New Girl
Hello all, I'm new here. I'm not great at intros, but I wanted to take the first steps towards doing finally doing this right, and this is my first step! I want to try to be enthusiastic, but I want to be honest every step of the way because I think lying to myself is what got me in such bad shape in the first place.
I don't have a lengthy story or even an unusual one. I've been heavy since I was a kid, lost a significant amount of weight in high school, and kept it off for six years. After I started gaining weight in my long term relationship, my then boyfriend broke up with me -after months of cruel mocking both in public and in private- stating that his attraction had waned and he didn't want to "force it". "It" meaning sexual intimacy and attraction. That was a bummer, and he was definitely a superficial jerk without whom the entire world might be a better place.
What I've learned, though, is that there are a lot of people in the world who share his views about larger people. And many of them don't hesitate to share those views - even with total strangers.
So I, like maybe a few of you maybe, have come here after a series of humiliating encounters, with the resolve to finally rid myself of the weight that has destroyed my self-esteem for far too long.
I know I deserve love regardless, and I have a new man who sees me for everything that I am outside of my weight problem. What I want for us is a chance to go through life reflecting the love we share for ourselves and each other and expressing that love through self-care. I don't just want to look better for him, I want to finally feel good about myself. I want to walk up a flight of stairs and not get winded. I want to take care of this body and repair some of the damage I've done to it by stuffing it full of junk food and sodas. I want to feel better physically and be a more active participant in my own life, and I want to do some of the things I haven't done since putting on weight - like go swimming or dancing or hiking without having to search my wardrobe for outfits that cover my entire body. I want to FEEL better. I want to take better care of myself.
So that's why I'm here, and hello to any and all of you who have gone through this or something similar. I'm here for you all and I hope you'll be here for me, too.
Thanks,
xo
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