I used this site before to be inspired but now I really think I need to join. I'm looking to become a better me and at the same time overcome my heartbreak.
My birthday is this Wednesday and 2 weeks ago my 5 year relationship ended. My boyfriend broke up with me and I was crushed, he gave me the line that he loves me but is not in-love with me.
Then a week later after the breakup he told me he was in in-love with a coworker of his; he found out because when he heard she was going out with someone else, he felt so broken and questioned why he was feeling so sad about it all. He also got home drunk another night after that and told me all about how wonderful she is, and when I started to open up about how sad I was, he clamped his hands on my shoulders and said, "Don't you get it?! I'm CRAZY for this girl!!"
Anyway... it doesn't look good for our relationship and I decided to trudge along with my heartbreak and try to get myself going somewhere else. Keep my mind off of it? have a goal? At least some light on the future...
It's bad enough that he still lives in the same apartment as me. I've told him he has to leave and if he's not out by November 1st, he has to pay half rent but STILL leave (he's been living with me 3-4 years rent free, responsibility free really... ) My coworkers and family have already told me that he's bad and don't get back with him if the opportunity strikes. The heart doesn't really listen to the mind does it? haha I know it's bad.. but I can't help but love him anyway. Through time, all the bad stuff like that I've forgiven and compromised.. I've done too much they say. They just want me to have someone who's willing to consider me and be much less selfish. It's really sad because I was looking forward to my birthday; it's the first birthday with him that he actually had a job.
Well I have to do something... something for myself I guess. I'm going to get to that goal of 135!!! I stayed between 179-185 since Christmas, but at least I've kept the weight off and didn't backpedal to even 200s! But now I can try to get serious.. and hopefully confidence.. and hopefully smiling again.
(worse yet, he still tries to be my friend and talk to me and when I don't talk to him he started prodding me with little remarks to try and get me mad, similar to "oh I see how it is" *sarcastic talk*... sigh, someone give me strength to get through this and kick him out)
yumeo Welcome, it is nice to meet you, I hope that you enjoy it here! This website has been a huge part of my success and I read old posts every single day. If you haven't already I would suggest looking at all of the success stories and pictures that come along with some of them, huge motivation to keep on going.
You have lost 46 lbs. already and that is AMAZING!!!! I am currently 183.6 and hope to get down to 140, but probably a little bit less. We are almost identical in that way!! There are a lot of threads in the "chicks up for a challenge" section that are fun to participate in. Sometimes this board is a little bit slow, but you can almost always find active conversations in that category.
I am so sorry to hear about your breakup. I wish I could say something that would take your pain away. I think it is awesome that you are choosing to focus on yourself to get your mind off of him!! I really believe that things like this happen for a reason and you will find someone who deserves you and treats you with love and respect. You may want to talk to your landlord about evicting him. He/she may tell you that you don't need to wait until Nov. 1st, that is very kind of you to give him that much time though. If he broke up with you and hasn't been paying rent then he needs to go, now, but I understand that it is much easier said than done.
I just wanted to give you a big and tell you that as time goes on it will get better. I think you have dodged a bullet, even though it was very painful.
If you are looking for a weight loss buddy to check in with I would love to do that with you!
Oh, girl. He needs to get gone. I had one of those user boyfriends who lived with me rent-free (and rented his own place out while doing so!) and in hindsight, I was such a patsy. Don't be a patsy. This guy is not only a user but he's unkind. To tell a girl he just broke up with that he's CRAZY about another girl is completely insensitive. Stand firm on making him move out. You deserve so much better.
On the weight loss side- WELCOME to 3FC!!! You can do this! We've got your back.
yumeo Welcome, it is nice to meet you, I hope that you enjoy it here! This website has been a huge part of my success and I read old posts every single day. If you haven't already I would suggest looking at all of the success stories and pictures that come along with some of them, huge motivation to keep on going.
You have lost 46 lbs. already and that is AMAZING!!!! I am currently 183.6 and hope to get down to 140, but probably a little bit less. We are almost identical in that way!! There are a lot of threads in the "chicks up for a challenge" section that are fun to participate in. Sometimes this board is a little bit slow, but you can almost always find active conversations in that category.
I am so sorry to hear about your breakup. I wish I could say something that would take your pain away. I think it is awesome that you are choosing to focus on yourself to get your mind off of him!! I really believe that things like this happen for a reason and you will find someone who deserves you and treats you with love and respect. You may want to talk to your landlord about evicting him. He/she may tell you that you don't need to wait until Nov. 1st, that is very kind of you to give him that much time though. If he broke up with you and hasn't been paying rent then he needs to go, now, but I understand that it is much easier said than done.
I just wanted to give you a big and tell you that as time goes on it will get better. I think you have dodged a bullet, even though it was very painful.
If you are looking for a weight loss buddy to check in with I would love to do that with you!
Thanks so much for your support and warm welcome!!! I'd love to be your weight loss buddy I can't wait to see how far we'll come by Christmas!
Quote:
Originally Posted by EagleRiverDee
Oh, girl. He needs to get gone. I had one of those user boyfriends who lived with me rent-free (and rented his own place out while doing so!) and in hindsight, I was such a patsy. Don't be a patsy. This guy is not only a user but he's unkind. To tell a girl he just broke up with that he's CRAZY about another girl is completely insensitive. Stand firm on making him move out. You deserve so much better.
On the weight loss side- WELCOME to 3FC!!! You can do this! We've got your back.
