Good morning! I'm seriously angry and depressed. I cannot even get started with my weight loss. I can't figure out what is stopping me. I'm to the point where I don't even want to leave the house. I have a membership to Curves - and I can't even get myself to go. I know what I have to do, but I just can't get motivated. Any ideas?
Barbie,
For me it was deciding I was ready to begin again. Next it's having a plan of exactly what I'm going to eat and keeping a food diary (mostly!) I'd say you need to get out of the house. Volunteer at your kid's school, visit a nursing home, anything to get busy.
I'm using my LA Weight Loss material. They have a Fast Start, two day menu that works great for me. Having a limited choices for a couple of days is good for breaking away from resent bad choices and jump start the weigh-loss.
For two days you eat two eggs, unlimited lean protein, unlimited raw green veggies, four glasses of a super nutritious juice like Knudsen's Morning Blend, eight glasses of water, lite salt.
I'll be thinking of you - now go take a walk!
Heather
Not sure what you are planning on doing but with WW and/or calorie counting I find it helps seeing it as a game. You count your points or calories and try to get see how many "perfect" days you can do. A good start. After the first weigh in it is also about pounds you drop. I found that very motivational especially here on 3FC to update my ticker. (Until you get a ticker, try to lose as many pounds you can to get a good head start)
Exercising came later for me. At first I wanted to concentrate on getting my eating on plan in order. No worries, most of the weight loss is because of reduced calorie intake not calories burned. So take it easy in the beginning if you want. I started working out with the Wii which is more games in my opinion. Later I discovered C25k (http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml) and found that quite motivating! (Me? Running? Who would have thought...) Now I "compete" with other 3FCers on fitocracy.com
I am on what I hope will be my FINAL diet to lose weight - and for me, it was a question of finally finding the diet that clicked perfectly with me. It's very restrictive (no grains, starches or sugars) but somehow it's been so easy for me to stay on plan.
So I would say to think about trying something that gets you excited about starting, and if you aren't able to get motivated to start, then you need to keep looking for a plan that will give you that motivation.
Another thing that was very helpful for me was that I had several friends on another email board (a general one so weight loss is not the focus but we have a thread to talk about it) all started the same plan around the same time. So maybe you can find some friends in real life or on 3FC or another online community that you can get started with?
Below is a list of my "get back on the wagon" strategies -
Here are my best 10 ideas to get "back on track"
1) Go find someone on any 3FC Board who is in trouble & give them 10 ideas.
2) Go to www.dwlz.com & spend some time playing around there.
3) While you are in www.dwlz.com, download Weight Commander and spend time playing with it.
4) Make yourself a pot of herbal tea, put it in your best teapot and pour yourself several cups while you are on the computer.
5) Find a good meal recipe that is around 400 cals/serving; make it; package the servings in separate baggies; eat one.
6) Think of a good challenge you would like to set for yourself & post it on the 50+ Board. We'll join you in the challenge & it will be a lot easier to do it!
7) Identify 5 things you did today that were good/nice. Write them on an index card and put it on your refrigerator.
8) Go to at least one 3FC Board that you rarely visit & read through 1 page of messages.
9) Think of a goal that you could meet this week. Challenge yourself to do it.
10) Turn off TV, turn on some good music, lie back and spend 10 minutes imagining how you will spend a day after you meet your weight goal - be specific - start with when you wake up in the morning and go through day until bedtime.
Why not start out just with the goal of maintaining where you are at?
Everyone is different and it takes different things to motivate us. We can't know what that is for you and you're question should be "What will keep me motivated?" What keeps me motivated is fast weight loss, not slow.
So instead of worrying about how to lose weight at this time, since you haven't found what works for you, try maintaining your current weight for a few weeks.
I was losing weight FAST on my diet, but then got the "poor me's" and dropped from losing 16 to 12lbs a month to 0lbs. So instead of going back to my old eating habits, I let myself off the hook and decided to "just maintain" the weight I was at for a while.
It took me 2 months to get re-motivated to start again. That motivation was when I saw the scale go up 5lbs in one week. Now I'm down 10lbs in the last 3 weeks.
You can't get anywhere positive by beating yourself up. You can't think your way out of that hole. So you have to find a way to ease up on yourself and take some time to think about what kind of foods you love and how you can incorporate them into a weight loss program for yourself. Well, that's just a suggestion, if taking away those foods works for you and makes you happy, then do it.
