[BillBlueEyes]

Welcome to the discussion group, support group, Diet Coach group, Diet Buddy group relating to the two books by Dr. Judith S. Beck:

The Complete Beck Diet for Life

and the first book

The Beck DIET solution: train your brain to think like a thin person.

The Beck Diet Solution is a psychological program, not a food plan. It provides a step-by-step program to learn specific techniques to stay on our diet, lose weight, and maintain our weight loss for life. The program is based on Dr. Beck's clinical research in Cognitive Therapy (CT).

The Complete Beck Diet for Life expands the earlier work and includes a food plan with suggested menus. From the cover:

With The Complete Beck Diet for Life you'll discover the 5 stages of successful dieting and maintenance. You'll learn how to motivate yourself, give yourself credit for every change you make, create time and energy for dieting, and handle hunger and cravings. Dr. Beck eases you into changing one step at a time. You'll master one task before moving on to the next. And you'll learn techniques to deal with challenging situations, such as sticking with ou plan at celebrations and dealing with "food pushers." With Dr. Beck's skills, you'll achieve a lifetime of healthful eating and lifelong motivation.

This is a place to discuss the Beck strategies and our daily efforts, to receive and provide support, and, for some of us, is where we serve as on-line diet buddy (coach) to each other.

If you’ve arrived from a search engine, you've landed at the site of 3 Fat Chicks (3FC), a remarkable place for those interested in a healthy life style, including mindful eating, exercise, and weight loss. More about the site, including how to register so that you can post, can be found here.

The books are available on Amazon through the 3FC store by clicking their names above; buying through 3FC helps to cover the costs of running this site.

You can find the list of previous (or more current) monthly Beck threads here on 3 Fat Chicks via:

List of Monthly Beck Threads for Support, Discussion, Buddy/Coach

[BillBlueEyes]

Diet Coaches/Buddies – Yet another minor shoveling day; CREDIT moi for doing it instead of hoping that it'll get warm and evaporate on its own. Walked to an event I could get to without driving. That was a fortunate choice since there was no parking available.

Snacks and meals at home were on plan, CREDIT moi. Nibbling from two occasions where food was placed in front of me wasn't my best. I get distracted by many hands reaching for a tray of goodies on the table in front of us.


onebyone – Pricing your own work is a really tough job. I was impressed with the strategy of a ceramic studio in the Berkshires of Massachusetts where there was a selection of 'Museum Quality' works at least double the standard prices. When they emptied the kiln, they arbitrarily selected the best to put in that category. Seemed like a good idea to make the other pieces look like a good buy.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – Think I'll borrow this to help me with snacking today: "because I didn't want to report making the exact same mistake two days in a row."

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Super Kudos for getting your brain to the point where "my brain wants to aid me in practicing self care even when presented with my next life challenge." Love the thought of bringing your "own organic cottage cheese" to the hospital to compliment its salad.

maryann - Sending supportive thoughts for dealing with the cash flow part of the last phase of life - we're facing that with my MIL now. No matter how well provided, a healthy long life can outlive it.

Readers -

day 31 Decide about Drinking

Does your diet plan discourage alcohol? If so, how do you feel about giving it up? Drinking alcohol is an individual choice. My personal decision is to have a drink only occasionally because I'd much rather spend my calories on food.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 220.

[gardenerjoy]

I lost 2 pounds in January. Considering that I averaged a gain of more than 2 pounds a month for all of 2014, I'm calling that terrific!

I would, of course, like the weight to come off a little faster and I still have some willingness to do more, as long as I have a larger option for one of my afternoon snacks if I need it. I also have a willingness to at least read Stage 2 in the green book this week. I'll keep working with the Stage 1 Success Skill Sheets for now.

WI: -0.45 kg, Exercise: +50 1225/1200 minutes for January, Food: 100% op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

[maryann]

Good Morning, Coaches.

I am very excited to change my ticker this morning. I am down three pounds. This feels very terrific. I am as always amazed that it is not WHAT I eat that lowers the scale. It is HOW I eat it. This month has mostly been working on 100% stage one skills sheet with no food modification. One of the big tricks for me has been to only eat what I had written the night before. Because I allowed myself to write things like "Two Starbucks Cake Pops," when I wanted more I could satisfy myself by saying, "Well, write down three Starbucks cake pops then." But at night I realize that three is ridiculous. Built in resistance training.

