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Losing weight at 50

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Old 05-24-2013, 08:30 AM   #226
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Good morning all!

The scales are finally, finally moving again and in the right direction! Whew! I was getting very discouraged as I had been stuck or yo-yo in the WRONG direction a couple of pounds for a solid month! But this morning I'm at 231.4, and yesterday was down to 233 from 234.2 so very, very happy. I'm unable to exercise until after my cardio testing is complete but I'm trying to just move and walk around as much as possible rather than sitting for long stretches as I usually do!

I hope you wonderful ladies have a great day!
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Old 05-24-2013, 04:36 PM   #227
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Exclamation I need some help.

Hello Everyone

Before my request for help I thought I would say hello to everyone, my internet wasn't working at home now I am looking after a friend's house and 9 pets and using her internet.
Cincorn- So sorry to hear about your health problems, it must be a very anxious time for you and your family . I hope you get all the medical help you need.Congratulations on losing some more weight and hope you can get fitter.
Tuscanny- Hope you are continuing on your regimen
Wannaskip where are you?
Cajun Lady
Not losing weight is better than putting it on, do not give up.
BBP
Motivation , yes that's a tough one. I could suggest writing three things that happened that made you want to lose weight and to write them out. I probably need to do that for myself and look at it often.
Betsy - Keep on going girl, keep active.
It seems easy to give out advice but I am not doing so well and need advice.
HELP!
I find my family and some of my friends are not at all helpful when it comes to my weight loss and I do not know or understand their own motivations for trying to make me put on weight .
Anyway, no privacy right now so will be brief. But am being totally tempted and encouraged to eat ice cream, chocolate, cookies, cakes, potato chips,endless wine you name it, help!
Basically my friend has bought tons of these foods for her family and specifically for me while I am house sitting and keeps phoning me up telling me to eat more and that she has bought four tubs of ice cream for me and doesn't want to see them when she gets back.
I am here cold, bored, tired, stressed, and surrounded by my danger foods ( she knows I am on a diet). Her son is dropping in too and is there at mealtimes and so I don't really have any privacy and he keeps telling me where more fattening foods are. I feel like an ex-drug addict surrounded by every type of free drug and little else to do here apart from watching the TV. Please can anyone think of something practical I can do so I don't leave here a few pounds heavier. Last time I was house-sitting here I focussed on trying to have self-control and completely failed.I am house-sitting for her also later in the summer and I need to learn to be around my danger foods somehow without suffering or eating.
Thank you my online friends!xx
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Old 05-24-2013, 06:05 PM   #228
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Oh Muse.. I am so sorry that you are in that situation. Gosh that is really tough... BUT... YOU ARE STRONGER than that food. YOU HAVE CONTROL... Just drink a glass of water everytime something (not in your plan to eat) calls your name. YOU are taking care of yourself and don't let someone elses leavings tempt you. YOU are in control... Not that food nor your friends or their son.

Your friend knows you are trying to become healthier and maybe you need to really let her know that you just can't have those things around you while you are working on yourself. I hope that she understands and listens. She really needs to listen to your request.

The only thing I can tell you to do is... Think of that food as "THEIRS" and that if you eat it you are stealing. That might get you past this!!!!

I believe in you!!
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Mini Goal 10% off (289) 4/14/13 #2 50lbs (270) 6/18/13 # 3 1/2 way (240) 1/18/14 #4 100lbs (220) 6/5/14 #5 (199)

You have to believe it first and then you will see it!!

1 for every 10 lbs lost

to Lothlorien 920 miles
traveled: 770.25 (exercise miles only) started 3/1/13
Remaining: 149.75 - Lothlorien!
Walk 2014 current X's = 193 -
540.25 miles walked. High steps 20043 7.28.14
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Old 05-24-2013, 06:47 PM   #229
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Hello There