I think motivation is highly overated. If you wait for the "it" moment, it may never come. Try planning. Make a menu of meals for a week and you won't have to think about what you're going to eat. Set a time when you're going to exercise and when that time comes, just GO! Be sure to pick a time when it's actually convient so you won't have an excuse not to go. If you can't go out to exercise (at Curves) go for a walk. Every little bit helps.
Come visit us at Golden Girls. We are pretty good at cheering you on.
wonderful answers all, but ladyinweighting---amen! I absolutely love your "ten" strategy...
babsylw - most likely you already know how to do this but the secret got....secreted. It doesn't matter what plan you follow....so long as you take in less calories. You don't even have to start off with that "all or nothing" mindset--throw that out the window. Make a small start. Don't plan to starve yourself. Find a calorie counting site (there are plenty) and put in your current information--it will tell you how many calories you are currently eating to maintain that current weight. Then, subtract 500 calories from that data and begin. You'd be amazed how little less food it takes to remove just 500 calories from your day.
As you lose, you remove more calories. The more you weigh, the more food you get; the less you weigh the less food you get. It really is that simple.
At some point you add in the exercise It will come.
My motivational moment was really a non-event. I just decided that it was time to get pro-active and stop the madness. I know how to lose weight; I've done it plenty of times. I don't know how to maintain the weight loss, and I really feel that this time I GET IT.
The calorie counting was shrouded in every plan I ever followed. Slim fast, QWLC, weight watchers, herbalife - really just a reduction in calories. I didn't understand that I didn't have to suffer. I didn't have to be hungry. All I had to do was ... eat a little less. Later, move a little more.
You got this. You know this. You want this.
Make a plan. You don't get anywhere without a plan.
You want to get from Here to There. Eventually you'll see where you Were, and Here becomes more bearable on the way to There.
Do it. There is no time like right now to make a difference.
Sure I'm motivated to lose weight before a beach vacation so I look better in a swimsuit, but I've found that motivation alone is not enough. I guess what we all need is self-discipline to follow whatever health plan we've chosen. Self-discipline is what we use to make our beds in the morning, keep our homes clean, etc. and it's what we need to use to stick to healthy eating plans and exercise as well.
124chicksinger was very clear in how to calculate calories to lose weight, but only our discipline will keep us to that number.
Good morning! I'm seriously angry and depressed. I cannot even get started with my weight loss. I can't figure out what is stopping me. I'm to the point where I don't even want to leave the house. I have a membership to Curves - and I can't even get myself to go. I know what I have to do, but I just can't get motivated. Any ideas?
Hi, I'm pretty new here & I just read your note. I'm reading because this week I've binged on 3 bags of chips & dip. It's been cold & rainy & that is when my cravings start. I made a big pot of chili for myself to fight my cravings. My hubby stresses me out big-time. To Lose get back to my TOPS Club goal I have to lift hand-weights & walk on the treadmill for 20 minutes 5days a week to stay at my goal or I'll lose my KOPS goal at TOPS. Nobody is going to be perfect at weight loss. Just start again whenever you get off-track & if you Bite It....Write It.... that is our weekly tops routine to have a food journal to track our 'healthy week losses' Feel free to stay in contact with me because I slip-up & also binge when my hubby is a jerk
So many things are "different" this time, that I can't pinpoint them all, but one of the things that was very important to me, was to see that most of the things that held me back in the past - I had learned to do.
I wasn't lazy, crazy, or stupid - I was following the path set before me.
We're "taught" to diet by following a pattern that is pretty much doomed to failure. A patern that would be fatal if we applied it to mountain climbing (if you stumble, throw yourself off the rock face, so you can "start fresh" from the bottom).
"Everyone does it," and even though we're also taught to "punish ourselves for failure," failure is part of the package we learn.
To succeed, you have to rethink weight loss, and invent a new path that works - because the old path - the one we see almost everyone traveling - it's a dead end.
We're taught to see only losses (and usually only certain losses) as sucess. A "too small" loss is seen as nearly as horrible as a gain.
We doom ourselves to feeling failure more than success, and then wonder why we get demotivated and quit.
Quitting in the face of failure is not cowardice or weakness - it's intelligence. How long would you work at job with no paycheck? How long would you pursue a singing or acting career, if no one ever hired you?
The problem is, we definie success in a way in which success is virtually impossible. Only "being perfectly on plan" and "losing at least x lbs per week," count as success and everything else is failure.
But with weight loss, people aren't quitting because they're failing - they're quitting because they've defined success as failure. Because we define success in such a way, that virtually no one can acheive it.
