fluid - i go with the flow, what feels right and who feels right.

My husband has always know i prefer women, and has said he would rather share me than lose me.

My partner hates that i am still married, but understands why.

For the most part it works fine, i have always been honest with them both, but people often only believe what they want to believe so that can be kinda special. :)

gshilltani - my partner gets called sir all the time, drives her crazy.

I'm 43, have an almost 5 yo. I was disabled from air pollution damage to my lungs before I became pregnant. I almost died 3 days after giving birth from a bad reaction to the emergency C-sec meds. I lost my entire 'village' when my daughter turned 2, became homeless for almost a year. Lost my job when my daughter turned 3 and have been unable to become employed again since then. Couch surfing with a semi-retired service dog, a cat and a kid in diapers is one definition of a living ****.

We've been re-homed, post tragedy, for 2 years now. We're alone, just the 2 of us, the ancient dog and the cat. We're only now stable enough in our lives to grieve the loss of 2 best friends/donors, my daughter's godmother, our home, our community connections, our queer inclusive neighborhood, the entire way of being in the world that ended suddenly and painfully.

I have mobility limitations that are getting less limiting all the time. We spend a lot of time at home, a lot of time active with the Seattle Area Lesbian Mom's group/Single Parenting Group in and around Seattle. We have a few good friends whom we retained through the crisis.

Being temporarily unable to work at anything other than my medical issues and raising/home-schooling my daughter, I get so isolated that I scare off strangers at the supermarket trying to relate socially in a quasi-Southern cultural way. I'm always up to chatting, emails, whatever.

I know that when I'm back in college, things will shift socially for the better. Till then, I'm lifting Kettlebells, practicing my Z-Health maneuvers, working out once a week with a RKC/Z-Health certified personal trainer who functions as a rehab specialist. We've been re-training, repairing, restoring my body for a year and it's gotten much stronger and more capable of daily life.

I wish for social access to people in my neck of the woods who would appreciate our family's passion for urban sustainability/alpacas/goats/chickens/etc.

Also my daughter is profoundly gifted and we often don't fit into the rhythms of the lives of those who aren't striving to reach their own potential. My daughter has a passion for learning multiple languages, architecture, Irish dancing, all things musical, lifting Kettlebells, soccer, dressage and especially her Mandarin culture.

I'm training to keep up, LOL. ;)