Nice to see you online and thanks for your reply. My friend keeps phoning me up and saying :"I hope you are eating that ice cream". No I think she won't listen when I tell her I need to lose weight. She is the same with her overweight adult daughter, she gives her lots of chocolates, cookies, potato chips etc... and yet my friend is very very thin, it makes you wonder why on a subconscious level she wants her daughter to be overweight.
So maybe I shouldn't feel guilty for not eating the food she bought just for me . I feel sorry for her daughter, because my friend has a "chocolate day" with her once a week when they sit around watching TV and eat chocolate, but why she does this when her daughter is depressed from being overweight is a mystery to me . My obese father also tries to make me eat and drink as much as possible each time I see him, and then he bullies me about my weight or about my drinking, but I only drink alcohol with him, never on my own. Maybe I can then feel a bit of sympathy for myself. I would never buy someone who is trying to give up smoking a load of cigarettes and keep phoning them up and saying "I hope you are smoking those cigarettes now I bought them just for you". When I was in a slimming club and this situation occurred, the people supposed to support me were angry with me and told me off like I was some kind of naughty child, and like I was just a weak person. But I am a very strong and determined person, but certain foods are my weaknesses, they give me a bigger high than alcohol or sex.
Anyway their "kindness" in supplying me with fattening foods when I keep telling them my health is suffering , is making me angry and so if I end up flushing her four tubs of ice cream down the pan rather than eating it, I will do so even though I hate throwing food away and she can carry on believing that I ate it all. But she has also left me 8 boxes of chocolate candies, and cupboards full of cakes, biscuits and other things. I need to develop a really good strategy. I can't throw it all away, it's food for her family. I will keep a food diary, that might help.
Thank you so much for your response, just knowing someone out there can see that it's tormenting me to be surrounded by all these goodies and being made to feel guilty for not eating and then also guilty for eating is helpful.
ThankX
P. S. I shouldn't say four tubs of ice cream, I ate an entire tub already so it's now three.
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Old 05-24-2013, 09:24 PM   #230
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Oh MUSE.... Stop That.... PUT DOWN THE SPOON and leave those other 3 tubs of ice cream alooooonnnnneeeeeeeee loll.... My friend... just laugh at that food... Don't give it power.... You don't need it truly. No matter what anyone says to you (including me) you need to tell yourself what is important... People well sometimes they just want to give you what they think makes you happy. I think your friend is the same with her daughter. They (the friend) just does not know better.... They are not in the same shoes. I think (this is just my High School Psych here) that your Dad feels connected with you doing the drinking and eating.... That is something you have in common... and I really have a feeling that when he is yelling at you.... he is really yelling at himself. You know when they say when some points their finger at you... there are 4 fingers pointing back to them Uh HUH!

My mind trick when there is something that I just love stairing at me is to say... gosh... if I really want that.. well it will be there tomorrow. As it will be there tomorrow if it is really that important. Then tomorrow I say the same thing.... until it gets alot easier...

Just walk outside or dance like the crazy nut you had described earlier to the fun music and laugh.... That bad food will disappear from your mind when you are having fun !!!
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Mini Goal 10% off (289) 4/14/13 #2 50lbs (270) 6/18/13 # 3 1/2 way (240) 1/18/14 #4 100lbs (220) 6/5/14 #5 (199)

You have to believe it first and then you will see it!!

1 for every 10 lbs lost

to Lothlorien 920 miles
traveled: 770.25 (exercise miles only) started 3/1/13
Remaining: 149.75 - Lothlorien!
Walk 2014 current X's = 193 -
540.25 miles walked. High steps 20043 7.28.14

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Old 05-24-2013, 10:42 PM   #231
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Oh, Muse...No, No, No, No more ice cream!! That's rather sad that your friend keeps trying to guilt you into eating things you shouldn't, especially when she knows you're on a diet.

I don't know if this will help, but whenever I'm faced with a a similar situation... there's something I want to eat, but I know I shouldn't, I try to imagine what I will feel like 10 minutes from now if I eat it. I say to myself, "Now, self...if you eat that chocolate, 10 minutes from now the chocolate will be all gone. And what will you be left with...a guilty feeling for having eaten it! But, if you don't eat it, you'll feel a LOT better 10 minutes from now."

I'm swamped at work right now, putting in 16-18 hour days. It gets like this now and then when a pressing client matter arises. I will be working throughout the weekend. I've been sticking to my diet these past few days, but I haven't been able to exercise, because there just aren't enough hours in the day. With a bit of luck, I'll be able to squeeze in at least one walk this weekend, although I suspect that will be all I'll have time for.

Cincorn: Glad to see the scales are finally moving for you.
Cajun: Hope your scales start co-operating soon!

