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I saw myself in a 3-way mirror ~ is that really me???

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Old 01-29-2015, 09:40 AM   #1
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Default I saw myself in a 3-way mirror ~ is that really me???

It is obvious that I have been in denial for a long time. For one, just looking into mirrors for my face, never for my whole body, and I wonder when did I stop that? About 15 years ago I guess, we moved into our new home and I mounted the full-length behind a door which is always closed. Well, no matter, the fact is, I was shopping in a big store trying on clothes the other day, desperate to find something ( I can't really remember what it was) and I got a glimpse of my entire back view. I did not recognize myself , and my emotions were as if I were looking at someone else, I felt complete shock. As is all too typical for me (now 53 as of this month) I closed my eyes, and shook my head , leaving the fitting room trying to forget as quick as possible.

The crazy thing is, I weigh less than I did 3 years ago when menopause was starting, but look totally different ; the fat has just lumped up in rolls all over my back and cascades over my undies, and moved up to my neck so that I have no chin, and now is beginning to make jowls.

In my youth it would have mattered a whole lot and I would have pounded myself into motivation and started an exercise & diet plan fast and furiously. Now I just don't seem to care, and would rather just forget about it. How is it that the prerequisite to weight gain is not caring, and how does the cause of the not caring happen? I guess what I'm saying, the weight is a symptom ~~ the not caring is the cause. I wouldn't give myself any reason to be unhappy, I live a lucky life, housewife with relatively no stress, and away from the city & racing life. My husband is kind (though a bit detached perhaps) and well, when did I stop caring to not even look in a mirror, so that it became what it is?

I use to think that I have to lose all that I gained since before peri, before I could be happy and feel desirable, but now I'd be happy with half that weight loss. So I've come back on 3FC after a bit of being absent, because I am on a weight gaining trend again (have gained 7 through the holidays) and want to 'hang out' with like-minded women. I've adjusted my present weight to add 7 pounds, and my goal weight from 139 to 149 and although I've GAINED weight since last time I was on, the number went from 40 down to 30 to lose ~~ lol ~~ at least that is a relief of some sort!
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Old 01-29-2015, 09:50 AM   #2
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My biggest shock is when I am in a store and get a glimpse of my reflection in a mirror and wonder why "that lady" is standing so close to me, before I realize the lady is me! ROFL

It's not just me. One time DH and I were in a store. He wandered away and as I looked for him I saw this man and thought "No, that's some old guy" before I realized it WAS DH. Seeing him day to day I didn't realize that all his hair and beard had gone gray, what was still there.

I think age has a lot do do with the weight moving around, even without weight gain. You may never be able to wear a bikini again, but you dress according to your body type and you "look just fine for an older lady." We can only do the best we can with what we have. Crepe neck and hanging jowls aren't so bad when you consider the alternative to getting old.

Smile! And good luck!
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Old 01-29-2015, 10:09 AM   #3
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Thanks for sharing Carol Sue. I don't get out and about often , find myself in 'those mirrors' once in about 3- 5 years it seems, especially since most of my clothes are from thrift shops or purchased online. Now maybe that is part of the problem, maybe I need to go out into those big department stores and shop and try on more, so I can at least see the results from the behind. Maybe 'window shopping' (that is, trying on clothes of varying kinds and sizes, in those fitting rooms with the big 3 way mirrors, not to buy, just to look) ought to be a kind of routine therapy for me. I'm thinking I ought to do this once a month !

I might surprise myself... already wondering if I could ever look good in a pair of 'boyfriend' jeans.
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Last edited by Hermit Girl : 01-29-2015 at 10:34 AM.
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Old 01-31-2015, 08:46 AM   #4
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One of the best things to keep me on my diet is to go shopping and try on clothes. It can be a shocker! Once I heard that if you try on clothes and you don't look better than you did before you put them on, don't buy them. I always have to try things on first. It might be the right size, but the cut or style might not be right for my body. One wall in my living room is mirror all the way down, so I get a glimpse full length every day.
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Old 02-01-2015, 09:09 AM   #5
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I see a different me in the mirror (when I take the time to actually look). It's pictures that give me the reality check. I don't like any of them. I look the same way to me as I did in the 190's. It's others comments that make me try to see that I am doing something. I too have to try on everything.
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Old 02-04-2015, 11:19 AM   #6
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It funny how in a large store I always see people look in the mirror and fix their hair or I just their clothes. I never look in the mirror when I'm out in public I barely look in my full length mirror that I have at home. I noticed that a few years ago that I really try to avoid mirrors. When I go out shopping that's when I get the really big shocker. And its not good.
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Old 02-04-2015, 11:44 AM   #7
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When we moved into our house we put the mirrors on the living room wall because the room was small and it gave it a more open look. I like it for that reason. My husband's elderly aunt always used to think it was another room. Luckily she never tried to walk in there. My step-daughter said it looked like JC Penneys. LOL

We also have a wall of mirrors in our game room, where I exercise. That is also a small room. So I get a full view on a regular basis.

