[sociallyanxious]

I have about 80lbs to lose and I don't know where to start. I like bodybuilding. But part of me is getting very frustrated by all of the information I am getting. Some say low-fat is the way to go. Others say low-carb. Then some say don't do low calories because you will slow your metabolism. I am very desperate to lose weight. Especially now that my husband who assured me he loves me very much told me he is no longer attracted to me. Part of me wants this weight to go away extremely fast. One of the issues I have that has slowed me down from going to the gym consistantly is my social anxiety. I get very tense when the gym is full. I can't go before noon when there is alot less people because my husband is taking classes around that hour and I have to watch my son and the days he can only add up to 3 days. I am feeling extremely down and overwhelmed by all this. I really want to lose weight because I do think this is what made my social anxiety worst compared to 5 years ago before I gained all thiis weight. Has anyone lost this amount of weight and if so what exactly did you do?

[MrsDawsondn]

hello there socially first off let me offer a HUG to you and let you know that you CAN do this. Make sure the reasons that you want to lose 80 lbs are valid and healthy and not just about pleasing anyone else. There are many things that you can do yes you want the weight to come off fast but if you didn't put it on fast it's not going to majically disappear. Rome wasn't built in a day ya know what I mean? I can't qualify as one that has lost 80 lbs but so far I'm getting closer to that mark so hopefully my advice can help some. First make simple healthy eating exchanges bit by bit....don't jump into a fad diet way of eating research on different programs if you'd like to try one such as Body For Life, South Beach Diet, Weight Watchers, Atkins, The Zone, OR if you don't feel you need to eat by anyone's guidelines then try tracking your calorie intake for one day and ask either a nutritionist about what modifications you can make or even ask some of the ladies here they are great with helping you. Then start exercising and find what works for you. Drink lots of water. I drink half of my body weight in ounces daily believe me you will see a tremendous difference in your hair, skin, and you will lose alot of water weight while drinking water. It's an excellent source to have . I know the ladies here will give you some more expert advice on this but I thought I may be able to chime in and give a few tips. REmember this is for YOU and no one else. Live strong and stay healthy!

[srmb60]

Well, I'm not one of the experts ... I haven't lost 80 pounds ... but I do have some struggles with crowds, strangers and depression.
I workout at home. I have two lovely friends who want me to go to aerobics class with them. I just can't make myself do it.
Over the years I've collected some equipment ... the most important of which is my bike and my running shoes.
Being healthier and more fit will do wonders for that down feeling.
Post lots and hang here at 3fc. We'll support and encourage you

[teapotdynamo]

Oh, I can so relate to where you are right now, sa, because I was there (but at a higher weight) about a year and a half ago (progress pics here). To tell the truth, I was miserable: embarrassed to go out, depressed most of the time, easily winded, and feeling extremely unattractive to my husband.

The good news is that it *is* possible to lose the weight. While I'm not at my goal yet, I just passed the 100-pound mark, and I can honestly say I've never felt better in my life. I have so much energy, I LIKE trying on clothes and taking care of myself, I LOVE working out in the gym, and I am sooo much less depressed (still have some work to do, but I'm getting there!). My husband is much more responsive to me, although I think this is really because I'm more confident and frankly, much saucier now.

My point of this is just to say that you that you can ABSOLUTELY do this. If I can, seriously -- anyone can. I only wish now that I could have harnessed all the energy I spent crying, skipping random meals, and wishing and hoping to lose weight and instead used it constructively to work out and eat healthily. Then I would have avoided wasting much of my 20s obese. My advice to you is to start today to avoid making that same mistake.

It will not be a quick process. It will not be easy. Some days I think that I am just sick to death of tracking my food daily, working out every single day, and otherwise thinking about losing weight all the time. It's horribly inconvenient at times. But I would never, ever trade how happy I am now for the convenience of being obese. AND, I look back now on that year and a half and it seems like absolutely no time at all.

Here's where I'd start if I were you. First, start logging your food. It doesn't matter if you log it in a journal, Fit Day, Diet Power, or anywhere else. Just make sure you're getting an accurate picture of what you're taking in on a daily basis. At this point, I wouldn't even worry about a "plan." I've lost the 100 pounds by not following any commercial plan. I've just logged my calories everyday (trying to stick between 1300-1600), stuck to healthy, "clean" food (3FC has lots of resources on what that means), and exercised at least 6 days a week.

