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Old 03-06-2009, 02:33 AM   #31
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Hijude: I have and still am grappling with the same emotions of feeling selfish, dishonest, resentful and fearful. With selfishness, I have become a lot stronger at setting boundaries in how much I'll give of myself. I have found people don't appreciate what you do for them anyway. They just start to take advantage of you and walk all over you because your "nice." I've also learned that doing things for others is a way of controlling them. I have to give up control, even in my eating. I just haven't figured out how to do it yet with my eating. With being dishonest, I've learned that being dishonest can be okay when I'm using it to protect my privacy. In work, family and friends, neighbors it seems like everybody wants to cross my boundaries. People tell me I'm mysterious. I just want my privacy and I have a right to privacy. As for resentful, I resent people making me feel bad about myself and I'm gradually getting people out of my life who try to make me feel bad about myself. It's been a very hard thing for me to do, but I find a lot of stress taken off me by saying good bye to quite a few people. I only socialize with people who make me feel good about myself. With being fearful, I was terrified being a single mother and still am, but my sons are grown now and I have to let them go and trust them to make it on their own. Good night everyone.
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Old 03-06-2009, 04:30 PM   #32
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Old 03-06-2009, 06:19 PM   #33
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Hi all! Another quick post tonight! Stay strong this weekend! You CAN do this!

Laurie
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Old 03-06-2009, 07:31 PM   #34
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Hey everybody!

hijude, Jada1, I'm an old 12-stepper myself, but not with regard to food. I had a different "drug of choice."

Yes, it's harder with food because you can't stop eating entirely. But, you can stop the out-of-control or impulsive eating, or the eating of trigger foods.

I'll be out of town tomorrow--business meeting 90 miles south. I'm taking my own food although there will be a lunch out with some clients. My partner may or may not be going with me--she's feeling kind of sick tonight.

Have a good weekend and rely on your higher power!

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Old 03-06-2009, 08:06 PM   #35
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Thanks for the encouragement all.
Jada I was the single mom too and it is a tough job no matter how you look at it. Mine are out on their own too. Trying to find my place in the world now.
Hey Jay enjoy your time away. Hope your partner makes it. It is more fun with company along.
Laurie have a great weekend always appreciate your support. We will get through this eventually. You are a great example. Keep doing what you do.

I am having surgery in June and of course the doctor told me to lose some weight by then. Not the thing to say.
Now I have a deadline!!! yikes. I still have time.
Have a good Friday night everyone.

Cheers Jude and thanks for being there. Some days it means more than others and this was one of them.......
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Old 03-07-2009, 09:20 AM   #36
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Jay - hope you had a good trip! And, I hope your partner is feeling better!

Jude You CAN lose a significant amount of weight by June! Slow and steady! Once choice at a time. You have all the tools in your arsenal - and only you can decide if you will use them. Yet, somehow I KNOW that you will do this!

Jada I know some of your feelings well! All I can say is that it IS a journey - and you have taken some remarkably intelligent steps in the right direction. Keep at it! Once choice at a time. I have found that success in one area of my life leads to another. Which is how I finally succeeded in my weight loss. I changed some other things first. Once they were accomplished, I was able to tackle weight loss.

"Nice" is a word that I hear often when others describe me. My Christian faith calls me to be a humble servant - however there is a line between servant and doormat. When it comes to my health and fitness, I had to move ME up the priority list. My servant mentality had to learn priorities, balance, and boundaries. It has been a journey, but I must say that I am happier, healthier, and far less stressed than I was before I made the change. Some folk weren't thrilled with me, but - as you have found - sometimes you need to leave unhealthy relationships behind you.

