[LoseForLife]

Well, here's a perfect opportunity to give ourselves a fresh new start. Forget the hassles of 2004, it's a whole New Year!!

What we want to do this year is start again. We had some very turbulent times last year, so we want to take this year and shake it by the boot straps!!

Our main challenge is just to focus on living a healthy lifestyle. As a part of that, there will be the ongoing weight loss (we hope!), regular exercise, and continued education about a better way of living. Oh, and of course, the best support a person could need!!!

I think that we should try and get back to what we used to do, where we have a monthly challenge, which can either be a certain amount of weight to lose, or increasing exercise, etc. I think it's really important that we try and push ourselves a little further than before, without putting ourselves off the long term committment to weight loss.

I know that for me, you can be all gung-ho about losing weight when you start, but as the weeks and months pass by, it gets harder and harder to stick with it. So if we can try and keep this fresh and motivating, then hopefully, when we get to the end of this year, we can all feel really good about what we've achieved.

I have come to terms with the fact that the weight I have gained will not come off quickly. Realistically, it could take up to 2 years to lose. BUT, it is better to lose slowly, learning how to adjust my lifestyle to suit my metabolism, so that once I reach my goal weight I have a program that I can follow forever. If I were to "crash diet" it wouldn't serve any purpose but to make me feel crappy, and inevitably fail, and probably make me gain more than before! So I MUST BE PATIENT, and know that if I hang in there long enough, EVENTUALLY I WILL GET WHAT I WANT!

So guys, let's get this ball rolling, downhill and into a size 12!!!!! (or whatever your equivalent size is over there!)

[LoseForLife]

Hi Jo, Kermie and Chris, I hope you've found this ok!

I have to really honest with myself this year. I've spent the last 2 years coming to rather huge realisations about my weight, the emotional issues, food choices, etc. Now I've just gotta put it all together and show some serious results.

Considering I've had a weight problem now for about 14 years, it wasn't until about 2 or 3 years ago that I finally allowed myself to stop feeling guilty for having a slow metabolism. Certainly from self-esteem point of view, it helped me feel less like a failure and more like a person who just happened to be born with slow metabolism. That then enabled me to look at my lifestyle and accept that I will never be one of those people who can eat what they want, when they want, with no consequences. I have reconciled myself to the fact that I will have to be careful of what I eat, and that I maintain regular exercise, for the rest of my life IF I want to change my body.

Of course, I have since been battling with the problem about whether I care about being fat or not. Of course I do! But there are times when I feel so tired and fed up with caring, I get so sick of counting points, forcing myself to exercise when I'm tired, missing out on all the foods I love.... But I know that at the end of the day, I hate being fat. And that I am going to have to sacrifice the "I wish" for "I will".

Over the last few months, I have renewed my love of the gym, and reaquainted myself with my muscles. I have also discovered a whole new world of organic food and healthy living. Admittedly, it didn't last long in the face of my first christmas without my husband, but I am still trying. I don't eat white bread. I buy organic food. I try and cook healthy meals more often than I buy takeaway......

But it can be a whole lot better, and I have to face the fact that I am going through yet another summer hiding under big clothes and suffering the heat, because I haven't been committed enough.

So now I have the chance to make a difference. With you all along for the ride, I'm hoping that us wanting this badly enough will help keep us going long enough to see some seriously amazing results.

I would like to issue the first challenge. This one is only for the coming week, see what you think:

If you and I want to really get this going, walk to your fridges, freezers, cupboards and pantrys, and THROW OUT ANYTHING THAT IS BAD FOR US!!!! Don't hang on to it "for the kids" - the kids can do without for a while. (or replace with something you don't crave that they like - I'm not a big fan of biscuits, so that's my kids' treats). Don't hang on to it to pass on to a friend - be honest, would it last that long?

Then, I want you to make a shopping list and go and buy lots of healthy food, including snacks that can be available anytime - I'm finding nuts, meusli bars, yoghurt, WW fruit salad etc really good little snacks that you can take with you to work, have in the car, etc.