So this week I have been trying to attack Stage Two (like gardenerjoy) . I am, as always, taking what I can and leaving the rest. What I can do today is substitute one meal for a healthy 250 cal smoothie. (The stage two calculations say one meal needs to be 250 calories.) I am using Beck thinking skills to see what will actually work for me. Maybe because it is cold out now, breakfast smoothie is a "no go." A Lunch smoothie when I am off work is easy enough. That leaves dinner for work days meaning I sit at the table with the boys drinking a smoothie while they eat what I cooked. This would have an added benefit of limiting portions and snacking while I clean up - always tough in the evening. I can do try this for this week. It is JUST one week.

Up and running with me fitbit. Amazed how quickly the steps add up when I take a half hour walk. Goal for fitbit is 30 mins of exercise and/or 10,000 steps.

Very emotional last night after doing financial books with mom. She will not be able to stay in her house for more than three years if she can't turn things around. And then she told us she is STILL giving money to my 43 year old brother. Another 53 year old brother has not paid back 20,000 that could double the time in her house. He doesn't have a job. All DH and I could do was to give her February goals - stay on a cash budget and to tell family she is done giving money out. Deep down I don't believe she can tell people, "No."

So here I sit this morning swallowing deep resentment towards my brothers. At least I am not swallowing doughnuts. I am baffled by peoples' ability to be self centered, brutish scavengers. And now for my part - I think this provides a window into my character defects. I have used food to live in an "ivory tower." I refuse to believe people can do things like steal my phone, abandon their children for drugs ( Lexxiss' story is heart wrenching) and manipulate a vulnerable 80yo mother. Then when Life shows me "This is the truth" I hide emotionally from it in my food. "Go away. We are not seeing the truth today I have a five pound box of See's candy that says everything is sweet."

The greatest gift a food plan will be to learn to live life on life terms. To be forced to forgive,accept or change by choice and not have the decision forced on me through denial. There will be no anesthesia through compulsive food addiction. Lots of opportunity for growth.

Big stuff. Thanks for listening to it all.

[CeeJay]

Happy Sunday!!!

Boy could I use another day this weekend. I am really enjoying the downtime our cold weather is providing. Today I did a whole bunch of things I wanted to do- wrote in my food journal, finished a book, talked to a few relatives on the phone, and did some surfing while listening to Jimi Hendrix live at the LA Forum April 25, 1970. Sweet!

I am doing very well on South Beach. I am now sort of looking at carbs as a treat and that is working for me. I am still watching everything carefully and that is working for me. Friday was the first horrible eating day I have had in a month but I stopped right away and have been eating healthy all weekend. It was a good moment for me when I told myself to calm down and stop now and was able to do it. I have lost 12 pounds since Jan 4 so am happy with that.

maryann- I could have cried reading your post about your mom and your brothers. It really hit home hard for me. For years my sister took terrible advantage of my mother and now that I have mom living with me and the free ride ended, she and her children barely acknowledge mom's existence. It is very hard to accept that anyone, let alone people in your family, can be so cruel. Your description of "self centered, brutish scavengers" fits my sister perfectly.

Take care everyone!

[nationalparker]

I, too, am craving another weekend day (or more). Just under three weeks until our vacation. No forward progress weightwise, but today I'm not stressing about it. Food was ok this weekend - one that seemed to fly by as DH is working nights now.

Not much to report here - trying to add in more protein including more at breakfast. Had more protein to start my day this weekend and it seemed to carry over for longer satiety. Could be just my mind, but whatever it was, fine.

Spent a lot of time yesterday discussing a potentional home purchase, but while we love the interior, the location just has too many negatives despite the actual spot between our jobs being ideal. No rush for us, but want to get out before too much more crime creep and want more space.

Maryann - Sending positive thoughts to you ... it's nearly impossible to find peace/acceptance of others' financial choices - be it those who take advantage of parents or parents who allow it. Both are hard for me to digest. Great job this January!!

Bill - Credits for being active with the cold weather and most likely slick sidewalks!

Joy - KUDOS for a successful January!! You've worked hard every day, it seems!

Just a quick note here as I'm off to try to do a little birthday gift planning for DH.

[BillBlueEyes]

Diet Coaches/Buddies – Walked my Sunday standard, CREDIT moi, despite two offers of rides by folks who thought walking icy sidewalks wasn't wise. But I didn't break anything and the cold was delightfully bracing. There are few parking spaces; the snow is mounded high; there's no room to stack more; and another 10 inches are predicted for today. Ouch!

Watched the New England Patriots (American football) win the Super Bowl last night in a thriller with the winner uncertain until sub-20 seconds remaining. We didn't serve snacks here, so staying on plan during the evening was easy. But CREDIT moi nonetheless. Earlier as I grabbed lunch from a table of snack food my choices weren't so stellar. Looking for a full day on plan today.


