[barbygirl43]

I need a break! I don't know if it's the fact that I'm going back to work full-time on Monday, caring for two under two with a third that is ADHD, the lack of fundage in our family or a combination of all three but I'm starting to stress and I usually don't stress out too much. Add that to the fact that I've had a busy week.
Last night one of my childhood friends who moved back to OK had a home interior party. Jeff usually team ropes in the arena behind the house on Fridays but we had some rain and there were more storms moving this direction so he was supposed to keep William for me and I would take Lilly. She is at that perfect age--hasn't quite shown her temper yet and yet she is just old enough to be self-sufficient with some guidance, making sure she's not eating dog food, sticking her hand in the plug-ins etc. Well one storm went through but when I had to leave they didn't call off roping so I had to take William with me to the party. For those of you who don't know, he has acid reflux and has good days and bad. He's on a special formula, has to have gas drops in every bottle, eat rice cereal in his bottles, take a medicine that speeds up his digestion as well as zantac 2x a day and is taking nystatin for his thrush. Don't get me wrong, I love my little baby to death but caring for him 24-7 can be tiring. Needless to say I was really looking forward to a night out with just us girls but it didn't happen.
Well the same friend had a cookout today for her mom's 50th birthday and the whole family went. I was the one who had to take care of William pretty much all day. Jeff is wonderful around the house and even gets up for nighttime feedings on occasion but it seems like every time we go places the responsibility falls on my shoulders or I feel if I'm not the one taking care of him everyone will think I'm a bad mom.
Well my mom, my friends mom, and my friend were all outside reminiscing about old times and I was stuck inside caring for the kids. I too would've liked to be outside but no one likes to hold a crying baby except mommy.
Then we get home and William is having a bad night and only wants to be held or he cries and cries plus i had to boil eggs, get the dye ready bake that ww diet soda cake on top of did I mention the baby wouldn't stop crying. and on top of that I've been great at exercising every day. I enjoy it. It's me time but with all we had to do when we got home I couldn't fit it in. so while Jeff was cooking dinner (I told you I had a great hubby) I finally grabbed a beer and headed outside. After crying for a bit I do feel better.
I really think I'm just worried about how I'm going to be able to continue to eat healthy, fit in exercise and spend time with the family. I'm going to have to start getting up around 6 a.m., get me ready, get the two little ones ready, drive 35 minutes to daycare and work, work from 8-5, pick up the kids, and drive the 35 minutes home, spend time with all 3 kids, eat dinner (since Jeff is working from home he'll be responsible for dinner), try and fit in some exercise at some point, and get ready for bed.
I guess it's just the fear of the unknown that has me all in a knot. I'm sure after a couple of weeks back in the groove it will all work itself out.
If you've read this far, thanks for listening.

[melsfolly]

I wish I knew some magic words that I could say to make it all better, but I don't. Somehow you have to make some time for yourself ~ even if it means asking for more help from your hubby or your mother. But in the meantime do what you can ~ drink your water, watch your portion control even if you can't find the time to follow any particular plan, try to make the best food choices that you can and come here to post whenever you can. We can't fix things, but we are here to listen and support you.

Melissa

[V-Bea]

This is a roomful of hugs and well wishes!If I knew how to add a cute picture or add some increadable words of wisdom,I would,but I can only send you my heartfelt wishes that each day will bring more pease to you.

[Tammy32]

I've certainly been where you are now. My daughter is six months now, but for the first four months she cried non-stop. She is six months now and she still cries alot. I to have had problems with reflux with her. Alot of the things you are doing I had to do also and am still having to do. You are right, nobody cares to hold a baby that is crying all the time. Sometimes my husband would get so frustrated to after so many hours of crying I thought he was going to have a nervous breakdown. I still have to feed her sitting up and for twenty minutes after that she has to stay inclined. In the middle of the night that twenty minutes seems like a lifetime. And when she gets sick it is projectile vomitting and alot at that. I swear I spend more time doing laundry and scrubbing everything she has been sick on than anything else. I love her to pieces, but I can really relate to what you are going through. I see all that work now as good excercise...lol..It keeps me sane. Because there are days that I can not get out and walk.

I have a fourteen year old who is ADHD...I'm not sure how old yours is but for us it has improved over the years. He stills gives me a really hard time. He is a major stress on me right now. My husband is in Japan for eight months so I am doing it all alone. My family lives on the opposite coast from me so that is not an option.

The unknown is very hard to deal with. But maybe going back to work will give you the small break you need everyday. As long as you are not worrying about the kids all day too..hehe....Stay strong and just do the best you can. You are only human and you have got alot going on all at once. It will all come together and go much more smoothly. I know it is hard to want it now but not being able to have it. Unfortunately most of life is that way. You have alot more will power than you probably realize and I have faith you can stay on track. I'd be concerned with all that you have going on if you did not have stress..heh. If you ever need to vent feel free to mail me. I don't mind a bit. With a little time you will once again find inner peace. Until then we are here for you.

[Goddess Jessica]

Awwww! Girl, sometimes a good vent does a bunch of good. I hope things get better for you. My mother said I was a colic-y baby until age two. I'll give you mother's all the credit in the world.

[Raelynn]

I'm sorry you're so stressed out! I like Jessica, also was a colicky baby and wonder some days how my mom dealt with me. You're doing awesome. As for exercising/eating healthy, at first it might be a challenge, but after a short while, it will become routine and a lot easier. I am a single mom of a 3 1/2 year old, and work45-50 hrs a week, with a 30 min commute each way, and somehow still manage to squeeze in time to exercise because I know how much calmer and less stressed out I am when I work out regularily.

[Sandi]

I think Raelynn hit on an imprtant point. Exercise and how it calms you and relieves stress. Now, I know, you thinking Sandi, go fly a kite - I do not have time for exercise. But what about a quick walk during lunch? 20 minutes would be a great start!!!

I am sorry that life is crazy right now, we are here for you. Sometimes just getting it all down and out of your system is all you need!! We're here for you.

How did your 1st day of work go??

[barbygirl43]

Thank you all for the kind words and hugs. I think I just needed to "unload." I've been story up my emotions and feelings this time for too long. I sat down and talked with Jeff and I felt much better.
I was back at work today and it went well. I was bored most of the time but that's okay. The job will pick up soon.
As for William, I put a call in to his ped this morning and I have to call the pharmacy tomorrow to see if they carry the prevacid or prilosec or can order it and she will call in the scrip for him. When I picked the kids up from daycare they bragged on how well both of them were.
I do plan on taking time out every day to exercise, even if it is at 8 p.m. after we get the kids in bed. I didn't tonight because it's poker night and I came home to pick up Jeff, Christopher, and the cheese biscuits he made and drove to mom's. But you can bet I'll be back exercising tomorrow night.

[SuchAPrettyFace]

Sorry to hear you're so stressed out! I'm glad your husband is such a great guy. We all have those days, kids or not! We're always here to listen & offer support. *hugs* It will get better, I promise.

[dowsx4]

I hope the medicine helps! Its very stressful when your child is ill and there is nothing you can do that seems to make them more comfortable. I am glad you husband helps out that is a start. But the exercise will help you feel better if you can manage it. Have you tried taking the baby for a walk outside? The weather is getting warmer and maybe the stroll will distract him as well?