Hugs to those I've missed...gotta run and get back to work...bye for now.
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Old 05-25-2013, 06:42 AM   #232
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Hello my lovely friends

Thank you so much Wannaskip and Tuscanny
I haven't eaten anymore ice cream. I have to say things look a lot brighter this morning. I am still going through all kinds of emotions at the moment and am particularly vulnerable to needing my mood uplifting. After some sleep I realised my heartache and financial pressures and uncertainties of the future together with exhaustion, are making it hard to think or feel coherently at times. I cannot deny that I do feel a lot happier in myself and fulfilled after eating ice cream or one of my danger foods, it's only at a much later point maybe a few months later that I start to regret it hugely. So best to regret it now and try again. Yesterday was a particularly stressful day.
A bit and support from both of you is very very much appreciated. If I can sort out desperate urges to eat my danger foods in times of difficulty then I can probably deal with my weight better for the rest of my life.
-Wannaskip I hope your diet and activities are going really well and yes I will point four fingers back at my dad somehow, that's another big problem area, he is elderly and alone but he absolutely won't see me unless we go out and eat in a restaurant, and spend all day long there, which saves me money on food so I shouldn't complain. Wanna skip, you are a diamond!
Tuscanny
I understand it is very hard with a heavy workload to find any time to do anything but sleep and eat, but you have done so very well so far, and a bit of clearing or housework at the end of the day might help, or go out to get a breath of fresh air and clear your head for a quick walk.
Thank you Tuscanny too for all your support and advice. You are a diamond too!

My Ex or possible ex just phoned he is coming over to see the pets I am looking after and me, I had nightmares about this last night. Well I am going to go to the supermarket now, it will mean two miles of walking there and back and I will buy mangos and nice less calorific alternatives to the food she left me so I am less tempted.
Have a great weekend everyone and watch out for weekend food and drink temptations. XXX
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Old 05-25-2013, 03:22 PM   #233
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Muse,..... Are you hanging in there? With the cranky ex there visiting too? Don't let food become the wrong answer for any emotion!!!!!

HUG yourself.... DANCE around the room Just like you love... Make Music!!
__________________


Mini Goal 10% off (289) 4/14/13 #2 50lbs (270) 6/18/13 # 3 1/2 way (240) 1/18/14 #4 100lbs (220) 6/5/14 #5 (199)

You have to believe it first and then you will see it!!

1 for every 10 lbs lost

to Lothlorien 920 miles
traveled: 770.25 (exercise miles only) started 3/1/13
Remaining: 149.75 - Lothlorien!
Walk 2014 current X's = 193 -
540.25 miles walked. High steps 20043 7.28.14
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Old 05-25-2013, 03:59 PM   #234
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I want to join in here. I'm 52+ and I'm struggling to find joy with being my age...as if it was a choice! What I appreciate about my older self is that when I sneak a peak at the 20-somethings forum, I am sooooooooo happy that I'm not like that any longer! I value every lesson I've learned and all my wisdom.

But part of me still feels so youthful. Not young, definitely youthful. Or maybe not youthful. Perhaps I'm merely feeling no need to be caught up with the pace of the youth-oriented, media-obsessed Western world any longer. I can choose to be as hip as is meaningful to me. I can choose to open my world-view as widely as I can stand it and not be limited by the shoulds and the should-nots.

Last week, while watching The Late Late Show with Craig Fergusson, he was remarking how, at his 51st birthday, he really didn't give a rat's behind about so many things. And that getting old was truly Punk Rock. I want a t-shirt that says that!

Muse, I see X only briefly, once a year when he comes to visit our sons. He lives overseas with his mail-order bride. I really don't care to ever have contact with him again. I recently learned that he's coming to stay in my town for three weeks in September. He's not even from here! Why the heck does he need to be here? Why can't he go somewhere else and then just pick up the boys on the weekends? What would I do if he wanted to talk to me? What could he possibly have to say?

