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Old 07-11-2014, 09:49 AM   #56
Wannabeskinny
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 3,576

S/C/G: 215/188/150

Height: 5'4"

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Originally Posted by Wannabeskinny View Post
Sit and think through the worst - what if you ate the pepperoni pizza and your dad told you he was disappointed in you. What would you say to him? Have fun with this question and please share your answer
!
Pink I'm surprised you could garner any meaning from my jet lagged brain in what I wrote. I fixed a couple of typos in the above sentence. I'm glad all went well with your dad and you enjoyed your time and your pizza too!

Things are tough for me here. I'm visiting my parents in Greece and I'm having a difficult time adjusting to the time and getting my IE practices in order. My mother triggers diet the diet mentality in me. My body image has taken a nose dive since my arrival. I'm feeling uncomfortable in my own skin even alone in the dark in consumed with thoughts of inadequacy. I've been here 2 days already and she has not made any comment on my appearance which for her means there is nothing nice to say so she says nothing. I'm very uncomfortable and feel like I am a disappointment because she is very thin, fit and fashion forward.

The food and hunger stuff is being sorted, I may be restricting a little for various reasons. Being in someone else's home can be awkward as far as snacking and mealtimes go. People here eat a cookie and coffee for breakfast, lunch is at 2pm and dinner is at 9 or later. It's extremely difficult to adapt to it and snacking on my own is met with disapproval. My mother is one of those "do you really NEED to eat that now?" type of mothers. The scrutiny is heavy. My husband ran out to get some staples for us and I asked him to pick up ham and she intervened "that's not necessary, I really want you to try not to eat that stuff while you're here, it's unhealthy and nobody should eat it." Of course I feel like crying. Her snacks are bread and cheese and fruit - I don't really like cheese and bread I'm ambivalent about and fruit is something I eat when I want it I can't eat it as a snack if in craving something else. Now I feel horrible about the ham like in being disapproved of all the time.

She also wouldn't let me leave the house with the outfit I had on today and made me change. Now I feel horrible in both those outfits and I didn't bein that many clothes with me. Lunch today came so late that I was hangry and irritable and moody and didnt want to eat what was being offered anyway but I has no choice.

I really hope I survive this, I'm feeling restricted and controlled and scrutinized and these are a recipe for disaster. Sorry for the rant, I haven't felt this fat in months.
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“If you try to lose weight by shaming, depriving and fearing yourself, you will end up shamed, deprived, and afraid.” Geneen Roth
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