TRY TO AVOID DINING OUT OR EATING AT OTHER PEOPLE'S HOUSES, unless you feel strong enough to make the right choices - low fat sauces, fresh salads without dressings, nothing fried, etc etc.

AND DRINK LOTS OF WATER - I've got 600ml bottles of water that I've bought from the shops that I just keep refilling and putting in the fridge at night. I then just drink those during the day, aiming for about 4 or 5 a day. It's a really good way to keep track of how much you're drinking.

Obviously the next thing is the exercise, but I want to focus on getting the environment back under control. Get past the xmas and new year celebrations, dusk off the cobwebs, and regain the focus to lose weight.

Wadda ya reckon? If you feel you don't need to do this, that's cool, but that's my week. I need to get things back under control, so that I can then start to make some serious plans about how I'm gonna lose this weight.

Next week I'd like to talk about goals, and if anyone's got anything coming up that they want to "trim down" for. Then maybe we can talk about how we can help each other work towards "mini goals" as well as that big GRAND FINALE = the GOAL WEIGHT!!! I've been aiming for that for such a long time it's moving into the realms of mythology! HA HA HA

I'm going to go and get my beauty sleep, so I'm all ready for a brand new start tomorrow. I hope you guys think what I've said and done is ok - I won't be offended if you want to change anything! We're in this together!!!!!

Kermie and Chris PLEASE drop a line soon!

See you tomorrow!

[Grandma3]

Lynne- new thread looks great--thanks for starting it--now I need to save it so I remember where we are Having an ok week--lots of medical issues going on again--really getting sick of it. Today I started with the cold crap my hubby had last week--I really didn't need it! Early to bed for me tonight in hopes of nipping it in the bud. Seeing the doctor again on the 17th--really ready for a hystorectomy. Tired of feeling so crappy and can't get my hemo back up. As soon as it goes up a little the bleeding comes back and I'm back to square one Haven't been able to do any exercise this week--just not feeling up to it. I have been eating healthy though--so maybe the scales won't be unkind on Sat. In a real cold snap here right now--wish it would warm up a little.
My goal for this week is to get better so I can get back with the program. My long range goal is to look better in June than I do now(short season you know
I'll try to reach Kermie and Chris and let them know we've moved. Talk tomorrow. Keep up the positive attitude!!!
Jo

[Grandma3]

Lynne--I heard from Kermie today--she was having trouble finding us again. Hope she makes the connection. I'm home from work --sick again. Came home from work on Wed. coming down with the "cold" crap hubby has had. Went to bed early and thought I had it beat. Went to work yesterday and by late morning felt like I was dying again....Came home and slept until this morning. Still feeling pretty rough so I'm taking it easy. Almost 9 am and I'm not even dressed yet---It is VERY unusual for me to be sick--I know it's because my blood is still so low.
Weigh in tomorrow. Hope for a small loss--but we'll see. Haven't done any exercise this week but haven't done much eating either--no appitite. WOW--NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY THOSE WORDS--NO APPETITE!!!!!!!
How is your new "life style changes" going??? Still hitting the gym???and the bike??? The organic eating is also good--just a little pricey. I try to eat "Fresh" when I can--then frozen and my last choice is canned--just too many persevatives etc. in canned. As long as I can't exercise right now--how about you doing a few extra minutes in my name each day:LOL:
Gonna run--or in my case walk very slowly! I really am going to get out of my pj's and at least load the dishwasher before my next nap--
Keep in touch--
Jo

[LoseForLife]

I have to admit that all my good plans have gone down the creek without a paddle! I'm in a real slump emotionally, making it hard to go to bed at night because I don't want to think. So I'm tired, trying to get back into working again this week, and just struggling to get back on track.

So I have totally failed to live up to my goal, but I have gone shopping today, and bought lots of healthy fresh food, including my organic fruit and veg, and have turfed out everything that's old or junky. I had a WW meal for dinner too, which was good.

