Star - you are not crazy.... it is very true what you are experiencing!
I was 200lbs back in 1988 - and then slim fasted my way to 134 lbs. in 1991.
I got promotions at work and big raises.
People thought I was so funny and the life of the party.
New people wanted to hang with me (that NEVER gave me the time of day)
EVEN WORSE - at a family reunion a 2nd cousin's daughter who was 6 at the time was always very snotty to the family members - but that XMAS when I was in a size 6 she sat on my lap the whole time and literally was attached to my hip.
Yes, people used to say I was a nicer person and blah blah blah.
I HATED IT! I knew I was no different! It was horrible.
BUT - I had a co-worker who was heavy and I remember at lunch she used to come back from the cafeteria with a cold cut sandwish, potato chips and a regular soda.... and I could hear my thin brain saying "Why doesn't she just lose some weight? She's such a pretty girl and she would be so much happier if she just would change her habits." ??????????????????????????????? I remember feeling sick that I could think that way when it was so hard for me to lose the weight. I also remember thinking about it as my scale went back up, up, up and up and I couldn't gain control.
We are all human and preceive things as we learn through our experiences. I'm not sure we can control those thoughts and emotions - but it is good to write them down and reflect so we don't fall victim to it ourselves as I had done.
Kim in NJ
Re-committed to following Accu-Weight Loss program (aka "The Bead Diet) 1/15/2011.
Love this plan!