[LuckyLadyBug]

What we really want in a weight loss support group, boils down to one concept; we are looking for a sanctuary.

Sanctuary means different things to different people. Sanctuary is a place of peace, rest, safety, and rejuvenation. It keeps our spirit and our sanity intact.

Many of us who have a long journey down the weight loss path find ourselves in need of a break. Sometimes our bodies crave it, and sometimes the choice isn't ours, but circumstances forces it upon us. Other times, we need the clamoring throng to cheer us along our way as we breeze past milestones and overcome obstacles.

Sanctuary can be all that as well. It is what you need and when you need it. Sanctuary can be found in good friends who aren’t afraid of your truths and in an open, honest atmosphere.

Sanctuary isn’t judgmental, neither does it discriminate or ask to be censured. It is open to anyone with a desire to share, and especially those in need of and willing to offer support

[LuckyLadyBug]

Goodmorning. It is terribly windy here and I had to turn my furnace up!!

Some parts fo the state got S N O W! I don't even know if it will pay to plant anything this year. It will barely have time to grow.

How are you? I can really tell when I am away from you all I immediately backslide on my eating.

Brrr, I need coffee. I have to study all day but hope to investigate South Beach today too.

[lucky]

Well, guys, I took a big step this morning. I asked Greg to take pictures of me from the front, side, and back. I don't know why but I felt like such a goob getting him THAT involved. But, I haven't been this weight since before the kids were born so I know when I look at my older pictures they aren't an accurate reflection of how my body looks now. I feel like I'm at the point where exercise, specifically weights, is going to have a bigger impact on reaching my goal than diet. But, since I don't see myself objectively in the mirror, I don't really know where need to focus. I just hope the pictures aren't WORSE than the image I have in my head. I suppose even if they are it will be better that I know what my goals need to be from here on out.

Now, for the good news. Ladies, I have BONES! Oh, sure, most of them are still covered in jello but they are under there and some are even starting to stick out a bit. My shoulders and collar bones are pretty definate and if I stand or lay just right even my hip bones peak out. Okay, okay. Most of this is because I've lost enough weight that the remaining fat is starting to hang and so is no longer DIRECTLY over these bones. But, you know what? I don't give a crap! I swear, I look like that old, saggy lady from the Shoebox greeting cards. Sadly, though, that is still an improvement over the 214 pound me. LOL!

So, I am off to the gym to do my part in fixing all this sagging fat. Catch you all later!

Tricia

[LuckyLadyBug]

Dear Bones, Oh, I mean Tricia.

I can't wait to see my bones. You are one brave girl having those pics taken. I have never been good with having my picture taken, even when I was small. Pictures of myself usually seem to disappoint me. I guess I just dont' like reality.

I need to get to bed. Studying is getting 'woozy'. Just a bunch of facts roaming around in my head and not making sense any more.

I will just get back at it tomorrow.

I am so happy for your progress Tricia. You still keep me optimistic.

[lucky]

Gloria? Are you okay out there?

I hope everything is alright. You usually post so regularly that I thought we should check on you.

Looking forward to having you back!

Tricia

[LuckyLadyBug]

Tricia, maybe old blue and her got into trouble and she is in the slammer!!!!!

Sure hope nothing happened to Sky.

[5 dogs]

I'm still here. Do you ever have something happen to you that you just don't know how to handle it? Well i guess i am in one of those things now and it keeps playing over and over and over in my mind. Here's the deal. When Carl and i were on vacation a couple of weeks ago, i started painting one of the bedrooms. I wish you could see it, moss green walls and I'm going to hang white curtains and one of my hand made quilts. Its going to be beautiful. But that's not my problem. After painting all day, the pain in my neck and arms came back. I am terrified that I'm going to go through the same thing again that i went through after my accident. I haven't told Carl yet, but i think I'm going to have to go back to the doctor. I've also been thinking about money. I wish i could go back to work, but the way i am now, there is just no way i can do that. Do any of you know about social security disability? Then there is the blood sucking insurance people that still haven't paid my medical bills from last year and if the doctor finds another herniated disc in my neck, I AN NOT HAVING ANY MORE OPERATIONS. I know i am rambling but these are the things that have been popping in and out of my head all week. Poor Carl, am i going to be a burden on him the rest of my life? I can feel the depression starting and i don't know how to stop the roller coaster ride that I'm on. Before, i could get on old blue and ride or go to the Y and swim. Now my attitude is "I don't give a rats *** about anything. I know that's the depression talking and in the morning i hope to have a new out look on things. Its late and i need to get some sleep.
Good night.
See you in the morning.
Gloria

[lucky]

Oh, Gloria, I am so sorry you are feeling the way that you are. My advice is to get to the doctor ASAP! Don't worry about the money (easier said than done, I know). The important thing is that you see your doctor and either get the treatment you need or the reassurance that everything will be okay if you just take it easy for a while. And tell Carl. He loves you and will WANT to help.

