Well, yesterday turned out to be another day lost to depression pain. I went from melancholy to acutely miserable not long after I posted. Bob helped me by encouraging me to go upstairs and get in bed, so he could spoon around me and hold me. It was hard to move when I was hurting so bad, but Bob's idea was a good one: I actually fell asleep with his arm around me, and slept through the whole evening and night.
And I've got some good news: I analysed the progression of my mood decline over the week and into the weekend, and I realized that it might be due to my having cut in half the daily dose of one of my medications. I did it because my shrink wants me off that particular drug, and I did it gradually over the course of a month. But all the same, maybe now, with all the BERP pressure, is not a good time to be doing that. So starting with yesterday's dose, I went back up to what I was taking before. And guess what?! I feel much better today, like my normal chipper self againeven in the middle of the afternoon, which is always my worst time of day. I'm so relieved, I just can't tell you!
I see my shrink tomorrow. I'll show him my mood chart so he can see what happened when I cut that medication by 50%. Maybe after the BERP is over and the kittens have arrived & settled in, I could try weaning myself off that med... but much more slowly next time!
Thanks, y'all, for the kind words and the support. It means a lot to me to know that such terrific people are listening. I don't have the energy to make personal comments today, but worththeeffort2, I want you to know that I am listening to you and thinking about you, every day.
Current mini-goal: Get down to 260
Pounds to go: 15
Mini-goal 1: 30 days binge-free > done 12/21/13 & binge-free now
Mini-goal 2: Get down to 280 > done 5/22/14