Jo, glad to hear that Kermie is still about, hopefully she'll manage to sort it out soon! Wonder how Chris is going with her little man?

Organics aren't actually too bad if you know where to shop here. I bought a whole pile of stuff - lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber, carrots, potatoes, onions, peaches - and it came to about $37. Which is not much more than how much it would cost at the supermarket. It also makes me feel a lot better mentally to know that we are buying something that is healthy and nutritious for the kids and me.

Did I tell you I bought us a dog for christmas? We got an 8 week old puppy, Maltese cross with a toy poodle, with a light caramel coat. He's SO cute, and we've called him Benny, after a dog I had when I was growing up. He's a handful, and is weeing everywhere, but we're getting there! It's great for the kids - they're loving him as their playmate.

My God! Australia is putting on a huge concert tonight to raise money for the tsunami victims, and within 3 hours they've raised OVER $15 MILLION DOLLARS from people calling in to donate!!!!! How amazing is that! I've donated some money, and wish I could do more. I've got a whole stack of clothes that I can't fit into, and I'm going to hand them in. All these little kids are ringing in donating their pocketmoney and stuff. Amazing!!

Jo, I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so bad. I'm not fully up to par with what's wrong, but I'm gathering it's "women's problems"? It must be awful to be feeling so tired and sick all the time - I've had that and I know how hard it is to maintain a normal life when all you want to do is sleep. But you hang in there, and hopefully it will get sorted out soon. I think you're doing an amazing job considering! So KOUDOS to you girlfriend!

By the way, are you familiar with "Outdoor Jack"? He's this guy who was on a show with american girls vying for his attention in the remote bush of Australia. It's still going here, but I read an article in a magazine that he's now happily living in Los Angeles with the one he picked, and I'm curious as to who he picked. Yes, I'm cheating and not waiting for that nail-biting finale! It's such a bad show, but so hilarious watching these american beauty queens trying to deal with the spiders, snakes and camping without their hairdryers and manicures!

I'd better get going, I've got the movie "Housesitter" with Steve Martin and Goldie Hawn about to come on, and it's good for a laugh.

Catch you tomorrow - Promise!

Night!

[Grandma3]

Lynne--happy to hear from you today. I'm out of bed=--barely. Forced myself to go grocery shopping today....thought the fresh air might be a pick-me-upper but it wasn't. Came home exhausted. Temp. back up again. I'm dealing with an upper resportory thing and the female stuff at the same time and it has really knocked me for a loop. Was supposed to go up north this morning with hubby for some ice fishing--but couldn;t muster the strength to go. Nose seems to be drying up some but the cough is still vicious....my tummy muscles are so sore from coughing that I'm thinking maybe I could market it on video---FAB-ABS IN 50 short coughing spells a day!!!--what do you think???? I did have a treat on the scale this morning--down 3 1/2 pounds!!!! I know part of it is from being so sick but just maybe some of it will stay off Thats a total of 13 pounds. I'm getting close to 200 again!!!!
Heard from Kermie again--hope to see a post soon from her. Nothing from Chris.
Organic is a great way to go with children....we have entirely too many additives in our foods. Are you still making it to the gym---it will help with your sleeping problems---not a lecture--just the facts--I always sleep like a baby when I've worked out. Don't be too hard on yourself. The holidays were a real trial for you--I know it brought up lots of memories of Marc and happier times---but remember--there are a lot more happy times in your future--we don't forget the past and we shouldn't--but we need to live in the present and look forward to the future. Start out the morning thinking of yourself Lynne and what YOU want for yourself--everything will fall back in place if you want it bad enough and I think you do......
Haven't seen the show you were talking about--must only be on in Australia. Is it a reality show? I dont watch to many of them--usually only Survivor and then I'm not addicted to it--I can watch it or miss it for a few weeks. I have been watching "Big Fat Loser" this season--have you seen it? Final episode is this week--it is about a weight loss challenge. People have been living together, working out and dieting for the past several months to see who can lose the largest percentage of weight. In the begining the weight loses each week were giant--but now their a more realistic pound or two a week.
We have all kinds of fund raisers going on here too for the Indo, Taiwan etc. disaster. It is heartbreaking to see all the distruction--the children are the hardest to see--you can just see the fear and confusion in their eyes. Fortunately we aren't seeing the disease outbreaks they had predicted--maybe help did arrive in time to ward off that---
Gonna head up for a nap. Still dragging from my grocery store trip---hope to be feeling better soon--it's getting old and I'm not one for laying around--I can see the dust bunnies coming to life in every corner as I neglect my housework
Stay in touch and get back on track---today is a new day-----
Jo