Just by redefining success as not just weight loss, but weight maintenance as well, I instantly increased my success rate. Now, when I get on the scale and don't see a gain, I celebrate like mad. Whoopie, I did not gain a pound today.
My goal for tomorrow? To also not gain a pound, and maybe, possibly, hopefully lose a little bit more.
I don't look at the 150 or more pounds I still have to go, I just focus on keeping off what I've lost, and maybe trying to just lose one more - while adding stuff to my life.
Initally, I didn't think I could lose weight permanently or keep it off (because I never had). I decided I was going to make healthy changes that I was willing to commit to even if absolutely no weight loss resulted (and at first weight loss didn't result), but the more changes I made, the healthier I became (even without the weight loss) and then (almost magically, it seemed) the weight started coming off.
Now, weighing daily isn't "depressing," it's extremely motivating - because every day I get to celebrate something. Even if I gain. If tomorrow, I find that I have gained a pound, I still get to celebrate having maintained a 97 lb loss. And I will then have the goal to lose pound number 98 again. And when I have lost lb number 99, I can celebrate not only losing 1 lb, but having maintained the other 98. Woo - hoo success and celebration at every turn.
And success breeds success. We're not taught to focus on success when it comes to weight loss. We're taught to be harsh, overly-judgemental, pessimistics critics of ourself. No matter what we accomplish -we think we should have accomplished more. But reward works a lot better than punishment as an incentive. When you focus on and actually SEE and FEEL success, it inspires you to acheive more and to reach higher to experience that rush of success.
You don't have to follow my example (especially since it's taken me 7 years to get off 98 lbs), but you do have to try something that you've never tried before. Because if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you have always gotten.
Regardless, anger and depression over weight loss has got to go. It's part-and-parcel of the "tradition" that doesn't work. There's even evidence that anger and stress and other negative emotions actually releases hormones that inhibits weight loss. So, if you can't shake your depression on your own, seek help (counseling and medication have been shown to work better together than alone).
Do what you need to in order to truly EXPERIENCE success. Because feeling successful (by not focusing on what we are accomplishing each day - not what we wish we were, or think we're supposed to) is the best fuel for more success.
Most people don't quit diets because they're failing, but because they're taught to see their success as failure.
I wish I'd realized that sooner - because my success this time has been slower than any of my past failures. Every diet I ever quit (because I felt I was "failing") I quit while I was losing faster than I've lost any of my 98 lbs. By my old definition of success, I haven't succeeded off even one pound, which is why I often say that I have "failed off 98 lbs."
I wasn't failing then, and I'm not failing now. I've just learned to recognize success.
My doctor helped me see this. I complained to h im that I should be losing more than 1 lb a month (my weight loss rate at the time), and should be losing at least 2 lbs a week "like a normal person."
My doctor told me I was basically full of crap, and that "normal" people don't lose 2 lbs a week. Normal people don't lose 1 lb a month. Either because they're losing slow like me, or because they're not trying, or because they've given up and regained. Normal is giving up - so just not giving up put me at the head of the race, not trailing behind.
Weight loss is like a marathon. We see 500 people ahead of us, so we assume we're in last place, unaware of the 20,000 people behind us.
Just being here, even one day, puts us in the lead. Now, you can stay in the lead, or you can fall behind. It's up to you.
P.S. I highly recommend TOPS (taking off pounds sensibly) it's an inexpensive alternative to Weight Watchers (about 1/10 the cost, or less), except you can follow any food plan of your choosing (for under $15 you can buy the TOPS book, The Choice is Mine which describes exchange plan dieting. Also many chapters have a loaner copy, or you can find a member willing to give or sell their copy cheaply).
Not only do TOPS chapters usually run fun, motivational contests in which you can win small amounts of cash and other prizes for weight loss, you also get to see what normal weight loss really looks like.
I learned, for example, through my own chapter and it's contests that the "average" weight loss for our group is less than 1/2 lb per person, per week, and that most members have at least one gain per month (because every month, members who have not had a gain, split $10. And out of almost 30 members, it's extremely rare to have more than 2 or at most 3 winners. And sometimes there are no winners - in which case the money rolls over, and the next month's winners split $20).
Seeing that you're not behind everyone else, is extremely motivating.
I also recommend not only a food journal, but an exercise log as well. When I first started, I simply clipped a step-counting pedometer on my shoes (because I wouldn't forget to put it on, in the morning) and tried to beat the previous day's record, even if only by a few steps.