Joy (gardenerjoy) – "terrific!" indeed. Congrats for the willingness to move forward.

CeeJay - You so gladdened my heart with "listening to Jimi Hendrix live at the LA Forum April 25, 1970. Sweet!" Kudos for "but I stopped right away and have been eating healthy all weekend" - my take is that stopping is the best strategy to have mastered.

maryann - Kudos for having developed "Built in resistance training." Sending supportive thoughts as you face realities with your mom that brings up all the family history. Is she willing to sign over to you her financial management so that checks for gifts can't be written even when badgered?

nationalparker – Kudos for taking the time to seriously see yourself in a potential house. It's fun to think that you'll be on vacation before February ends.

Readers -

day 31 Decide about Drinking

If you want to fit drinking into your diet, you need to plan your alcohol intake in advance, just as you do your food intake. This means limiting your consumption and making sure that alcohol doesn't loosen your inhibitions about eating.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 220.

[karenrn]

Good morning coaches,

Congrats on the Patriots win yesterday, Bill! We mostly enjoyed the game, except for those final few seconds. It wasn't an eating affair at our house either, just dh and I and some chicken white bean chili on plan.

Well I guess I've been MIA for more than a few days. I've been around and have been reading your posts and probably should have posted myself. It's been a rough few days food wise and it showed on the scale; up two pounds this morning. It would have been worse I'm sure, but I finally had a good on plan day yesterday. I'll give myself credit for exercise though. The only day I didn't exercise was Friday when I made and ate cookies instead. Not a good plan. The weather was crappy (rainy) for a few days and we had several social things going on. I had those horrible feelings of not being able to get back on track and that I wouldn't keep up my exercise and I wouldn't be able to do my planned backpacking trips. Luckily I kept exercising and then have gotten a grip with the food again. It seems I have these off plan times just often enough that I don't get any weight off.

Okay, getting breakfast now and packing the backpack with 20 to 22 pounds and out to hike 10 miles. I'm slowly building up the weight I'm carrying and so far so good. Personals later or more likely tomorrow.

[onebyone]

Hi Coaches!

That persnickety scale moved today lining up with an official weigh-in day. I am 276.9 and down 7.9lbs for the first phase of the SBD and now I am in phase 2. Except I am really doing a phase 1.5 as I won't completely add in some of those "allowable" foods. Not daily anyway that's for sure. I am shooting for weekly goals and for viewing my weightloss in 5lb chunks and challenges. For this week I will add an apple into my plan, if I want it. I do not want myself to believe it is mandatory for me to eat that apple. It's a choice I now have is all. Overall, I'm remaining low carbs. I am super-craving wheat products but will say NO to them this week once more. I think this week I will add the apple and 2 swims.

When I reach this 5lb goal I will set another goal.

I think if I keep changing it up and making each 5lb chunk something interesting or challenging I can enjoy this process somewhat, and be involved/motivated to stay in the moment and not, like I was just doing before I sat down to write this, lamenting that "5lbs every month is only 60lbs in a year and I won't even be under 200. Now if I lost 8lbs every month I would lose almost 100 in a year-I could find that extra 4 to make it a 100" and then I collapsed under the weight of my expectations into feeling depressed that all that is sooooooo far away and such a long time to stay on plan. I MUST find some other way to cope and I think a 5lb focus with different personal challenges will work. This year I am not "starting over". I am "moving forward" no matter what. It's time to think up solutions to my behaviours and if nothing come of that, to simply move on. Bad days/choices/meals will happen and so what?

BillBlueEyes I wiped out carrying my box of supplies for the printing class yesterday morning. It was a slow fall and I never let go of the box. I thought "Hmmm. Guess I don't have brittle bones," and walked to the car with my ankle a bit sore. Perversely I was glad to be "tested" but don't recommend this. I was lucky. Horrible terrible weather out there today.

nationalparker Looking out at our blizzard I can well imagine it is nice to think about a vacation right now. I assume it's to somewhere warm? You're not heading North or going skiing or snowshoeing are you?? Actually, skidooing would be good today!