[Grandma3]

Lynne--forgot to congratulate you on your new addition. My daughter used to have a Maltese--they are great dogs and VERY loveable. Hard to potty train though, especially with children in the house. Sammy was pretty jealous of the kids and would only wet in their rooms never at my house! You'll love him to death---now you need to get out walking--puppy's need lots of exercise (just another hidden message to you--keep moving!!) I can see you now struggling down the road with 2 children and a a puppy on a leash---it WILL be a workout!
Jo

[LoseForLife]

That's so true! I'm really looking forward to taking him for a walk - he'll go crazy with excitement, and the kids'll love it too. I love walking and have missed it. Unfortunately Benny can't go on footpaths or into parks until the end of February when he has his next vaccination. So it's the front or back garden only at the moment.

I miss going to the gym. I'm planning on getting in there this week, and the kids can go into the creche while I do. The sleeping issue is more of a mental emotional thing, rather than physical. Once I'm in bed and allow myself to go to sleep I pass right out! It's bad right now, but I know it'll settle cos I had the same problem a few months ago. It's just that because I don't talk much about my feelings about Marc, it kind of builds up, and I have a bit of a meltdown for a little while until my brain sorts it out.

I took the kids to the park this arvo for a picnic with my parents and sister and her partner and kids. I've never been a huge fan of picnics in the park, especially when the kids are little, because I end up running around trying to keep them under control and never get to relax and talk to those I'm supposed to be socialising with. Tonight was no exception, and my parents are hopeless. They're quite happy to sit there and sip their wine and don't offer to help me when I'm trying to eat my dinner and Becky's running off again. Or help my sister who's trying to juggle dinner, and 2 1/2 year old and a baby, because her partner is too hung over from partying all last night. I told my dad as I was leaving that I won't be doing that again for a while, until Becky's old enough to be a little less of a handful. Doing it on my own gets too hard sometimes...

I know I sound like I'm complaining a lot. I guess I'm just fed up with trying to pretend that I'm happy with the fact that I'm 34 and widowed, I have 2 young kids to raise on my own, and parents who don't give a toss. I just get so irritated that they KNOW how hard it is for me, yet never offer to help. I love my kids and of course wouldn't swap them for the world, but I hate being so tired and depressed all the time that I lose that ME time that I need to unwind and refocus on MY goals and aims.

Jo, your weight losses are terrific! It's tricky isn't it - it's great that the losses are there, and have probably been aided by your being sick, but would you take the loss over being sick? I think you'd rather be well and the weight just drop off miraculously? hee hee Wouldn't we all!

That Fat Losers program is starting here in Feb I think. Looks interesting. I'd love to enter a show like that. Yes the Outback Jack one is a reality one. I think Aust is getting a bit sick of the reality shows. The prediction is that this year we'll see a lot of "who dunnits" such as Law & Order, Without a Trace, etc. I love those shows. I love CSI, but can't stand CSI Miami - don't like the main actor. I'm still pouting over the loss of Friends and Sex and the City. And this should be a laugh - Aust is about to start it's own Queer Eye - I don't think it will be as good as the original boys!

Speaking of which, I'm going to go and lie on the couch and watch tv.

I've decided I'm going to use my posts as a food diary as well - boring for you, so just ignore it, but it saves me having to double up and might help keep me honest!

I'll speak to you tomorrow, and I hope you feel better once you've had a good night's sleep.

Chow for now!