Pictures are an altogether different story. I avoid the camera when I can, or I stand behind someone else.
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Old 02-17-2015, 09:19 AM   #8
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Back to this thread after about 3 weeks. I have decided that although I weigh myself everyday, that is not keeping me from denial, because it's just a number. I think I am going to have a look in the full length mirror at my backside more, and either naked or with underwear on, because it is the reality check I need.
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Old 02-21-2015, 03:29 PM   #9
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I also have those surprise moments, and for me it's not just in the mirror
but it is in photographs. I am shocked!

It's important that we stay accountable, and not let the shame or disappointment guide us.
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Old 02-21-2015, 03:34 PM   #10
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I just posted something very similar! I actually look in a mirror and I don't SEE how fat I am. Then I see my pictures and I am SHOCKED. But why would I be shocked? Numbers don't lie and I AM obese.

Much like you, I have no reason to be. I am happy. I'm blessed. Why did I stop caring? I don't know. But NOW I care, and I wan to lose this weight. Together, we can do it! Even if we just get out of the obesity range - that itself would be amazing!
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Old 02-26-2015, 04:20 PM   #11
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I have been lurking here, joined today, and can SOOOO relate to not realizing what's gone on until the mirror/picture made it a reality. That happened this past week when I tried to put on an outfit that I comfortably wore two years ago. The back fat and the belly had to belong to someone else - NOT ME! LOL...

Has your doctor made any suggestions that would help? Mine tells me to lose...does he think it's magic? The older I get (I'm 55), the more difficult it is to drop pounds. I gain them sooooo easily though.

Like you, Hermit Girl, I need the support of like-minded women of my own age group. I'm thinking of trying to be a SouthBeach diet person for a while - That worked for me about 10 years ago. I can't afford the 2011 foray of Jenny Craig. That worked, but was very expensive for me.
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Old 06-01-2015, 07:33 AM   #12
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I avoid mirrors. After I shower I put on a tank top and undies so I don't ever have to see at myself completely naked. Even with clothes on looking in the mirror is just depressing. I hate clothes shopping. As some have said, everything shifts in menopause. I have to buy jeans that are a size bigger to fit my waist and walk around with baggie legs. I take pilates and yoga and I wish they didn't have mirrors. I don't recognize myself anymore, body or face. I can't decide if make-up just makes things worse. Sometimes I feel like "what is the point".

Boy, am I a bummer or what.
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Old 06-06-2015, 09:35 PM   #13
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Default That is NOT me!

I started Optifast last Tuesday. I had my 7 year old Grandson take pictures of me before I started. I was HORRIFIED by the back view. I am a square with legs. I am used to the way I look in front, but that back view was an eye-opener!! I am 55 and ready to get as fit as I can.. but I will never, ever forget the shock of that photo - that will keep me going!!
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Old 06-07-2015, 03:14 AM   #14
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I have some rather large mirrors behind my bath tub in my bathroom but what really keeps me in check is that I take monthly pictures of myself in my underwear from front, side and behind. It doesn't hide a thing and keeps me from being in denial about my size. It also shows my progress and keeps me motivated. I looked down for years at my feet and avoided pictures and mirrors and when I looked up I was 355 pounds. I never want to do that again. So monthly I slap myself in the face with my pictures of me in my underwear that keeps track of my progress. So turn a negative into a positive Good Luck
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Old 06-07-2015, 09:18 PM   #15
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Hello ladies! I'm new here and can so relate. I'm scared to look at myself in photos or mirror but I need to so I can break out of my denial and get motivated! I'm 5 years post menopause and my weight has a very different distribution. I'm hoping weight training will help, I know I have lost so much muscle mass. I have lost and gained over 70 lbs so many time, my skin has now bounce back Anyone in my shoes but have lost? If so, how is your skin holding up?

I'm looking forward to getting to know you all!
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