CeeJay I have been thinking about the "breaks" our intense cold weather can provide. It's really kind of rare where I am now, a stone's throw from Toronto (though not today with this blizzard pressing down) but n Ottawa nd in Sudbury there were days that were so cold you really did stop what you were doing and stay in. Everything in your body tells you it is the right thing to do to snuggle up in that blankie and hunker down. Winnipeg is famous for its cold. Now, if you are saying it's cold IT IS COLD. Happy to read you are finding peace with food doing SBD. Me too. Yay! May we both have continued success and hang onto victories gained!

maryann I have to totally agree with you that is is HOW I eat more than what these days that changes things and ushers in some weightloss. Absolutely. Kudos for 3lbs down! We had the same kind of family dynamics you mention. My oldest sister was more than happy to be supported by not just my mother but by my next oldest sister. The family myth said my oldest sister was a weakling and a sickly. This started in childhood when maybe she was but having not grown up with them I saw a manipulator who got what she wanted using that trump card. They did not say no until they could no longer say yes. It was simply not possible to give any more money. It happened first with my mother who turned power of attorney over to her second oldest who then only gave my pldest sister money she had. Then when the stock market crashed, that tap was turned off too. There is a permanent rift that I don't think will heal and I just stay away from the oldest sister as I feel in my gut she can seriously hurt me with her manipulations. She specializes in triangulations amongst family members, taking advantage of the chaos and the hurt feelings as she whispers mean secrets only she knows into the ear of one and the equal but opposite secrets only she knows into the ears of the other. This causes the previous going-along-ok relationship between the two she has enlightened to start to fail as you wonder "is it true? did she really say that? does she mean that?" I no longer care and don't go there or indulge that and as a result we haven't talked since my brother's funeral. Result: my life is more calm. And the oldest sister is now financially independent, she is employed and paying her own rent/bills, (she is 60) which is better for her self esteem than any amount of money given her could ever fix.

gardenerjoy Fantastic on 2lbs gone in January. You've turned your boat around! Great. I look forward to hearing you discuss Stage 2.

Going now to see what the groundhogs say...http://www.theweathernetwork.com/new...undhogs/44630/

[gardenerjoy]

Nobody's seeing shadows here today. We have a dusting of snow and huge, fluffy flakes falling. But they say it won't amount to much this far south.

We caught the half-time show while eating supper, but otherwise the Super Bowl was a non-event and non-eating-event for us, which was fine. Glad that it was an exciting game and that BillBlueEyes' team won.

I spent yesterday getting myself organized and I'm feeling much better. After last week, I'm acutely aware that "feeling behind" is a trigger for me. So, I'm going to see if I can manage my days and expectations so that I don't feel behind. We only have so many hours in a day. I'm old enough to quit expecting there to be more hours just because I put too many things on my list.

WI: +0.15 kg, Exercise: +40 40/1200 minutes for February, Food: 100% op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

karenrn: one thing that has helped me with the phenomenon where I'm mostly doing well, except when I'm not, is to start tracking a streak. If I have a string of days where I've been 80% on plan or better, I'm much more likely not to break it.

[maryann]

Good Morning, Coaches.

Thanks so much for stories and input about family. I realized through them there are ways out and through. I was given the gift of acceptance this morning in my meditation. This situation is as it is for me to learn powerful lessons. I also realized that by maintaining a healthy food life I am able and present to take any necessary steps. The truth is present and that is a very powerful thing.

Struggled with about half the skills yesterday. I realize that my depression gives me "permission" to eat cookies. Just like onebyone's sister's story, old weakness does not give me permission to rely on the same crutch for a lifetime.

[curlyjax]

hi coaches!
we're back from an emotional weekend. I ate a little too much sugar but didnt' go crazy, and managed to sneak in one walk in the cold.
Mother in law's death feels much more real now that we have been in her house without her, and after the memorial of course. She was very lucky to live to 92 in good health, and had a good community of folks that miss her.

Part of me also mourned the loss of a certain time/way of life, even though i didn't live it myself-a safe, beautiful town in the 1960-70s. DH had a large family and extended family, and there were many get togethers in various places, and for the most part folks got along. I tell DH he had an idealic upbringing! Plus where she lived sounded like a special community that is really hard to find these days. All the houses now are bought by people who live in NYC and use them as weekend homes only, so for this town anyway, that community feel is dying out.
I'm feeling very fortunate that DH and his remaining siblings (2 pre-deceased his mom) are good folks and get along. It was funny to see how careful we all were with each other as we start to remove beloved items from their childhood home- (does anyone else want this blue mug?) etc.

Thinking about all that its really sad to read about sibling/family issues Maryann, onebyone and lexiss had/are having. Passages of life are hard enough when family does function well, it would be such a challenge when they don't. Kudos for you all for posting and sounding very healthy in your thinking.

I'm too far behind to post many personals but will get back to doing them.
I have to say, it did not help to come back from such an event and have another foot of snow today, I am so done with winter!!