Sunday 9th Jan Food Diary:

Breakfast - 3 pancakes with low fat butter and maple syrup
Lunch - 1 sandwich with 2 slices of seed wholemeal bread, low fat butter, leg ham, avocado, tomato, basil, low fat cheese
Afternoon - plain chips, chocolate
Dinner - Small piece of quiche, some grapes, tomato basil bread

Exercise - chasing children!

[Grandma3]

Hey--chasing children counts as exercise in my book!! So does playing with children, reading to children, cooking with children--and it has great healthy mental attributes as well!!! Wish I could give you a few words of wisdom to help you with your slump--but I can't. The death of a spouse is a very hard blow to deal with--and the children are just an added problem. One one hand they help us deal with so much pain--with their quick smiles and innocents but on the other they add stress too--your the "sole" provider now--you have to be tough yada, yada yada. Doesn't leave much time to heal ourselves--does it??? The only words I can offer are that it will get easier, the pain will lessen--in time. Try not to over annalize those around you--they really aren't being insensitive--they simple have their own very busy lives and haven't given as much thought to your pain and loss as they should have. Their human Lynne--forgive and forget--your in a different place than your family right now and worrying yourself sick or spending sleepless nights fretting over their shortcomings isn't helping you any. Take care of yourself, work your program, exercise, eat right and enjoy what you have right now----the happier you are with yourself--the happier your life will be.
I am feeling a little better today--I think I have the cold crap licked. My appetite is better--darn it!! and I have a little more energy. Still taking it very easy though--work will be enough of a challenge tomorrow without still dragging. Not going to walk again this week. I know my blood levels are still way down and the bleeding hasn't stopped so until that happens I'm staying off my feet as much as posible. I have the rest of my life to work out If I have surgery anytime soon I'll have 6 weeks after to get going with the exercise before going back to work.
Gonna run--hubby will be home from the lake soon and I need to get some dinner going. Cloudy gloomy day here but the good news is there are a few snow flakes coming down. We need the moisture very badly--hope it keeps up! Take care of yourself--
Jo

[LoseForLife]

Jo, I hope I'm not coming across as a total ***** who doesn't appreciate what I have around me. Trust me, after what happened to Marc, I appreciate life a lot more. And I don't sit up at nights stressing about THEM, just myself and the kids! LOL Seriously though, I try not to let it get to me too much, and what I have done is just try to step back from the situation - for example, not go to picnics for a while! So I am trying to just take my life for what it is right now. It's just that these last few weeks have been hard in general.

I had a couple of revelations in the car that I want to share with you. This is probably nothing new to you, but I'm still learning.

I made some new year's resolutions this year, and one of them was to forgive myself for not being who I used to be, and move on with who I am now. I know that sounds so basic and simple, but for me, letting go of who I was and what I had has been hard, because everything kind of went down hill from there: Basically in my teens I was slim, gorgeous, and very flirty. I had lots of attention and boyfriends and LOVED it. It was a lot of fun to go out and "play" with the boys. So when I started putting on weight around 19/20, it was really hard to see the attraction start to go, and the attention drop. And because I didn't really understand why I was gaining weight, I didn't know how to control it or stop it. Combined with my mental and emotional issues, the weight piled on and I got more and more depressed. By my early 20's I was a mess. Although I had to have Josh on my own, he was my saving grace. Without him to live for, I don't think I would be here today. But it meant a huge change in lifestyle, which I found hard to adjust to. And although we are talking 8 years on, I still feel regret that I am not that cute young thing that all the men wanted. I have found it hard to join that image up to the middle-aged, overweight mum that I am now. But I was watching Oprah the other week, and they were talking about forgiving people who have treated them badly in the past. About forgiving the person for what happened because you can't change the past, it is done and gone. All you can do is let the past become the past and move on to focus on your life as it is now. That really struck me in regard to myself. I have hated myself for not being who I was in the past, and for letting myself down by not being able to control my weight, and therefore, haven't been able to move forward and sort out who I am now. I need to say, I will never be that young person again, and am not even sure if I would want to if I could. I'm a mature, self-assured (well mostly), caring mother, and if I am not happy with my body image, now is the time to look at what I can do to improve it throughout this new year. The young slim person was a long time ago, a school girl for goodness sake, who made a lot of silly mistakes in her teens, but I know better and am a better person for it. I KNOW why I gain weight, I KNOW that I can do something about it, I KNOW that I don't need to be skinny to be happy and attractive to others, I KNOW that I wouldn't change being a mum for anything, I KNOW I can lead a full and happy life.