Thank you also for the warm welcome!! I know the feeling of relief may come although possibly bittersweet. Thank you for making me feel like I'm not alone in this!! <3
Yay for moving on! Yay for that boyfriend self-selecting to improve your life by removing himself from it. I had one like that. Great guy in many ways, but I can't tell you how much better my life became when he saw himself out of it.
You need to evict that man. And I don't mean in a whimsical sort of way like women talk about evicting their gestating babies. I mean - begin the legal process of removing him from your home. I don't know anything about your state laws, but he almost certainly has a legal right to be there until you initiate eviction proceedings, even if he never paid a dime of rent. Give him until November 1, if you are continuing to feel outrageously generous, but I would strongly urge you to start the legal process before the date he has to be out so that you don't have to endure this insensitive clod for any longer than necessary and you can focus on healing.
So glad you're here! Your weight loss progress is fantastic! Sometimes, a break-up provides a catalyst for hitting a lot of other goals. NOT minimizing the pain of losing a valued 5-year relationship. But I think after a (hopefully short) grieving period, your life is going to get much, much better.
yumeo How are you doing today? I actually worked out last night!!! Here is the link to the Christmas challenge \
Doing great! I worked out yesterday too. Did a run/walk (mostly walking cause I found myself out and about for 1.5 hours and stopped at the Apple Store to look at the new phones.
Forgive me for being lazy today though because it's my birthday!!
I'll definitely check out that thread!
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaurieDawn
Good morning!
Yay for moving on! Yay for that boyfriend self-selecting to improve your life by removing himself from it. I had one like that. Great guy in many ways, but I can't tell you how much better my life became when he saw himself out of it.
You need to evict that man. And I don't mean in a whimsical sort of way like women talk about evicting their gestating babies. I mean - begin the legal process of removing him from your home. I don't know anything about your state laws, but he almost certainly has a legal right to be there until you initiate eviction proceedings, even if he never paid a dime of rent. Give him until November 1, if you are continuing to feel outrageously generous, but I would strongly urge you to start the legal process before the date he has to be out so that you don't have to endure this insensitive clod for any longer than necessary and you can focus on healing.
So glad you're here! Your weight loss progress is fantastic! Sometimes, a break-up provides a catalyst for hitting a lot of other goals. NOT minimizing the pain of losing a valued 5-year relationship. But I think after a (hopefully short) grieving period, your life is going to get much, much better.
I'm not sure of the legal proceedings here either but I have heard that if he has been here and living for a period of time, he has a right to stay until he can find a place. Landlords can possibly kick him out but I'll look into that.
I definitely think these life events can be a catalyst; the key is not to be dependent on it, right? I'm trying to be careful Thanks so much for your support <3
Location: Home of the Pirates, Steelers and Penguins
Posts: 12,384
S/C/G: 217/179/142
Height: 5'2
Yumeo, since you are renting, I think a lot depends on whether or not his name is on the lease. If it is, it could end up being a big tangled mess. As long as the rent is being paid, the landlord doesn't care who is paying it. If not, I don't see why you can't just pack up his belongings and set them outside.
LaurieDawn may have the right of it. Years ago I was letting a man live with me and when the poop hit the fan I tried to throw him out. It was my own house - legally mine- and he had no legal right to the house. Except, when the cops were called because he would not leave, they informed me that I couldn't just boot him. He had the same rights as a tenant, despite there being no rent agreement or anything like that. I had to formally evict him, and give him 30 days notice.
Thank you!! I went out to a nice restaurant, ate mostly fish (appetizers to share), and when the entree came out I ate half and left the other half for tonight! It's not the healthiest food, but definitely organic because of the quality restaurant and they tell you where they source their ingredients.
I gained a little weight but that's normal due to the larger intake of food. I'm going to get back on track again tomorrow! Exercising!
Yumeo, since you are renting, I think a lot depends on whether or not his name is on the lease. If it is, it could end up being a big tangled mess. As long as the rent is being paid, the landlord doesn't care who is paying it. If not, I don't see why you can't just pack up his belongings and set them outside.
By the way, I really love your penguin!
His name isn't on the lease, technically mine isn't either but I've been living there for 10 years when it got transferred to a new landlord (the landlady passed away from a stroke so her son took over a year ago).
Thanks for loving the penguin! It's my fav and he's a chubby cute lol. When I'm more confident I'll post pictures. And if I ever hit my goal; I'm definitely going to put it in the GOAL section hopefully to inspire more people like everyone who succeeded inspired me!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by EagleRiverDee
LaurieDawn may have the right of it. Years ago I was letting a man live with me and when the poop hit the fan I tried to throw him out. It was my own house - legally mine- and he had no legal right to the house. Except, when the cops were called because he would not leave, they informed me that I couldn't just boot him. He had the same rights as a tenant, despite there being no rent agreement or anything like that. I had to formally evict him, and give him 30 days notice.
This might be what I have to do if push comes to shove. He is contemplating moving out and back to his parent's place but it's a long trip to another state. But as my sister has constantly told me; not my problem, he just needs to get out.
yumeo Great job on eating half and taking the other half home!!! The gain on the scale was probably water retention, if you drink extra water it should be gone in no time!!
I have 3 days of my workout video under my belt so am pretty excited about that! Good job on getting back to working out! What are you doing for your workouts? I am doing the 30 Day Shred video, level 1. I was 181.6 this morning and would be ecstatic if I can be out of the 180's mid next week, but I know that my TOM is coming so that might push it back!
I hope that you have a fantastic weekend! I will be checking in throughout, but it gets pretty quiet here during the weekend!
New Here and in Hoping for a Better Me
and tell you that as time goes on it will get better. I think you have dodged a bullet, even though it was very painful.
Did you do anything fun today?!