I spent three weeks losing a lot of sleep over that, trying to troubleshoot all possible scenarios in my head as I lay in bed. It brought my weight loss trend to a crashing halt! I finally figured out that I'm the only one in the relationship that was causing myself stress. So, I accepted (sort of) my responsibility in it and have tried to figure out how to not do that any more. Not a master of it yet. I don't want to think about it, but it just happens the moment my head hits the pillow. Trying to figure out what to do instead. Knitting. TV. A nightly beauty routine. Reading. Listening to the radio. Doing planks and some myofascial release. Kick boxing...with intent.
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Old 05-27-2013, 04:15 AM   #235
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Hello everyone
Wannaskip thanks for your support, I am sure I would have eaten twice as much without this forum
Hello Georgia
Thanks for telling me about your problems with your ex. Yes at this age we are all likely to have a troublesome ex somewhere or married to our first love. Another ex of mine texted me yesterday and wants to see me tonight. I haven't answered him. The one I saw on Sunday I am trying to break up with already.We are meant to be on a trial separation, anyway after I saw him now he wanted me to see him again "very soon" and he keeps wanting to hug me. What is wrong with these men? I am 52, overweight, not pretty, feel like I definitely just want to be on my own, or at least in a relationship with some kind of a future and I keep telling them so. I guess I have to stop feeling so down about everything and take it as a compliment.
Well I'm afraid I have failed totally on the trying to lose weight front and have put on a tiny bit of weight , only half a pound, but believe me I could have come back from that three days house-sitting 3 to 5 pounds heavier.
This morning when I woke up I pulled a muscle in my back and now doing everything is painful. I just took a calcium, magnesium and zinc pill that sometimes helps when my muscle freeze up. Zinc can have other unwanted or wanted effects in the area of sex drive though.
Going to rest my back now.
Thanks to you all . Sorry I failed to distract myself while house-sitting ( I had no privacy to do what I wanted, and had no bed to sleep in,crazy situation)but I like Georgia's list.
I need to find ways of dealing with feeling tired, bereaved, down, on the verge of becoming homeless, stressed about situations that I cannot control, being treated like I'm clueless or a servant in various situations, without resorting to eating my "danger foods", so far nothing compares to food though. I still it's better than some of the alternatives.
Thanks for all your help and sorry to be negative, my back is in pain!
Thanks xxx
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Old 05-27-2013, 07:50 AM   #236
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Good morning ladies! I'm back from a camping trip where I indulged in 7 low carb beers in the course of the weekend. The food wasn't really an issue. We were camping with some cajun friends who boiled crawfish, and I took some appropriate low carb foods....it was the beer that was the problem for me.
Weighed in this morning and gained .4 lbs. Not bad at all, I feared it would be much worse! So I'm at 231.8 this morning. I've got 1 week to before my vegas trip and we are meeting some friends from California there. We are staying at The Mirage and I understand they have a fabulous pool! Our friends are renting a private cabana for the day and I'm really excited but also kind of humiliated to be in a swimsuit in public. I never have at this weight! But I keep thinking that even obese people should be able to enjoy the water. I LOVE the water, the ocean...always have...but hollywood has made us believe that the beach or resort swimming pools are only for the young, slender, hard-bodies and I fully expect to get some of those looks that will hurt and shame me.
The oldest daughter, the one with borderline personality disorder, is up to her tricks again, texting her daddy and trying to drive a wedge between us. Even if I have no contact with her she tries to hurt me in any way she can. If you haven't read my prior posts on the subject, then all I will say is this daughter has caused the rest of our family so much heartbreak and grief in the past 4 years. I fell into a deep depression sat around eating for much of that time. I'm so much better now...have decided to enjoy the family and friends I have that want to be with me and with the grace of God...move on.

I hope you ladies have a wonderful week. I have all my final cardio testing thursday and don't know when I'll get any results. I'm waiting for a clean bill of health so I can exercise!

Here's a weeks worth of for all of you lovely ladies!
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Old 05-27-2013, 08:27 AM   #237
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Default Swim girl swim!