The other revelation was that I need to start viewing food for what it represents as it goes into my body. For example, the cheeseburger that I ate on the way to work represents and whole bunch of FAT that will leave a nice line of fat on my arteries as it works it's way towards the fatty cells on my but! Whereas the nice healthy meusli that I had this morning represents strong carbs that clean out my system leaving it glistening like a newly mopped floor, as it pumps energy into my body to help me have a productive and satisfactory day. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God I sound so full of it sometimes! ha ha

Anyway, I must go, I'm at work, but I just wanted to share. Jo, thankyou so much for your thoughts, I totally appreciate them and understand what you are saying. I certainly don't take offence - I just don't want you thinking badly of me!

Have a good day and I'm glad to hear you're feeling better - take it easy and don't stress about the exercise - as you say, you've got plenty of time to catch up! Hope your hubby had a nice trip.

Take care all.

[gfmomx6]

Hi Lynne and Jo,
I hope you don't mind if I join you. I've been reading your posts and you both sound like great ladies. I hope that I am not butting in. Lynne, I hope you find peace in your heart for your loss. My sister lost her love a few years ago when she was preg with thier first child. I have been the recipient of many mad, sad, furious, insightful conversations with her over the last few years! It takes time, but just look in those beautiful eyes of your children and remember the happiness you would not have had if you had never met your love.
Jo, I hope you are feeling better. That cold crud has been making it's way through my house one child at a time(6 of them), but it seems to just stick with me! Hubby doesn't want to kiss me!
A little about me-35(36 in April) mom of 6-2 years up to almost 19. Live in COLD Idaho. Stay at home, homeschool mom. Highest weight was in July-272, weight last Monday was 243.5 Hopefully that will be down tomorrow for weigh in. I am not following any particular program, just cut out the junk, cut down on portion size and I'm doing the Leslie Sansone Walk away the Pounds 3 Miles for Abs tape. I've done 12 miles so far this month and I'm aiming for 50!
Well gotta run.
Peace,
Kathy

[LoseForLife]

Good evening all!

Hi, welcome Kathy. You are more than welcome to join us - we're not exclusive, just been pottering along in our own quiet way over the last couple of years. So, glad to hear from you and would love for you to join us on our weight loss "journey" - don't you love that word! I can't believe you're my age and have 6 kids - you must have the patience of a saint! I struggle with 2!!! Thanks for your thoughts and comments. I just keep going and hope for the best! I can see you have already achieved a really good loss, and by the sounds of it you shouldn't have any problems reaching your goal. Can I ask if you gaining/losing weight is a recent endeavour? What made you start your weight loss plan? How much walking do you do and how often?

I'm attempting to get myself back on track. I'm not following any particular plan, but have done Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers in my past. Also was going to the gym and had a trainer just before christmas, which was great... I must get in touch with her! Admittedly, it's been harder to steer away from the junk food and exercise more frequently than I thought. Maybe having you and Jo to spur me on will be the kick up the pants I need!

You wouldn't believe the kind of luck I have. And I'm being sarcastic here. I'm really trying to be positive, make new goals for the new year, make plans and be optomistic about my future. HOWEVER. I got a phone call from my crabby landlord's secretary today, and apparently he wants to sell up so I have to move in the next 2 months!!!!! I was so upset I cried in her ear, which was really embarassing! I can't believe, after all the time and money I've spent doing this house up and getting settled, that I'm now going to have to pick up and start again. I'm SO pissed off!

