Hi there -
thanks for your warm welcome. I hope soon to find more time to get to know you all better.
I'm 36, way too heavy and not sure where I really want to be in life right at the moment. So I make getting healthy and feeling lighter and getting to know myself again my top priority. (My boss just calls from behind - I think he also wants his part of my attention)
Well my nick is not saying that I abstain from all sugar - more that - there is not only coffee to go, but sugar to go - it came from a joke a friend once made, saying "When you're with me, I can drink coffee black." The man is done, the name kind of stayed.
I started "dieting" - or better changing my behavior regarding food and life in general on April, 10th - and up to now I'm quite happy with that. Lost the first 15 lbs, eat loads of healthy food.
But it is still there - the fear of not being able to stay on track. I feel more lonely the longer I'm on this track and I dislike myself because I made myself so unhappy and so fat - without any real reason. I'm deeply into emotional eating and stayed too long in a relationship that was not good for me (but silly as my heart is, I still love this man. He went on, but I still stay here. Not waiting, but still not understanding) - I gained about 50lbs throughout the last 3 years of relationsship. I don't want to lose weight to prove anything to anyone, apart from myself - that I'm totally worth all the good stuff. (you would never think all that if you get to know me - I'm "bigmouthed", strong, self confident - so - as you all might know - putting up a good show most of the time)
I normally love my life and have few but really great friends - but they all live spread throughout my small country and it get's lonely just having myself for company.
I never really connected to the people around here, and was lazy to meet new ones, because either I spend time with the guy - or with waiting for him. Sounds totally dumb - and it was.
I'd love to go to the gym (do you call it that??) again, but at the moment I feel too heavy for that and started doing more steps and walks during the evenings...
Today is a day full of work and headache - but I'm happy to be here with all of you - that feels right.
I hope you have a great day! (or night?)