[PamPSM644]

I weigh myself every Sunday. Last weigh-in I was 261.Tuesday I cheated big-time.My son got me a Wendy"s 6 dollor burger with fries and a small strawberry shake.It was so good and I relished every bite.I felt guilty afterwords and worried how it would effect my next weigh-in.The next day I returned to my diet.Today is Sunday and I weighed in first thing this morning. I almost fainted.The scale said 256.Even though I'd cheated I still lost. Heres proof that it matters most what we eat regularly and that you don't have to let a moment of weakness undo all your good work.What a comfort to know this.

[jkfla]

great job on the loss!

now putting on my mean face.... please don't make a habit of doing this. please don't think i'm trying to get on you about this but rather talking from experience. when i first started out i was doing really well... a little into my journey i found that i could cheat a little and still lose but it got to where i was wanting to cheat more and more so i started cheating more and more until i totally fell off the wagon and gained 20 pounds back. and now when i cheat a little i don't have much of a loss like i did before. i think i'm at the point in my weight loss where EVERYTHING i put in my mouth matters.

it sounds like you know what you are doing though. i'd just hate to see all your hard work be wasted. i know we should give in a little every now and then so we don't feel so deprived but you have done so well, please be careful. we are all rooting for you!

[Sheila53]

Good for you! Great work on the loss, and jumping back into it after having a "guilty pleasure."

I think age or previous yo-yo dieting may play into this?? Don't know for sure. I read of others having an off day or meal and still losing weight, but I'm one of those who cannot deviate one iota without it showing up on the scale even when I increase exercise or eat less the remaining days of the week. Wish I wasn't, but that's just me. So if I want to eat something not on my plan, I do so with the understanding that I will gain weight.

[nelie]

I have read that your body gets used to what you are eating, so shaking it up every once in a while may help you lose weight at a steady pace rather than hitting plateaus.

Not that I recommend "cheating" but what I do is every few days I mix up my food a little, still healthy stuff but not what I usually eat. For me that means following Phase 1 of SBD and having a Phase 2 SBD every few days.

[Samantha2002]

I figure losing weight is very scientific. You have to burn 3500 more calories than you consume in order to lose 1 lb. So your meal probably amounted to a good 1000 calories, but, really, in comparison to how much you burn by just being alive, it wasn't much. I think the important thing is that you enjoyed your "cheat" and are back on the right track!
Congrats on the weight loss!!

[Jillegal]

I think you're onto something Sheila, as I'm in the same boat (the menopausal body seems to have a mind of its own!) Either that, or, as Nelie pointed out, after a sustained period of time (I believe its over two years for both of us) the body becomes accustomed to the amount of energy you put into it and won't accept anything over the expected amount. Also, the closer you get to goal, the more your body fights to hang onto every last ounce. At Weight Watchers this week we were discussing how "our body is our friend" and, as in all relationships, there are rocky times where you're at odds. At this moment I'm barely on speaking terms with mine!

[howie6267]

Great job on the loss. I was allowing myself once a week treat night but I find it hard to get back on the next day. So now I am cutting that back to once a month. I also allow myself to eat a cheesburger once in awhile as long as I stay in my calories. I usualy get a wendy's Jr cheesburger only 350 calories. I know some try to stay away from this stuff all together because it's not the healthiest but I think everything in moderation. If I do that I don't feel as deprived.

[funniegrrl]

There are so many issues in your post ...

First, yes, I'm very happy this experience showed you that one indulgence is not the end of the world -- that as long as you get right back to your "normal" routine, it's just a little blip in the big scheme of things.

Second, this is where I have to mention that I have a BIG problem with the word "cheat." Dieters cheat. If you are really making that committment to long-term lifestyle changes, having a planned treat every now and then, even if it represents a calorie splurge, is not that big a deal. Even it's a total slip off your program -- unplanned or you went overboard -- it's still nothing to worry about in the context of your whole life of healthy eating as long as it doesn't derail you. But, if you always call slips and treats "cheats" then you are associating all kinds of negativity and guilt to food. Eating / not eating for emotional reasons is what got most of us fat. The less we rely on emotion to dictate our food choices, the better off we are in the long run. So please try to drop the idea of "cheating" and all of its black/white, good/bad connotations. If it was a planned treat you felt you controlled, then enjoy it and be done. If it was a slip, learn from it, forgive yourself, and move on.

I do agree that until you become more experienced and secure in your healthy eating habits, it is easy for those occasional treats to be more and more frequent and pretty soon you've abandoned your healthy eating habits. Different strategies work for different people -- I knew that feeding desires for high-calorie, large-portion foods would only keep them alive, so I essentially abstained for the first 6 months or so of my program. I did miss those foods and old food habits, but I can't say I felt deprived because I recognized that what I was doing was so very necessary. My motto was, "Whatever works," and for me that meant staying away completely so that I could get used to eating only small portions of low-calorie food without distraction. But, if having a small planned indulgence occasionally helps keep you sane, by all means go for it. Just be very observant about how it affects you, though, and if you see signs of trouble -- increased cravings, greater frequency, larger portions, feelings of lack of control -- stop or scale back as Howie described. It's all about doing what works while giving yourself the greatest opportunity to really change from the inside out.

Finally, I want to address a statement that disturbs me: "My son got me a Wendy"s 6 dollor burger with fries and a small strawberry shake."

