Originally Posted by Wannabeskinny
Of course you suspect the worst of me kaplods. This does not surprise me.
I do not suspect the worst, of you or anyone else, I expect everyone, including myself to be a complex combination of their experiences, attitudes and beliefs, often oblivious, but generally open to other points of view. I expect that most of us will harbor prejudices and stereotypes we're not even aware of until someone else points them out to us (and often not even then).
Your original post and subsequent posts made it very clear that you were put off by the teacher's appearance and were expecting the hollywood image of a tai chi instructor.
It's my understanding (which could itself actually be an inaccurate ethnic stereotype that I harbor) that the,"Just watch and listen," teaching style is pretty typical of many if not most asian cultures, so even if the teacher had been elderly and Chinese, the teaching method could very well have been the same.
It's also my experience that whenever someone states up-front and first-off that they're "trying not to judge," generally they already have judged, have judged harshly, and are wanting and expecting others to agree with, and justify the same judgement.
Your posts have only reinforced that impression. You spent a lot more time talking about how this guy looked than the teaching method you had a problem with. The time you devote to a subject tends to reveal where your true feelings and priorities lie.
We all have prejudices that cloud our judgement of others.
That's far from "assuming the worst," that's just assuming the typical and normal.
Judging while trying not to judge is pretty normal. I'm trying to do it now, and am failing. The only difference is that I know I'm failing and have no problem at all with others here pointing that out the failings I may or may not see, as has happened and will continue to happen often here on 3FC.
I can't tell you how many times, criticisms I've received here have helped me understand myself and others better, because I was letting personal prejudices I didn't even know I had, get in the way.
Nellie, JohnP, and ArcticMama are just a few of the folks here who have been extremely helpful in that regard.