[nationalparker]

Reading the stories about disfunction in families makes me feel less alone with the issues with my sister during this past year especially. I'm sure no family is ideal to all members, but the commitment by those involved to make it a bit easier for everyone just seems so helpful. CurlyJax - I'm glad to hear that it sounds like there was caring thoughts all around for you and DH as you went through what still must've been a tough time last week.

Will turn in and journal a bit this evening. It's been a while. Will delve into my mindset on working harder to eat more nutritiously but smaller portions, adding in some more protein. I feel like I'm back in the ww mentality - and I'm not on ww. But have that "what can I eat for my calories" instead of the healthy food I should be eating.

Bill - Be careful with the icy sidewalks - I took a bad spill a few winters ago and am still gun-shy on our sidewalks. Luckily I had a hat on so when my head bounced it was a bit protected. Like that you have kind folks around you, offering rides.

OneByOne - GREAT DANG JOB so far. I hope you're patting yourself on the back for your commitment and moving forward this year. Sorry to hear about YOUR fall, but smiling that you had a death grip on your supplies to keep holding onto them! Also, big credits to you for grasping the drama that your oldest sister creates and thrives on. I just don't understand that with my sister and I get so frustrated... I think, "what do you get out of making it so hard for everyone else to go through life?"

Joy - I'm with you on the expectations I set on myself each day. I don't want my days to be just lists of doing ... but rather building in some enjoying.

Chilled to the bone tonight. A cup of tea will be a nice handwarmer and bodywarmer.

[BillBlueEyes]

Diet Coaches/Buddies – Shoveled snow again, CREDIT moi with a touch of annoyance. We got the full predicted ten inches. Schools will be closed for another day. The snow is getting harder to pile up as the stacks get taller. Hope the weather service is wrong because they are predicting more snow on Thursday that will continue through the next week. It's been years since we had a real winter around here; methinks we've gotten soft.

Alas, for our British readers, it's necessary to clarify my statement yesterday that the New England Patriots won the Super Bowl of American-football. Seems that the Daily Mail congratulated the New England Revolution (our local soccer team) for the victory. Should anyone not remember, what everyone on planet earth outside of the U.S. calls 'football' is called 'soccer' here. Perhaps we'll change that on the same day that we adopt the metric system.


onebyone – Kudos for facing the Sabotaging Thought, "if I lose faster, I'll be done sooner," with grace and determination. It's tough to accept that the wise, long, slow path will be . . . long. [Glad that you don't have brittle bones - think I'll avoid testing mine.]

Joy (gardenerjoy) – Interesting observation, that "feeling behind" is a trigger for me. When I'm acting wisely, I avoid getting behind because I can stew myself into getting behinder and behinder.

maryann - Thanks for the reminder, "does not give me permission to rely on the same crutch" - it's so easy to fall into old patterns as if 'old' justified it.

nationalparker – Kudos for working on your mentality choosing your foods. (I knew that I wasn't a candidate for Weight Watcher when I heard of zero calorie soup and couldn't think of anything else except for how many hours did I have to wait to have seconds.)

Karen (karenrn) - Congrats for working your way up to 20-22 pounds in your backpack. Thanks to Arizona for hosting the Super Bowl - it would have been a rough game in Massachusetts on Sunday.

curlyjax - Great step in an emotional family setting: "but didn't go crazy" - Kudos. Will think about your observation that passages of life are hard even when family gets along.

Readers -

day 31 Decide about Drinking

The Facts About Alcohol
Unfortunately, alcohol contains calories - a lot. At 7 calories a gram, it's nearly twice as caloric, gram for gram, as protein and carbohydrates (both of which are about 4 calories per gram). Plus, most of the mixers that go into alcoholic drinks are highly caloric. One mixed drink can easily contain 400 calories!

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 220.

[karenrn]

Good morning coaches,

Two days in a row on plan with food, credit. One pound gone (again). Did about a 10 mile hike with my 22 pound backpack and am encouraged that I can do the hike in about the same time as without the backpack.

GardenerJoy Thanks for the suggestions regarding tracking a streak. I'm writing down my hikes and exercise in a weekly minder book to see my progress. I'll use the same book to track my streak on the food side. And good for you on the 2 pound loss in January.

Curlyjax Glad you had good family time while you were at your MIL's Memorial. And I hear you about mourning a different way of life. That's how I felt after our Minnesota vacation last summer.

Bill I'd like to see all your snow, but oh boy what a lot of work. Be careful.

Onebyone Good job on the weight loss. Amazing how much we have to talk to ourselves, isn't it?

Waving to the rest of you.