Why did your son get this food for you? Did you ask? If so, why? If he bought it without your asking, why did you eat it? You should NEVER EVER eat to please another person. What you put in your mouth is YOUR decision, your business alone. I don't care if he did it because it was your birthday and he spent his very last $6 in the world on it -- eating something to make somone else happy is a People-Pleasin' Fat Chick habit that has to stop. You may have to talk to the people in your life and tell them you appreciate their thoughtfulness but that you need their support and acceptance of your choices, not their food. This is a BIG deal. If sticking to your plan means taking this food and throwing it in the trash without taking a single bite, then that's what you have to do.

[Jillegal]

I think you make a lot of good points funniegrrl (although I think Pam already has a good understanding of what you are saying, since she admits "what matters most is what we eat regularly" and is stating an expression of comfort in knowing "that you don't have to let a moment of weakness undo all your good work").

I, too, wonder what the motivation was behind your son's choice of meal, Pam. If he's attempting to sabotage your weight-loss efforts, then I'd be concerned. Otherwise, I suppose you'll just have to be firm in stating to others what is or is not allowed on your plan.

I find it interesting how different people perceive different words. I don't have an issue with the word "cheat" at all. Yes, dieters "cheat", but to me so do long-term participants in a lifestyle change, as do maintainers. To me, any time you do not adhere to your life plan, you have cheated. I know I'm in this for life. I also know I need a break from my plan from time to time. When I first started this journey I didn't waiver from my plan for 8 months (including holidays, weddings, etc.) I never had a gain during those first 8 months. Yes, it was motivating, but it wasn't for life. Rather, it was a way to get a good start towards where I had to be before living realistically. Now I have planned "cheat days" (actually, I prefer to call them "free days"). Thanksgiving last weekend was one. I went off plan, enjoyed a variety of foods in amounts I'm no longer accustomed to and then got right back to business the next day. I just accept that I won't have a loss that week, but I can live with that. Not saying this strategy is for everyone - I know there are people here who believe that having "free days" is not a true acceptance of your new lifestyle. Different strokes for different folks.

As for "treats", I have a different meaning for that word. To me, a treat is a guilt-free imitation item that closely approximates those things I so enjoyed in my former lifestyle that unfortunately contributed to my weight problem. For example, a fat-free, sugar-free chocolate fudge pudding is a treat to me. I can eat one, enjoy it and feel good about not being off plan. Occasionally partaking in those kinds of treats helps me stay on plan. More importantly, it gives me a feeling of being in control, which I appreciate because goodness knows there's enough going on in my life that I feel I have absolutely no control over!

[jansan]

For me the words I choose to use have great importance. Food/eating words from my past can have a negative buzz to them that influence what I think about myself and my actions. I used to think in terms of 'good' and 'bad' foods, and eating events, and hence 'good' and 'bad' me. I used to be 'bad' because I ate something 'bad'. I was 'good' because I ate a leaf of kale. I would transfer to myself judgemental statements regarding the foods. And it simply wasnt true. What I have learned is that there are no good nor bad foods (though some foods certainly taste good or bad, LOL). And more important, I am good and worthwhile no matter what I eat or dont eat. My being good has nothing to do with my size or state of my eating.

There are also other eating words that negatively affect me too. 'Cheat' is one of them. Even typing it makes me cringe abit, tho others do not share this feeling. I guess I have come to think in terms of what I eat as 'choices', some smarter than others perhaps. And some not on my plan, and some downright irritating. Last night for example I went to dinner at a friends. I knew they were serving boysenberry pie for dessert. I knew I would have some before I went. I ate less at the meal, and had a normal sized piece, but declined the icecream on top. I ate it slowly with great relish. After it was eaten, I told the hostess I had never enjoyed a piece of pie more. And that was true. She offered a piece to take home, and I declined. I had had my pleasure and didnt want to have any more. Of course its taken years to get here, but I dont consider that a cheat at all, even a planned one. It was a choice. Words have power.

Eating isnt a test so you cant cheat. Jan

h250/s214/c206/g170?

[howie6267]

I guess I don't look at words so much. Whether its diet or life change they mean the same thing. If you use the word On Plan or Life Change long enough you will probably find it meaning the same thing as diet means to you now. The same with bad choice vs. cheat. They will come to mean the same thing.

I'm not saying it's bad to use different words and if it helps you through then that's great but it's only words. To me words mean nothing. It's our actions that count. If I cheat or go off plan either means I made an action that will have a consequence. Same goes if I stay on my diet/plan my actions are going to make a better body. It all comes down to are we going to DO what is best for our bodies.

I hope we have not made you feel bad for your choice of words Pam. Your doing great and I know you will continue to do great.

[funniegrrl]

All I know is that the main reason so many weight-loss efforts fail is because of the way people talk to themselves. Language is extremely powerful, loaded with meaning. It's just not something we think about every day. Losing weight often involves some pretty profound changes to mind-set. Because of the way humans learn, if we hear something often enough we come to believe it. If we always use negative language with ourselves we have a negative view of ourselves and our efforts. Negativity is ALWAYS a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure. Whatever you say, you'll do. I do agree that actions are what count, but language influences action.

In the book Thin for Life, there is an entire chapter devoted to positive self-talk being one of the 10 key strategies that successful losers/maintainers used. That's why so many people have found tapes & books of affirmations helpful -- through language, they reinforce the idea that a positive attitude is your most powerful ally in this fight.

So, if you don't believe that language affects you that greatly, well ... more power to you. But for me, it's been a crucial factor in turning my life around.

[howie6267]

True words do affect us and I should not have said they mean nothing. My main point is that the postive words that we are switching out for the so called negative words are just going to become the same. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.