I hope you all have a balanced weekend planned with some fun included! Today' is MIL's birthday, so we are taking her out to lunch and then to "The Mousetrap" (Agatha Christie play) put on by our local thespians. It should be a fun afternoon
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Old 03-07-2009, 01:12 PM   #37
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Jay: Thanks for being specific about impulsive eating and trigger foods. I try to manage this by keeping a meal plan on my fridge.
Hijude: Good luck in losing by June. You can do it!!! I can totally relate to "trying to find your place in the world."
Countingdown: I hope you enjoyed the birthday party with your MIL. Seeing "The Mousetrap" sounds like so much fun.
I've stuck to my 1600 calories and my weight is going back down. I've slowed down my eating so my food lasts longer. I'm sitting here with a plate next to me with some food left over. That's a first. It drove me nuts when my husband would leave food on his plate. As the days pass, I find my emotions coming to the surface. I face them now instead of numbing them with food.
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Old 03-07-2009, 01:20 PM   #38
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CountingDown: Thanks for the support. It's nice to know someone else has succeeded, especially when you said one success leads to another. It doesn't happen fast enough. I thought I would have everything figured out by the time I was my age. I guess I'll keep growing and changing until I'm 90.
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Old 03-07-2009, 02:06 PM   #39
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Another quick
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Old 03-08-2009, 11:43 AM   #40
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My official weigh in was today. I'm finally below 230!!!! I weighed in at 229. What a beautiful number. Lost 8 pounds. I owe it to everybody on this board. Thanks. I will not celebrate with food.
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Old 03-08-2009, 11:53 AM   #41
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Jada You GO girl! A nice non-food reward is in order

Hi all - hope your Sunday is going well! We have a quiet day planned with church this morning, grocery shopping and then getting some things done around the house. We have a potluck at church tonight with our Lenten study Potlucks still scare me!
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Old 03-08-2009, 04:36 PM   #42
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JADA Hitting those new decades make everything sooooo worthwhile.

Okay, I won't bother spitting and hissing in my usual tirade about the joys of daylight savings time. Why would I want to branch out like that when I can still complain about the weather. It snowed most of the day and it's looking so fresh and pretty out there.
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Old 03-08-2009, 10:04 PM   #43
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Hey Jada!

Good going!

The trip went OK. My partner felt well enough to go along and got to see some friends. Food was going OK, but I let myself get too hungry a couple of times. That's a big problem for me. I didn't overeat during the traveling, but after we got back home I did end up over my calorie target for the day. But, it's just one day out of three weeks, and I'll probably get it evened out quickly. I've been on-plan today.

Went to the gym today, too! That was the other thing--I had thought I'd go for a walk or some such yesterday, but time got too tight for that.

So the time change makes me feel even more behind than I had been. The alarm went off sooooo early! And every time I look at the clock today it's a shock... So, meowee, did I get in the hissing and spitting for you?

See ya...

Jay
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Old 03-08-2009, 10:20 PM   #44
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Hi, may I join your group? I used to belong to 3FC but got busy with life and work and drifted away...now I feel like I would like to support that I used to get here...

Intro-I'm 66, retired from my desk job last year after getting certified as a personal trainer, and started doing training focusing on seniors...now do training at a number of retirement centers plus taking on private clients. espec those with problems with arthritis, parkinsons, ms, etc. I am also an artist and trying to get back into my art.

Even with all the exercise I do, I am about 20 lbs overweight, and with a family history of diabetes and heart problems, i need to drop that weight. I've started following a plan that I read about in a diet book by Beck; forget her first name, based on cognitive theory, where I use all kinds of written aids to help me build up my resistence "muscle". So far (1 week) it's working, but she also suggests finding a diet "buddy". I thought perhaps checking in here would be helpful.

Guess that's about it...
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Old 03-09-2009, 02:33 AM   #45
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Welcome LivingandThriving: I'm new too. I'm very happy I joined this thread.
I was very impressed that you made a career change to a personal trainer. Good for you!!
Jay: I'm glad your trip went well. I was looking forward to hearing how it went. It's tough to stay on a meal plan when you walk out your front door.
Meowee: The fresh snow sounds beautiful. It's been cold and windy here. It was so warm I had to turn on the air conditioner, and then yesterday I had to turn the heat back on.
Thanks everybody for the applause. I'm pretty happy with myself. Shocked, but happy.
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