I would start moving, a little bit every day, until you can work up to more. I'm thrilled that you have a gym membership, even if you are uncomfortable there. I tend to get a little anxious socially as well (though it used to be MUCH worse), and I actually threw up the day of my "orientation" session with the trainer. But once you start going regularly, I bet it will just become a habit. I find that I tend to "get my gym face on" where I am able to tune out much of what's going on around me. Headphones definitely help. Actually, if your gym is like mine, the period after lunchtime and before 3 is a *great* time to go, because there's almost no one there.

Anyway, I know I'm going on and on. Something in your message just really struck a chord with me, because it *sounds so much* like where I was last May. Please feel free to PM me if you want more advice. 3FC is a great place to learn how to lose weight and keep it off. We're glad you're here!

[4rabbit]

Hi,

I have nothing to share on the weightloss, but I can relate to not going to the gym. I do all my workouts in and around the home, you DON't NEED a gym to work out. It is that simple.

I started by getting an inexpensive heart rate monitor and a stationary bike. I put the bike in my bedroom, and hopped on every morning. Then over time I added weights, a rowing machine, more weights, a treadmill and running shoes. Now I lift 2 times per week, with the scemes from body for life and of sumptuous.com. The latter is really great & has helpfull tips, even on weightlifting with household items. For cardio I lately go for a run outside, but before that I just jogged or walked in place on a gym mat.

The point I want to make is that if you want to excercise you don't have to go out, to a gym. You can do it in the house and don't have to worry about who is minding the child. The main point here is just to do it. You can also distribute it over more sessions per day, as long as you put in 30 - 60 minutes fairly strenuous excercise (you should get sweaty) total you should do OK. Maybe walk around the block for 30 minutes and take your son with you! Or pop in a work out video!

Good luck !

rabbit

[txaopi]

I've lost 75 lbs in 8 months, without exercise! It can be done! I just started lifting weights to help tone. I kept telling myself when I lose 25 lbs I'll start, nope...50 lbs...nope...I was losing without exercising, so I couldn't justify sweating! Finally at 75 lbs, I realized, I don't need to exercise to LOSE, I need to exercise to TONE. That is my motivation now. I'm a picky eater and without carbs I'd die. You just have to figure out what works for you. There are lots of healthy alternatives to things we love. If you don't deprive yourself of what you love, you'll be more likely to stick with it!

[txaopi]

I'm doing Weight Watchers online by the way!

[Hey Jude]

Hi SA,

IMHO, the order of priority for weight loss are:

* Food intake (you can exercise till the cows come home, but if you are eating too much, you won't lose. As others have said, Weight Watchers and Fit Day - which is free, will work fine)
* Aerobic exercise (calorie burning activity such as elliptical, bike, running, even walking)
* Weight lifting - or other resistance muscle building. (Muscles burn calories even in their inactive state, plus it feels good to be strong, not to mention that muscles are sexy.

All of these of these things are going to boost your spirits. As soon as I started watching my food, walking and recently lifting weights, I started to feel empowered. My goodness! You are going to feel awesome!

[EofAZ]

I would like to add not setting a goal of 80 lbs, set a goal of 10 lbs. You can achieve a 10 lb loss pretty quickly and the sense of accomplishment will go a long way in motivating you to lose the next 10 lbs. One more thing, don't set a time associated with the 10 lbs loss. i.e. Don't say I'm going to loose 10 lbs in 1 month, just strive to loose 10 lbs and if it takes 5 weeks then fine, it will still be gone, if it takes 3 weeks even better.

This is very doable and this website has a wealth of information to help you.

Good Luck,

[RobertW]

I initialy went from 385# to 355# without dieting, just by firing up my metabolism through weightlifting. The next 50#, however, have come off via dieting (calorie counting) and I am trying to lift weights to hang onto as much muscle as possible.

I agree with the poster's above that the loss is mainly about dieting. I would also add a cautionary note that what ever muscle you are not making use of during the weightloss will go away, so a certain amount of bodybuilding would be a good idea even if you don't want "big" muscles.

[flipafart]

I don't know if this will help but I started out walking 20 minutes a day. hey my bod had to get use to exercise then I started writing down everything I ate and before long I was in the gym. a great book is sly moves by slyvester stallone but first before I did any thing else I would make a commitment to regular exercise. you can do this
never give up on you

[Jennifer 3FC]

If you want to weight train, I'd suggest reading Body For Life for Women and follow the eating plan in that book. It's very doable, and it will tell you just what you need to do for an exercise plan. I have been where you are right now, and I know the desperation of just wanting to be told what to do to get it off NOW.

You'll find your way with this program. My anxiety is almost completely under control now. I think a lot of it was fueled with my obesity and low self esteem. Good luck to you, and please ask for help if you need it.