So now, on top of everything else I'm trying to deal with, now I have to house hunt and relocate myself and 2 kids! And I've moved often enough to know how hard and exhausting it is. I'm very tempted to have a HUGE garage sale and sell off as much as possible, so that I don't have too much to move. Maybe this will be a good opportunity to off load lots of rubbish and start again. All I can say is that I look up at the stars and think "for god's sake, will you leave me alone!!!!" It would be SO nice if FOR ONCE I could make a change in my life BY CHOICE, not because it has been forced upon me!!!! And this house is my last link to Marc, which will make it doubly hard.

Anyway, today's food choices were AWFUL - I'm not even going to record them. I'll whisper the words "pie" and "pizza" and I'm sure you'll get the idea!

Josh has got a couple of friends over for a sleep over tonight - they're watching Harry Potter. Don't you love slumber parties and movie nights? My fave!

I'm going to go to bed and read a book and try not to think about all the things I'm going to have to do over the next couple of months.....

Kathy, we look forward to you being a part of our group. Maybe you would like to suggest the next challenge? Is there anything that you have a weakness for that we could help with?

Jo, hope you're ok and up and moving about again.

Kermie and Chris PLEASE drop a line!

Night!

[gfmomx6]

Just popping in to say thanks for the welcome. I don't have much time, kids want the computer!
My weight gain started 17 1/2 years ago when I was preg with my first son, I started at 135 and ended at 200! Slowly went up from there. 6 weeks after having my last baby I was at 239, I went up to 272, now after 2 years I am back at 239! I didn't start to lose weight until my oldest daughter graduated in May and I realized she could get married and have children! My motivations to lose weight are-
#3-I don't want to be the "fat" mom in wedding pictures!
#2-I have a 2 year old son and I want to be around for his children!
#1-Feel good about myself, lower my blood pressure and get healthy.

Lynne-Sorry to hear about your housing problem. I hope you find something perfect, quickly! Don't stress(I know, easier said than done) Please remember, also that the memories of your husband are in your heart and in your children, not in the walls of a house.

Well, I'm being chased away!!!!

Peace,
Kathy

[Grandma3]

Hey Lynne and welcome Kathy. Sorry I've been AWOL for a few days. Lots of things going on. A good friend of hubbys passed away on Sat--very young, very sad but not totally unexpected. Has had a serious drinking and drug problem for years and it finally caught up with him. Very hard on hubby--he has really been trying for years to get him help--along with a lot of other people. I've also been doctoring again. Hemo still way low and bleeding still going on. Decision was made tonight for a full hystorectomy. Scheduling it tomorrow. I'm hoping to put it off until Feb. 8th.--we'll see. Sounds silly but I'm trying to work it out so I can have 3 weeks recovery before we leave for a few weeks in warmer climates. Then I can save all of my vacation time for summer and another 3 or 4 weeks off Better get serious with this diet stuff before I'm laid up right????? Feeling heavy tonight but I'm not stepping on the scale until Sat. Ate out today so supper was light. I am going to start walking again on Friday--starting out slow and not overdoing it.
Sounds like your doing a lot of soul searching Lynne--good for you!! Bummer about the move. I know how hard you've been working on the house. Nice of the landlord to take advantage of your hard work to make more money off you---what a But it may be a positive for you---is there a chance you can buy this time??? At least your not having to move in the winter. When is Josh done with school?? Start looking now--maybe you can find something quickly and stick the landlord with no rent until he can sell He sure has pulled some crap on you the last few years--you have to move, you don't, you have too-----
Kathy--sounds like your really working your program right now. That's great!!!! Sorry your joining us when I'm such a mess health wise, but I am still here to support you guys with your program. I'm not supposed to be dieting or exercising right now--except in moderation because of the female stuff but once I'm thru this surgery--I'll give you and Lynne a run for your money--challenge wise--I need to lose 30-40 pounds and would like to do it by May----pretty lofty goal but do-able, However I'm setting a one-two pound a week goal once I'm able to get going. In the meantime--it's lots of protein and cream of wheat twice a day----and if I can lose a little before the surgery that will be a bonus---
Boy this is sure a rambling mess tonight--sorry--too much going on all at once. I'll post tomorrow. Keep up the good work ladies!
Jo

[LoseForLife]

Hi guys!

