Denial assistance

gonnadoitthistime · 06-02-2011, 05:38 PM

Hi to everyone,
I think it is pretty common to feel smaller after losing a little weight, which for me, removes some of my motivation. Maybe that really common, you know the pants get loose, moving actually feels a little different. Silly maybe.
I do not own a full length mirror anymore, used to have several, but each one made me look different, so I think that unless you have a really good mirror, it is not that much of a help.

So, anyway, I decided for a reality check to take video of myself on my laptop, and wow, its helping. I have always been kind of unrealistic about my looks and weight (forget the term). Had bulimia in high school, full blown anorexia in my twenties, and the thing where even though I was in a size 5, all I could see in the mirror was the fat that needed to go.

Looking at my videos is helping me have more of a sense of my body and am trying to see the good and bad.

geoblewis · 06-02-2011, 06:06 PM

I think this is a really good idea. Thanks for sharing it!

I struggle with a mental disconnect between what I see in the mirror and my self-concept. I'm trying to learn to love myself for who I am and to really find the true beauty in myself that I value. I start to feel really good about myself when I'm on top of my eating plan, I exercise, clothes feel looser and I physically feel good. When I catch a glimpse of my full image, a huge part of me feels like I'm not entitled to feeling that good. I need to see myself for who I am, as I am, feeling that good!

maryea · 06-02-2011, 10:24 PM

I think the video is a great idea! geoblewis, I'm the same way. When I lose a little I think I'm doing well, feel good about myself, then I look in the mirror and it's like I didn't lose ...and I just want to give up. I don't and I never will but I feel that way.

gonnadoitthistime · 06-07-2011, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by geoblewis

I think this is a really good idea. Thanks for sharing it!

I struggle with a mental disconnect between what I see in the mirror and my self-concept. I'm trying to learn to love myself for who I am and to really find the true beauty in myself that I value. I start to feel really good about myself when I'm on top of my eating plan, I exercise, clothes feel looser and I physically feel good. When I catch a glimpse of my full image, a huge part of me feels like I'm not entitled to feeling that good. I need to see myself for who I am, as I am, feeling that good!

I so agree! Maybe a part of having weight issues is that disconnect and for me I know that that fluxtuating concept of my physical self has always been a problem whether I was big or small or in between. So far the videos are helping me get a baseline and are somewhat motivating. (After I tell myself to get over being horrified because it's not helping and for me is a form of self indulgent self pity, like "oh no, disgusting, no hope for me".
There is a huge difference doing this and using mirrors, for me anyway.

gonnadoitthistime · 06-07-2011, 10:57 PM

Had to go to the store, did a quick video before leaving, and kept the image of my profile and rear in my head and managed to avoid buying anything bad!

one small bowl · 06-13-2011, 02:36 PM

I take lots of photo's in my mirror, often weekly or at least monthly. I too have such a hard time seeing the loss, and sometimes when I think I feel so much thinner, the photo's shock me back to reality, that I am still obese and have only made it to the halfway mark. I still have such a long way to go. I need that reality check. I believe my lack of significant weight loss for the last year has been due to not feeling the need as much to get smaller. So I have been working on re-inspiration and dedication by changing up a few things. I need more mirror work as well, it's too easy to be in denial when clothes fit better and we can move with more ease. I am NOT at a normal weight yet, I remind myself, I must keep on keeping on....

Laffalot · 06-13-2011, 02:57 PM

Hi Everyone - I too find that since I've lost a bit & my clothes feel better that I've been in "denial" or something like that. I've lost some motivation, not all but some, & really have to get after myself to get back OP all the way. I don't have a full length mirror anymore either but I'm thinking I should get one - they don't lie! So glad to have this site for the support & the "not feeling alone" in this "journey". THANK YOU! TTYL

JOLINA · 06-13-2011, 03:15 PM

I toss out all my clothes as they get baggy. But I saved all my smaller sizes.
So I get out a few old clothes that are still too tight to wear.
It reminds me I have more to lose.

Breezy10 · 06-14-2011, 10:10 AM

Reading all your posts here is so encouraging--I do think there is something to the thought of losing some weight and losing motivation...

For me, it is like my thought is: "okay, you've lost ten pounds, now you can just have fun and eat what you want." LIE of course--but that has been my way of thinking for years. I am realizing more and more that I've been lying to myself and I need to stop and wake up.

So now I'm back on a program but I'm trying to make it a lifestyle change. I'm trying to find "doable" and "reasonable" ways in which to keep my weight down and to keep it off. So things get tweeked occasionally.

I'm not downgrading those who diet. I still do it too. What works for one may not work for another....

Anyway I'm excited to be back on this forum and getting acquainted with all of you.

Jolina--I like the idea of throwing out baggy clothing--this helps keep motivation going because you can't gain any weight back--there's nothing to wear!! lol

gonnadoitthistime · 06-15-2011, 02:05 PM

The video is so helping me. I don't label the videos but after a few decided to write date/weight on a card and hold it up. For me, part of the not feeling as fat thing also has to do with exercise, and lugging a little less of me around.
Onesmallbowl, love the pics, you look gorgeous in the last one and have really come a long way. I think it is an advantage to lose in chunks, stop, then start again. The body kind of gets setpoints.
Joline, I have been throwing a few things out here and there (also to combat my previous compulsion to collect and keep stuff). I have some sweaters packed away for the summer, that I can't WAIT to toss when I get them back out.
I swear, the images in my head of my videos are really waking me up. For so long how I really looked was not something I could face and there were so many rationalizations in my head (after all, a few years back I was a lot bigger etc).
Going to start another thread about other things I try to keep in mind to keep me motivated.