Hello Cincorn

I just wanted to say, go swim or enjoy the water. I did recently even though I needed a shoe-horn to get into my swimming costume which is now two sizes two small. My mother would never go swimming, she was very overweight although she was very thin in her youth. My mother used to get very depressed about her weight and how she looked and would go to the beach with the family and we all felt a bit sad when we all went swimming without her.
So I refuse to feel too bad about being overweight and I would swim, dance, I'd ski if I could afford to!
Have a great time in Vegas and hope one day you and your daughter can enjoy eachother's company again. You never know what might happen in the future.
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Old 05-27-2013, 04:19 PM   #238
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Cincorn, my mother is 83 and is narcissistic personality disordered. She's now lives with my sister about 45 minutes from me, but she used to live in town near me and made my life a living h*** on a daily basis. I had to cut myself off from her completely and can only deal with managing her life in the background. Since moving in with my sister, she tries to pit us against each other all the time. My sister and I made a pact to be totally up front with each other regarding all the garbage our mother tries with each of us. For someone who claims to be so old, feeble and to be pitied, she seems to have a lot of energy for her efforts to manipulate us! I too spent a lot of time managing the stress connected to my dealings with her using food. I recall being able to put away a whole bucket of KFC extra crispy chicken all by myself, along with the biscuits and coleslaw, when I used to go visit her. Now I do planks and push-ups and some costal breathing exercises. Works like a charm and doesn't cost me a thing!

You are in my prayers!
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Old 05-28-2013, 11:24 AM   #239
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Thank you geoblewis! So many people do not understand what it's like to deal with a personality disordered individual. My daughter will not seek help. It's everyone else, not her. Her mom, dad, sister, ex-husband, several ex-friends, including those declared "best friends for life!". If you disappoint her in any way she's through with you and moves onto fresh victims. It's called "splitting"...people with BPD see people as all good or all bad and will paint you as "white" or "black"... Narcisstic Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personality, and Borderline Personality disorder all have many similiar characteristics and often a person has more than one. As a mother of a daughter with personality disorder; many people feel you must be responsible! You MUST have done something wrong! I mean she must have been neglected or abused right? I can assure you that she wasn't and if anything had time, money, and attention lavished on her. Anyway, this just adds to the guilt you already feel as you look back and wonder what did you do wrong??? I developed mono in the hospital where she was born c-section, and felt so awful and had no help so I laid on the couch for about a month...Did I not hold her enough??? Stuff like that, over and over in your head. More likely it's because her biological father has BPD and it IS hereditary. We divorced when she was 4 and I remarried when she was 5 1/2 to a wonderful man who ended up adopting her shortly after we were married when her own father requested it because he didn't want to pay child support. He then left her life completely and maybe caused her to feel abandoned? Thanks again for your understanding. Prayers for you in coping with this situation and I recommend these 2 books. The first I think especially for your situation, is called "Emotional Vampires-dealing with people who drain you dry" and "Walking on eggshells" which is geared more towards BPD, but again they are all 3 cluster B "dramatic/erratic" personality disorders with many of the same characteristics so it could be beneficial too. They have helped me!

Oh, and she also does that "pitting" one family member or friend against another.She changes friends or groups of friends regularly. She is very beautiful and charismatic though, so she has no trouble finding more victims. She is a master manipulator and compulsive liar. Her father was the same way...sigh...I thought being raised without his influence would prevent her from being like him, I didn't understand then that it is a disorder that is genetic. The man I married when she was 5 and her sister 3, who adopted them, is still my husband 29 yrs. later and he was a wonderful father to both of them. We didn't have any children together and they WERE his to him. In fact, to many people she claims she loves him and it's only me and her sister she won't have anything to do with, however that is just for public consumption as in reality she doesn't have anything to do with him either. She has not been a very attentive mother to her own 3 children, but thankfully they have a good father. She divorced him last year and remarried within a few months a man with 3 kids. She included us in the wedding, barely, but treated me poorly and humiliated me publicly. Immediately after the wedding she picked a fight because I didn't take pictures at her wedding. There was a professional photographer there who had promised me a CD...now I've been to a lot of wedding's and NEVER seen the mother of the bride taking pictures. She even had her new husband attack me over this! Sigh...it's always like this...anything I say or do is blown up out of proportion and she perceives slights and insults when none were intended. She then tells me shes done with me (again) and I can't see my grandchildren anymore (again). Thankfully, we live in a small town and have a good relationship with our ex-son-in-law and so she can't stop us from going to their games or activities and he also lets us have them. It's the ultimate roller coaster ride from and it's taken me almost 4 years to get off!

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Old 05-28-2013, 11:50 AM   #240
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Thanks Muse! I AM going to go and have a good time. I may allow a picture to be taken of me in the swimsuit so I can use it as a good BEFORE picture!
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