Sorry I haven't been in for a couple of days. I've just been too darn tired! By the time you get the kids to bed, clean up the house, do the dishes, etc etc, it's getting late - and this doesn't include watching tv or reading or any "me" time! I'm taking advantage of my lunch break at work - I think sometimes it's the only time I get to relax and be uninterrupted!

Kathy, thanks for sharing your history - I know it's hard, when you are juggling kids etc. I never had a weight problem until I was at art college and out partying and enjoying myself. It was a bit of shock I can tell you! But it certainly became a "bigger" problem after I had Josh - I was a single mum, coping with a newborn and being on my own, so a lot of the time I opted for quick meals, takeaways and stuff, and it was hard to get out to exercise. I lost quite a bit of weight a few years ago, but when Marc and I met, I piled it on again. They say that having a partner with a healthy appetite can make you gain weight because you tend to match your portions to theirs. It totally sucked having a partner who was as lean as a bean and could eat anything!

It sounds like you weigh about the same as me - do you have a specific goal in mind for your final weight? Do you have any short term goals or events coming up?

Jo, don't stress if you can't post all the time - I understand! It was sad to hear your hubby's friend died. It's hard trying to help someone who's so low, but then having to lose them after such a battle must be awful. That explains why you are so compassionate and upbeat to me! What a scary decision you have had to make - you are very brave, and I wish you luck. I fully understand why you want to recover before you go away - then you'll be able to relax and enjoy yourself without feeling so low all the time. And then you'll be able to come back all refreshed, and by golly then we'll be in trouble! ha ha

Unfortunately I can't afford to buy a house, so YET AGAIN I'm going to have to move into a rental property. It's so ANNOYING - the last house we moved into we said would be our last rental property before buying. And then we were kicked out of that. And we said the same about this one, and now this! grrrrrr The only possible advantage is that I might be able to find something closer to Josh's school. Relatively we aren't that far - it takes me about 20 minutes to get there in the morning. But most of the kids live close, which means that Josh doesn't get to hang out with them after school as much as he could if we were neighbours. And doing 20 mins there, 20 mins back, twice a day, is annoying! I tried to convince him to go to a school around the corner, but he's too settled. And after everything, I'm reluctant to change anymore than I have to. Anyway, I won't do anything until I'm advised in writing, and knowing my landlord, that could take months! Trust me, as soon as I find out, I'm going to stop paying rent, because a) he can't kick me out!, and b) I've got photos that PROVE how much money I've spent on the place. And if I do that, the money will cover the bond I would have to pay on a new place, rather than having to take it out of savings.

My eating has been AWFUL. I really need to snap out of this slump, but it's so hard when I feel so tired. I have tried getting to bed early, but end up lying there crying or thinking about stuff, and it's still after 11pm before I drop off. And last night I was woken about 3 times, so I feel crappy today. It's so frustrating, because it affects my mood with the kids, and makes it hard for me to feel motivated and clear minded at work and personally. I know this a phase, but I'm just not quite sure how to get out of it. I know it won't last, and maybe the whole project of moving will help keep my mind off things.. who knows?

Anyway, enough of me complaining - it's all I seem to do at the moment!

I'm going to make a promise - I WILL GO FOR A REALLY GOOD WALK TOMORROW. You can hold me to that ok? I'll force mum to take the kids and run off before she can complain!

What can I use as a coping tool to stop me eating all this rubbish - chewing gum can be quite effective. What else? What do you guys reckon? I need to plan, so that tomorrow, so while I'm dodging mum and the kids and being a good girl exercising, I can avoid bad food too..... Do you have the same problem? Do you find the call of chips and chocolate more alluring that apples and carrots?

Have a good night ladies, and speak to you tomorrow.