As for the concern that you will be a burden to him for the rest of your life I say, "Don't be silly." Let me ask you this. If Carl were to have a stroke or a terrible accident tomorrow that left him paralyzed and unable to care for himself from here on out would YOU feel burdened? Probably not. You might need support from friends and family, you might feel the need to take a break from the work of caring for him now and then but I doubt you would feel burdened. If anything, I bet you would feel honored to care for the person that has loved you so dearly for so long. Believe me, after hearing you tell of your relationship with Carl that is exactly how he would see it.

I can't help with the anxiety you feel about money. But do try and keep it all in perspective. You are fed, you are clothed, and you own two homes. You said you got a great deal on the house in Georgia - I bet you moved in with instant equity. So, financially, what is the WORST that can happen? Maybe you sell on of your homes to increase your cash flow. You may not have the retirement that you've dreamed of and deserve, but you won't be hungry or homeless either. Plus, you've done an incredible amount of sprucing up of your Florida home. So, maybe that one goes on the market sooner than you had planned. It isn't ideal, but Carl only has a couple of years before he retires and you could rent an affordable apartment until then.

The important thing is to remember that everything IS going to be okay. And when you see your doctor (like I KNOW you are going to) ask him about treatments for depression that might suit you. I can't remember if you've ever mentioned being on anti-depressants but I know you've mentioned depression before. I take Wellbutrin XL - it helps, and there is no shame in getting help if you need it. If depression is a recurring problem for you (and isn't soley driven by circumstance) then there is something out there that will help you too.

We'll be here for you anytime you need to vent your anxieties. We all have them and I can't think of any place I'd rather unload mine. Just be sure to let us know what we can do to help. Sometimes a few ears and extra shoulders to cry on will do the trick.

Please keep us posted.

Tricia

[5 dogs]

Do you remember way back in Jan. when we still had the 2x2 challenge? I could be wrong about the date. Well, back then i wanted to lose weight for when my DIL graduated and became a doctor. I didn't lose the weight but she is graduating this Thursday and MIL and i will be flying to St. Louis this Wed. Wont be able to post till next Tuesday. My daughter (Jamie), mother, mother-in-law and i will be staying in a hotel for five days and am excited and dreading it all at the same time. Cant wait to see Jamie and my MIL goes with the flow most of the time, its my mother that I'm not exactly thrilled about spending so much time with. The last time i saw her was at my fathers funeral and she still treats me like i was two years old. That two year old child may not have been able to stick up for herself, but this fifty three year old woman will not tolerate it. Should be interesting.

I know i have said this before but i just have to say it again. Thank you Tricia. You have a way of bringing me down to earth and letting me see the big picture of my life instead of just the bits and pieces of the things happening in the here and now.
I will make an appointment to see my doctor but it will have to be after i get back.

Lucky, i hope you finish with that school soon! I miss you.

Have packing and cooking to do so better get to it. Carl wont be able to come because he has to work and he just took a week off when we went up to GA.

Have a good one.
Gloria

[LuckyLadyBug]

Oh, Gloria, I wish I was there to help you -(plus I wouldn't have to take this damn test Wed).

I agree with Tricia. Please take care of yourself physically and mentally.

I got out of a relationship shortly before I found out I have Fibromyalgia. The times since when I have met someone I think - WHY would they burden themself with me. I fight depression too - I don't even know anymore if I am in one I have been this way so long, but I figure my only choice is to stay in missery or try to "buck up".

I have to say I have found St. John's Wort helpful when I get depressed. It helps me not feel so anxious. I think I am rambling now.

I am starting South Beach and I need you here to help me, so, as Tricia said get to the doc. You need to be pain free to keep up that belly dancing.

As for your trip - hang onto Jamie and your MIL. What ever is going on say, "I will go with Jamie". "MIL lets get some coffee". Volunteer to do whatever they want to help minimize your MOM time.

