[mommamichelle]

I guess I need some help. I am 200 lbs overwight, I don't consider myself a huge eater, but I make all sorts of bad food decisions. I am actually suffering from two problems, which in the end are completely affecting my life a young (is 33 still young?) mother with young children (4 and 8) and my marriage. First, I have a complete lack of energy, I feel for the most part I could sleep all day, everyday. I know some may say this is depression, but it doesn't help that I am toting around an extra 200 pounds. I feel like I could crash and burn at 11:00 am, does anyone have any suggestions to get over this hump. I have this grim reality that the only memory my children have of me is sleeping, compounded by the fact that I work 30 hours a week on third shift in a mentally demanding job, so sometimes day sleep is a neccesary hump I must face.
Second, my middle back hurts all the time. I am sure my stomach is pulling my back out of whack and sleeping for hours on a non-supportive sofa is not helping. Sometimes, I just want sometime to take a rolling pin to my back and roll it down my spine.
I know my husband loves me, but I don't think I am a very good wife, my house is a mess, I am tired, my joints hurt. Which brings me to this forum, I have longed considered WLS, thought about it and thought about it. I am in good health (or as good as someone could be who is 200 pounds overwight) I don't have an extreme desire to be slender, but rather go to bed at 10:00, goof around with my husband for an hour, sleep to 7:00, mayde sneak in a twenty minute nap, clean my home, go to work, play with my kids, and have my back not hurt. Can someone help me?

Michelle

[jiffypop]

well good morning michelle!!!!! it's nice to meet you...

and yes, there is help. my first suggestion is to talk to your doc about the possibility of sleep apnea. that'll exhaust anyone. but i'm also wondering why someone who works 3rd shift thinks she DOESN'T need to sleep during the day???? ya gotta get your 8 hours, babe, preferably at one time.

napping on the sofa? why not on the bed?????? you deserve it. and that might be the first, and biggest, hump. YOU DESERVE BETTER. i could say it louder, but it's too early in the morning to shout.

as for the WLS, it sounds as if you're a good candidate. there are two starting points: your doctor and your insurance company, and start with the insurance company and take it to the doc. ya gotta have your pirmary care on board with this. you also need to have a documented history of weight loss attempts. gym memberships, WW, jenny craig, doc diet, whatever...

sooooo, hang out with us... it's one step at a time, but as the old chinese proverb says, every great journey starts out with a single step. please don't look at the end, look at TODAY and see what you can do...

we're with ya!

[Neurotica]

Hi Michelle!

You can see from my ticker where I started on this journey. I felt the same exact way you do with the lethargy and aching bones/muscles. I was exhausted all the time and felt I was a horrible wife. There were many factors that contributed to me feeling that way, but my weight was in the top 3. I have a long long long way to go. Losing 200lbs would still make me overweight, but happier. I am just taking things one day at a time right now. I have thought about WLS more times than I can count. My therapist is ready to write my letter of recommendation and the thing that has put a halt on it is that I won't be able to have children for a minimum of 1 year post surgery and I am 40 as it is. I have dealt with fertility issues for more than 2 years now and have lost two babies. I probably gained 30lbs just from stress eating while trying to conceive. If I weren't TTC, I probably would have already set the ball in motion to have surgery. I have a family member getting ready to have GB and she is not even almost mentally prepared to change her lifestyle. She thinks that it will be a piece of cake (pardon the pun), but I think she has no intention of trying to modify her relationship to food. Let's just say her vision is short sighted. I pray she doesn't get the surgery only to gain her weight back because she didn't make other necessary changes. Oddly enough, she weighs quite a bit less than I did when I started.

At any rate, I just wanted to let you know you are not alone in how you feel. I post primarily in the 300lb+ support group section since I have not had GB. Until you decide what you want to do as far as surgery goes, please feel free to pop in that forum if you just want to have a little more support while you make up your mind. Also, please feel free to PM me if you would like to!

[janet_921]

Hi Michelle..
Welcome aboard.
I had gastric bypass last May 2004 and I couldnt be happier. At the time I weighted 248 and everything in my body hurt, plus hi blood pressure, and asthma. I was not a good wife..but thats another story..lol...Im now down to 180 and its like a new life..I didnt feel this good at 20. But, you do gotta get with your doc..you gotta do the steps...for me it seemed to be easier then some..I only had to see a psychologist to determine that I had the right reasons and attitude, a dietition, and had to show how I tried to lose weight before to no avail. The longest for me was waiting to see if my insurance would approve the surgery. At the time I had Health America and truly wasnt any problem...BTW...Im 63 yrs old, and 5'3" and my age had nothing to do with it....So think about it...talk with your doc..and go from there...
Good Luck!!
Janet

[Chickadee]

Hi Michelle,

By all means, go talk to your doctor. Hopefully you can talk to someone who's educated about WLS, or is willing to consider talking to you about it with an open mind. I was really surprised when the first doctor I talked to about it was so supportive. I was sure I'd have to convince them that it was a good idea and was ready for a battle.

My next advice comes from having been in your shoes. It sounds to me like you need to take better care of yourself. Sweetie, if you're working 30 hours a week at night and taking care of two little kids during the day, of course you need sleep! It sounds like you're being pretty hard on yourself because of the extra weight. I know I was extra hard on myself pre-surgery because I felt like I didn't deserve any better. Afterall, if I couldn't respect myself, how could anyone else. My role was to always take care of everybody else and I always came last.

When I decided to have surgery, one of the best things I did for myself was to consciously do something just for me every single day. It didn't have to be big, it just had to happen. I actually declared 2004 "The Year of the Chickadee" and decided to really, really take care of myself for once. I practiced saying no to things I didn't want to do and started working on doing things for myself instead of always putting everything else first. That doesn't mean that I abandoned my family or anything, just that I also considered my own needs in addition to theirs. Once I started doing that, I was able to take the time to research surgery, make the necessary appointments, and ultimately have my band placed. That attitude also helped me get into regular exercise, because I no longer felt like I should be doing whatever it was that was more important instead. It has also helped me make better food choices. Sometimes (not always though ) I'll stare down a Twinkie and think that an apple really would be more satisfying, because it comes down to taking care of myself.

So, I guess all this rambling is suggesting that you take care of yourself - starting now. WLS is a wonderful, wonderful tool that you sound deserving of, but you've got to be willing to make changes to make it work. You're worth it!

Chickadee

[L144S]

I am just poppin in to say you ladies are the best! You are kind and understanding in a way I can't put into words. I wish you luck michelle, you deserve to be the best and taking care of you will help you be a better mom and wife. Listen to these ladies, they have been through **** and back. i would follow them into the jungle because I know they would help me find my way out...

-L

[Indiacatz]

Michelle, I read these posts often and I know these ladies have the courage to change their lives. I hope you consider all the options available to you. Join a support group if that is possible.. I belong to Tops and it has saved my life.. We discuss all the issues including WLS, and have members that went that route... I have a 100 lb to lose, I wish you a lot of luck in your weight loss journey..... I am not going to have surgery and I did consider it.. I use the South Beach diet, go to Tops, and exercise when I can.... I work full time, babysit my grandkids 5 days a w eek, and cook for a family of 5... whew.. I know life can be hecktic, hang in there Michelle.. btw, my daugther is 33 too India

[kfs151]

I second Jiffypop - get checked for sleep apnea. I was tired all the time, although I would go to bed early and nap during the day I was still exhausted. After I got diagnosed with apnea and started sleeping with a CPAP machine, I was actually rested in the morning!! Gives you back your energy so you can deal with other stuff.

Good Luck!