Hey all - I think my family figures I've become addicted to my PC I've been online so much the last couple days...
How many times can one person start over? Had a horrid w/e. My MIL was driving me nuts. My DH parents came to stay for the long w/e. We are usually ok, but not this time. Ate anything that was in my line of vision - emotional eating at its finest. I am typing on the verge of tears - seems so inconsequential to be upset about weight with everything else going on - hurricaines and others with such trauma in their lives (just read Tammy's thread ) But, I also know that my health is really important, which is why I WILL NOT give us this time.
Beverly, if you're reading this, I was blown away when I saw you'd lost 190 lbs!!!!!!! Way to go. How did you do it? I think aside from the emotional eating (which is huge) I struggle with feeding my family (3 little ones) and a hubby with a physically demanding job (he could eat all day and still just be strong & solid) .Anybody have any tips for staying on track? Time is at a premium so cooking 2 meals isn't an option. Some days I can barely cook supper (another culprit I'm sure) Good news though - I walked about 4 miles yesterday with the baby in her stroller to get away from my MIL. a silver lining in every cloud! Have a great day
You can keep starting over until you don't have too anymore. There is nothing wrong with starting over. We all had to startover to get where we are now.
Now as far as tips. Keep fruits around to munch on so your not as hungry at meal time. So even if the meal is something higher in calories your not eating as much of it. Also you can take a day and cook meals in advance so you can just take them out of the freezer and have a good healthy meal ready. The key to success is planing. It takes time and planing but your health is well worth it.
My family is the same as yours - three young children and a husband who doesn't have any weight issues. I don't cook seperate meals (except on those occasional "every man for himself" nights). Early on I knew that I would have to shake up my usual thinking in terms of losing weight. It was hard but I had to face my harshest reality - I often used my family as an excuse for my failings. The fact of the matter was that I was the one who was overweight and it really wasn't fair to ask them to give up their favorite things just because I couldn't control myself around a bag of Chips Ahoy. So, I altered our favorite family recipes and tweaked the way I cooked them and then forced myself to learn portion control. On plenty of occasions I had to talk myself down when I WANTED more than I NEEDED. There are plenty of times that I've watched DH slurp down a pound of spaghetti and tons of meatballs and found myself thinking, "THAT isn't FAIR - I DESERVE to be able to eat like THAT." But the truth was that it didn't matter whether or not it is fair. I can't eat like that and lose or maintain my weight so I had to change my thinking in order to succeed. One thing that really helped in the beginning was to only make exactly how much we would eat. Until I felt more in control I made certain that there weren't going to be any leftovers that I could give in to. Now, if I make extra it is for planned leftovers (to be frozen or used for the next day's lunch, etc.). Howie is right - planning is key.
I always thought emotional eating was a big problem for me too. I realize now that I was just looking for an excuse to justify eating whatever and whenever I wanted. I didn't just overeat when I was stressed or sad or angry. I overate period. I'm not implying that you are making an excuse. I know that emotional eating is a REAL issue for LOTS of people but in hindsight I realize that wasn't the case for me.
The sad truth is that I can look back at every other attempt I've made to lose weight and recognize the long list of excuses I made for myself. I wanted to be trim and healthy but I didn't want to do what was required to get there. But, I didn't want it to be my FAULT if I didn't get there either. So, if I gave in to a cookie it was because the kids were screaming and I needed a break. If I ate too much at dinner it was because my family sabotaged my efforts by not changing their eating habits. If I drove through and got a biggie sized combo it was because I was too busy to plan in advance (incidently, I realize now that it takes less time to throw together a healthy meal than it does to wait in line at the drive thru at noon!).
None of this may ring true for you. But, we all have SOMETHING that has derailed us in the past and, from what I've read all over 3FC it is very rarely the things on the surface that we claim them to be. My "tip" is to give a little thought to your past weight loss attempts. Identify any recurring themes and address them. Be realistic, though. While there are many mental and emotional roadblocks to ANY achievment we have to accept that sometimes we want to go off our plans for no good reason. Those times have proven to be my most difficult because it all boils down to ME making the right choices whether I want to or not.
Honestly, I think you are already on the right track. Just picking ourselves up and dusting off when our choices have been less than spectacular is an enormous feat. Beating ourselves up over it never helps. Hopping right back on plan and moving on almost always does.
I really loved what jawsmom had to say, there is approximately a ton of truth and insight there. And, Howie's right, you can start over as many times as you need to. I know that in my life I've "started over" more times than I can count.
However, let me challenge you to think about this another way. As everyone will tell you, the key to success is an overall lifestyle change, not "a diet." Diets have starting points and end points. You are on a diet until you "cheat," or "blow it", then you "start over." This is part of that all-or-nothing, perfectionistic thinking that so many of us fall victim to. We are either ON the diet or OFF the diet, and there's little or no middle ground. When we are on the diet, we are perfect and virtuous and strong. When we are off the diet, we are miserable worthless failures. When we are OFF the diet, any excuse to eat -- or NO excuse to eat -- sends us to the kitchen.