You could also think of this trip as a way to gather stories to share with your "friends".

If I haven't expressed myself well, I am trying to tell you, you are not alone and we want you to get better. I know "Old Blue" must be missing you.

By the way, the test I am taking is for INSURANCE!!!! I actually am an underwriter for commercial bonds but for some reason the government has catagorized us under insurance so we have to follow their rules.

I will check in later - just went to the dentist and have to find some soup and then study.

[5 dogs]

Oh Lucky, you are just going to love being on the beach. Its almost to easy. I have a friend that went on the SBD last year and lost 50 pounds. When i talked to her a couple of days ago, i told her about the 3fatchicks website and all the really good recipes you can find there.

Now y'all know how thrifty i can be when it comes to money. Well, today i went food shopping and i my way there i noticed that someone had put out for the trash a perfectly good couch, and we do need furniture in our Georgia home, so.......... When Carl came home tonight i asked him if maybe he had driven down that particular street where it was at and he said "No, why? Told him about the couch and for some reason he didn't say a word but just shook his head. "But honey, its a good couch except for maybe the smell. Guess i will just have to keep on looking.

Did any of you watch the last episode of Everybody loves Raymond? If so, it really made me stop and think about all the good things in my life. Good show.

Carl is bowling tonight so the house is all soft and quiet except for the hum of my computer. My dog Sky is sound asleep on the floor next to me and every so often i hear her as she takes a big long sigh. Life is good.

Goodnight.
Gloria

[lucky]

Gloria, I am so very glad that your spirits are lifting. Life IS good - at least if you make it that way.

We are off to school but I couldn't help but to stop and let you know that I am glad you are feeling better.

Talk to you all a little later.

Tricia

[LuckyLadyBug]

Gloria, I LOVE the "old blue" you found for your avatar.

What's wrong with Carl??? Tell him to hop in that truck and get that couch!!! My Dad always says, "never pass up a deal or you will be sorry later". Of course that is why I have 40 acres of crap to deal with now!!!!

I found some South Beach bars - okay, but nothing to jump up and down about. I like Atkins and Zone bars better. BUT they are only 140 calories.

Well, off to study. I even bought Mountain Dew. I have never had it in my life but always hear kids drink it to stay up so - - - - I just want to pass this crappy test so I can get on with my life and not have to study and stress out!!!

BIG PRAYERS FOR ME TONIGHT - P L E A S E.

Glad your posts "sound" better, Gloria. Just remember we are here for ups and the downs whenever you need to talk.

[5 dogs]

Good morning.
Get ready ladies, cause I'm getting ready to sing. La la la.

This is to the tune of Hang down your head Tom Dooley.
This time tomorrow, reckon where I'll be.
In some lonesome jet plane.
Eating my B.L.T.

Hang down your head Gloria ......
Hang down your head and cry.
Hang down your head Gloria ......
Tomorrow your gonna ...........Have a wonderful time.

Still have some packing to do but for the most part I'm ready to go.
Called this morning and made in appointment to see my doctor. By the time my trial comes up with my lawsuit, there wont be any money left cause the lawyers and doctors will have it all.

Lucky, i wish Carl would go with me but my DIL and hubby don't see eye to eye on a lot of things. In my house we have a saying, "A little bit of Gina goes a long way. She can be a bit overwhelming at times, but then I'm not married to her and I think she is good for my son. He tends to be a hermit and she brings him out of his shell, so they make a good couple.

One of my tomatoes turned red red, so i made myself a B.L.T. salad for dinner yesterday. Now i could tell you it was good and yummy but in fact it was WONDERFUL. When hubby came home from work, there wasn't any left for him because i ate it all. He's not fond of salad anyway, so we went to get him a burger and fries. When we were standing in line at the fast food place, just talking about our day, i noticed that the people in back of us were listening to our conversation. Well, i decided to give them something to listen to. I turned to Carl and said in a strong voice, "When are you going to marry me? You've got me pregnant twice and now you don't even want to see your own kids. Carl said without batting an eye, "Well, I'm not sure if there mine. I could feel eyeballs staring at us. It was our turn to place our order so we took our food and went home.


Well try to post tomorrow before i go.
Have a great week everyone and i will see you when i get back.
Gloria

[5 dogs]

Question: Do any of you watch the food show? Is Rachael Ray engaged? She has this big rock on her left hand. She's still irritating though.
Gloria