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Old 11-05-2004, 01:27 PM   #10
jkfla's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: oklahoma
Posts: 416

Default wow!

Thanks so much everyone for the overwhelming support. i really appreciate it! i am going to save all this and print it out to keep and read when i get down. i have been thinking a lot about this and yes i do feel safe being fat. i'm also wondering if i'm doing this to punish myself. when i was thin i made fun... well, not really made fun of fat people but i'd be grossed out by fat people (we had several severely overweight girls at school and watching them eat made me sick... and now i am one.. so now i'm a believer in karma) and maybe this is my way of putting myself in their shoes and making everything ok ... by staying fat. but i'm still miserable. and NO that sausage, corn dog, hash brown, twinkie etc last night is not worth the way i am feeling right now.

i'm afraid to be noticed, afraid of the unknown. my step mom thinks its my fear of relationships... i think that's probably some of it.

i will give not weighing another try...
HW: 281.8
CW: 273.8
Goal: 261 by 9-1 (my birthday!!)

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