If you've really embraced the long-term lifestyle view, though, you start to see a continuum rather than a series of starts and stops. The fewer on the diet / off the diet conversations you have with yourself, the easier it is to stop a binge, to resist the very next treat, to pick up with your healthy habits at the next meal. When I really got in my gut that this was for life, I started seeing that one slip didn't matter THAT much in the great scheme of things. That removed a lot of guilt, and simultaneously removed a lot of the "oh what's the use, I might as well eat what I want today and start over tomorrow" thoughts. The other thing it did was help me come to terms with my personal triggers, to devise STRATEGIES to overcome external eating cues, rather than trying to just gut my way through them with blunt force. Those external eating cues are going to always exist, but if I can reduce their occurance and have a plan in place to deal with them when they do crop up, I'm set for not only losing weight but keeping it off.
Everyone has made some great comments, and here's my two cents worth. I was a huge emotional eater, but over the past 8 months, I haven't done it. I wrote a list of strategies when I first started this. I wrote down all the things that made me want to eat, and then devised a list of strategies to overcome each one. It's really hard breaking that connection in your brain that makes you respond to food whenever life gets tough, but you can do it, I am living proof!!!!
That's not to say I haven't had bad days, or weekends, or sometimes weeks. And as Howie says, you can start over as often as you need to. Everyday is a fresh page. Take it one day, one meal, one moment at a time. Don't borrow trouble, each day has enough trouble of its own.
Thanks everybody. You all make really good sense. Howie, wow - I'm so impressed with your loss!!! I really like this forum b/c everyone knows what it is like to face down 100+ pounds. I have been trying SB and I think it's the 2 phase idea that has a a bit of the on/off mentality though they encourage you to move between as you need to. If you're not familiar, the first phase is very low carb (no pasta, rice, fruit, etc) until you are over the "addiction" then you gradually phase in good carbs. I did P1 for 2 weeks in July and felt great. Then I had trouble doing the phase in thing. Generally speaking I am trying really hard to not let a bad decision (or 3) blow all my efforts. It's tough as I'm sure you all know. When I read Jawsmom's post I could feel some "truth" rattling around inside me. Thanks - I'll have to dig a little and haul it out. I read Dr Phil's book in the new year. Maybe it's time to dust it off. He too suggests to develop strategies for when you want to overeat in response to situations. You've all helped. Back to work tomorrow for a couple days then Im on vacation to help my 5&6 yo get into the swing of things at school. Make tomorrow a great day everyone!
Wow, great tips and comments everybody! So much of what I was thinking has already been said. But let me reiterate the lifestyle concept. This is a way of life that must be incorporated regardless of the obstacles that you're going to face. Because, realistically, we're all going to be thrown curve balls now and then, and we've got to learn go with the flow while living the healthiest life possible. Remember, you can only do the best with what you have. So if that means having to eat some not so great for you food with the rest of the fam... well, that's life. But you can choose to practice portion control and add a big 'ol honking salad along with it, can't you? It really is all about choices. And while they may not always be convenient or fun, the choice is still yours.
BTW, thanks WIP! And you know what? I did it by sometimes having to eat some not so great for you food with the rest of the fam, portion control, big 'ol honking salads, and sometimes having to make some pretty sucky choices. We can all do it WIP, we just have to find what works best for us.
However, let me challenge you to think about this another way. As everyone will tell you, the key to success is an overall lifestyle change, not "a diet." Diets have starting points and end points. You are on a diet until you "cheat," or "blow it", then you "start over." This is part of that all-or-nothing, perfectionistic thinking that so many of us fall victim to. We are either ON the diet or OFF the diet, and there's little or no middle ground. When we are on the diet, we are perfect and virtuous and strong. When we are off the diet, we are miserable worthless failures. When we are OFF the diet, any excuse to eat -- or NO excuse to eat -- sends us to the kitchen.
If you've really embraced the long-term lifestyle view, though, you start to see a continuum rather than a series of starts and stops.
Well said. The very concept of "starting over" can have so many negative connotations in regards to living a healthy life. It implies that, at some point, we will stop living this healthy life.
Suggestions anyone?
) But, I also know that my health is really important, which is why I WILL NOT give us this time. 
Way to go. How did you do it? I think aside from the emotional eating (which is huge) I struggle with feeding my family (3 little ones) and a hubby with a physically demanding job (he could eat all day and still just be strong & solid) .Anybody have any tips for staying on track? Time is at a premium so cooking 2 meals isn't an option. Some days I can barely cook supper (another culprit I'm sure) Good news though - I walked about 4 miles yesterday with the baby in her stroller to get away from my MIL. 
a silver lining in every cloud! Have a great day