Prove to yourself that you are succeeding, and then celebrate the success, and you'll want to do more. Aim anger, disappointment, disgust and other negative feelings and feelings of failure at yourself, and you'll want to give up.
You can BUILD yourself up, or tear yourself down. And while it doesn't feel like a choice (because we're just doing what we usually see almost everyone else on this journey doing).
Surround yourself with people who aren't doing the "normal" things - and you can find those people here and at weight loss support groups like TOPS and WW (One advantage, besides price, that TOPS has is that TOPS weight recorders announce the total gains as well as the total losses - so you can see how you're doing compared to everyone else, by dividing the net results by the number of members - it's how I learned that the "average" weight loss was less than 1/2 lb per week (and research at the Medical School of Wisconsin found that TOPS and other non-profit weight loss support groups are just as effective as WW in terms of the amount of weight loss and keeping the weight loss off. If you like WW better, that's great, but if you can't afford WW, it's nice to know that the cheaper options are just as effective, providing you attend the meetings regularly).
For me turning 50 really opened my eyes. I'm not a twenty year old anymore. I realized I have spent my entire adult life (and most of my childhood life) over weight. I would get out of my car and walk up the parking lot into a store and not be able to catch my breath when inside. I just got tired of waking up each day feeling tired before I got out of bed. But the biggest reason of all: I thought of my future grandchildren (I'm not a grand mom yet) I wanted to be healthy to enjoy the kids. I guess the reasons we each start with our weight loss journey is as unique to us as our finger print. All the stories are different- but our joys and struggles watching that scale number grow smaller are the same. I really like what Kaplods said, "My goal for tomorrow? To also not gain a pound, and maybe, possibly, hopefully lose a little bit more. " I feel like too. I'm just so happy to not gain. And losing a Lb. every couple of weeks is a very good thing! Keep us posted
Hi, your post was Very inspiring. I have problems like I love peanut butter cup candy, etc. . If I was not a KOP in my TOPS club I know I would be wearing a size 14 again instead of a size 10, but it is hard to maintain my weight goal. Being at goal 'KOP' is hard with a 3# gain leeway to maintain. At TOPS I gave a program on how I stay at my current goal, maybe it can also Help somebody else here, daily I: walk outdoors with my doggies or on my treadmill 5 minutes for every meal & snack that I eat; I eat at least 16 grams of Fiber; I eat Protein with every meal; I use Kosher salt instead of table salt after reading the health studies; I eat desserts with a baby spoon to make small servings last longer. I forgive myself for eating badly & try again to eat sensibly At TOPS we keep daily food journals - If You Bite It...You Have To Write It to keep us accountable for Gains or Losses It's easy to 'gain & become unhealthy' . I need some buddies here at '3 Fat Chicks' to keep me healthy & lose 10# more. I don't know how to do a 'buddy list here'. Does anyone need a 'support buddy'? Time to go eat a pudding cup & walk away from the Halloween candy
miniDoodles. I will be your support buddy. I just joined and opened a thread both in the INTRODUCTION thread under "Need Motivation" and under CARB COUNTERS thread " Need help getting motivated" (or something close to those titles)... which gives a little backround.
I am looking for someone to talk to when I reach the rough days. I'm hoping this forum will provide that.
I have always had a hard time to be motivated to diet, and then didn't see enough results fast enough to keep me motivated until now......I had a friend on the Ideal Protein Diet and saw the results on her. I started doing a high protein, low carb, low fat diet and the weight is coming off!! The protein keeps me from being hungry and I discovered Walden Farms products at the grocery store which have absolutely no calories, no carbs, no anything but gives me terrific salad dressings, syrups, etc. The weight is steadly dropping which keeps me motivated too. I like the idea of a package food with no counting, etc of calories (although I do keep a log). Find the diet that works for you and that you find easy. If it is too complicated or involves too much to prepare, you are less likely to stay motivated.
How in the world do I get motivated?
or I'll lose my KOPS goal at TOPS. Nobody is going to be perfect at weight loss. Just start again whenever you get off-track & if you Bite It....Write It....
that is our weekly tops routine to have a food journal to track our 'healthy week losses' 
Feel free to stay in contact with me because I slip-up & also binge when my hubby is a jerk 
to keep us accountable for Gains or Losses 
It's easy to 'gain & become unhealthy' 
. I need some buddies here at '3 Fat Chicks' to keep me healthy & lose 10# more. I don't know how to do a 'buddy list here'. Does anyone need a 'support buddy'? Time to go eat a pudding cup & walk away from the Halloween candy 
